Dedicated to Pigs*In*A*blanket who is better update her stories now!
Chapter 9
"Sometimes
I wish I was brave
I wish I was stronger
I wish I could feel no pain
I wish I was young
I wish I was shy
I wish I was honest
I wish I was you not I
'Cause
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so careless
So lost, confused, just mad
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over."
I feel so- Box Car Racer-really brilliant song!
James just didn't understand sometimes. Now you may be thinking, well that was rather vague what do you mean by he didn't understand? Or you may be in a more aggressive mood and be thinking- Good Lord, I don't understand things sometimes either, could you be a tad more specific and tell us what he didn't understand because from that sentence we aren't getting too much! But the truth was plainly that sometimes James didn't understand things in general. He didn't understand why water turned to ice when put in cold tempature, or when heated, ice would turn into water- it just did. He didn't understand why exactly someone would waste their time or life becoming a Professor to teach a bunch of brats, but obviously some people did find reasons or there would not be a Hogwarts today.
However, this time James didn't understand something specific: girls. He had always thought he had; if he hadn't then why had he been so popular with them? He'd always known exactly what compliment to say to a girl to make them feel pretty- and G-d knows, that's all it seemed girls wanted- they were quite vain, he'd always thought. But when Lily ran to her dormitory, crying, he came to the abrupt realization that girls were actually pretty foreign to him. They lied all the time but then accused guys of lying after all, it had been pretty clear that Lily had gotten mad at him for some unknown reason (he'd only said the things he thought would make her feel better) but she had lied to him and said she wasn't. And girls were always so uptight- you said one little thing and it could send them into hysterics. He just didn't understand and he was begining to wonder if he ever would, or if it was strange that he was so bothered about it.
When school had continued after Christmas holidays had ended, he had asked Sirius if he understood girls and Sirius had replied:
"For Christ's sakes, James! I'm not insane! The only way to understand a girl is to be one of them- insane. We as men are not supposed to try to understand them. We are supposed to thank G-d for saving our asses when he made us guys because if we were girls we would be insane, horrible people! I mean look at them. Always giggling, giggling giggling about the stupidest thing or crying for dumb reasons like if their new sweater was ripped and there was no way to fix it or if they lost a bit of money. Do you want that to happen to you? I should hope not! Now keep your head out of that stuff- it is just not for us,"
Judging by Sirius's answer he was beginning to wonder if it was the other way around and that it was guys who were insane. But then again, you just couldn't go by Sirius.
He'd tried to make whatever went wrong with him and Lily right, but she just wouldn't listen! He knew she was avoiding him, but he just didn't understand why, and every time he tried to ask she was busy. Before he could even ask what exactly she was so busy with, she was gone! This was even worse, it seemed to him, then the days when he had hated Lily. Why couldn't everything be simple again? James hated when things got like this but somehow, it always did.
*!*!*!*!*!*!*
"G-d, he is so thick headed!" Lynn fumed as Lily escaped from James once again "I mean it is sooo obvious you are trying to avoid him. Can't he take a hint and make it easier on both of you?"
"I know," Lily agreed, flipping her hair flamboyantly "He doesn't even know why I'm mad at him. Why is he so inhumanely trollish sometimes? Do I have to explain everything to him? And I have to work with him tomorrow night. Sirius finally cornered me and set up a meeting tomorrow to work on the pro side. I hate this stupid debate thing,"
Joy sighed " Men! Can't live with them, ca-"
" Oh yes we can live with out them!" Lily cut in "Or at least we can live without certain men, such as the one that I have been trying to live without but he just won't allow it,"
Annie nodded and said "He really should apoligize already. Its only right,"
"Whatever," Lily rolled her eyes "Honestly, its not like I CARE,"
Or so she told herself. 'No, she answered to herself (A/n: honestly the self contradictions are just getting ridiculous. sorry for putting you all through this. It is just cruel of me) 'She was NOT just 'telling' herself anything. She really didn't care. Why didn't her subconcious just get the picture already and stop it with the consistent murmers of untrue thoughts? Get a clue already, she shouted back inside her mind. It was becoming like a battle field in there!
Trying to ignore the inner turmoil, she sat down on one of the lavish couches and began to reorganize her book bag, even though it really didn't need reorganization. Every paper was sitting in side a folder, which was categorized as well as color-coded. She cursed the person who gave her the obsessive neatness gene because it was horrible trying to satisfy to the extent that it wanted everything to look like.
"You know, for some reason I haven't been able to get a hold of you for two weeks. Weird isn't it? We are in the same house and all the same classes but for some reason we just haven't been able to have a nice chat. Or even a quick banter. Or even a two liner. Sort of makes a guy think that they were being avoided, you know?" Lily sighed as James voice floated gently into her small ears, tiny in fact, and she squirmed uneasily in her chair.
"Well, it takes two to have a conversation, doesn't it?" She said lightly despite the rage gurgling inside of her like horrible indigestion.
"It only takes one to avoid," James pressed on.
"It only takes two to be in a fight."
"Ha, I knew you were mad at me! You just admitted it right there, so don't deny it," James exclaimed, looking as if he had made a brilliant discovery
"G-d, if you are so insistent on knowing, maybe I am avoiding you a bit, ok?" Lily blurted out, jumping up for a second, which caused her book bag to fall. All of the time and effort that went into the organization Lily had so attentively attained was ruined. She glared at James, her green eyes almost red from anger "Look what you did!" *~*~*~*
As usual they went blaming things on other people. It was like their main goal in life other than acting dainty and fragile so that they would break in a second. James was really beginning to hate this other sex a lot which was weird because it used to be one of his favorite things.
"I didn't do anything!" James exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air madly "There you go blaming me again! You're mad at me for asking about your parents, even though you said you weren't. Jeez, Lily, I'm sorry and all, but you can't kill someone for asking. All I did was ask and there you go hating me all over again and avoiding me which is even worse than when you were mean to me,"
He said that all in one breath, and panted like a kleptomaniac when he finally finished. Lily stared over at him again, not with angry eyes this time, but with confused, searching ones, like she was digging into his soul. It was James's turn to be uncomfortable and he did it with quite flair, squirming and averting his eyes, mumbling words of nonsense under his breath. He hated when people stared at him like that. Like they knew something about himself that he didn't.
Finally she opened her mouth and spoke "You just don't see to understand anything. Why didn't you know in the first place? And the whole day you just badgered me on and on and when I finally tell you, you say the absolute things that you are not supposed to say under any circumstances. Like if they wrote a book called "Things you should never say" what you said would be in bold, italicized, underlined, and on the first page,"
"Yea, well, if they wrote down everything you say to me, it would be in a book called "Most Obnoxious Sayings," James sputtered, clenching his fists angrily.
Lily stared him for a second, with bemused eyes this time before remarking "I hope you know that was very lame. If I was going to write a book called "Lame Comebacks" that one would be on the first page,"
James laughed, opening his hands slowly and placing them on his lap "I give up. Look, can we just put this behind us? I just want to be friends again."
Lily studied him, from the top of his unruly hair to the bottom of the muddy soles of his brown worn out shoes that he had gotten in the beginning of last year. When he saw her stare at them he tried to move them somewhere so she couldn't see them. G-d, he really did need to get new shoes. But suddenly, her eyes popped back up to his face and he forgot about them.
*~*~*~*~*~*
She wondered why he cared so much. Lily thought that he didn't care about anything. He always seemed so free, so unattached moving from thing to thing or, she thought wryly girl to girl. She wanted be friends again, though. Lily would never had thought it, but it was actually fun being friends with James Potter. He was interesting.
"Whatever," she muttered in a careless tone, to hide her happiness "If you care that much, fine."
James smiled then, a clumsy, awkward smile, yet she had never seen him look so genuine. She smiled back curving her lips just the slightest, but the smile seemed ever so much bigger from the way her eyes shone. He moved just the tiniest bit closer, and she adjusted her pose so that her arm was just centimeters away from his body. Lily didn't know why and even though her mind was sending her huge warning signals, reprimanding her to the fullest, reminding her about all those girls he'd dumped, she did it anyway. His hand moved closer to hers, covering the light that had shone between them from the sunset reflecting on the window, and she moved her hand from behind her hair to her lap, practically signaling him.
G-d, her mind screamed- no, it didn't scream, it was beyond that, it more or less trembled with anger and began to refer her to some mental asylums- who did she think she was? One of those busty blondes, with half a brain and a suitcase full of makeup? Well, if she did, she was quite mistaken. Lily only owned about one lipstick, which was a present from her parents when she was fourteen and they had been quite mistaken, thinking that she was going to be a normal teenager. Plus her hair was anything but blonde, and sadly, G-d hadn't given her too much to flaunt, if you know what that meant. Still, she was acting like one of those prostitutes, her mind bellowed to her. She had one last chance to be sane, get up and free herself from this insanity and corruption. But Lily didn't take it.
Instead she moved her hand from her lap, so that it was touching- yes, voluntarily touching!- the tips of his fingers, and bent her face down, shyly. James looked at her hands, staring at them for what seemed like hours even though it was just mere moments, and then slowly looked up at her face, with questioning eyes. Lily tried to swallow but her mouth was too dry, and try as she might to avert her eyes from him, they seemed to have developed minds of their own, and wouldn't leave his eyes. His amazing eyes, light brown, with deep dark green flecs that seemed to form a swirling pattern, weaving you into a powerful spell to compelling to break. But just as he moved his hand on top of hers, they heard a loud exclaim.
"James," Sirius shouted, bounding over and jumping onto the couch next to Lily.
Lily and James broke apart quickly. She folded her legs and arms, panting slightly, her heart beating so fast she felt like she was going into a cardiac arrest. And it was so loud, too. Not a bomp, bomp, bomp any more but a BAM, BAM, BAM. She thanked the lord for Sirius coming then. Lily never realized how caught up in a moment you could get. She could have kissed him, and in front of all those people! What a scandal it would have been. Lily reminded herself of all those girls he'd dumped, warning herself not to let herself fall into that trap.
"I thought we agreed to meet in the library for the project? Lily, you out of all people! I expected more of you and instead, I was the only one to show up,"
"Sorry," Lily laughed weakly "I'll go get the books."
So, they went to the library and worked for a few hours poring over books, making big advances in the project. Lily and James acted courteous to each other, like nothing had happened. And in a way, nothing had. Maybe to Lily, but not to James, she thought. After all, he'd been with so many girls, almost touching a girls hand probably meant nothing to him. She didn't realize how wrong she was.
*~*~*~*
Later after they had finished the project, and James was in his bed, he touched his hand, thinking of the pale, soft one that had almost been in his. He couldn't stop thinking about her hands. He'd never thought someone could have perfect hands and what an affect they could have on him. They were small and wispy, with no blemishes or scratches. Her nails were a pinkish tone, with a bit of pearly whites at the end. All nails would sound like that if you described them, but hers were even richer in color and so perfectly shaped.
James couldn't believe something had almost happened. Could had it touched her way it touched him? It had been such a simple un-noticing gesture, yet to him it was so thought provoking and deep. But certainly, she couldn't have thought of it the same way. James didn't think that anyone would remember something that really was nothing. But he did even though he didn't know why he did. Surely she wasn't in her bed, thinking of something that didn't happen. Lily probably had gone to sleep the second her head hit the pillow. He too didn't realize how wrong he was.
For Lily was also in her bed, her eyes staring at the wall, but she was really staring into her mind playing the scene over and over. His smile was burnt into her mind as sweet and gentle as it had been. Lily imagined her lips touching lips that smiled like that and wondered what it would feel like. She blushed at that thought and tried to make herself stop thinking that. Was it possible that a mind could develop a mind of its own? It certainly seemed like hers did because it wouldn't listen to her commands at all.
In a way she wished that moment had happened, but she felt a lot of relief from the fact that she didn't. Kissing brought on to many unknowing questions and she liked to be sure of things. James wouldn't want to go out with her, and if he did, she would only be another one of those girls, the ones she hated for being so stupid to think that he would like them. Lily told herself over and over that she didn't like him, but like she said, her mind had a mind and wouldn't listen. So she succumbed, and allowed it to think those thoughts, thoughts that made her blush as well as angered her for thinking them.
And as the pale, wavering moon shone brightly, sending gentle light into the world, two people lay in bed thinking of what could have been, and wondering what it would have been like.
A/n: Wow, so when I was writing the part when Lily forgave James, I was so NOT planning to make anything like that happened. So when I read this over I was like, huh, when did I write that?? W/e, I'm hoping you like it so please please pleassseee review! I am so desperate for reviews! I love them! I want to write poems about them and how they light up my soul and color my eyes and warm my toes or something like that-lol, you get the picture!
THANX TO:
Elsie: wow, im glad u liked my story! I think your review sorta got messed up though because you sorta sent me the same ten reviews-lol ChristyTomboy: aww, your so nice to me! I'm glad you like old clichés and your story is really cool! Krazy Kittie, Aw How Kuutie: interesting penname. Very original- I updated so now its ur turn! Omni: thanx so much for putting me on ur faves! And my mission in life is now complete. I am a Gone With the Wind missionary- that is such an amazing book!
Parselmouth: Wow, you don't know how excited I was when I saw you updated your story, and that was the best chapter! I'm glad you liked the way I wrote the chap. (
Bixxou: I'm so happy I made you laugh! That is my other goal in life.
Pigs*In*A*blanket: every1 who reads my story check out the ficlet that I made her write-its on my favs and it rocks. Then read her other stories and convince her to update! Thanx 4 reviewing and convincing me to post the last chapter!
Shrouded Spirits: did you decide on the randomly weird thing yet? See, I continued!
Buggy-such: thanx a bunch!
Starborn: your fic isn't boring! Thanx for reviewing!
Lily potter: I'm also glad- its about time already!
Blue-strawberry52: glad you thought it was good
Ok, I'm done now, so please review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chapter 9
"Sometimes
I wish I was brave
I wish I was stronger
I wish I could feel no pain
I wish I was young
I wish I was shy
I wish I was honest
I wish I was you not I
'Cause
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so careless
So lost, confused, just mad
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over."
I feel so- Box Car Racer-really brilliant song!
James just didn't understand sometimes. Now you may be thinking, well that was rather vague what do you mean by he didn't understand? Or you may be in a more aggressive mood and be thinking- Good Lord, I don't understand things sometimes either, could you be a tad more specific and tell us what he didn't understand because from that sentence we aren't getting too much! But the truth was plainly that sometimes James didn't understand things in general. He didn't understand why water turned to ice when put in cold tempature, or when heated, ice would turn into water- it just did. He didn't understand why exactly someone would waste their time or life becoming a Professor to teach a bunch of brats, but obviously some people did find reasons or there would not be a Hogwarts today.
However, this time James didn't understand something specific: girls. He had always thought he had; if he hadn't then why had he been so popular with them? He'd always known exactly what compliment to say to a girl to make them feel pretty- and G-d knows, that's all it seemed girls wanted- they were quite vain, he'd always thought. But when Lily ran to her dormitory, crying, he came to the abrupt realization that girls were actually pretty foreign to him. They lied all the time but then accused guys of lying after all, it had been pretty clear that Lily had gotten mad at him for some unknown reason (he'd only said the things he thought would make her feel better) but she had lied to him and said she wasn't. And girls were always so uptight- you said one little thing and it could send them into hysterics. He just didn't understand and he was begining to wonder if he ever would, or if it was strange that he was so bothered about it.
When school had continued after Christmas holidays had ended, he had asked Sirius if he understood girls and Sirius had replied:
"For Christ's sakes, James! I'm not insane! The only way to understand a girl is to be one of them- insane. We as men are not supposed to try to understand them. We are supposed to thank G-d for saving our asses when he made us guys because if we were girls we would be insane, horrible people! I mean look at them. Always giggling, giggling giggling about the stupidest thing or crying for dumb reasons like if their new sweater was ripped and there was no way to fix it or if they lost a bit of money. Do you want that to happen to you? I should hope not! Now keep your head out of that stuff- it is just not for us,"
Judging by Sirius's answer he was beginning to wonder if it was the other way around and that it was guys who were insane. But then again, you just couldn't go by Sirius.
He'd tried to make whatever went wrong with him and Lily right, but she just wouldn't listen! He knew she was avoiding him, but he just didn't understand why, and every time he tried to ask she was busy. Before he could even ask what exactly she was so busy with, she was gone! This was even worse, it seemed to him, then the days when he had hated Lily. Why couldn't everything be simple again? James hated when things got like this but somehow, it always did.
*!*!*!*!*!*!*
"G-d, he is so thick headed!" Lynn fumed as Lily escaped from James once again "I mean it is sooo obvious you are trying to avoid him. Can't he take a hint and make it easier on both of you?"
"I know," Lily agreed, flipping her hair flamboyantly "He doesn't even know why I'm mad at him. Why is he so inhumanely trollish sometimes? Do I have to explain everything to him? And I have to work with him tomorrow night. Sirius finally cornered me and set up a meeting tomorrow to work on the pro side. I hate this stupid debate thing,"
Joy sighed " Men! Can't live with them, ca-"
" Oh yes we can live with out them!" Lily cut in "Or at least we can live without certain men, such as the one that I have been trying to live without but he just won't allow it,"
Annie nodded and said "He really should apoligize already. Its only right,"
"Whatever," Lily rolled her eyes "Honestly, its not like I CARE,"
Or so she told herself. 'No, she answered to herself (A/n: honestly the self contradictions are just getting ridiculous. sorry for putting you all through this. It is just cruel of me) 'She was NOT just 'telling' herself anything. She really didn't care. Why didn't her subconcious just get the picture already and stop it with the consistent murmers of untrue thoughts? Get a clue already, she shouted back inside her mind. It was becoming like a battle field in there!
Trying to ignore the inner turmoil, she sat down on one of the lavish couches and began to reorganize her book bag, even though it really didn't need reorganization. Every paper was sitting in side a folder, which was categorized as well as color-coded. She cursed the person who gave her the obsessive neatness gene because it was horrible trying to satisfy to the extent that it wanted everything to look like.
"You know, for some reason I haven't been able to get a hold of you for two weeks. Weird isn't it? We are in the same house and all the same classes but for some reason we just haven't been able to have a nice chat. Or even a quick banter. Or even a two liner. Sort of makes a guy think that they were being avoided, you know?" Lily sighed as James voice floated gently into her small ears, tiny in fact, and she squirmed uneasily in her chair.
"Well, it takes two to have a conversation, doesn't it?" She said lightly despite the rage gurgling inside of her like horrible indigestion.
"It only takes one to avoid," James pressed on.
"It only takes two to be in a fight."
"Ha, I knew you were mad at me! You just admitted it right there, so don't deny it," James exclaimed, looking as if he had made a brilliant discovery
"G-d, if you are so insistent on knowing, maybe I am avoiding you a bit, ok?" Lily blurted out, jumping up for a second, which caused her book bag to fall. All of the time and effort that went into the organization Lily had so attentively attained was ruined. She glared at James, her green eyes almost red from anger "Look what you did!" *~*~*~*
As usual they went blaming things on other people. It was like their main goal in life other than acting dainty and fragile so that they would break in a second. James was really beginning to hate this other sex a lot which was weird because it used to be one of his favorite things.
"I didn't do anything!" James exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air madly "There you go blaming me again! You're mad at me for asking about your parents, even though you said you weren't. Jeez, Lily, I'm sorry and all, but you can't kill someone for asking. All I did was ask and there you go hating me all over again and avoiding me which is even worse than when you were mean to me,"
He said that all in one breath, and panted like a kleptomaniac when he finally finished. Lily stared over at him again, not with angry eyes this time, but with confused, searching ones, like she was digging into his soul. It was James's turn to be uncomfortable and he did it with quite flair, squirming and averting his eyes, mumbling words of nonsense under his breath. He hated when people stared at him like that. Like they knew something about himself that he didn't.
Finally she opened her mouth and spoke "You just don't see to understand anything. Why didn't you know in the first place? And the whole day you just badgered me on and on and when I finally tell you, you say the absolute things that you are not supposed to say under any circumstances. Like if they wrote a book called "Things you should never say" what you said would be in bold, italicized, underlined, and on the first page,"
"Yea, well, if they wrote down everything you say to me, it would be in a book called "Most Obnoxious Sayings," James sputtered, clenching his fists angrily.
Lily stared him for a second, with bemused eyes this time before remarking "I hope you know that was very lame. If I was going to write a book called "Lame Comebacks" that one would be on the first page,"
James laughed, opening his hands slowly and placing them on his lap "I give up. Look, can we just put this behind us? I just want to be friends again."
Lily studied him, from the top of his unruly hair to the bottom of the muddy soles of his brown worn out shoes that he had gotten in the beginning of last year. When he saw her stare at them he tried to move them somewhere so she couldn't see them. G-d, he really did need to get new shoes. But suddenly, her eyes popped back up to his face and he forgot about them.
*~*~*~*~*~*
She wondered why he cared so much. Lily thought that he didn't care about anything. He always seemed so free, so unattached moving from thing to thing or, she thought wryly girl to girl. She wanted be friends again, though. Lily would never had thought it, but it was actually fun being friends with James Potter. He was interesting.
"Whatever," she muttered in a careless tone, to hide her happiness "If you care that much, fine."
James smiled then, a clumsy, awkward smile, yet she had never seen him look so genuine. She smiled back curving her lips just the slightest, but the smile seemed ever so much bigger from the way her eyes shone. He moved just the tiniest bit closer, and she adjusted her pose so that her arm was just centimeters away from his body. Lily didn't know why and even though her mind was sending her huge warning signals, reprimanding her to the fullest, reminding her about all those girls he'd dumped, she did it anyway. His hand moved closer to hers, covering the light that had shone between them from the sunset reflecting on the window, and she moved her hand from behind her hair to her lap, practically signaling him.
G-d, her mind screamed- no, it didn't scream, it was beyond that, it more or less trembled with anger and began to refer her to some mental asylums- who did she think she was? One of those busty blondes, with half a brain and a suitcase full of makeup? Well, if she did, she was quite mistaken. Lily only owned about one lipstick, which was a present from her parents when she was fourteen and they had been quite mistaken, thinking that she was going to be a normal teenager. Plus her hair was anything but blonde, and sadly, G-d hadn't given her too much to flaunt, if you know what that meant. Still, she was acting like one of those prostitutes, her mind bellowed to her. She had one last chance to be sane, get up and free herself from this insanity and corruption. But Lily didn't take it.
Instead she moved her hand from her lap, so that it was touching- yes, voluntarily touching!- the tips of his fingers, and bent her face down, shyly. James looked at her hands, staring at them for what seemed like hours even though it was just mere moments, and then slowly looked up at her face, with questioning eyes. Lily tried to swallow but her mouth was too dry, and try as she might to avert her eyes from him, they seemed to have developed minds of their own, and wouldn't leave his eyes. His amazing eyes, light brown, with deep dark green flecs that seemed to form a swirling pattern, weaving you into a powerful spell to compelling to break. But just as he moved his hand on top of hers, they heard a loud exclaim.
"James," Sirius shouted, bounding over and jumping onto the couch next to Lily.
Lily and James broke apart quickly. She folded her legs and arms, panting slightly, her heart beating so fast she felt like she was going into a cardiac arrest. And it was so loud, too. Not a bomp, bomp, bomp any more but a BAM, BAM, BAM. She thanked the lord for Sirius coming then. Lily never realized how caught up in a moment you could get. She could have kissed him, and in front of all those people! What a scandal it would have been. Lily reminded herself of all those girls he'd dumped, warning herself not to let herself fall into that trap.
"I thought we agreed to meet in the library for the project? Lily, you out of all people! I expected more of you and instead, I was the only one to show up,"
"Sorry," Lily laughed weakly "I'll go get the books."
So, they went to the library and worked for a few hours poring over books, making big advances in the project. Lily and James acted courteous to each other, like nothing had happened. And in a way, nothing had. Maybe to Lily, but not to James, she thought. After all, he'd been with so many girls, almost touching a girls hand probably meant nothing to him. She didn't realize how wrong she was.
*~*~*~*
Later after they had finished the project, and James was in his bed, he touched his hand, thinking of the pale, soft one that had almost been in his. He couldn't stop thinking about her hands. He'd never thought someone could have perfect hands and what an affect they could have on him. They were small and wispy, with no blemishes or scratches. Her nails were a pinkish tone, with a bit of pearly whites at the end. All nails would sound like that if you described them, but hers were even richer in color and so perfectly shaped.
James couldn't believe something had almost happened. Could had it touched her way it touched him? It had been such a simple un-noticing gesture, yet to him it was so thought provoking and deep. But certainly, she couldn't have thought of it the same way. James didn't think that anyone would remember something that really was nothing. But he did even though he didn't know why he did. Surely she wasn't in her bed, thinking of something that didn't happen. Lily probably had gone to sleep the second her head hit the pillow. He too didn't realize how wrong he was.
For Lily was also in her bed, her eyes staring at the wall, but she was really staring into her mind playing the scene over and over. His smile was burnt into her mind as sweet and gentle as it had been. Lily imagined her lips touching lips that smiled like that and wondered what it would feel like. She blushed at that thought and tried to make herself stop thinking that. Was it possible that a mind could develop a mind of its own? It certainly seemed like hers did because it wouldn't listen to her commands at all.
In a way she wished that moment had happened, but she felt a lot of relief from the fact that she didn't. Kissing brought on to many unknowing questions and she liked to be sure of things. James wouldn't want to go out with her, and if he did, she would only be another one of those girls, the ones she hated for being so stupid to think that he would like them. Lily told herself over and over that she didn't like him, but like she said, her mind had a mind and wouldn't listen. So she succumbed, and allowed it to think those thoughts, thoughts that made her blush as well as angered her for thinking them.
And as the pale, wavering moon shone brightly, sending gentle light into the world, two people lay in bed thinking of what could have been, and wondering what it would have been like.
A/n: Wow, so when I was writing the part when Lily forgave James, I was so NOT planning to make anything like that happened. So when I read this over I was like, huh, when did I write that?? W/e, I'm hoping you like it so please please pleassseee review! I am so desperate for reviews! I love them! I want to write poems about them and how they light up my soul and color my eyes and warm my toes or something like that-lol, you get the picture!
THANX TO:
Elsie: wow, im glad u liked my story! I think your review sorta got messed up though because you sorta sent me the same ten reviews-lol ChristyTomboy: aww, your so nice to me! I'm glad you like old clichés and your story is really cool! Krazy Kittie, Aw How Kuutie: interesting penname. Very original- I updated so now its ur turn! Omni: thanx so much for putting me on ur faves! And my mission in life is now complete. I am a Gone With the Wind missionary- that is such an amazing book!
Parselmouth: Wow, you don't know how excited I was when I saw you updated your story, and that was the best chapter! I'm glad you liked the way I wrote the chap. (
Bixxou: I'm so happy I made you laugh! That is my other goal in life.
Pigs*In*A*blanket: every1 who reads my story check out the ficlet that I made her write-its on my favs and it rocks. Then read her other stories and convince her to update! Thanx 4 reviewing and convincing me to post the last chapter!
Shrouded Spirits: did you decide on the randomly weird thing yet? See, I continued!
Buggy-such: thanx a bunch!
Starborn: your fic isn't boring! Thanx for reviewing!
Lily potter: I'm also glad- its about time already!
Blue-strawberry52: glad you thought it was good
Ok, I'm done now, so please review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!