Thought i'd take fan fiction to the extreme and go a bit crazy with it. so be warned now this is mad.

characters- main are Des and Sheelagh but also involves adam, honey, gary, phil, kerry, cameron (pretty much everyone)

It's a sunny summers day in a very sunny summer. Most of Sunhill police officers are stood outside the station waiting to be picked up for there week long camping trip as part of Adams new team building idea.

"Baggsey at the back!" Said Des

"Not if i beat you to it!" Smiled Sheelagh

"Is that fighting talk sergant Murphy"

"Call me Sheelagh, were not working now. and yes it is"

"I don't like fighting so i know what you can sit on my knee then we can both sit at the back, can't we"

Des expected Sheelagh to back down, but Sheelagh was far from doing so and the bus was pulling up In front of them.

"Great idea!" agreed Sheelagh

"What?" Coughed Des thinking she was serious

"Your so imaginative Des, shame no-one else has ever seen the protential"

"Ain't you the funny one"

"Oh yes i certainly am"

"Maybe someone needs to wipe that pretty little smirk off your face"

"Do they now. who might that someone be?" Laughed Sheelagh

"Me!" Des picked her up and flung her over his shoulder and ran on the bus with her

"Arrrrr, put me down!" Giggled Sheelagh repeatedly. Sheelagh was laughing her head off, everyone else was laughing at them to.

"No, your staying there all the way!" Explained Des

"Please, Des put me down!" Des began to tickle her. Sheelagh was laughing even more now.

"Stop it...please...ha ha ha"

"No" Laughed Des

"THE LADY SAID PUT HER DOWN SO PUT HER DOWN NOW!" Shouted the bus driver. All fell silent, everyone stopped. Des placed Sheelagh down with a thud on the back seat of the bus where they were stood knocking her sunglasses half way down her nose.

"Patrick!" Gasped Sheelagh surprised

"Don't speek to me" spat Patrick

"oooohhh" Everyone laughed and carried on getting on. Patricked sulked off the bus loading the bags on leaving Sheelagh and Des in fits of laughter.

"Do you know him?" whispered Des

"Yeah, its me husband" whispered back Sheelagh in a giggle

"Best behavier then hey sarge" whispered Des giggling too.

"Yes" Des sat down on the only seat now left on the bus, which was next to the bus driver.

"This should be fun!" Said Des sarcastically

"Des told you i'd get back seat." Shouted Sheelagh triumphantly. They began on the four hour drive to the middle of nowhere in very high spirits. Cans of beer was already being passed round.

"Right our first team excercise we are going to do now." Explained Adam standing up in his seat

"Let me off!" Joked Des rattling the door

"Very funny Desmond" Smiled Adam

"You've not heard what it is yet then you'll want to get off the sodding bus." Gina said whilst stubbing out her cigarette before Adam saw her

"Lets do some singing!" Proclaimed Adam. Half the bus cheered the other grunted.

"Do we have any volunteers to start us off with are first song." asked Adam ignoring the grunts.

"Is this the way to armarillo, every night i'm hugging my pillow" Sang Des from the front of the bus

"Dreaming dreams of armarillo, Where sweet maria waits for me, Sha la la la la la la la" Everyone joined in.

bang bang made by stamping, clapping and shouting

"Sha la la la la la la la la," (bang bang)

"Sha la la la la la la la la and maria waits for me." The song driffed on for over 2 minutes then converted into delilah, new york, new york, many others and finally into 'follow the leader' led once again by Des. After about a hour everyone had stopped and was just chating nicely. Mainly cause they were to drunk to remember the words.

"Excuse me mate can you put the radio on please" Asked Gary getting the drivers attention.

"Sorry but it doesn't work" Said Patrick Shortly

"Since when?" came Sheelagh's voice from the back of the bus, which Patrick choose to ignore. "The big pleb!" Sheelagh got up and ssat on the steps at the front of the bus messing with the radio.

"What you doing you stupid woman?" Complained Patrick

"You don't ignore me now do you!" Said Sheelagh. The radio came on fine and Sheelagh started to sing along joined by des

"let's do the ime warp again, lets do the time warp.…" Sang Des and Sheelagh. Des and Sheelagh were now dancing around in the aisle and everyone was watching the entertainment on the tiresome journey. "Its a step to the left, then a…" The music stopped.

"Hey what you turned it off for?" Asked Sheelagh

"Your getting on my nerves and its a health and safety issue" Explained Patrick

"Me dancing doesn't normally get on your nerves honey bun!" Smiled Sheelagh interrupted by a few slurred words. Everyone laughed and Patrick went red in the face, this made Shelagh very gleeful. sheelagh turned the radio back on. Patrick turned it off. Sheelagh turned it on. Patrick turned it off. on. off. on. off. everyone was laughing.

"Pwease...…" Sheelagh said through puppy dog eyes. patrick turned the radio on. accompanied by a cheer the music came on again.

"As long as you sit down" Ordered Patrick

"OK" Sheelagh toddled off down the bus humming along.