Disclaimer: Only the plot is mine.
Misa takes me to the city for shopping, movies, museums, and plays. I already saw 'Don't Bother Me', 'I Can't Cope', 'The Fantasticks' and 'The New York Experience.' We drive there in her white mercedes. The seats are fuax leather, the color of pumpkins. I rub my cheek against them. I pretend they are mine, and not just hers. People look at us like we're something special when we're driving in this car. One day I will ask her to teah me how to drive it ands maybe she'll let me take it out my own self.
Misa travels during the week, so I saty here by myself and watch TV. Sometimes I wonder what kids my age are doing in school, and I feel a little lonely even though I didn't have friends there. I did like learning things. You can learn from TV too, but it's not the same. I suppose I could get a job, but I'm so tired all the time that I'm afraid I'll fall asleep at work or something. Unless I could get a job as a matress tester, like Lil' Abner. Sometimes I think about working at one of those topless bars where the business men go at lunch, but they don't take girls with flabby bellies like mine. If I was nursing they say the flab would go right away, but you can't nurse a baby you don't have anymore, so that's that.
I keep this place very clean so Misa will know I'm not a bum. The dishes are always washed carefully and put away, and I wipe off the sink until it shines. I dust the paperweights. Misa has them on the glass coffee table in the living room and on the desk in her office. Thick, perfect glass globes with iridescent swirls inside, like captured stardust. I get the coffee table so clean there is no lint or particles on it, and then I place the paperweights down carefully. I can make things sparkle.
She has an oriental rug-green, gold, black and white. When you vaccum it the colors come out richer. After I do more chores I lie on the green velveteen couch in the clean room and I watch TV. Everything feels just fine except for one thing. The throwing up has come back. I thought it had stopped. When I was pregnant, after the morning sickness went away, I didn't ever want to throw up again. It's not like I do it every day-that's one good thing-but when I get the urge nothing can stop me. I guess you just get bored after watching so many soaps and reruns so you think about eating. It does make the day go. You wake up and watch the morning shows and think about having ice cream for breakfast. Then you're sunk. Once you start, that's it for the day. You think of how fat you'll get after you eat it and then you remember that you can have as much as you want and then throw it up and you'll have it both ways. After you throw up you get really tired so you sleep from about five till eight, then you get up for more TV and watch till eleven or twelve. Then you go to bed. You know this isn't normal but it makes perfect sense at the time.
Misa doesn't know I do this. She doesn't know much about me, really. It's amazing she lets me stay here. She doesn't know about the baby, Japan or Yuta. She doesn't know anything about the mermaid's flesh, my immortality, or that I ran away. She thinks I'm taking a year off of high school to decide what I want to do with my life. She doesn't pry very much. I guess I'll tell her when I'm ready, if I'm ever ready.
She usually comes home on Thursday and so we spend Friday together. I don't throw up when she's here. She gets in late; I wait up for her. I have cookies and milk waiting. She likes that. She says she's grateful for me.
We sleep in her bed, a queen size. It has satin sheets. They make you feel like you are under water. When she's not here, I sleep on the couch with the TV on.
I don't let her touch me down there, not after what Yuta did, but she can touch me anyplace else. I'm the one who touches her down there. She comes really easy. I haven't come yet with another person, only by myself. I wonder what I would do if it happened? Would I scream or something stupid like that? I hope I wouldn't say "Oh Yes!" I wouldn't let myself make any noise at all.
When we go to the city we go out to eat. We make sure to find a place with tablecloths so we can touch under the table. The waiter will be taking our order and I'll have my hand on her leg, under her skirt. I bend down and pretend to look for something, and while she orders for us I go right between her legs. Her thighs are soft as baby skin. I touch her panties and feel her getting wet already. I like this very much. I see her try to keep a still face and I get to wanting her so much I don't know what to do with myself. After the waiter leaves she lets out her breath really slowly.
"You're bad," she says. "Bad, bad, bad. You've got me all worked up. What are you going to do now"
"I could finish you off," I say.
"You wouldn't dare"
"Oh, wouldn't I?"
I push my chair closer to hers so that I won't have to bend to get to her pussy. My finger goes under the elastic of her panties and into her labia. She's very slippery. All I need to do is move my finger back and forth gently over her clitoris and she jerks the tiniest bit in her seat. She lets out a little cough and I feel her pulsing and getting wetter.
She whispers to me, "Oh, baby, now you've done it...you've finished me off without hardly trying. You're magic." I start to take my finger away and she says, "Leave it." I tell her I have to go to the bathroom and I take it out, careful to secretly wipe my finger on the tablecloth before I get up.
Each time I take a step I feel like my own clit swells up more. The wet has made me sting; I'm still raw from the baby.
In the stall I finish my own self off. It doesn't take long. If there's someone in the next stall, I come even quicker. When I come I clear my throat. I leave as much wet as I can so I'll feel it all night. I do not wash my hands when I leave.
I come back to the table and Misa looks at me like she loves me, like I'm the only one who can make her feel this good. I want her to think that.
"I missed you," she says.
"I missed you too"
This night we're going to see 'Oklahoma.' We have seats in the center, a few rows back. We will have to behave ourselves because we are exposed.
She leans over to me and says, "Mana, you make me feel alive"
I wish I knew what you meant.