Author: Athena
Rating: PG-13
Show: Dark Angel
Genre: Drama/Action/Romance
Pairing: M/A
Summary: A lonely night changed Max, Alec and Logan's life, probably forever. AU. Sets after "Hello, Goodbye"
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.
A/N: Ok, this fic was supposed to be a stand-alone… :D
Here's the update… I hope you like it
Part 3Logan
When the baby was born he was so thrilled and excited. He was a father!
But the joy he felt at first didn't last longer, because the baby didn't seem to be ok with anyone but his mother. Only with his mother he was calmed and happy. Any other who tried to hold him or feed him, including him, it was rejected by the boy. He didn't understand. Well, maybe it was something to do with the mother-son bond, so he let it go.
The baby was so tiny … really cute and lovely; the most beautiful creature he's ever seen; but there was something about him that drove him away; he felt like a complete stranger around him, totally disconnected with the kid, and also with Max.
It was like they had their own private universe, Max and the baby, and he weren't allowed in it. When they were together, they tended to ignore everyone and everything around them. They seemed to share a lot of things, and the outside world was just invisible to them. He started to feel jealous and envious of their relationship. It was the same kind of jealousy he felt in the past, when Alec was around. Was it normal? He doubted it, but he decided to let it go.
But every day that passed he felt like that more and more. It was awkward to think like that about his very own son! It was insane to compete with him for Max's affection, like an obsessed lover. But he couldn't help it.
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Other thing that bothered him was the baby's name. He always dreamed about a little Logan, but Max decided, completely on her own and without consulting him that his name was going to be Ben, he liked it or not.
Ben. Like Max's psycho killer brother. The very thought gave him the creeps. Why Ben? It's not like he'd liked Zach, or Seth, or any of her brothers' names, but why Ben? Because Max still felt responsible for his death? Or maybe because Ben was Alec's twin?
Oh, God, it seemed that every thought he had about it, always ended on the same place. Alec. The transgenic male was an omnipresent ghost between them, even after his disappearance. Or especially after that. And even when he wasn't mentioned, he could feel that he was on Max's mind.
And also on little Ben's face.
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After the baby was born, everybody who saw him told Logan that he looked a lot like him and that made him feel proud. The thought that the boy looked like him even made him forget a little about his dislike for the baby's name.
Well, everybody told him that, except for his mother. Mrs. Cale wasn't very excited after seen the newborn child, in fact she was so cold and inexpressive with the whole thing that Logan was awfully surprised. He didn't understand, his mother was the most thrilled about being a grandma, and her reaction after seeing the boy was so confusing for him.
Ben was 6-months-old when he decided to confront his mother and ask her about her weird behaviour. At first she didn't want to tell a thing, after all, she was a lady, and ladies didn't talk about that kind of embarrassing subjects. But she hated most to see his son being betrayed. So she decided to talk.
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"Mother, are you going to tell me what's bothering you? You were so thrilled about being a grandmother that I thought I'd have to get a restraint order so you'd leave our house. But now it seems that you aren't happy for my baby and me. You barely visit us or even call us." Logan said to his mother, trying to sound less worried than he really was.
"It's not like that, honey. It's just that I've been busy…"
"I don't believe you. I know there's something else. Tell me, it's Linda? I always have the feeling that you don't like her."
"You're right, honey . . . I don't like her."
"But why my son has to suffer because you don't like his mother?"
"Logan, sweetheart…"
"So, what is it mother? Explain it to me, because I don't understand"
"I can't" Mrs. Cale said, avoiding Logan's gaze. She didn't want to tell him what she has been thinking since the first time she saw the baby. She knew it'd hurt him a lot.
"Mother, come on! Tell me!"
She sighed. She knew if it wasn't a good idea to reveal her thoughts. But she gave up when she saw the determination on Logan's eyes. It'd be less painful if she tells him instead than other people, or at least, that's what she thought at the moment.
"Ok. I've been so distant because of the baby; well, because of your wife too, but basically because of baby Ben"
"The baby? Why?"
"I can't stand to be around him, Logan. I just can't."
"Mother, I don't understand…"
"He's not your son, Logan."
"What? How can you say that? Mother, everybody says how much he looks like me, how can you say… wait, how can you even think he's not my son? Do you have any proof of what you're saying?"
"No. Only my motherly instincts and my memories." Logan rolled his eyes when he heard her answer. "Oh, yes, you can make fun of me, but I know what I'm saying, Logan. I'm your mother, and a mother never forgets how their offspring looked at each stage of their lives. I remember vividly, just like it was yesterday, how you look when you were 6 months-old, Logan. And this baby you called 'your son' doesn't look anything like you."
"Babies change with time, mother. Besides, he's the result of the mix of Ma... Linda's DNA and mine. He doesn't need to look exactly like me to be my son" he replied.
"All right, don't believe me. But you'll see, you like it or not, that I was right."
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He didn't want to believe the things his mother said, but it became obvious as long as Ben was growing up. Years had passed and he didn't look like him at all. Yeah, he has white skin and blonde hair … but there ended the resemblance between them, even when he didn't want to admit it at first. He looked like someone else. But who? His first bet was for certain rogue X5 male who was always by Max's side some time ago.
Alec
But how could be? Max always denied anything between them; she said that they didn't have other thing than a friendship. When he thought they were together, before the Jam Pony siege, Max told him that it was a lie to protect him, wasn't it?
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But now, when the kid was 7 years old, it was undeniable. He had his eyes, his smile, even that unexplainable charisma Alec had. He saw Alec's face every time he put his eyes on the boy.
Even when he wanted so badly to believe in her innocence, the evidence of her betrayal was there, for him to see it everyday. He felt betrayed, deceived … how could Max do that to him, when he loved her so much?
And he hated the boy. He really did. He didn't know when he started to feel that way, but he hated him as much as he hated his father. Even more, probably. Alec was a distant memory now, although Ben was a permanent reminder of Max's indiscretion, of Max's mistakes.
Because he knew Ben was just a mistake, an accident. A huge one.
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Every time he saw him at home… every time someone stopped them on the street to tell how a beautiful son he had … every time he got a good grade at school … every time he won a race, a soccer game… every time he played the piano like a professional… Every time Ben called him "dad"…. Logan felt the hatred increasing inside of him.
He knew it was irrational, that he should consider the boy as an innocent, but he couldn't help it. I just hate him.
He knew he must hate Max instead of him, but he couldn't. He loved her so much that he couldn't even blame her.
Inside of his mind, the only one to shame was Alec, and his son for extension. The boy was guilty for just being born.
Max's mistakes needed to be corrected. And Logan was now prepared to do something about it.
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Ben was trying to pay attention to the teacher, but he wasn't succeeding at all. He was bored, incredibly bored. Why did they have to study fractions the whole week? He was excited the first time he studied them, but now, three days later, he had totally lost the interest. It's so easy. I don't know why it takes the others so long to understand Well, maybe he knew the reason. He knew he was different from the other kids.
I'm better he thought with pride. But he knew he couldn't say it aloud, not in front of his classmates, neither in front of his father. He'd punished him for sure. Ben didn't understand why, but his father didn't like to hear how good, how smart, how strong he could be. He knew he was always the best in everything he did, and it felt great to be admired by his friends, to be congratulated by his teachers and other parents, but it confused him that his father always seemed to be upset or angry about his achievements.
Ben knew it wasn't normal and it made him feel really bad. He saw how the other parents showed their pride and satisfaction when one of his friends got a good grade or when they won a game, even if they didn't score or made a great play; but not his father. Sometimes he thought he didn't love him at all.
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Max was outside Ben's school, waiting for him to take him home. She was abnormally happy. She didn't know why she felt that way, but she did. It was so rare. Her marriage with Logan was dead on every way, and they were together just for the kid's sake. Maybe the knowledge that Alec's son was having a normal life, the kind of life they never had, was enough reason to make her happy.
Thinking about her son made her smile. He was the most intelligent, strong, beautiful, caring and loving kid she'd ever known. He was so much like Alec. 8 years ago she wouldn't dare to say that aloud, but now that she suffered everyday with his absence, she could say it. Ben has all your good things, Alec. You'd be proud of him.
Ben was her reason to wake up everyday. He let her keep her sanity through the rough times she had lived after Alec's departure. He gave her a real reason to continue living.
If only you can see him, my love… you'll see the wonderful kid he has become…
She knew it was almost impossible. That maybe father and son will never meet.
Why did I realize so late my love for you? You'll never know that you have a beautiful son because of my blindness
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But suddenly, she felt that something was wrong. Everything around the school seemed to be normal, but inside of her she knew that something awful was going to happen. And then she saw them. Army trucks behind the school's gym, soldiers breaking quietly in the school. She felt panicking. Her boy was in there, and she needed to get him out.
tbc...
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A/N: Ok, what do you think? I know Alec doesn't appear (and it's also plenty of Logan :S), so maybe some of you might be a little bit disappointed , but I needed to explain some things before I get to the M&A reunion. And I'll try to update soon. Promise.
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OMG! 15 reviews!
TKS a lot to the people who reviewed Part 2:
Ro : I know… I'm glad you like it! Btw, there's probably more Logan-kicking soon… ;P
calistra: Tks! I hope you like this one too…
HoneyX5-452: Yeah! It couldn't be other way… :D.. ah, and about the beta thing, I hope you'd see improvement on this one, but… are you interested:D
angelofdarkness78: oh, thank you! Mmmh, this chapter sort of answer your question… I know it's not a real confrontation between them, but I promise you'll get what you want soon…
Pola: oh my gosh! You made my day when I read for the first time your review! Thank you so much!
4eva Jensen: Tks! Here's the update. I hope you like it.
elle6778: They will. But I'm afraid not now. Ah, and about the physical abuse… don't worry, I have it covered… soon, really soon… :D
Aur: Tks a lot! And I'm excited too, this fic seems to have life on his own… ;P
AmyLynn: I'm glad you liked it! And don't worry about your english… mine isn't as good as I'd want. I'm mexican, so… don't worry!
SecretlyBeautiful: I swear I want them to live together happily ever after … ;P but this fic seems to have a mind on his own… hehe… so the happy ending is coming, but not as soon as I planned… ;D
a reader: Tks a lot! And the happy ending will come… I swear! ;P
Alana84: Wow! I'm glad you like it! And about the M/A action… soon… Promise!
Lulu: mmmh, I guess you got it wrong… I hope this one will clarify you everything…
OriginalProxy: I'm glad you captured completely the emotions... it means a lot! I hope you also like this one...
sarasidle3: Thank you! Mmh… I'm afraid that's privileged information… Naah… of course she will! You can count on that… Just wait a little…. hehe