Disclaimer-I do not own Fruits Basket
Chapter 9-The Memory's Of Our Past
"Oh my...Kyo I remember! I remember everything!" Tohru shouted, throwing herself into Kyo's arms. Of course she hadn't known about the curse being broken, because she wasn't around when that had happened. But she obviously hadn't thought about what would happen if she had hugged him as well. But nothing, to her surprise nothing had happened. The only thing she knew was Kyo had wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her so close to his body. It was as if she was about to leave once more. But she wasn't. She was right here with him, and she didn't want to leave again.
"Tohru," he said so softly it sent chills down her back. Kyo wanted to pull her away from his body, but at the same time he was never able to hold Tohru so close to him. So…lovingly. So he just sat there for as long as Tohru let him, and he held her. Telling her it was going to be okay as she sobbed her sadness into his chest. Soaking his shirt. But even when Kyo could feel his wet shirt getting even more soaked he wouldn't let her go until her crying came to a stop. And that didn't happen for a long time.
"Kyo-kun…" she said softly, and lifted her head from his chest. "I…I wanted to see everyone. But…I think I need some time before I go and see everyone." Tohru's crying had stopped for only a second, but then she busted out crying once more.
"What's wrong?" Kyo asked.
"I cant believe how hurt they all were when they all saw me. And I just acted like I didn't know any of them. And…" Tohru paused as the name came into mind. She wasn't even thinking when she had said her next words. "And poor Yuki-kun! He must be so upset!" she screamed, making Kyo pull back from her.
She hadn't, she didn't. She couldn't have…but…he knew it. She had said it. Maybe she didn't mean it the way he thought he had. But when she had said his name she made it sound as if he was the only thing in the world. As if he was the only thing that meant anything to her. How in the world could she be thinking about Yuki now. Especially if she said she had remembered everything. If she really had remembered everything then she should have remembered how Kyo felt about her.
Unless…she really did love Yuki still before she had gotten her memory erased. Either way it hurt Kyo so much. So badly. He didn't even want to here her speak anymore. Tohru, as if knowing this, looked down at the ground. No, she didn't love Yuki. Even now she still loved Kyo more then anything. But Yuki had…he had loved her. And Kyo had at least spent some time with her even when she didn't remember.
She wasn't trying to sound selfish either.
"Kyo…" Tohru said so very low that Kyo had just heard her say his name. She placed her hand over his eyes, making him look into her eyes. She smiled so softly. It was her old smile. Her warming and soothing smile. Then, she had gone to say something but Kyo didn't want to here what ever she was going to say. So instead he yanked her up onto her feet and smiled at her.
"its okay," was all he said as he started to walk off.
Tohru had so badly wanted to say something when Yuki's face popped into her mind stopping her from doing this. She made the picture of him go away and once again tried saying something to Kyo when once again his face popped into her mind.
He might have not shown it, but he was happy. So happy that Tohru remembered him, and everyone else. Even if it was Yuki. But of course Kyo wasn't the type to show anyone how happy he could get over one thing. And it must have seemed to Tohru that he wasn't happy at all. Like he didn't even care about her remembering him. But he did. He cared more then almost anything that could happen to him. But then he also thought about it much harder. It was Momiji's kiss that had made Tohru remember. After he had kissed her he had also ran off, and so did she. Only Tohru ran off in fear.
Kyo shook these odd idea's out of his mind. He only tried to pay attention to the woods he had now gotten lost in. He was sure he knew the way back. He had marked the trees by breaking of a branch and dropping it into a path on the floor. But at one point the path broke, and the sticks had scattered everywhere. He sighed as he knelt down to the ground and looked carefully at the sticks. It was really hard to tell which way the remanding sticks after the scattered ones were pointing to the dark light. He stood back up to his feet, and made a small left, signaling Tohru this is the way they had to go.
"Kyo-kun," Tohru said after a long period of silence.
He stopped, but didn't say a word. She knew he was happy, and yet upset at the same time. Happy, because she remembered. Sad, because she was worried more about Yuki, then him. And she really was for some odd reason. She had felt bad for Yuki, but why? She didn't know why. And here she was, looking at Kyo, who had now turned and faced her. He could see it in her eyes. She was hurt for some odd reason. Kyo had right away thought it was because of the way he was acting. But it wasn't. And yet something was telling him that this wasn't the only reason.
Yuki. Tohru for some reason had thought about Yuki the moment her memory's came back. And that was the reason why she had ran. She was afraid to look at Kyo. It wasn't because she remembered everything about him, his good qualities and bad ones. No. Nothing like that. It was the first person who her mind aimed towards. Yuki. And when she had seen him in her mind she got scared. Scared to tell Kyo that she was thinking about Yuki. That for some odd reason her heart had passed right by Kyo and went strait to Yuki.
She couldn't even understand what had happened. Why she was thinking about Yuki and not Kyo. She searched deep down in her heart for the very feelings she had for Kyo, but she just couldn't find them. Only knew feelings. But how in the world would she have gotten knew feelings when she hadn't remembered for four years. It made no sense to her. She lifted her head as Kyo still waited so patiently for her to say something.
The night wind blew by, causing Tohru's hair to sway back and forth at the perfect moments. She breathed into the night sky and saw her own breathe. It was getting cold. It seemed the longer Kyo stared at her with his red ruby eyes, the more feelings she had for him that would vanish. But she didn't want this to happen. She didn't want to stop loving Kyo. But she was, and she was now thinking that her feelings for Kyo were being transferred to Yuki. She looked down at the floor, at her feet. She shivered as another gust of wind passed by. She had to say something, anything.
"Kyo-kun…I'm sorry," she said, still looking down at her feet.
"Tohr-"
"no," Tohru said cutting him off. "I am, I really am sorry. You must have been so happy when I told you I remembere. And I wa-"
This time Kyo had cut Tohru off, only his patience was gone and he couldn't take it anymore. It was clear now that she didn't feel the same way for him as she used to.
"You promised!" he shouted, taking Tohru by surprise.
"Kyo-kun?"
"You promised Tohru! You promised you wouldn't remember! You broke that promise! And now I have to suffer knowing you don't love me anymore. But instead love that damn rat boy!"
"Kyo-kun I never said I loved hi-"
"Oh bullshit Tohru! (sorry bout Kyo getting ooc!) You don't have to say anything! Your facial expression, you apologizing. It just gives it all up!" Kyo said as tears stung to his eyes. But he wouldn't let them fall. Not in front of her. He couldn't let her see how much this was really hurting him.
Tohru head lifted her head, but she had only once more looked down at the ground. She remembered, she had promised Kyo that she wouldn't remember. But… she did. And was it entirely her fault? She thought for a moment then thought that half of her remembered was her fault. Kyo had tried to get her not to come to this house, he really did. But she was stubborn and wanted to go anyways.
"I…I don't know what happened. I don't know why every thing changed! I just don't get it! I'm sorry Kyo-kun…I really am!" Tohru said as fresh tears filled her eyes and fell silently to the ground.
Kyo would have usually done something, but she had just admitted with out even knowing it that she did love Yuki. And this had not only made him upset, but furious. He was pissed more then anyone would be able to explain it. Then at the same time he had the feeling of a breaking, no scratch that, broken heart. It heart. It heart so much. He looked at Tohru with no sympathy for her. He couldn't feel bad for her. One part of him wanted to, but then another was just telling him not to care. And he was listening to the one side telling him not to care.
She didn't love him anymore. She loved Yuki. After four years waiting for her to come back to him. For her to remember, his heart is broken. Shattered. Torn so badly that he honestly thought it would never be able to be healed once more.
"Lets go.." Kyo said as he turned around and started to walk away.
Tohru slightly looked up only to see him walking away. She sighed, knowing he was pissed. And sad as well. She wished she could have done something about it, but she was smart enough to no not to mess with him now. Tohru was so confused. She didn't understand how her feelings had changed towards Yuki. It made no sense what so ever. Especially being that she hadn't remembered who they were for four years. She so badly wanted to turn around and run. Run and never stop. Not come back. Not only did she feel bad for Kyo, but Momiji as well.
He…Momiji… he loved her. And still did. And so did Kyo obviously. She sighed in sadness and confusion. She didn't know what to do. It was all to much for her at once. She couldn't handle it. Her heart felt as if it was going to shatter from all the impact it had just taken. She didn't even want to think of how Kyo must have felt.
Kyo stopped once more and faced Tohru. His eyes were glazed as if he was holding back hidden tears. He bent his head down and squeezed his eyes shut.
"Why?" he asked, his hands now turning into fists. "Why the hell did it happen?" he asked completely confusing Tohru. "Why did you have to fall in love with Yuki? I…It wont seep into my mind that you really do love him Tohru! It doesn't make any sense if you hadn't known who he was for four years!" Kyo paused and but didn't look up at Tohru.
When Kyo had asked this question something shot threw her head like a bullet. She new why now. She understood why she had loved Yuki and not Kyo.
"I.." she started, she too now looking down at the floor and letting her tears slip off her cheeks and into the already moist ground. "Because I loved him before I forgot!" she cried out, making Kyo look up at her in shock.
"so you mean…you mean to tell me that you never loved me?" Kyo shot back his anger taking complete control of him.
"NO" she shouted quickly looking up at Kyo and making eye contact with him. She quickly looked away and sighed. "I loved you Kyo! I honestly did! But when you had told me you loved me that night in the woods. The very night we shared our first kiss. I felt something inside of me spark. Half of it was the feelings I was hiding from you. And the other half was the feelings I was hiding for Yuki!" she shouted as more tears filled up her already teary eyes and slid down her cheeks.
Kyo's hands only turned into tighter fists. He clenched his teeth, and his eyes even closed tighter. If you had looked hard enough you would have been able to see the slightest little tear slip down his cheek. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. It was just to much for him. He no regretted asking her this question. It was hard to think about Tohru loving Yuki. But now that he knew the reason why she loved Yuki now, and not him just hurt him more.
"So your trying to tell me that you loved Yuki when I told you that I loved you?" he questioned.
"I'm...I'm so sorry Kyo!" she shouted as she sobbed harder then she thought she ever could.
Kyo only stayed in the same position as he was in before. He didn't move. Only his eyes fluttered open for a moment. But then he quickly closed them when seeing Tohru down on the floor, her hands covering her face, and tears seeping threw her hands. He wanted to go over there and hug her. Tell her everything was okay, that he understood. But he didn't. He couldn't believe how Tohru could do this to him. They both stayed in that position for at least a half hour until Kyo decided he had to do something. He unclenched his hands, and slowly opened his eyes. He looked over at Tohru who had happened to still be on the floor crying.
As much as he didn't want to, he walked over to her and kneeled down in front of her. Biting his bottom lip just a little he reached his arm out and gently touched Tohru's soft skin. He wrapped his hands around her wrist and pulled her hands away from her stained tear face. She looked up into Kyo's hurt eyes. She couldn't look away. Something kept her eyes staring into his. Maybe it was the kindness that he still showed for her even after all of this happened. The sweet side of him that was making himself do this for her. Tohru shut her eyes to break the look between them. But when she did this it was as if Kyo's pain had shot threw her body.
She could some how feel the pain he was going threw. And it was ten times worse then what she was feeling. She was sure it was his pain she was feeling. Cause it sure wasn't hers. Now she only felt worse about everything that had happened. She wanted to tell him she was so sorry. But she knew he wouldn't believe it. If she was really that sorry then she would have made those feelings for Yuki go away a long time ago. And she never did. She kept them there just in case Kyo would ever stop loving her. She really was stubborn to think that Kyo would stop loving her. As she now found out he hadn't even stopped loving her after four years.
When he could have and found some on else to love. Some on who wouldn't be spiteful and leave his life.
"Kyo-kun…" Tohru said softly. "I know you probably don't think its true...but…I'm sorry Kyo-kun!" she shouted.
ok people i am terribly sorry for the very long wait. but my computer is being such a spaz and having so many problems! uggers..so here is the next chapter..uhm..i hope you all enjoyed it. And oh, someone said they thought this was a KyoxTohru fanfic...well for who ever said that it is. I just need to get my story going. Believe me it is a KyoxTohru facfic so calm down and wait! lol..jk okay please r.r thanks a lot! and people please review! THANK YOU SO MUCH!