A/n: I feel so dumb! I found the best Christmas song that I should have
used for my other chapter- If anyone wants to do Christmas fic, you should
use St. Patrick's Day by John Mayor. It's soooo good because all of his
songs are good! SORRY FOR THE LONGETIVITY!!
Back to you
It always comes around
Back to you
I tried to forget you
I tried to stay away
But it's too late I'm so good at forgetting
And I quit ever game I play
But forgive me, love
I can't turn and walk away
-Love Song for No one- John Mayor
"Lynn, you do know this must be the stupidest thing you've ever made us do?" Lily whispered, shielding the top of her head with a branch from the worn-out oak tree that stood in front of her.
"You don't understand," Lynn whispered back earnestly, "I saw him smile at Belinda. Not sweet-bookworm-dear Belinda but the bitch-slut-whore-of-the- devil Belinda,"
"Peter is just a nice person. He didn't mean anything by it," Joy said, pulling her foot out of a puddle of mud "These were my favorite pair of shoes, Lynn."
"Oh my G-d!" Lynn began to shout, but Lily quickly covered her mouth with her hand so it was muffled.
"Honestly, don't sabotage your own escapade, Lynn,"
"He's talking to Marticia now! Her last boyfriend only lasted three months. She definetely wants him,"
"He's talked to lots of girls before. This is such stupidity. I'm out of it," Annie declared, brushing her robes off as she stepped out of the bush she'd been hiding in "I'll be in the library,"
Lily, Joy, and Annie had been forced by Lynn to help her catch Peter 'in the act.' Convinced that he was cheating on her, nothing Lily or the others would console her. So they had been skulking behind plants and poles for at least an hour, following his every move and motion. It had been a horror of an afternoon.
Lily stepped out from behind the tree, following Annie's suit and said "No, Lynn. I'm gone. You know I love you desperately and dream of frolicking with you underneath the sun, but this is too much. Sorry, sweetums. Peter is not fricken cheating on you!"
"Lily likes Lynn? Cool!" Lily heard a voice next to her. She turned quickly and saw Sirius there grinning madly, no doubt with putrid images in his mind.
"Come on, Sirius. Even you aren't that full of stupidity. I hope. I was joking,"
"Damn it!" Sirius exclaimed, shaking his head angrily.
Lily just rolled her eyes and continued inside, shivering slightly from the cold. She was such a dolt, not bringing her jacket when it was January. Even Sirius had his jacket on. Lily had just been so preoccupied when she had come down to spy on Peter. All she could think about for the past day was-no, not that!
She didn't care about him, she assured herself. He was a stupid little halfwit with crooked glasses and messy hair. Messy hair that she would like to run her fingers through, and then fix it up, her other side intervened. Lily made a sound that was between a groan and a moan, and tugged at her hair, trying to claw her way into her brain so she could pull out the part of her brain that kept injecting James into her thoughts.
"You all right?" she heard James say.
Aargh! He was always around! It was like her brain manisfested him to appear where ever she went, and it was horrible and wonderful. Half of her wanted to push him away and snub him terribly. The other half however was dying to get its hands on that messy hair of his and look into his sweet eyes and-wow, she interjected, she sounded like a huge dope.
"Hellooo...anyone there?" James asked.
"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be fine? You think I don't look fine? Why wouldn't I look fine? Why wouldn't you think I wasn't fine? Why wouldn't you...wouldn't..." Lily's voice drifted off into the wind.
"OK. You're fine. I'll make sure never to ask that again. I'm such a moron. Why would I ask such a disgusting question?" James said sarcastically.
"Sorry," Lily offered him a half-smile, and the stupid part of her reached out and touched him lightly on his arm "I'm just sorta wired,"
"Just don't do that again. I mean, if I can't be nice and I can't be mean, then I mean, what can I be?"
"You're never nice to me," Lily answered back. Last year this would have been said in a taunting, angry tone but now it was said in a light, teasing, almost flirty ('Stop it! It is disgusting,' her rational side told her) tone.
"And you are ALWAYS nice to me, right?" He joked back.
"I'm just always nice,"
"Where are you headed?" James asked civilly, quickening his pace to match hers.
"The library,"
"I'll walk you there," James offered.
"That's all right," Lily turned him down.
"No, really," He argued.
"Really, its fine," she said a bit more forcefully.
"I don't mind, if that's what you think."
"I can walk there myself," she said through gritted teeth.
"It would be my pleasure to walk this independent woman," James said, oblivious to the annoyance he was causing Lily.
"Uch, get it through your puny little head already. I. Do. Not. Want. You. To. Walk. Me. Get it?" Her angry side took over as she brushed him away, continuing on briskly, leaving him behind.
*!*!*!*
James watched as Lily stalked off, shaking his head to himself. Why was she so mean to him? He had just tried to be nice, for once. Nothing ever worked with her. Once again he tried to fathom the mind of a girl and once again, he failed miserably.
"You look weird," Sirius observed as he walked to James "Like you were rejected or something,"
"Lily blew up at me again," James threw his hands up in defeat "I can't take it! I wasn't even mean, I was really nice. What does she want from me?"
"James, take it from me, this nice thing you're trying, it just doesn't work. You need to be the perv to succeed. It always works. And this just doesn't," Sirius said in a decided voice.
"You really think so?" James screwed up his face, contemplating if Sirius may actually be right. He never had failed in his obnoxious mode and, hell; he really had nothing to lose.
"Yeah, you may be on to something," James agreed.
"Ha! So you like Lily! Otherwise you wouldn't be trying this," Sirius admonished incredulously.
"No!" James yelped "Well, I mean, maybe, like a little. But only a little. Not a lot. A-"
"Little," Sirius finished for him "Yeah, I get it. Wow, you and Lily. Yep, that is definitely the worst match I can think of,"
"Thanks for your support, man," James glared at him.
Was he right? Was the thought of him and Lily that bad? Maybe Lily thought that also. Maybe? Of course she did! Last time James checked, she pretty much hated him. James moaned, and hung his head. Why did he always have to pick the things hardest to get?
*****************************************************************
Lily strolled into the Great Hall in high spirits. She smiled and waved to people, giggling at their bewildered glances. For as most people knew, Lily was anything but a morning person. Cranky, tired, obnoxious she was, but they had made so much progress in their project and she had finally gotten a good night's sleep so she couldn't help but smile.
"Oh, what a beautiful morning...." she sang softly.
"Oh, what a beautiful day..." Remus chimed in from behind her.
'Huh?' she thought 'How did he know the song? Wasn't it a muggle one?'
"I've got a beautiful feeling...." Sirius added, jumping next to Lily.
Sirius singing was just plain scary but giving her mood this morning she decided to ignore the insanity of the notion and go along with it.
"Everythings going my way..." They finished together.
"How do you guys know that song?" she asked, when she was done giggling.
"James sings it every day when he wakes up," Remus told her.
"How does James know? Actually, I don't want to know how. I like my theories better than what the truth probably is," she laughed.
"Why are you smiling?" Sirius asked "Its eight o'clock. You NEVER smile at eight o'clock,"
"Why can't I smile? I can be a morning person sometimes,"
"Whatever," Sirius shook his head.
Lily waved goodbye as she spotted her three friends and walked quickly over to them. She hugged Lynn, and hooked her arms through Joy's, babbling about her morning.
"Wait.....you are scaring me," Lynn stared at her.
"You are going to the Hospital Wing pronto," Annie said, beginning to drag Lily with her.
"Really, guys!" Lily laughed, pulling herself from Annie's grasp "Am I that bad in the morning, usually?"
"You are quite the epitome of crankyness. This spur of cheeriness is just catching me off guard," Lynn answered.
They sat down, piling their plates with food, Lily even going for seconds. Once again, she was met with bewildered stares, because she was known for barely eating and getting nasuas in the morning. She even heard a girl whisper to her friend how she had heard noises coming from the stall when Lily was in there so it was possible she were bulimic. Lily just rolled her eyes and ate, ignoring everything around her, and letting those remarks go.
"So how's things with James?" Lynn brought up.
"How they always are. How are things with Annie?" Lily retorted.
"Huh?"
"You asked how things are with James, I asked how things are with Annie. The questions aren't that different," Lily explained "Meaning why would you ask if you know we are friends, if you were too dense to understand what I said before,"
"Lily don't discriminate!" Lynn scolded, pulling a strand of her blonde hair away from Lily "I can't help my hair color. (Go blondes! We rock!) I was checking how things were. Sooooorry,"
"Its all right," Lily accepted her apology "Look, there he is now,"
The four of them watched as James strode down the table to where Remus was sitting. However on the way there, he stopped right in front of Lily and stared at her for a second before winking at least three times. Lily's mouth dropped open, and James just smirked before walking on.
"He winked at you!" Lynn squealed.
"No, he didn't," Lily protested.
"And he smiled in a flirty way!" Joy added.
"No, he didn't! He smiled nicely and he didn't WINK. He blinked. Everyone blinks. So does he, ok?" Lily tried to persuade them, and more importantly herself.
Her heart was beating furiously again. Why would he wink at her? He would only do that if he...well, if he.....but he didn't! Lily knew he didn't and she sure hoped he didn't. But for some reason, a small part of her kept telling her that he winked at her and was revelling in in it.
"He always winks when he likes a girl. He always does!" Lynn repeated.
"Well, he doesn't like me. And I'm not one of those stupid girls who just like him because he's hot or good at quidditch or rich. I would only like someone if they were NICE and not a PRICK. Just because I like James doesn't mean that he likes me," Lily blurted out, and then covered her mouth quickly.
Like James? She just said that? Lily burnt from embarrassment and rage. She didn't like James, she really didn't! So why wouldn't her friends and that stupid subconscious just listen to her?
"You like JAMES?" She heard Sirius echo.
Crap! Well, when things like this happened, there was only one thing you could do...........
"What are you talking about?" Lily screwed her face into one of confusion and bewilderment.
.....Deny, deny, deny...........
"You just said you did!" Sirius exclaimed.
"No, I didn't," Lily said in a tone that conveyed what stupidity that was.
"Yes, you did,"
"I think I would know if I did. You should get your hearing checked," Lily suggested.
"Did she just say she liked James?" Sirius asked Lynn.
Lily shot Lynn a murderous glare and shook her head furiously "Hell, no!" Lynn said, catching on.
Annie and Joy shook their heads for emphasis.
"Did she just say that?" Sirius turned around to ask Peter.
Lily knew those two extra galleons in her pocket would come in handy one day! She flashed it over Sirius's shoulder, and Peter seeing it, immediately complied "What are you going on about? You really are scaring me,"
"Wow, you really didn't say it," Sirius looked dumb founded "Sorry, Lils,"
"No harm done here," Lily said in an overly cheery voice "Well, buh-bye,"
She slipped Peter the two galleons, and sighed happily, resting her head on her hands.
"You said you liked James!" Lynn squealed when Sirius was long gone.
"Shhhhh," Lily warned "I meant as a friend. But he doesn't like me at all,"
"We all know you do," Joy wheedled.
"I don't like that stupid prick! At least not like that," she added hastily.
"Fine," Annie said nonchalantly.
"Sure," Lynn said carelessly.
"Whatever," Joy bit into her cracker.
Yup, they totally believed her. NOT. Lily sat back into her chair and prepared herself for the tirades to come.
************************************
"So, did she notice?" James asked excitedly as Sirius sat down next to him.
"Nope. She said you were just blinking. I thought I heard her say something but no one else did," Sirius told him.
"What did you think she said?"
"I'm not telling you. It'll just get your hopes up," Sirius said after a moment's hesitation.
Ohhh..something that would get his hopes up meant that it would have been a good thing. He would kill if he had to, but he was going to get it out of Sirius.
"You tell me now!" James demanded.
"Come on James, it's just stupid," Sirius pleaded.
"Tell me, dammit!" James said aggressively.
"Fine. I thought she said she liked you but you didn't like her but everyone thought I was crazy or hearing things,"
"You thought she said that?" James almost yelled.
Heaven, floating and jumping among the clouds, fluffy rabbits and all that crap, that's how he felt! Lily MAY have said she liked him! He felt like he was floating upwards to the sky.....
"But she didn't," Sirius reminded him.
....And spiraling back down into the concrete ground. Honestly, couldn't Sirius allow him a moment to think that Lily liked him? Sometimes ignorance was really the way to go.
"Who cares? At least you thought that," James whooped.
"No, she did," Peter blurted out, looking disgusted with himself for saying that.
"She what?" James moved in closer.
"She said she liked you," Peter said louder this time.
"I know, we already affirmed that she doesn't li-" James stopped at the end of his sentence when he realized what Peter said, and let his mouth hang, staring in disbelief.
"But you told said she didn't before," Sirius protested.
Peter opened his hand and in it were two galleons "More money for the marauder fund,"
"She gave you money not to say that?" James finally found his voice. If she'd given money to Peter than it must be true.
"Hell, yeah. She doesn't think you like her. She said that to,"
"What?" James yelped, jumping out of his seat "I thought it was obvious! Where is she? I have to let her know!"
Sirius pulled him back down, shaking his head sadly "And sound like a weeping bloody idiot? I am saving you from untold embarrassment. If you want to do this then you gotta do it suave and cool. We have a reputation?"
"Screw it!" James muttered.
And he meant it to. Reputation, shmeputation. Honestly, when you thought about, it didn't really make a difference because people just liked him since he was rich and good at quidditch. Being weird wouldn't really change anything. But not Lily.
If it was true what Peter said, then she liked him for who he was and not for just being some quidditch star. James rolled his eyes at the thought. It was the kind of phrase that he and his friends used to make fun of and laugh at. He remembered saying love was some one's biggest weakness and now mentally kicked himself for it. Though he did always feel weak when Lily was nearby, in truth he'd never felt stronger. (a/n: GASP! sugar overdose!!! I hate being corny but it just goes that way- I am sooo sorry for putting you through this. I am an angel's demise into the land of the devil!)
*********************************************
"Lily, your a really nice person and while we didn't hit it off right at-"
"What are we listening? Fifty years who couldn't find anyone better so they gotta take same lame dude on the street? Come on, James, teenager mode!" Sirius commented.
"Lil, your a really cool chick and I think we can move together real groovy, ya know what I mean?" James tried even winking for measure.
They were in their dormitories, and James was practicing lines to say. Usually finding a girlfriend would go along the lines of 'Yo, go out with me,'. But, like James had said, this was different. So far, however, it was not faring too well.
"No, no, no. That is just way too sixties and way too......well, its just weird!" Remus finally said, when he couldn't think of any better words to say. "Try to be a little sweeter?"
James sighed and nodded, shaking himself out and getting ready for another round.
"But not like marmalade," Peter added.
"Lily, I've been watching you lately. Closely, very closely. And I've seen a new side of you-"
"-When I watched you take a shower yesterday. What is this, stalking confessions or something?" Peter shook his head.
Well, really, though! Like Peter could say it better than him? James laughed at the thought.
"Lily, I like you,"
"What is this? It sounds like someone gave you a truth potion! Too direct!" Sirius exclaimed.
"Damn it, Lily just snog me already!" James said exasperatedly, throwing up his hands in disgustment.
"I love it! Perfect!" Sirius said enthusiastically.
James just threw Sirius a look and rolled his eyes again. When Sirius was your best friend there was a lot less serious conversations and a lot more eye rolling.
Well, I'm ready," James said decidedly.
"Go get 'em, tiger," Sirius patted him on the back.
Once again a look, and then an eye roll. It was almost like a ritual by now!
**********************************************************
Always, always, it always went back to him! Where ever she was, he always appeared out of nowhere. Once again, Lily found that she was being cornered by James. He'd barged into the Common Room and strode to her seat, sitting down purposefully next to her so Lily thought he was going to say something important, and then begins to talk about the most petty things! Did she really care that Professor Flickwick wore a wig or that James had seen Professor McGonnagol with her hair down?
"- And it was really wavy and long. But she didn't know I was there because I was wearing the cloak-" James was saying, rocking back and forth as if he was nervous but why Lily had no idea.
"Well, grand, but must run," Lily cut him short beginning to get up.
"No, wait!" James said, putting a hand on her to stop her.
"What? No offense James, but I'm really in the mood to gossip about teacher. They don't intrigue me all that much," Lily said.
"Well, see, I really meant to say this other thing, but for some reason I kept talking about this," James explained.
"Well get to the point, darling," Lily joked.
"Well, Peter said this weird thing to me,"
Lily stiffened "About what?"
"Well he said...he said...not to be as sweet as marmalade. What is marmalade even?" James said, looking furious with himself for some reason.
Lily breathed in deeply. So he hadn't sold her out.
"Marmalade is sort of like sugar. Is that all?"
"No. See I did that thing I did before with the teachers. Ok, so when I say this, don't blow up on me, ok?"
"Why would I do that? Aren't I slow to anger?" Lily teased, laughing.
"Well, Peter said, that you liked me or something like that. I mean, maybe he just lied because I was just wondering because I didn't think you since you always act like you don't but maybe you do, how should I know?" James rambled on nervously.
That double-crossing rat! Lily was going to MURDER Peter.
"He said what?" Lily exclaimed "The liar!"
"Then why'd you give him two galleons not to tell me?"
Damn it! He had to tell EVERYTHING didn't he?
"Well, I didn't mean I LIKED you," Lily laughed as if that was absurd while frantically searching for something that would sound logical "I meant......"
"That..." James prompted.
"Well, like as a friend, ya know?" Lily fumbled along "But you hate me so I thought you'd laugh at me or something,"
"That's all you meant?" James looked disappointed for some reason but Lily didn't know why.
"Yeah...you thought I LIKED you?"
"Oh, no!" But for some reason his laugh was too high-pitched for Lily too seem geniune "But Lily I don't hate you at all. I did,"
"Well, great, we're friends, wonderment. But I got to run. Bye!" Lily jumped up and was out in a flash.
That was sort of uncomfortable. Lily wondered how the conversation would have gone if she had admitted it. Would he have said he also did? Lily didn't think he did, but lately there had been signs... Alas, those lost chances that would never resurface....
*********************************************************
James looked at himself in the mirror. For the first time ever, his hair was gelled back and neat and felt like a greasy icicle. Poor Snape, he had to go through that every day. James had borrowed Sirius's clothes, and while he wasn't vain, well maybe he was but still, he had to admit that he looked bloody good in a leather coat.
They had decided the only way for James to get Lily was to do it the cliché way. Get her jealous and make her realize what she had missed. And James was going all out. No girl would hide from him, he was going to find the perfect girlfriend if there was one to find.
"You better bloody watch out," he said to himself "I will find you,"
And he'd do it if it would kill it. Anything for Lily.
*****************************************************************
G-d was that too corny??????? I am such a corny and fluffy person but other ppl may not to be. But the last line was sooooooooooooooooo corny. I know I am evil. When are they going to kiss???!!! Ok, I got it figured out, and not the next chap. but prob the one after that- Hey, I know its slow, but a) come on, you don't want it to end already! b) Lily is supposed to hate him- she's confused now and she won't kiss him if she cant even admit she likes him! Ok thanx to:
Parselmouth Majere: Awww....thanx! I love my crap too- lol. Every chapter you write gets better and better and you have better write more soon b/c i am dying here!
Night-'n'-Day- THANX SOOOOO MUCH! and i love your word- Capturenising- soo kewl!
Omni: Eee.....I GOT someone to turn to jelly....hehe!
manotlamma(frogs: TRIBUTE!! TRIBUTE!! MY 200TH REVIEWER!!! totem pole will be made in your name and new religion is born!
Scary Miss Mary: I. LOVE. YOUR. FIC. everyone read it its like the best!!! THANX sooooo much for reviewing!! please please update! I am at your feet!!!
Starborn: thanx! your other half.....I am hoping you share your pen name- otherwise...lol
Pigs*IN*A*BLANKET: Update one of your stories already and you know I love you and once again this is dedicated to you!!!
Shrouded Spirits: Well I updated so I am guessing I'm not going deaf by your squeaky voice?? I hope your allergies get better if thats what you meant!
Someone: hey, i reviewed your fic, so you gotta update again so I can review again!
Silver Arrow: I agree! Sirius is so evil. He should be banned but alas, we are all so hopelessly devoted to him
Also thanx to : Jamie grl, blue rain cloud (believe me, your opinion means a TON) and kuro-tenshi_2nd REVIEW AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER!
Back to you
It always comes around
Back to you
I tried to forget you
I tried to stay away
But it's too late I'm so good at forgetting
And I quit ever game I play
But forgive me, love
I can't turn and walk away
-Love Song for No one- John Mayor
"Lynn, you do know this must be the stupidest thing you've ever made us do?" Lily whispered, shielding the top of her head with a branch from the worn-out oak tree that stood in front of her.
"You don't understand," Lynn whispered back earnestly, "I saw him smile at Belinda. Not sweet-bookworm-dear Belinda but the bitch-slut-whore-of-the- devil Belinda,"
"Peter is just a nice person. He didn't mean anything by it," Joy said, pulling her foot out of a puddle of mud "These were my favorite pair of shoes, Lynn."
"Oh my G-d!" Lynn began to shout, but Lily quickly covered her mouth with her hand so it was muffled.
"Honestly, don't sabotage your own escapade, Lynn,"
"He's talking to Marticia now! Her last boyfriend only lasted three months. She definetely wants him,"
"He's talked to lots of girls before. This is such stupidity. I'm out of it," Annie declared, brushing her robes off as she stepped out of the bush she'd been hiding in "I'll be in the library,"
Lily, Joy, and Annie had been forced by Lynn to help her catch Peter 'in the act.' Convinced that he was cheating on her, nothing Lily or the others would console her. So they had been skulking behind plants and poles for at least an hour, following his every move and motion. It had been a horror of an afternoon.
Lily stepped out from behind the tree, following Annie's suit and said "No, Lynn. I'm gone. You know I love you desperately and dream of frolicking with you underneath the sun, but this is too much. Sorry, sweetums. Peter is not fricken cheating on you!"
"Lily likes Lynn? Cool!" Lily heard a voice next to her. She turned quickly and saw Sirius there grinning madly, no doubt with putrid images in his mind.
"Come on, Sirius. Even you aren't that full of stupidity. I hope. I was joking,"
"Damn it!" Sirius exclaimed, shaking his head angrily.
Lily just rolled her eyes and continued inside, shivering slightly from the cold. She was such a dolt, not bringing her jacket when it was January. Even Sirius had his jacket on. Lily had just been so preoccupied when she had come down to spy on Peter. All she could think about for the past day was-no, not that!
She didn't care about him, she assured herself. He was a stupid little halfwit with crooked glasses and messy hair. Messy hair that she would like to run her fingers through, and then fix it up, her other side intervened. Lily made a sound that was between a groan and a moan, and tugged at her hair, trying to claw her way into her brain so she could pull out the part of her brain that kept injecting James into her thoughts.
"You all right?" she heard James say.
Aargh! He was always around! It was like her brain manisfested him to appear where ever she went, and it was horrible and wonderful. Half of her wanted to push him away and snub him terribly. The other half however was dying to get its hands on that messy hair of his and look into his sweet eyes and-wow, she interjected, she sounded like a huge dope.
"Hellooo...anyone there?" James asked.
"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be fine? You think I don't look fine? Why wouldn't I look fine? Why wouldn't you think I wasn't fine? Why wouldn't you...wouldn't..." Lily's voice drifted off into the wind.
"OK. You're fine. I'll make sure never to ask that again. I'm such a moron. Why would I ask such a disgusting question?" James said sarcastically.
"Sorry," Lily offered him a half-smile, and the stupid part of her reached out and touched him lightly on his arm "I'm just sorta wired,"
"Just don't do that again. I mean, if I can't be nice and I can't be mean, then I mean, what can I be?"
"You're never nice to me," Lily answered back. Last year this would have been said in a taunting, angry tone but now it was said in a light, teasing, almost flirty ('Stop it! It is disgusting,' her rational side told her) tone.
"And you are ALWAYS nice to me, right?" He joked back.
"I'm just always nice,"
"Where are you headed?" James asked civilly, quickening his pace to match hers.
"The library,"
"I'll walk you there," James offered.
"That's all right," Lily turned him down.
"No, really," He argued.
"Really, its fine," she said a bit more forcefully.
"I don't mind, if that's what you think."
"I can walk there myself," she said through gritted teeth.
"It would be my pleasure to walk this independent woman," James said, oblivious to the annoyance he was causing Lily.
"Uch, get it through your puny little head already. I. Do. Not. Want. You. To. Walk. Me. Get it?" Her angry side took over as she brushed him away, continuing on briskly, leaving him behind.
*!*!*!*
James watched as Lily stalked off, shaking his head to himself. Why was she so mean to him? He had just tried to be nice, for once. Nothing ever worked with her. Once again he tried to fathom the mind of a girl and once again, he failed miserably.
"You look weird," Sirius observed as he walked to James "Like you were rejected or something,"
"Lily blew up at me again," James threw his hands up in defeat "I can't take it! I wasn't even mean, I was really nice. What does she want from me?"
"James, take it from me, this nice thing you're trying, it just doesn't work. You need to be the perv to succeed. It always works. And this just doesn't," Sirius said in a decided voice.
"You really think so?" James screwed up his face, contemplating if Sirius may actually be right. He never had failed in his obnoxious mode and, hell; he really had nothing to lose.
"Yeah, you may be on to something," James agreed.
"Ha! So you like Lily! Otherwise you wouldn't be trying this," Sirius admonished incredulously.
"No!" James yelped "Well, I mean, maybe, like a little. But only a little. Not a lot. A-"
"Little," Sirius finished for him "Yeah, I get it. Wow, you and Lily. Yep, that is definitely the worst match I can think of,"
"Thanks for your support, man," James glared at him.
Was he right? Was the thought of him and Lily that bad? Maybe Lily thought that also. Maybe? Of course she did! Last time James checked, she pretty much hated him. James moaned, and hung his head. Why did he always have to pick the things hardest to get?
*****************************************************************
Lily strolled into the Great Hall in high spirits. She smiled and waved to people, giggling at their bewildered glances. For as most people knew, Lily was anything but a morning person. Cranky, tired, obnoxious she was, but they had made so much progress in their project and she had finally gotten a good night's sleep so she couldn't help but smile.
"Oh, what a beautiful morning...." she sang softly.
"Oh, what a beautiful day..." Remus chimed in from behind her.
'Huh?' she thought 'How did he know the song? Wasn't it a muggle one?'
"I've got a beautiful feeling...." Sirius added, jumping next to Lily.
Sirius singing was just plain scary but giving her mood this morning she decided to ignore the insanity of the notion and go along with it.
"Everythings going my way..." They finished together.
"How do you guys know that song?" she asked, when she was done giggling.
"James sings it every day when he wakes up," Remus told her.
"How does James know? Actually, I don't want to know how. I like my theories better than what the truth probably is," she laughed.
"Why are you smiling?" Sirius asked "Its eight o'clock. You NEVER smile at eight o'clock,"
"Why can't I smile? I can be a morning person sometimes,"
"Whatever," Sirius shook his head.
Lily waved goodbye as she spotted her three friends and walked quickly over to them. She hugged Lynn, and hooked her arms through Joy's, babbling about her morning.
"Wait.....you are scaring me," Lynn stared at her.
"You are going to the Hospital Wing pronto," Annie said, beginning to drag Lily with her.
"Really, guys!" Lily laughed, pulling herself from Annie's grasp "Am I that bad in the morning, usually?"
"You are quite the epitome of crankyness. This spur of cheeriness is just catching me off guard," Lynn answered.
They sat down, piling their plates with food, Lily even going for seconds. Once again, she was met with bewildered stares, because she was known for barely eating and getting nasuas in the morning. She even heard a girl whisper to her friend how she had heard noises coming from the stall when Lily was in there so it was possible she were bulimic. Lily just rolled her eyes and ate, ignoring everything around her, and letting those remarks go.
"So how's things with James?" Lynn brought up.
"How they always are. How are things with Annie?" Lily retorted.
"Huh?"
"You asked how things are with James, I asked how things are with Annie. The questions aren't that different," Lily explained "Meaning why would you ask if you know we are friends, if you were too dense to understand what I said before,"
"Lily don't discriminate!" Lynn scolded, pulling a strand of her blonde hair away from Lily "I can't help my hair color. (Go blondes! We rock!) I was checking how things were. Sooooorry,"
"Its all right," Lily accepted her apology "Look, there he is now,"
The four of them watched as James strode down the table to where Remus was sitting. However on the way there, he stopped right in front of Lily and stared at her for a second before winking at least three times. Lily's mouth dropped open, and James just smirked before walking on.
"He winked at you!" Lynn squealed.
"No, he didn't," Lily protested.
"And he smiled in a flirty way!" Joy added.
"No, he didn't! He smiled nicely and he didn't WINK. He blinked. Everyone blinks. So does he, ok?" Lily tried to persuade them, and more importantly herself.
Her heart was beating furiously again. Why would he wink at her? He would only do that if he...well, if he.....but he didn't! Lily knew he didn't and she sure hoped he didn't. But for some reason, a small part of her kept telling her that he winked at her and was revelling in in it.
"He always winks when he likes a girl. He always does!" Lynn repeated.
"Well, he doesn't like me. And I'm not one of those stupid girls who just like him because he's hot or good at quidditch or rich. I would only like someone if they were NICE and not a PRICK. Just because I like James doesn't mean that he likes me," Lily blurted out, and then covered her mouth quickly.
Like James? She just said that? Lily burnt from embarrassment and rage. She didn't like James, she really didn't! So why wouldn't her friends and that stupid subconscious just listen to her?
"You like JAMES?" She heard Sirius echo.
Crap! Well, when things like this happened, there was only one thing you could do...........
"What are you talking about?" Lily screwed her face into one of confusion and bewilderment.
.....Deny, deny, deny...........
"You just said you did!" Sirius exclaimed.
"No, I didn't," Lily said in a tone that conveyed what stupidity that was.
"Yes, you did,"
"I think I would know if I did. You should get your hearing checked," Lily suggested.
"Did she just say she liked James?" Sirius asked Lynn.
Lily shot Lynn a murderous glare and shook her head furiously "Hell, no!" Lynn said, catching on.
Annie and Joy shook their heads for emphasis.
"Did she just say that?" Sirius turned around to ask Peter.
Lily knew those two extra galleons in her pocket would come in handy one day! She flashed it over Sirius's shoulder, and Peter seeing it, immediately complied "What are you going on about? You really are scaring me,"
"Wow, you really didn't say it," Sirius looked dumb founded "Sorry, Lils,"
"No harm done here," Lily said in an overly cheery voice "Well, buh-bye,"
She slipped Peter the two galleons, and sighed happily, resting her head on her hands.
"You said you liked James!" Lynn squealed when Sirius was long gone.
"Shhhhh," Lily warned "I meant as a friend. But he doesn't like me at all,"
"We all know you do," Joy wheedled.
"I don't like that stupid prick! At least not like that," she added hastily.
"Fine," Annie said nonchalantly.
"Sure," Lynn said carelessly.
"Whatever," Joy bit into her cracker.
Yup, they totally believed her. NOT. Lily sat back into her chair and prepared herself for the tirades to come.
************************************
"So, did she notice?" James asked excitedly as Sirius sat down next to him.
"Nope. She said you were just blinking. I thought I heard her say something but no one else did," Sirius told him.
"What did you think she said?"
"I'm not telling you. It'll just get your hopes up," Sirius said after a moment's hesitation.
Ohhh..something that would get his hopes up meant that it would have been a good thing. He would kill if he had to, but he was going to get it out of Sirius.
"You tell me now!" James demanded.
"Come on James, it's just stupid," Sirius pleaded.
"Tell me, dammit!" James said aggressively.
"Fine. I thought she said she liked you but you didn't like her but everyone thought I was crazy or hearing things,"
"You thought she said that?" James almost yelled.
Heaven, floating and jumping among the clouds, fluffy rabbits and all that crap, that's how he felt! Lily MAY have said she liked him! He felt like he was floating upwards to the sky.....
"But she didn't," Sirius reminded him.
....And spiraling back down into the concrete ground. Honestly, couldn't Sirius allow him a moment to think that Lily liked him? Sometimes ignorance was really the way to go.
"Who cares? At least you thought that," James whooped.
"No, she did," Peter blurted out, looking disgusted with himself for saying that.
"She what?" James moved in closer.
"She said she liked you," Peter said louder this time.
"I know, we already affirmed that she doesn't li-" James stopped at the end of his sentence when he realized what Peter said, and let his mouth hang, staring in disbelief.
"But you told said she didn't before," Sirius protested.
Peter opened his hand and in it were two galleons "More money for the marauder fund,"
"She gave you money not to say that?" James finally found his voice. If she'd given money to Peter than it must be true.
"Hell, yeah. She doesn't think you like her. She said that to,"
"What?" James yelped, jumping out of his seat "I thought it was obvious! Where is she? I have to let her know!"
Sirius pulled him back down, shaking his head sadly "And sound like a weeping bloody idiot? I am saving you from untold embarrassment. If you want to do this then you gotta do it suave and cool. We have a reputation?"
"Screw it!" James muttered.
And he meant it to. Reputation, shmeputation. Honestly, when you thought about, it didn't really make a difference because people just liked him since he was rich and good at quidditch. Being weird wouldn't really change anything. But not Lily.
If it was true what Peter said, then she liked him for who he was and not for just being some quidditch star. James rolled his eyes at the thought. It was the kind of phrase that he and his friends used to make fun of and laugh at. He remembered saying love was some one's biggest weakness and now mentally kicked himself for it. Though he did always feel weak when Lily was nearby, in truth he'd never felt stronger. (a/n: GASP! sugar overdose!!! I hate being corny but it just goes that way- I am sooo sorry for putting you through this. I am an angel's demise into the land of the devil!)
*********************************************
"Lily, your a really nice person and while we didn't hit it off right at-"
"What are we listening? Fifty years who couldn't find anyone better so they gotta take same lame dude on the street? Come on, James, teenager mode!" Sirius commented.
"Lil, your a really cool chick and I think we can move together real groovy, ya know what I mean?" James tried even winking for measure.
They were in their dormitories, and James was practicing lines to say. Usually finding a girlfriend would go along the lines of 'Yo, go out with me,'. But, like James had said, this was different. So far, however, it was not faring too well.
"No, no, no. That is just way too sixties and way too......well, its just weird!" Remus finally said, when he couldn't think of any better words to say. "Try to be a little sweeter?"
James sighed and nodded, shaking himself out and getting ready for another round.
"But not like marmalade," Peter added.
"Lily, I've been watching you lately. Closely, very closely. And I've seen a new side of you-"
"-When I watched you take a shower yesterday. What is this, stalking confessions or something?" Peter shook his head.
Well, really, though! Like Peter could say it better than him? James laughed at the thought.
"Lily, I like you,"
"What is this? It sounds like someone gave you a truth potion! Too direct!" Sirius exclaimed.
"Damn it, Lily just snog me already!" James said exasperatedly, throwing up his hands in disgustment.
"I love it! Perfect!" Sirius said enthusiastically.
James just threw Sirius a look and rolled his eyes again. When Sirius was your best friend there was a lot less serious conversations and a lot more eye rolling.
Well, I'm ready," James said decidedly.
"Go get 'em, tiger," Sirius patted him on the back.
Once again a look, and then an eye roll. It was almost like a ritual by now!
**********************************************************
Always, always, it always went back to him! Where ever she was, he always appeared out of nowhere. Once again, Lily found that she was being cornered by James. He'd barged into the Common Room and strode to her seat, sitting down purposefully next to her so Lily thought he was going to say something important, and then begins to talk about the most petty things! Did she really care that Professor Flickwick wore a wig or that James had seen Professor McGonnagol with her hair down?
"- And it was really wavy and long. But she didn't know I was there because I was wearing the cloak-" James was saying, rocking back and forth as if he was nervous but why Lily had no idea.
"Well, grand, but must run," Lily cut him short beginning to get up.
"No, wait!" James said, putting a hand on her to stop her.
"What? No offense James, but I'm really in the mood to gossip about teacher. They don't intrigue me all that much," Lily said.
"Well, see, I really meant to say this other thing, but for some reason I kept talking about this," James explained.
"Well get to the point, darling," Lily joked.
"Well, Peter said this weird thing to me,"
Lily stiffened "About what?"
"Well he said...he said...not to be as sweet as marmalade. What is marmalade even?" James said, looking furious with himself for some reason.
Lily breathed in deeply. So he hadn't sold her out.
"Marmalade is sort of like sugar. Is that all?"
"No. See I did that thing I did before with the teachers. Ok, so when I say this, don't blow up on me, ok?"
"Why would I do that? Aren't I slow to anger?" Lily teased, laughing.
"Well, Peter said, that you liked me or something like that. I mean, maybe he just lied because I was just wondering because I didn't think you since you always act like you don't but maybe you do, how should I know?" James rambled on nervously.
That double-crossing rat! Lily was going to MURDER Peter.
"He said what?" Lily exclaimed "The liar!"
"Then why'd you give him two galleons not to tell me?"
Damn it! He had to tell EVERYTHING didn't he?
"Well, I didn't mean I LIKED you," Lily laughed as if that was absurd while frantically searching for something that would sound logical "I meant......"
"That..." James prompted.
"Well, like as a friend, ya know?" Lily fumbled along "But you hate me so I thought you'd laugh at me or something,"
"That's all you meant?" James looked disappointed for some reason but Lily didn't know why.
"Yeah...you thought I LIKED you?"
"Oh, no!" But for some reason his laugh was too high-pitched for Lily too seem geniune "But Lily I don't hate you at all. I did,"
"Well, great, we're friends, wonderment. But I got to run. Bye!" Lily jumped up and was out in a flash.
That was sort of uncomfortable. Lily wondered how the conversation would have gone if she had admitted it. Would he have said he also did? Lily didn't think he did, but lately there had been signs... Alas, those lost chances that would never resurface....
*********************************************************
James looked at himself in the mirror. For the first time ever, his hair was gelled back and neat and felt like a greasy icicle. Poor Snape, he had to go through that every day. James had borrowed Sirius's clothes, and while he wasn't vain, well maybe he was but still, he had to admit that he looked bloody good in a leather coat.
They had decided the only way for James to get Lily was to do it the cliché way. Get her jealous and make her realize what she had missed. And James was going all out. No girl would hide from him, he was going to find the perfect girlfriend if there was one to find.
"You better bloody watch out," he said to himself "I will find you,"
And he'd do it if it would kill it. Anything for Lily.
*****************************************************************
G-d was that too corny??????? I am such a corny and fluffy person but other ppl may not to be. But the last line was sooooooooooooooooo corny. I know I am evil. When are they going to kiss???!!! Ok, I got it figured out, and not the next chap. but prob the one after that- Hey, I know its slow, but a) come on, you don't want it to end already! b) Lily is supposed to hate him- she's confused now and she won't kiss him if she cant even admit she likes him! Ok thanx to:
Parselmouth Majere: Awww....thanx! I love my crap too- lol. Every chapter you write gets better and better and you have better write more soon b/c i am dying here!
Night-'n'-Day- THANX SOOOOO MUCH! and i love your word- Capturenising- soo kewl!
Omni: Eee.....I GOT someone to turn to jelly....hehe!
manotlamma(frogs: TRIBUTE!! TRIBUTE!! MY 200TH REVIEWER!!! totem pole will be made in your name and new religion is born!
Scary Miss Mary: I. LOVE. YOUR. FIC. everyone read it its like the best!!! THANX sooooo much for reviewing!! please please update! I am at your feet!!!
Starborn: thanx! your other half.....I am hoping you share your pen name- otherwise...lol
Pigs*IN*A*BLANKET: Update one of your stories already and you know I love you and once again this is dedicated to you!!!
Shrouded Spirits: Well I updated so I am guessing I'm not going deaf by your squeaky voice?? I hope your allergies get better if thats what you meant!
Someone: hey, i reviewed your fic, so you gotta update again so I can review again!
Silver Arrow: I agree! Sirius is so evil. He should be banned but alas, we are all so hopelessly devoted to him
Also thanx to : Jamie grl, blue rain cloud (believe me, your opinion means a TON) and kuro-tenshi_2nd REVIEW AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER!