Raindrops and Realizations

Spoilers: We'll start with 'War Crimes' and go from there

Summary: Ever wonder just how Josh knew about the Cliff entries if he supposedly never read Donna's diary? Me too. Enjoy! Karen

His temper had gotten the best of him – again. And again, she bore the brunt of it. Unlike most times though, she deserved it – to an extent. He'd gone over the line, hadn't needed to come down so hard, especially since she understood the enormity and the implications of what had transpired. Hell, she'd walked in with her resignation in hand! But no, he sent her home with terse instructions to talk to no one and to wait for his call. She had just nodded meekly, put the diary on his desk and turned to leave.

"Donna."

She turned around, her emotions barely in check.

"Yes, Josh?"

"Why are you leaving the diary?"

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes before answering.

"Because if you are going to find a way to fix this, you'll need leverage. October 4&5 will give you what you need. If that doesn't work my resignation is on your desk."

With that she slipped out the door and left, a stunned Josh just standing there, watching as she walked away.

Once she was out of view, Josh closed the door and sat down at the desk. There it sat, the diary, waiting for him.

'Not yet,' he thought and turned his chair to the window.

As he watched the rain falling saw her come into view – head bowed, shoulders slumped, no umbrella against the rain. Suddenly his chest constricted and clarity struck, albeit a tad too late.

'Leverage, she said. Damn!'

Josh sat up straight in his chair as understanding dawned. 'No way does she go down for this by herself – think! There's got to be a way…'

Josh turned back to the desk and reached for the diary. 'Today's the 7th so I won't have to go back too far, ah here it is.'

He paused, one hand holding his place in the book. The beaten down look on her face was fresh in his mind. But apparently she still trusted him enough to leave the diary, trusted that he would do whatever was necessary to protect the President and the administration, no matter the personal cost to her.

'Leverage, she said. That means Calley must have done something that would be very damaging to his own career if it ever got out. Donna knows how this town works, that's why she mentioned those dates.' He placed a pen in the diary to hold his place.

A slow smile came to Josh's face as he reached for the phone. He needed a number, and then he could put together the plan percolating in his mind. After he got the information he needed, he returned to the diary. He quickly leafed through and found the entries she had mentioned, ripping them from the binding. He dug his keys out of his pocket and unlocked his desk. From the bottom drawer he pulled a lockbox and set it on the desk. Into this he placed the diary pages, relocked the box, returned the box to the drawer. He closed the diary and sat back.

'Now for Phase 2.'

Josh grabbed his phone and left the office. He hurried to his car and started driving. When he was close to his destination he placed a call. This time he didn't need to check a number – this one he knew by heart. He just prayed that his call would be answered.

Nearby, a phone rang.

She looked up at the sound of the telephone. Biting her lip, she debated the wisdom of answering. She was still quite upset after the blow-up at the office, and walking home in the rain hadn't helped. Still, she knew she had to pick up before Josh got anymore hostile towards her.

"Hello?" 'God, I hope I don't sound as bad as I feel' she prayed.

"It's me, are you alone?" Josh paused, knowing he had to be careful here, he could tell by the way Donna had answered that she was barely hanging on.

"Yes, Josh, I'm alone, what do you want?" Donna's nerves were starting to fray.

Josh heard the distressed quality in her voice and grimaced. He knew his assistant all too well – she was about to break and needed a friend, not a lecture. Josh took a breath, and a chance.

"OK, first is it okay for me to come over?"

"Why, so you can ream me out again?"

"No, actually I want to apologize and to run something by you."

Donna sighed, too drained to argue. "How soon?" she asked.

"How soon can you buzz me in?" Josh replied, grinning to himself.

"Oh."

Donna was waiting in her doorway as Josh climbed the stairs. She ushered him in and quickly shut the door.

She crossed the room, arms wrapped protectively around her slight frame. Josh watched silently as she paced in front of him. Finally he reached out and touched her arm to get her attention.

"Donna, please sit, OK? I can't watch you bounce off the walls like this. Please?" Josh looked at her, eyebrows raised, and motioned towards the couch.

Donna sat, head bowed, unable to look Josh in the eyes. He sat down on the coffee table and reached out to raise her face with his finger. He could see the tears pooling in her eyes. It hurt his soul.

"First, I owe you an apology. You came to me promptly, told me what happened, and in return you got a rather nasty smack down. I apologize for that, because all I succeeded in doing was to hurt one of my best friends. A friend who was willing to risk her own reputation and career for the administration. I don't expect you to forgive me. I do have an idea on how we can neutralize the situation with Calley, but you need to be OK with it." He paused, waiting for her response.

Donna couldn't suppress her tears. As she listened to Josh's apology, she was amazed at his words. By the time he reached the ended, tears were streaming down her face, something she knew he had a hard time dealing with. She shook her head in wonder.

"Forgive you? Josh, you had every reason to explode like that – I could bring about such a scandal this administration would never recover! I was expecting to be stripped of my credentials and marched out the door by security. I'm the one who needs to be begging for mercy, not you!" Donna subsided as Josh raised his hand to stop her.

"Donna, believe me, I was out of line. You have never done anything to merit being treated that way. You have always given me more than I had the right to ask for, and what have I given you? Grief and abuse."

Donna smiled, her tears starting to abate. "Well, what does that make me? A glutton for punishment since I haven't left yet?"

"No, just a very loyal person with an enormous capacity for forgiveness." Josh replied, his dimples appearing along with a rather bashful smile.

Donna looked at him, a fond smile on her own face. "You're not too bad yourself."

Josh breathed easier, they had gotten through the worst part and things seemed to be OK.

"So, want to hear my plan?"

TBC