A/N:OK, HERE GOES......
Christmas bells are ringing Christmas bells are ringing Christmas bells are ringing Somewhere else Not here - Christmas Bells are Ringing(that was a hard one right?) from Rent
Lily stared glumly as the rest of the girls in the dormitory were packing up there stuff for the holidays. She fingered her blanket, staring at the picture of her parents that was lying on her bed, out from its usual hiding place under her pillow. She heard the girls excited murmurs and giggles, as they talked about going home, pretending it was the hugest annoyance, when really, they had been looking forward to this time since the first day of school.
She had also once been like them. It seemed like a lifetime ago but it had been like that only just that past year. Just last year, she had been voicing the terrible hassle it was going home. Petunia was there, her father and mother heckling her about her grades, being cut off from the wizarding world. But secretly she had been keeping track of the days on her calendar, having long reveries about the fun she had at the time. And now, it would never happen again.
Lily remembered her father would always pick her up from the train station by himself pretending that the rest of the family hadn't cared that she was coming. She would go along with it, pretending it was such a huge disappointment for them not to come, and squeal with joy when she saw them there in the car. Her lips curved upwards when she remembered how happy it would make him.
"Lil, come on! You have to come stay with my family," Lynn begged, poking her head through the curtain.
Lily jumped back, surprised, and said "Lynn, no! NO! I'll be fine here. It won't be so bad,"
"Don't make me go home all by myself," Lynn implored once again, putting on her saddest, most helpless face "It's torture! Torture, I tell you! Mom and Dad invite my whole family over for a "lovely" Christmas dinner. Of course they can't ruin their night without embarrassing me so each time they ask me all these questions, take out my baby albums, and-and- I can't even go on. It's too horrible to say. I don't want to hurt anyone else with my burden." she finished, making a brave, decisive face.
"Well, than you won't want to torture me with the witnessing of such a terrible act. So I'll just stay here alone. I don't mind," Lily sighed, leaning back on her pillow.
"Well, you won't be all alone," Lynn said, changing the conversation as she leaned back so she was lying down next to Lily and made a mischievous face "JAMES will be there. Christmas, what a perfect time to set things right between you two,"
"Lynn, shut-"
"I got to go. Train's coming. Love, you miss you. Have fun and don't do anything I wouldn't do," Lynn said quickly, grabbed her bag, gave Lily a quick hug before zooming out of the room.
"Why does she always do that to me?" Lily moaned as she helped Annie and Joy with their bags.
"That's Lynn for you," Annie joked "Bye, Lil,"
"Bye guys," Lily said sadly as she left.
One thing was for sure. She was going to have one hell of a bad Christmas.
*~*~*~*
"Sirius, Remus, Peter, one of you has to stay over. Don't make me stay myself!" James moaned.
"Dude, you did this to yourself. You made the decision, remember?" Sirius snidely remarked.
"Insanity, insanity I tell you! I was not myself that day. Something possessed me. Something horrible, not of this world," James began to sit up slowly with a transfixed look of fear "It grasped my soul and took my reigns of control."
"Poor boy. What a horrible thing to do. I'll send you a piece of cake," Sirius said honestly, all of a sudden his face brightened and he looked as if he was in another world "That'll cheer you up. My mum makes the best cake, James. The best of the best. And I'm not just saying-"
"So, I've heard," James voice was muffled since he covered his head with his pillow "It'll be me, Evans, and Dumbledore. Merry damn Christmas to me,"
"Amen. Merry damn Christmas to you, too," Remus said, clapping James on the back before hauling his large suitcase out of the room "I would send you a piece of cake to, but frankly, my mom's cake suck,"
"Well, cake won't take away this permanent depression anyways," James said wearily.
"That's what you think. One whiff of my cake and it will be instant happiness. I'm not joking! This is great cake, brilliant, I tell you!" Sirius argued.
"Uhuh, great Sirius. I'll see if the cake lives up to your great descriptions when I taste it."
He walked them to the stairs, waved good-bye and watched them leave.
He walked back into the Common Room and looked around. There was an eerie quietness that almost spooked him. It had never been that quiet. It was always bustling and loud and crowded, and now he was the only person in the room. It felt pretty weird to him. James sat down on the couch and buried his head in his arms.
Why did he sign his name on that list to stay over for Hogwarts? He certainly didn't have a reason to. That possession theory he had told Sirius was beginning to sound like something he should look into because he honestly didn't know why.
*~*~*~*~*
Lily sat in the common room snuggled in a blanket with a mug of hot chocolate in her hands, reading a book. She'd never thought the Common Room could be so cozy. Sunlight streamed into the room through the immense windows and the room was brighter than it had ever been. She leaned back onto the large, plush pillow she'd brought from home and closed her eyes, feeling as if she was drinking peacefulness instead of hot chocolate. She lay there like for a while, losing track of time.
"Hey!" she heard someone shout.
She jumped up from her spot and let out a screech of surprise.
"Stop it James," she snapped, as he began to laugh "It wasn't funny. Rude, obnoxious, mean, it was. Funny, I think not."
"Your face was priceless," James said when he had finally calmed down "I mean priceless. We are talking Mona Lisa, capturing Voldmort priceless. It looked sort of this-" he said screwing his face into what looked to Lily thought was identical to a picture of a caveman she had once seen, though he obviously thought it looked like one full of shock and surprise"-except in a girl's face,"
"I am still mad at you," Lily said crossing her arms and moving away from him "If you're mean to me I won't hang out with you at all on Christmas. I mean it."
"Is that a threat or a promise?"
Lily glared at him and began to get up to leave, but he grasped her arm and said pleadingly "No, Lily, I'll be a good boy. Please play with me?"
"What does my dear boy want to do?" Lily asked sarcastically, sitting back down.
"Can we go play outside? If we play outside, I'll work on the project with you after." He said in a half-joking, half pleading tone.
"Whatever floats your boat," Lily said getting up.
"That is a really cool phrase," James commented, nodding his head slowly "I've always wanted to say it but it never seemed like there was a right time to say it."
"I can be very cool and hip when I want to be."
James laughed at her joke and Lily narrowed at her eyes "Why are you laughing? I wasn't joking!"
"Oh," James stopped suddenly, flustered "I was thinking about this thing. You see, it's a man thing. You wouldn't understand."
"Oh, male chauvinist pig time, is it?" Lily snapped.
"Ok, I'll just get my coat now," James said nervously.
They both went back to their dormitories to get on heavier clothes and then traipsed down the steps in silence.
"So, hows the girl?" Lily asked, breaking the silence.
"Who?" James, said, clearly confused.
"Would it be better if I said snobbish cow? How's your darling Rita?"
"She's not my darling no more," James answered, " I had to break it off. She is so whiney, and annoying-"
"and bratty-"
"and snobbish-"
"stupid-"
"ungrateful-"
"A snobbish cow!" they both blurted out at the same time, before laughing.
Lily leaned onto the banister for support as her body shook with loud giggles. Finally, they calmed down and reached the end of the long staircase. Lily began to go into the direction of the doors that led to outside but James went the other way.
"James, the outdoors is that way," Lily pointed in the direction she was walking "After being in this school for six years I would only HOPE you knew,"
"We are not going that way. We're going outdoors, just a different outdoors than you thought," James said innocently, beckoning for her to follow him.
"Does this involve anything against the rules?" Lily said narrowing her eyes, before running to catch up to him "It better not be another Shrieking Shack again,"
"Not another Shrieking Shack, I can assure you. Now close that little mouth of yours and follow me."
*****************************************************************
"You're so mean, James! I saw it first," Lily squealed pulling on the last Chocolate Frog in Zonko's.
"So? I got to it first,"
"But I saw it first. I said ' Hey, look, there is the last chocolate frog,' and then you ran like a little weasel with those rat eyes and that pointy nose and those stupid sharp little teeth and got it first."
"Finder's keepers," James argued.
"You didn't FIND it. Technically, I did."
"Fine,um....toucher's takers?" James suggested feebly "It doesn't matter anyway-" he paused as went to pay for it "-its mine now."
"Weasel," Lily said again, narrowing her eyes at him "You better give me a piece,"
"Hey, I am a nice guy," James said, breaking it in half.
They ate the chocolate in silence on the way to the Three Broomsticks. James had ended up bringing them to Hogwarts. He'd showed her the secret passageway he and Remus had found in second year through a statue of a one- eyed witch. He'd thought Lily would protest and put up a huge fight, but she was actually pleased with him, which he had found strange. He'd never thought she would ever approve of breaking the rules, whether it was school time or holidays. So far, the holidays didn't look like they would turn out so bleak after all.
They had a pleasant time at the Three Broomsticks. It was the weirdest thing James had ever experienced. He and Lily joking, talking, laughing-it was just something he had never thought of. Friends. They were friends. Or where they? Well, one thing that was for sure is that they weren't enemies anymore.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
As they walked through the secret passageway, Lily reflected on her afternoon. It hadn't been too bad. She and James had been civil and the taunting arguments they one had, usually seeming so offensive was more of a light banter now. She shivered slightly from the cold and was grateful when they finally left the coldness of the passageway and came into the warmth of Hogwarts. Lily never thought she was going to have a good time during this Christmas. Maybe her Christmas was going to turn out all right instead of what she had thought it was going to be.
"All right, so I'll see at dinner?" James asked her casually as they came to the staircase that led to the dormitories.
"Not so fast," Lily smirked "You said we would work on the project after we went 'outside'. This time I have the books, so it won't be a horrible repeat of last time. You just sit tight and wait here while I go get everything,"
"Lily, its Christmas vacation. No one does work on Christmas vacation," James complained, bowing his head.
"Well, we do. We do not flock like sheep to its leader. We are individuals and are different and don't care what other people think, right? Just as I thought. Now, wait here." Lily managed to say all in one breath as she rushed up the stairs two at a time.
She heard James groan, but took no notice of it. Lily quickly mumbled the password and ran to her room. She bent down and stuck her hand underneath the bed, pulling out the books. They were quite dusty even though they had only been there for a week at the most; so Lily quickly blew on it, sending the dust into corners of the room, before rushing back down to make sure James was still there.
"Great, let's go settle down in the library," Lily said eagerly, tugging none too gently on his arm.
"You are going to rip the fabric," James muttered, following her lead.
"You sound like such a girl, saying that," Lily giggled, rolling her eyes.
They entered the library and sat down, poring over books. They spent the next our perusing books, and taking notes on them, for the project. Actually, Lily was doing most of the perusing. James had gotten bored after the first fifteen minutes and was now trying to see how many pages he could move when he blew at his hardest on a book.
"Twenty two," he remarked happily, jerking Lily from her concentration "I finally broke my all-time record! Oh my G-d! Did you see that?" He asked Lily and then realizing he had just given himself away added "I mean did you see that-that-my hair is umm, different than yours? No, I mean that your hair is really messy to-no, that my book is brown-no-"
"Shut up already!" Lily exclaimed "Thank you for pointing out the obvious. No, I didn't realize my hair was MESSY-" she paused to make a face as she said that"-though you should be one to talk! Your hair looks like a bird used it to make a nest!"
"Hey!" James protested, "My hair is not that bad. Is it?"
Lily ignored him and looked over at his notebook, and saw barely a page of notes written which contrasted greatly to the six pages she had managed to fill up in her rather tiny handwriting. He had barely done a thing! Lily's anger seethed. If James thought he was going to get through the project riding on his coattails he had another thing coming.
"James, what in G-d's name were you doing?" she said slowly through gritted teeth "Because I have utterly no idea,"
James grinned weekly, obviously trying to soften her with one of his famous sweet faces, but seeing it didn't work, the smile vanished quickly.
"I was.... you...see.... well, yeah. I sorta-"
"Get to it already," Lily interrupted, clearly annoyed.
"I was reading at first but then I blew on this book and the pages moved, so I thought, whoa, lets see how many pages I could move and I sorta got caught up in it-" he paused and seeing the mad look on her face added "- I got up to twenty two! Isn't that impressive? Want to give it a go?"
"No, I don't want to give that beyond insane thing a try. I want you to try to actually CARE about this project. I want you to have a go at WORKING on it, and not actually making me do everything. I think it would be impressive if you took more than half a page of notes. I'm sick of this already and it has to stop. Now, I'm done with what I set out to do today, and clearly you are most definitely NOT. So, I'm going to go relax now and you are going to fill two bland, bleak white papers with some glorious and witty writing on these books right here-" she pointed to two books on her left "-or else."
"Lily, honestly-"
"No, I mean it. If you want me to tell Professor McGonnagol you actually had some part in this project, you have to do something! Now go to it!" she said clamping him on the back, before leaving him in his misery.
*****************************************************************
"Presents, Lily, presents!" Lily heard James exclaim.
She rolled over in her bed and moaned into her pillow "Go away, you mongrel,"
"Its Christmas! You have to get up," James said, sounding like an excited child
"Shut up! Shut up!" she said with a bit of force "Get out, you idiot,"
"Fine, but don't expect me to give you a piece of Sirius's mum's cake,"
Lily just moaned again in reply and sighed happily when she heard the door close and knew he had left. She hadn't meant to be mean, but honestly! Who cared if it was Christmas? She still wanted her sleep.
She slept for what seemed like hours but when she opened her eyes it was only a half an hour later. She hauled herself out of bed, threw on slacks and a sweatshirt, and went down to breakfast. She would have more than enough time to open her presents later.
"What'd you get?" James asked excitedly as she sat down next to him and began to pour sugar on her porridge.
She couldn't bear to look. The first year without presents from her parents. She wanted to crawl under the table and stay there staring at the floor until Christmas was over. Christmas was always the time when she bonded with her parents and never again would that happen. Lily blinked back a tear and told herself to get real. They were dead, whatever. Things like that happened all the time. It wasn't like she was the only orphan in the whole world or something.
"Dunno, didn't look yet," she made herself reply carelessly, as she gulped down large spoonfuls of porridge.
*~*~*~*~*
James gave her a look as if she had just told him that she wanted to shave her head, buy a monkey and live inside one of those portable toilets. Things like that just didn't happen! You always open your presents right when you woke up! Maybe it was a magic thing so muggle-borns didn't know this kind of thing. He shuddered to imagine a life where you allowed your presents to linger under the tree all wrapped up for hours, possibly days!
"Have you gone mad?" He exclaimed "How can you not open your presents right when you wake up? You made me finish all those dumb notes in one night! So I demand you to open your presents."
"You are soo juvenile!"
"You have no desire?"
"Oh, the temptation is killing me," Lily said sarcastically "As we speak, my body is developing a deathly illness that is totally incurable and will kill me in approximately five hours."
"Tradition," James pounded his hand down on the wooden table. Ouch! He shook his hand out and grabbed the ice from Lily's juice so a bruise wouldn't form.
"Ew!" Lily made a revolted face "That is pure disgustment! Why are so immature? Even an immature two year old wouldn't do that! Take ice from their own cup, maybe, but not from someone else's!"
James ignored her and went on "Tradition, I tell you! I can't believe you aren't the least bit interested in what you got. Come on, you are acting like an old lady!"
"Revolting, immature, disgusting, horrifying," Lily rattled off, clearly ignoring him to "I just don't understand what ignorant, under minded, poor soul would do that!"
"Even an old lady would look at her presents! You are acting like a troll. They are too stupid to know what a present is. They don't even know what Christmas is!"
"And my cousin, who is not even two yet, mind you, is more mature than you are! She has table manners unlike your inhumane nature of eating. Wolfing down food like a pure animal is what you do!"
On and on they went until breakfast was over off in their own lectures to each other. Finally James picked himself off his chair and held out a piece of the cake Sirius had sent him.
"Want some?" he interrupted Lily.
She looked down surprised "Oh, sure!"
He gave her a piece, their fights forgotten at the mention of cake.
James bit into his piece and felt like he was on heaven "Amazing!"
"Sirius is the nicest, kindest boy I have ever met," Lily declared.
"You said that me and him were rascals with bad haircuts," James intervened.
"Hey, if your mom makes cake like this, I'll call you sweet too."
************************************************
They had just finished eating and as she lay in her bed, she came to the horrific realization that she-No. It couldn't be. Lily tried to shrug it off, but it just kept coming. Those weird feelings, they just wouldn't stop. They rushed through her body, pouring out from her heart and were the reason she had barely slept in two days and that her hair was knotty and her eyes had bags the size of Oklahoma. And she couldn't stop thinking about- No she was not going to think the name. Ja-No, she wasn't going to allow herself to think that forbidden name. Jam- She was just tricking herself into thinking she actually had FEELINGS for that jerk- James. Why did she just think that? She distinctly remembered telling herself NOT to think that. Who was she to disobey herself? What a second, her conscience intervened, this is just plain insanity.
"I am not going to think of that stupid, despicable, G-d forsaken, forever forgotten name," she shouted, jumping up and down on the hat James had left in her room.
"Why are jumping up and down on my hat like a red-haired baboon?" James asked, as he stepped into her room.
Lily immediately stopped jumping and blushed. She definitely couldn't think about him in front of him! What if he could read her mind? She knew that was far from likely, but you never knew.
"I am not 'jumping' on your hat like a baboon," she retorted hotly "I am...I am...doing something to it but there is a reason. I assure you there is a glorious, magnificent, amazing................reason,"
What in G-d's name was she spewing?!
"Well, I'll leave you to it," James said uncertainly "I just came to ask you if you would like to hang out for a bit."
Hang out for a bit? Lily's heart beat wildly. Hang out with James...He asked her to hang out with him! So many times she had wished that he would- No, no, no! She didn't want to hang out with that male pig, she scolded herself.
"Yeah, sure, whatever," Lily said, carelessly, trying to suppress a smile. Why was she smiling? It better be because she was thinking of endless ways to torture the life out of James, she told herself.
"So," James asked as they settled in the Common Room "I never asked you why you were here on Christmas. This is the first year."
"Yup, it is," Lily said, hiding her sadness under the unemotional mask she put on her face.
"Well, why did you?"
"Why did I what?" Lily pretended not to know what he was talking about even though it was so utterly obvious, that even one of James idiotic old girlfriends would know what he was talking about.
"Duh," James replied "Why did you stay here for Christmas?"
"Um, well duh to you," Lily answered evenly "Why would I stay home for Christmas?"
"Relaxation, time away from school, not too mention family bonding time,"
Yeah, well how can I do that when I don't have one?"
"Don't have what?" James leaned forward curiously.
"You know...." Lily trailed off vaguely, not being able to bring herself to say it.
"Ah, no, I don't," James joked.
"I don't have a stupid dumb family!" Lily shouted all of a sudden, sounding very much like a two year old having a tantrum "They dropped dead as mice are after they are eaten by a snake who doesn't give a damn about how their messed up family will feel, Ok? Is that what you wanted?!"
Lily breathed heavily, shaking as she moved away from James touch.
"What are you talking about? You do have a family!" James answered urgently, shaking his head.
"No, I don't," Lily retorted, bright red and ready to kill him if that would shut him up "I think I would know if I did,"
"But, I just saw them last year!" he insisted "They were picking you up, and they were very much alive,"
"Well, newsflash! Not anymore, they're not! They are very much dead now. I saw them, I was at the funeral. They are now fifteen feet under ground with a ton of dirt covering them, if that is dead enough for you," Lily snapped.
"How?" James asked gently.
"How do you think?" Lily laughed strangely, with an eerie smile of sadness "Voldmort, who else? We were stepping out of Diagon Alley, during the massacre of the muggles. They were caught in it, and I wasn't. They went there for me and died. Happy?"
"No," James said sadly, putting an arm around her "I'm not. I'm sorry,"
"Well, for some reason I don't seem to care. Now, I have better things to do then to sit here, reminiscing about my dead, dead parents," Lily said defiantly, tears sliding down her face.
"Lily, stop it," James said, grabbing her.
"Get off me," Lily said through gritted teeth "I'm just a tiny bit pissed right now, okay? This will pass. I just need a little time alone. I'm not mad at you, just plain mad."
And with that she got up, and left. She closed the door to her room, and jumped onto her bed, sobbing. Well, at least one good thing came of this, she thought to herself wryly. Nothing like a confrontation about your dead parents with a boy to make you hate him like there was no tomorrow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IM DONE! YAY! PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!! I DONT EVEN KNOW IF IT WAS GOOD...I NEED YOU TO TELL ME!
Thanks to: bixxxou- that was so nice of u! I tried to read your stories but I don't know French! LOL Jade hunter- uh thanx 4 the FYI but.did u like the story? Parselmouth- im also happy I didn't give up! I love your new story! Raven-gal2002,starr, snufalufagus-thanx a bunch!, Chris Atola, Adrian Pucey, Pigs*IN*a*blanket-I LOVE U JAS! Every1 read her new fic!, Yvette(I have the same name as u!), ShroudedSpirits- a happy dance 4 me???THANKU!, Drops of Jupiter, ma'hi, AND SOMEONE- I love ur fics, thanx soo much 4 reviewing!
Christmas bells are ringing Christmas bells are ringing Christmas bells are ringing Somewhere else Not here - Christmas Bells are Ringing(that was a hard one right?) from Rent
Lily stared glumly as the rest of the girls in the dormitory were packing up there stuff for the holidays. She fingered her blanket, staring at the picture of her parents that was lying on her bed, out from its usual hiding place under her pillow. She heard the girls excited murmurs and giggles, as they talked about going home, pretending it was the hugest annoyance, when really, they had been looking forward to this time since the first day of school.
She had also once been like them. It seemed like a lifetime ago but it had been like that only just that past year. Just last year, she had been voicing the terrible hassle it was going home. Petunia was there, her father and mother heckling her about her grades, being cut off from the wizarding world. But secretly she had been keeping track of the days on her calendar, having long reveries about the fun she had at the time. And now, it would never happen again.
Lily remembered her father would always pick her up from the train station by himself pretending that the rest of the family hadn't cared that she was coming. She would go along with it, pretending it was such a huge disappointment for them not to come, and squeal with joy when she saw them there in the car. Her lips curved upwards when she remembered how happy it would make him.
"Lil, come on! You have to come stay with my family," Lynn begged, poking her head through the curtain.
Lily jumped back, surprised, and said "Lynn, no! NO! I'll be fine here. It won't be so bad,"
"Don't make me go home all by myself," Lynn implored once again, putting on her saddest, most helpless face "It's torture! Torture, I tell you! Mom and Dad invite my whole family over for a "lovely" Christmas dinner. Of course they can't ruin their night without embarrassing me so each time they ask me all these questions, take out my baby albums, and-and- I can't even go on. It's too horrible to say. I don't want to hurt anyone else with my burden." she finished, making a brave, decisive face.
"Well, than you won't want to torture me with the witnessing of such a terrible act. So I'll just stay here alone. I don't mind," Lily sighed, leaning back on her pillow.
"Well, you won't be all alone," Lynn said, changing the conversation as she leaned back so she was lying down next to Lily and made a mischievous face "JAMES will be there. Christmas, what a perfect time to set things right between you two,"
"Lynn, shut-"
"I got to go. Train's coming. Love, you miss you. Have fun and don't do anything I wouldn't do," Lynn said quickly, grabbed her bag, gave Lily a quick hug before zooming out of the room.
"Why does she always do that to me?" Lily moaned as she helped Annie and Joy with their bags.
"That's Lynn for you," Annie joked "Bye, Lil,"
"Bye guys," Lily said sadly as she left.
One thing was for sure. She was going to have one hell of a bad Christmas.
*~*~*~*
"Sirius, Remus, Peter, one of you has to stay over. Don't make me stay myself!" James moaned.
"Dude, you did this to yourself. You made the decision, remember?" Sirius snidely remarked.
"Insanity, insanity I tell you! I was not myself that day. Something possessed me. Something horrible, not of this world," James began to sit up slowly with a transfixed look of fear "It grasped my soul and took my reigns of control."
"Poor boy. What a horrible thing to do. I'll send you a piece of cake," Sirius said honestly, all of a sudden his face brightened and he looked as if he was in another world "That'll cheer you up. My mum makes the best cake, James. The best of the best. And I'm not just saying-"
"So, I've heard," James voice was muffled since he covered his head with his pillow "It'll be me, Evans, and Dumbledore. Merry damn Christmas to me,"
"Amen. Merry damn Christmas to you, too," Remus said, clapping James on the back before hauling his large suitcase out of the room "I would send you a piece of cake to, but frankly, my mom's cake suck,"
"Well, cake won't take away this permanent depression anyways," James said wearily.
"That's what you think. One whiff of my cake and it will be instant happiness. I'm not joking! This is great cake, brilliant, I tell you!" Sirius argued.
"Uhuh, great Sirius. I'll see if the cake lives up to your great descriptions when I taste it."
He walked them to the stairs, waved good-bye and watched them leave.
He walked back into the Common Room and looked around. There was an eerie quietness that almost spooked him. It had never been that quiet. It was always bustling and loud and crowded, and now he was the only person in the room. It felt pretty weird to him. James sat down on the couch and buried his head in his arms.
Why did he sign his name on that list to stay over for Hogwarts? He certainly didn't have a reason to. That possession theory he had told Sirius was beginning to sound like something he should look into because he honestly didn't know why.
*~*~*~*~*
Lily sat in the common room snuggled in a blanket with a mug of hot chocolate in her hands, reading a book. She'd never thought the Common Room could be so cozy. Sunlight streamed into the room through the immense windows and the room was brighter than it had ever been. She leaned back onto the large, plush pillow she'd brought from home and closed her eyes, feeling as if she was drinking peacefulness instead of hot chocolate. She lay there like for a while, losing track of time.
"Hey!" she heard someone shout.
She jumped up from her spot and let out a screech of surprise.
"Stop it James," she snapped, as he began to laugh "It wasn't funny. Rude, obnoxious, mean, it was. Funny, I think not."
"Your face was priceless," James said when he had finally calmed down "I mean priceless. We are talking Mona Lisa, capturing Voldmort priceless. It looked sort of this-" he said screwing his face into what looked to Lily thought was identical to a picture of a caveman she had once seen, though he obviously thought it looked like one full of shock and surprise"-except in a girl's face,"
"I am still mad at you," Lily said crossing her arms and moving away from him "If you're mean to me I won't hang out with you at all on Christmas. I mean it."
"Is that a threat or a promise?"
Lily glared at him and began to get up to leave, but he grasped her arm and said pleadingly "No, Lily, I'll be a good boy. Please play with me?"
"What does my dear boy want to do?" Lily asked sarcastically, sitting back down.
"Can we go play outside? If we play outside, I'll work on the project with you after." He said in a half-joking, half pleading tone.
"Whatever floats your boat," Lily said getting up.
"That is a really cool phrase," James commented, nodding his head slowly "I've always wanted to say it but it never seemed like there was a right time to say it."
"I can be very cool and hip when I want to be."
James laughed at her joke and Lily narrowed at her eyes "Why are you laughing? I wasn't joking!"
"Oh," James stopped suddenly, flustered "I was thinking about this thing. You see, it's a man thing. You wouldn't understand."
"Oh, male chauvinist pig time, is it?" Lily snapped.
"Ok, I'll just get my coat now," James said nervously.
They both went back to their dormitories to get on heavier clothes and then traipsed down the steps in silence.
"So, hows the girl?" Lily asked, breaking the silence.
"Who?" James, said, clearly confused.
"Would it be better if I said snobbish cow? How's your darling Rita?"
"She's not my darling no more," James answered, " I had to break it off. She is so whiney, and annoying-"
"and bratty-"
"and snobbish-"
"stupid-"
"ungrateful-"
"A snobbish cow!" they both blurted out at the same time, before laughing.
Lily leaned onto the banister for support as her body shook with loud giggles. Finally, they calmed down and reached the end of the long staircase. Lily began to go into the direction of the doors that led to outside but James went the other way.
"James, the outdoors is that way," Lily pointed in the direction she was walking "After being in this school for six years I would only HOPE you knew,"
"We are not going that way. We're going outdoors, just a different outdoors than you thought," James said innocently, beckoning for her to follow him.
"Does this involve anything against the rules?" Lily said narrowing her eyes, before running to catch up to him "It better not be another Shrieking Shack again,"
"Not another Shrieking Shack, I can assure you. Now close that little mouth of yours and follow me."
*****************************************************************
"You're so mean, James! I saw it first," Lily squealed pulling on the last Chocolate Frog in Zonko's.
"So? I got to it first,"
"But I saw it first. I said ' Hey, look, there is the last chocolate frog,' and then you ran like a little weasel with those rat eyes and that pointy nose and those stupid sharp little teeth and got it first."
"Finder's keepers," James argued.
"You didn't FIND it. Technically, I did."
"Fine,um....toucher's takers?" James suggested feebly "It doesn't matter anyway-" he paused as went to pay for it "-its mine now."
"Weasel," Lily said again, narrowing her eyes at him "You better give me a piece,"
"Hey, I am a nice guy," James said, breaking it in half.
They ate the chocolate in silence on the way to the Three Broomsticks. James had ended up bringing them to Hogwarts. He'd showed her the secret passageway he and Remus had found in second year through a statue of a one- eyed witch. He'd thought Lily would protest and put up a huge fight, but she was actually pleased with him, which he had found strange. He'd never thought she would ever approve of breaking the rules, whether it was school time or holidays. So far, the holidays didn't look like they would turn out so bleak after all.
They had a pleasant time at the Three Broomsticks. It was the weirdest thing James had ever experienced. He and Lily joking, talking, laughing-it was just something he had never thought of. Friends. They were friends. Or where they? Well, one thing that was for sure is that they weren't enemies anymore.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
As they walked through the secret passageway, Lily reflected on her afternoon. It hadn't been too bad. She and James had been civil and the taunting arguments they one had, usually seeming so offensive was more of a light banter now. She shivered slightly from the cold and was grateful when they finally left the coldness of the passageway and came into the warmth of Hogwarts. Lily never thought she was going to have a good time during this Christmas. Maybe her Christmas was going to turn out all right instead of what she had thought it was going to be.
"All right, so I'll see at dinner?" James asked her casually as they came to the staircase that led to the dormitories.
"Not so fast," Lily smirked "You said we would work on the project after we went 'outside'. This time I have the books, so it won't be a horrible repeat of last time. You just sit tight and wait here while I go get everything,"
"Lily, its Christmas vacation. No one does work on Christmas vacation," James complained, bowing his head.
"Well, we do. We do not flock like sheep to its leader. We are individuals and are different and don't care what other people think, right? Just as I thought. Now, wait here." Lily managed to say all in one breath as she rushed up the stairs two at a time.
She heard James groan, but took no notice of it. Lily quickly mumbled the password and ran to her room. She bent down and stuck her hand underneath the bed, pulling out the books. They were quite dusty even though they had only been there for a week at the most; so Lily quickly blew on it, sending the dust into corners of the room, before rushing back down to make sure James was still there.
"Great, let's go settle down in the library," Lily said eagerly, tugging none too gently on his arm.
"You are going to rip the fabric," James muttered, following her lead.
"You sound like such a girl, saying that," Lily giggled, rolling her eyes.
They entered the library and sat down, poring over books. They spent the next our perusing books, and taking notes on them, for the project. Actually, Lily was doing most of the perusing. James had gotten bored after the first fifteen minutes and was now trying to see how many pages he could move when he blew at his hardest on a book.
"Twenty two," he remarked happily, jerking Lily from her concentration "I finally broke my all-time record! Oh my G-d! Did you see that?" He asked Lily and then realizing he had just given himself away added "I mean did you see that-that-my hair is umm, different than yours? No, I mean that your hair is really messy to-no, that my book is brown-no-"
"Shut up already!" Lily exclaimed "Thank you for pointing out the obvious. No, I didn't realize my hair was MESSY-" she paused to make a face as she said that"-though you should be one to talk! Your hair looks like a bird used it to make a nest!"
"Hey!" James protested, "My hair is not that bad. Is it?"
Lily ignored him and looked over at his notebook, and saw barely a page of notes written which contrasted greatly to the six pages she had managed to fill up in her rather tiny handwriting. He had barely done a thing! Lily's anger seethed. If James thought he was going to get through the project riding on his coattails he had another thing coming.
"James, what in G-d's name were you doing?" she said slowly through gritted teeth "Because I have utterly no idea,"
James grinned weekly, obviously trying to soften her with one of his famous sweet faces, but seeing it didn't work, the smile vanished quickly.
"I was.... you...see.... well, yeah. I sorta-"
"Get to it already," Lily interrupted, clearly annoyed.
"I was reading at first but then I blew on this book and the pages moved, so I thought, whoa, lets see how many pages I could move and I sorta got caught up in it-" he paused and seeing the mad look on her face added "- I got up to twenty two! Isn't that impressive? Want to give it a go?"
"No, I don't want to give that beyond insane thing a try. I want you to try to actually CARE about this project. I want you to have a go at WORKING on it, and not actually making me do everything. I think it would be impressive if you took more than half a page of notes. I'm sick of this already and it has to stop. Now, I'm done with what I set out to do today, and clearly you are most definitely NOT. So, I'm going to go relax now and you are going to fill two bland, bleak white papers with some glorious and witty writing on these books right here-" she pointed to two books on her left "-or else."
"Lily, honestly-"
"No, I mean it. If you want me to tell Professor McGonnagol you actually had some part in this project, you have to do something! Now go to it!" she said clamping him on the back, before leaving him in his misery.
*****************************************************************
"Presents, Lily, presents!" Lily heard James exclaim.
She rolled over in her bed and moaned into her pillow "Go away, you mongrel,"
"Its Christmas! You have to get up," James said, sounding like an excited child
"Shut up! Shut up!" she said with a bit of force "Get out, you idiot,"
"Fine, but don't expect me to give you a piece of Sirius's mum's cake,"
Lily just moaned again in reply and sighed happily when she heard the door close and knew he had left. She hadn't meant to be mean, but honestly! Who cared if it was Christmas? She still wanted her sleep.
She slept for what seemed like hours but when she opened her eyes it was only a half an hour later. She hauled herself out of bed, threw on slacks and a sweatshirt, and went down to breakfast. She would have more than enough time to open her presents later.
"What'd you get?" James asked excitedly as she sat down next to him and began to pour sugar on her porridge.
She couldn't bear to look. The first year without presents from her parents. She wanted to crawl under the table and stay there staring at the floor until Christmas was over. Christmas was always the time when she bonded with her parents and never again would that happen. Lily blinked back a tear and told herself to get real. They were dead, whatever. Things like that happened all the time. It wasn't like she was the only orphan in the whole world or something.
"Dunno, didn't look yet," she made herself reply carelessly, as she gulped down large spoonfuls of porridge.
*~*~*~*~*
James gave her a look as if she had just told him that she wanted to shave her head, buy a monkey and live inside one of those portable toilets. Things like that just didn't happen! You always open your presents right when you woke up! Maybe it was a magic thing so muggle-borns didn't know this kind of thing. He shuddered to imagine a life where you allowed your presents to linger under the tree all wrapped up for hours, possibly days!
"Have you gone mad?" He exclaimed "How can you not open your presents right when you wake up? You made me finish all those dumb notes in one night! So I demand you to open your presents."
"You are soo juvenile!"
"You have no desire?"
"Oh, the temptation is killing me," Lily said sarcastically "As we speak, my body is developing a deathly illness that is totally incurable and will kill me in approximately five hours."
"Tradition," James pounded his hand down on the wooden table. Ouch! He shook his hand out and grabbed the ice from Lily's juice so a bruise wouldn't form.
"Ew!" Lily made a revolted face "That is pure disgustment! Why are so immature? Even an immature two year old wouldn't do that! Take ice from their own cup, maybe, but not from someone else's!"
James ignored her and went on "Tradition, I tell you! I can't believe you aren't the least bit interested in what you got. Come on, you are acting like an old lady!"
"Revolting, immature, disgusting, horrifying," Lily rattled off, clearly ignoring him to "I just don't understand what ignorant, under minded, poor soul would do that!"
"Even an old lady would look at her presents! You are acting like a troll. They are too stupid to know what a present is. They don't even know what Christmas is!"
"And my cousin, who is not even two yet, mind you, is more mature than you are! She has table manners unlike your inhumane nature of eating. Wolfing down food like a pure animal is what you do!"
On and on they went until breakfast was over off in their own lectures to each other. Finally James picked himself off his chair and held out a piece of the cake Sirius had sent him.
"Want some?" he interrupted Lily.
She looked down surprised "Oh, sure!"
He gave her a piece, their fights forgotten at the mention of cake.
James bit into his piece and felt like he was on heaven "Amazing!"
"Sirius is the nicest, kindest boy I have ever met," Lily declared.
"You said that me and him were rascals with bad haircuts," James intervened.
"Hey, if your mom makes cake like this, I'll call you sweet too."
************************************************
They had just finished eating and as she lay in her bed, she came to the horrific realization that she-No. It couldn't be. Lily tried to shrug it off, but it just kept coming. Those weird feelings, they just wouldn't stop. They rushed through her body, pouring out from her heart and were the reason she had barely slept in two days and that her hair was knotty and her eyes had bags the size of Oklahoma. And she couldn't stop thinking about- No she was not going to think the name. Ja-No, she wasn't going to allow herself to think that forbidden name. Jam- She was just tricking herself into thinking she actually had FEELINGS for that jerk- James. Why did she just think that? She distinctly remembered telling herself NOT to think that. Who was she to disobey herself? What a second, her conscience intervened, this is just plain insanity.
"I am not going to think of that stupid, despicable, G-d forsaken, forever forgotten name," she shouted, jumping up and down on the hat James had left in her room.
"Why are jumping up and down on my hat like a red-haired baboon?" James asked, as he stepped into her room.
Lily immediately stopped jumping and blushed. She definitely couldn't think about him in front of him! What if he could read her mind? She knew that was far from likely, but you never knew.
"I am not 'jumping' on your hat like a baboon," she retorted hotly "I am...I am...doing something to it but there is a reason. I assure you there is a glorious, magnificent, amazing................reason,"
What in G-d's name was she spewing?!
"Well, I'll leave you to it," James said uncertainly "I just came to ask you if you would like to hang out for a bit."
Hang out for a bit? Lily's heart beat wildly. Hang out with James...He asked her to hang out with him! So many times she had wished that he would- No, no, no! She didn't want to hang out with that male pig, she scolded herself.
"Yeah, sure, whatever," Lily said, carelessly, trying to suppress a smile. Why was she smiling? It better be because she was thinking of endless ways to torture the life out of James, she told herself.
"So," James asked as they settled in the Common Room "I never asked you why you were here on Christmas. This is the first year."
"Yup, it is," Lily said, hiding her sadness under the unemotional mask she put on her face.
"Well, why did you?"
"Why did I what?" Lily pretended not to know what he was talking about even though it was so utterly obvious, that even one of James idiotic old girlfriends would know what he was talking about.
"Duh," James replied "Why did you stay here for Christmas?"
"Um, well duh to you," Lily answered evenly "Why would I stay home for Christmas?"
"Relaxation, time away from school, not too mention family bonding time,"
Yeah, well how can I do that when I don't have one?"
"Don't have what?" James leaned forward curiously.
"You know...." Lily trailed off vaguely, not being able to bring herself to say it.
"Ah, no, I don't," James joked.
"I don't have a stupid dumb family!" Lily shouted all of a sudden, sounding very much like a two year old having a tantrum "They dropped dead as mice are after they are eaten by a snake who doesn't give a damn about how their messed up family will feel, Ok? Is that what you wanted?!"
Lily breathed heavily, shaking as she moved away from James touch.
"What are you talking about? You do have a family!" James answered urgently, shaking his head.
"No, I don't," Lily retorted, bright red and ready to kill him if that would shut him up "I think I would know if I did,"
"But, I just saw them last year!" he insisted "They were picking you up, and they were very much alive,"
"Well, newsflash! Not anymore, they're not! They are very much dead now. I saw them, I was at the funeral. They are now fifteen feet under ground with a ton of dirt covering them, if that is dead enough for you," Lily snapped.
"How?" James asked gently.
"How do you think?" Lily laughed strangely, with an eerie smile of sadness "Voldmort, who else? We were stepping out of Diagon Alley, during the massacre of the muggles. They were caught in it, and I wasn't. They went there for me and died. Happy?"
"No," James said sadly, putting an arm around her "I'm not. I'm sorry,"
"Well, for some reason I don't seem to care. Now, I have better things to do then to sit here, reminiscing about my dead, dead parents," Lily said defiantly, tears sliding down her face.
"Lily, stop it," James said, grabbing her.
"Get off me," Lily said through gritted teeth "I'm just a tiny bit pissed right now, okay? This will pass. I just need a little time alone. I'm not mad at you, just plain mad."
And with that she got up, and left. She closed the door to her room, and jumped onto her bed, sobbing. Well, at least one good thing came of this, she thought to herself wryly. Nothing like a confrontation about your dead parents with a boy to make you hate him like there was no tomorrow.
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IM DONE! YAY! PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!! I DONT EVEN KNOW IF IT WAS GOOD...I NEED YOU TO TELL ME!
Thanks to: bixxxou- that was so nice of u! I tried to read your stories but I don't know French! LOL Jade hunter- uh thanx 4 the FYI but.did u like the story? Parselmouth- im also happy I didn't give up! I love your new story! Raven-gal2002,starr, snufalufagus-thanx a bunch!, Chris Atola, Adrian Pucey, Pigs*IN*a*blanket-I LOVE U JAS! Every1 read her new fic!, Yvette(I have the same name as u!), ShroudedSpirits- a happy dance 4 me???THANKU!, Drops of Jupiter, ma'hi, AND SOMEONE- I love ur fics, thanx soo much 4 reviewing!