A/N: Holy crap. Why did that take me so long to write? I've been working on this mother for like a week.
Well, whatever. I'm pretty pleased with the way it turned out so that makes it ok, I guess. The idea came from when my friends and I were at Olive Garden and someone was picking the peppers out of their salad because they didn't like spicy things. I dared one of the guys in our group to eat all of them at once and then the idea for this thing hit me. Wow, that's sad: I'm working on ideas for Tsubasa fanfics even when I'm out with my friends who don't give a shit about anime… That's the sign of a true addict, I guess. Anyhow, enjoy my ficcy.
Some like it Hot
It had been nearly three days since they first arrived in Piffle World, but Fai knew almost instantly that he loved it. After all, it combined many of the things that had made the previous worlds so much fun: fascinating scenery, amazing technology, an exuberant atmosphere… and it wasn't every day that he got to see Kurogane fawn over a little girl like an overprotective father the way the ninja was doing with Tomoyo. And then there was the fact that the place had a totally kick-ass name; Piffle World. Oh, YES. He could say that name a thousand times and never get tired of it. Piffle World Piffle World Piffle World Piffle World Piffle World. Wow, life was good.
Fai opened Tomoyo's refrigerator, reaching for the iced tea, when one of the jars on the top shelf caught his eye. It was full of what appeared to be green peppers but for some reason, they struck him as suspicious… they just had an sinister sort of aura to them. Curious, the blond wizard took the jar, carefully opened it and sniffed the contents experimentally.
"I'd stay away from those if I were you," a pleasant voice said from behind him.
Fai jumped, startled slightly by the sudden noise and turned to face the visitor. "Ah, Tomoyo chan! You scared me!"
Tomoyo smiled innocently. "I'm sorry, Fai san. But I had to warn you. Those things you have in your hand are not to be taken lightly, you know."
"What are they?" the sorcerer asked, squinting through the murky brine in the jar.
"Javenero peppers," she replied. "They're the spiciest peppers in the world. They can be quite brutal if you don't know what you're getting yourself into. Then again, they're brutal even when you do know what you're getting yourself into."
"The spiciest peppers in the world?" Fai echoed.
"That's right," the girl nodded. "They can reduce even the strongest person to tears with just one bite."
Fai began to put the peppers back into the fridge when a mischievous thought popped into his head.
"You know…" the wizard said thoughtfully, "…this seems like the sort of thing that Kurotan might like."
"So, you're trying to say that you bet I can't eat one of these little pepper things without crying?" Kurogane repeated incredulously.
Fai's smile widened, signifying that the ninja had understood correctly.
"Yeah right," the warrior snorted. "I'll bet they're not even that hot."
The mage's smile became even more pronounced. He set down the glass of iced tea he had been drinking and leaned forward a bit to rest his elbows on the table, steepling his fingers. "What do you say to a little bet, then, Kurowan?"
Kurogane grinned at the prospect of a challenge. "What're the terms?"
"If you win…" Fai said slowly, trying to come up with a good prize. "…I'll promise not to call you by any more nicknames for the rest of the trip."
The sorcerer watched his companion's reaction and could tell that he was being tempted by the offer. Fai leaned across the table so that he and the swordsman were face-to-face.
"But if you lose," he whispered, putting his hand gently on Kurogane's cheek, "you have to…"
The warrior removed Fai's hand impatiently from his face. "You don't have to bother making up a consequence," he smirked. "I won't loose."
The blond continued to display his all-too-innocent smile. "…So then, is it a bet, Kuro sama?"
Kurogane grabbed the hand that Fai was offering him, shaking it to seal the deal. "It's a bet."
The warrior hated to admit it, even to himself, but as he popped open the lid on the jar of Javenero peppers, an anxious feeling slid into his stomach where it settled heavily like a sunken rock. Fai had warned him that these were the spiciest peppers in the world and had said that Tomoyo had told him that they could reduce even the strongest person to tears.
Normally, Kurogane wouldn't have found this overly worrying but Tomoyo had a rather annoying habit of predicting the future with unnerving accuracy. But he had never been one to turn down a challenge when offered one and he wasn't about to do so now. He was especially unwilling to back down from a bet with Fai because he knew that if he did, he was likely to never hear the end of it. Because of this, he ignored the warning signals stirring in his gut and fished out one of the peppers, holding it up in front of his eyes so that he could examine it more closely.
At a first glance, it seemed fairly nondescript. It basically looked like any old pepper. There was nothing about its looks to suggest that it had a particularly nasty temperament. But it didn't go unnoticed that it had a rather less-than-innocent feel about it. For some reason, it unsettled him. Kurogane hitched his game face back into place; no freaking way was he about to be beaten by some stupid little vegetable. His features fixed in a determined expression, the ninja cautiously took a bite of the pepper.
Fai took another drink of tea and watched Kurogane's face eagerly as the flavor of the sinister vegetable washed over his tongue. It took a moment for the full effect to take hold but the sorcerer could have pointed out the exact second that the swordsman realized that he was completely and totally screwed. Fai had always considered his traveling companion to be durable and had seen him take horrible pain without so much as a flinch. Nothing, however, could have prepared Kurogane for the world of hurt that would be released inside his mouth once he took that first bite of pepper.
Immediately his tongue and throat began to burn as though they were being soaked in acid and his eyes began to water in pain and surprise. Sweat broke out across his forehead and heat crept up into his face, giving it a brilliant red color. Kurogane gripped the edge of the table involuntarily, not even aware that he was squeezing it so hard that his fingers left deep impressions in the wood.
Fai watched all this with an expression of immense enjoyment on his face.
"Oh, poor Kuro chan! Is it hot?" he giggled.
"Shut… up…" the ninja gasped dangerously.
He began to pound the table with his fist over and over as if it would help to ease the intense spiciness in his mouth and ground his teeth in agony. His eyes were watering uncontrollably now and though it hadn't spilled over into actual full-blown tears, Kurogane realized that he was perilously close to losing the bet. Damn, the thought of losing to that smug bastard of a sorcerer made his blood boil (though it might have just been the pepper) and he tried his best to regain his composure. But he couldn't rub his eyes or he would lose! Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit… NO! FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION! Kurogane inhaled through his clenched teeth in an attempt to cool down his burning tongue. Fai was watching very closely now, his eyes scanning the warrior's face vigilantly for even one tiny teardrop. The ninja was on the verge of failure and the blond knew it.
Kurogane slammed his hands down on the table, hanging his head so that Fai was unable to see his face. The wizard crouched down beside his companion and continued to watch closely. Fai was a bit startled when he felt a small droplet of water drip onto his hand but when he realized what it really was, his face split into a grin of triumph.
Kurogane, the almighty warrior, was crying. And damn, was it ever sexy! Fai put a hand under Kurogane's chin and lifted it gently, wiping away the tears with his thumb. The two of them locked gazes for a moment, Fai's face sporting a soft, serene smile while Kurogane's features were marred by an expression anguish and surprise. Then the blond leaned in very close, so that their lips were almost touching before whispering "Looks like I win, hmm, Kurotan?"
Kurogane put a hand to his forehead, cursing himself for being such a sissy girl and losing the bet. His eyes were closed and his face screwed up in frustration and self-disgust. The ninja heaved a sigh before gritting his teeth once more and bitterly muttering "What are you gonna do to me then?"
"Hmm… there are so many exciting possibilities that I don't even know where to begin…" Fai grinned, twirling a strand of his golden hair around his finger in a very feminine manner. The wizard giggled to himself as different ideas involving varying degrees of humiliation for the ninja chased each other around his imagination. Both of them sat in silence for a surprisingly long time; Fai trying to decide on a suitable consequence and Kurogane waiting resentfully to learn his fate. Eventually, the ninja lost his temper and slammed a hand down on the table.
"WOULD YOU JUST MAKE UP YOUR GODDAMN MIND, ALREADY!" he snapped. "GOD, YOU'RE TAKING FOREVER!"
Fai was silent for just a little bit longer before snapping his fingers. "Ooh! I know just the thing!"
Kurogane swallowed (ouch, that one hurt. His throat was still burning from the pepper) and held his breath. Fai leaned forward, grinning, as if he wanted to whisper the answer in the ninja's ear. Kurogane leaned forward as well, listening intently, looking grim but resigned. The blond leaned forward a little more and the warrior mimicked him…
In hindsight, Kurogane supposed that he had been stupid to not have seen it coming but at that moment, it didn't even cross his mind that Fai might try something like that. Fai's hand shot out, grabbed Kurogane's face to hold him still, and pressed his lips against the ninja's. Whatever punishment the swordsman had been expecting, it had not been this. As a result of his surprise, Kurogane just sat there, frozen. You can't blame him though; after all, what would you do if Fai suddenly popped up out of nowhere and started eating your face?
It was perhaps a full five seconds before Kurogane managed to collect himself enough to get really pissed off. Breaking free from the sorcerer's lip-lock, the ninja quickly pushed away from the table so fast that he tipped his chair over backwards. He hurriedly scrambled to his feet, making sure to stay out of Fai's reach.
"You…! YOU BASTARD! YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!"
He jerked out his sword and held it threateningly out in front of him. Fai simply stood there, smiling serenely at him, his head tilted a bit to one side. Kurogane was puffing indignantly and his sword was shaking but he didn't take a slash at the mage's face.
"Come on, Kuromu," Fai urged. "I thought you were gonna make me pay for that."
The ninja continued to stand there, trembling with anger, but still not taking any action.
"You liked it, didn't you?" the blond grinned.
"OF COURSE I DIDN'T, DUMB ASS! WHERE THE HELL DO YOU GET A STUPID IDEA LIKE THAT!"
"You're right, Kuropii," the magician sighed, though his smile didn't diminish, "I was only guessing at that. I mean, just because you're standing there blushing instead of trying to slice me into a thousand pieces like you usually do, doesn't mean you enjoyed it…"
The ninja was quaking with suppressed fury, the look in his scarlet eyes becoming almost lethal. Unable to contain himself any longer, Kurogane let his sword fly straight at Fai's face. The wizard giggled as he ducked, easily missing the blow, and popped up between Kurogane's arms which were rather busy supporting his sword at the moment, leaving him quite vulnerable to a close-range attack. Fai looped his own lanky arms around the warrior's neck.
"Besides…that was hardly a kiss at all," he said softly. "A real one would be more like this—"
And without any further warning, Fai locked his lips onto Kurogane's once more, though this time it was much more passionate. And once again, the ninja was rendered immobile with shock; one kiss had been a surprise but the second time had been much more than he had bargained for (he would have been consumed by an overpowering urge to punch himself later if it hadn't been for the possibility that he was actually enjoying himself).
It was perhaps thirty seconds before Fai broke away quickly and grabbed his iced tea from the table, taking several huge gulps. Kurogane still hadn't found his voice but his facial expression expressed his thoughts; a cross between "!" and "What the flying fuck are you doing?" (Fai thought he might have seen a little "Wait…you're stopping! But why!" though he couldn't be sure)
"You were right Kuronyan; that pepper really was hot!"
Kurogane's expression became one that clearly said "Well no shit. I just ate the hottest goddamn pepper in the world. What did you expect, dumb ass?"
Fai shrugged, picking up his glass and heading to the kitchen to put it away. "I thought it might burn a little." Then he looked over his shoulder and grinned again. "But then, some like it hot."
A/N: Well? You likes? You know what I likes? I likes reviews (hint hint wink wink nudge nudge). So if you, like, wanted to leave me one or something…I wouldn't complain…