Title: Mistakes
Author: Athena
Rating: PG-13
Show: Dark Angel
Genre: Drama/Action/Romance
Pairing: M/A
Summary: A lonely night changed Max, Alec and Logan's life, probably forever. AU. Sets after "Hello, Goodbye"
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. I wish! ;)
A/N: ok, I know it's been a long time since my last update, but a long list of unexpected events (some of them really unfortunate) kept me away from my computer, and my fan fiction stories. But well, that doesn't matter anymore… I'm back:D It took my a while, but I finally finished this new chapter… Anticipated thanks for your understanding! And thanks a lot for your reviews, you're great, guys! Well, let me know if you like this one or not… Your opinion is really important!
Part 6
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Alec's declaration set Max on fire. He loves me! He really does! The moment she dreamed about these 8 years was real at last. Alec was with her!
She looked into his eyes and she liked what she saw. Love, passion, sincerity, understanding, trust … desperation, lust, hunger… So many things she hadn't seen before. Well, he was so different from the first time she set her eyes on him, long time ago, at Manticore. She'd been too blind to when he became a better person, when he changed. But at the present moment, she could see the truth. She had with him what she didn't find with anyone else. She had everything.
It's so good to see his eyes again. If only I could live forever inside his beautiful eyes
She kissed him again with all the passion that was consuming her; she couldn't bear any more time away from him. "Alec, I need you," she said, with a hungry stare on her eyes. "Take me to my room. Now"
That was just what Alec needed to hear. He just wanted to feel her body near to him; he needed to feel that her love for him was real, tangible. He planted soft kisses on her neck, her ear, making her skin tingled. It was so good to feel his arms around her again. To let her know how much love he had to give her.
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Ames White's life had been dull and painful the last 8 years. The sudden transgenics' escape from TC put in evidence the ineptitude and negligence of his men, and it became the beginning of his downfall. Everybody blamed him for the failure and he didn't have to wait longer for adverse reactions; the government took away his team and revoked his mission; the Conclave wasn't pleased with him, so they undermined his power, but the worst thing was his cult brothers' treatment. Almost everybody rejected him. He was a pariah among his own.
He returned to Washington, where the Agency relegated him to a low level position, a boring desk job with no excitement or challenge for him, so different from his former assignment. But he hadn't given up on his search of the missing transgenics; he continued it on his own. He used every resource at hand, he followed every lead, and he hired private detectives and a mercenary squad with his own money, but nothing. There was no sign on the States of the filthy transgenics.
But suddenly, his luck changed for good. He received vital information from a mysterious informant. It was about 494, the transgenic he hated most after 452; apparently the filthy animal bred some years ago and his offspring was in Seattle. In Seattle! The last place he thought looking at. He overestimated the animals; he never thought they would be stupid enough to come back there.
Flashback
White got from his job early. He was already on his apartment, drinking a beer and watching a pathetic TV show, when a mysterious package arrived for him. He accepted it, but at the moment the messenger left he felt alarms ringing inside of him. What if it was some kind of explosive sent to kill him? But then he remembered that no one was interested on him anymore, so he opened it, feeling safe.
He found a bunch of papers, information about some kid. A birth certificate, school grades, medical records … a DNA analysis? The only thing that made sense for him was the DNA analysis. He wasn't an expert, but during his transgenic hunt, he'd learned to identify the transgenic DNA and differentiate it from a regular DNA. But who is this kid? I don't remember any Manticore record of him. Somebody must be trying to make me a joke
But the DNA analysis was clear. The kid was a transgenic.
He saw the little boy's photograph and he suddenly felt something odd. It was like he had seen him before somewhere. But it can't be. He was too young to be part of the Manticore project. Unless he's a second generation transgenic, a voice inside of his head said. He gave another look to the photo and recognition hit him at once. "Oh, damn… his eyes, his smile, of course I've seen it before", he muttered for himself, unsure of his own deduction. Only one number came to his mind at the moment. "494", he whispered. "it must be his child, but how? With who?"
He looked again to the DNA workup when he realized something he hadn't noticed before. "There is no junk DNA… There is no junk DNA!" He said, not believing what he was seeing. "That means only one thing…"
Suddenly, a cell phone rang, awakening him to reality. It was inside the package. "Agent White, I assume you had receive my package already", a manipulated voice said. "Yes indeed. But who the hell are you? Why did you send me this?"
"My identity isn't important, Agent White, so don't ask again. And I'm sending you this information because I know about your.. How can I call it? … Oh, yeah, your little transgenic quest… and I thought you should find this information … interesting… really interesting. Am I wrong? "
"No, you're not. But you haven't answered my questions… why me? I don't have the power or the resources to hunt these animals anymore."
"That's not true and we both know it. You may not have the government's approval, but they're still your preys, so don't try to convince me otherwise " the voice said. But White was sure that there was something else, that this guy wasn't just a transgenic hater, that maybe it was something personal. "I won't ask how do you know that, but I wonder about your motives… Let me guess, does it have to do with the parents?"
A strange laugh sounded through the phone. "Oh, I see you're really sensitive, Agent White. Yes, it has to do with the kid's parents. With the father, to be exactly"
So White's hunch was right. "Any transgenic I personally had met before? X5-494, perhaps?"
Silence was the only answer White achieved. He smiled. It was clear that he had hit the right spot. " I see… you don't want to tell me. Well, I just want you to know that I'd feel more motivated if…"
"Ok, it's that bastard's son. Happy?" the voice said disgusted. Like if the mention of the damned transgenic had made him feel quite uneasy. And it's a really personal affair, for the sound of him, White thought with humor. "And what can you tell me about the mother?"
"Nothing. I know nothing about the mother. So don't ask again."
End of Flashback
But he knew better. Even if the anonymous informant with the manipulated voice hadn't told him, White was sure about who the mother was. And all his suspicions were confirmed when he saw her when he was trying to capture the kid. But damn 452 had escaped with her filthy child, taking away his chances of revenge.
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3 am
Alec was lying in bed, holding Max on his arms, like if he was afraid that she would be something imagined by his mind. But no, she was there with him, after sharing an amazing night together. He couldn't sleep, but that didn't matter, because he didn't want to move at all; he was just where he wanted to be, where he knew he had always belonged. The first night he spent with Max, so many years ago, they shared an emotional bond so strong and powerful that it had left marks on him, even if he didn't realized at the time.
And because of that, he always felt something missing when he was with other women. Well, the sex had always been great, but he had never found the kind of connection he felt only once, with Max. Back then, he didn't understand what it was, and with Max's abandonment he didn't want to figure it out at all. With the years he forced himself to forget about it, unsuccessfully. He just never did; he eventually ended up comparing all his female companions with her. A battle they'd always lose.
And now, when Fate gave him a chance to see Max again, he knew what it was. It was Love. It was so plain, so obvious, that it was easy for him to tell her the words he had only said once before. But there was something else that he needed to know. First, he'd always supposed that Max was living her dreamed life with Logan, but now, after their amazing lovemaking and her refusal to talk about him, it seemed that it hadn't been like that at all.
And second, he had a feeling that his life was about to change again, and that it was something to do with the little boy he just met.
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Logan was in front of his computer, tapping franticly the keyboard before giving up. Usually a calmed guy, he could really loose his temper at certain moments, and an especially difficult job was one of them. In moments like this, when he wasn't in control of things, it was when his mind traveled freely through the ways of insanity. Images of horrible things crossed his mind, involving the people who had betrayed him: Alec, Ben … Max. Three months had passed since Max decided to leave Seattle with her little bastard, instead of staying with the love of her life. He never thought she could really think about abandoning him, until that awful day. If only White had completed his part… Max'd be with me right now AndIf she'd accepted his offer, letting go of the child and embraced their future together, they'd be the couple they always dreamed off. But the unexpected events of that day also opened his eyes. She allowed Alec's presence in her mind all these years, when she ought to be thinking only in her husband. Instead of getting rid of his bastard and confessed her sins to the man she loved, she decided to keep the proof of her betrayal, so Alec's memory wouldn't fade like it should be.
It was really hard for him, thinking of her betrayal. He really wanted to forgive her, but she made it so difficult. So difficult! If only he found them, he could convince her that the best thing for her was coming back to Seattle to her husband and start over again. Yes, he was sure of that. She'll realize that I'm her future
But he was starting to lose faith that he'd find them, and that was freaking him out. There was no sign of Max and the child, no lead of their possible destination, with Bessie abandoned just few miles outside Seattle. He also bulletined them as missing persons to the police, but they weren't having any success. He alerted the EO network's contacts, but nothing. His only consolation was that he knew for sure that they hadn't trespassed the US border with their current passports, and that they hadn't enough cash to acquire a fake one. Or at least he wished they hadn't.
He wanted Max back so badly that he must play his last card. Even when he didn't want to, he needed to ask for help to an old acquaintance. He knew she might be angry with him, but he was praying for her good will. He dialed the phone number and waited for answer.
"Hi, Asha, it's me, Logan."
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"Why are you here, Max, so far from Seattle?" Alec said, touching her soft hair. Max shifted in his arms, so her face was close to him, looking intently at him, like if she didn't want to answer at all. After seconds that seemed an eternity, she sighed.
She knew this moment would come, sooner rather than latter. "White found out about Ben three months ago and we started to run away since then", she said, almost whispering, and Alec felt her warmth breath on his skin, making him feel, both anxious and excited. But he pushed away these feelings. He needed to know the truth. "He was after the kid? Not after you?"
"Yeah". Max's response was a shy and quiet, nothing like Max's. Now Alec was worried. "Why? And why isn't Logan with you? Logan's never been my favorite person, but I can't believe that he'd capable of leaving his family unprotected… Max, what aren't you telling me?"
An awkward silence fell between them. "He's not with us because…" Max couldn't find the words to say what she needed to say. She knew he might be angry with her when he heard the truth, but it wasn't way back. She was afraid the happiness she felt at the present moment would disappear when he discovered the truth, but it was something that needed to be done.
"… Because… He knows that he's not his son, Alec; and he hates him because he's your son, not his"
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White was angry with his men, because they were idiots, complete and full-time idiots. It was true that they couldn't even compare with the men they used to be in charge of, but you'd expect a better performance from an expensive bunch of mercenaries like them. For years he had waited for the time of his revenge, only for losing it again. He had 452 and her kid just where he wanted, and then they escaped, like in the old days. But what was making him madder than ever was that it seemed that earth had eaten up or something liked that; three months had passed and there was no trace of them. Three months, for god's sake!
They had researched everything but almost all the leads they had were just dead ends. He even tried to contact his anonymous informant, but the number was disabled. It appeared that he had lost again his chances to caught 452 one more time.
There was only one lead to follow and it was his only chance to succeed. According to the records, Linda Eastman (452's name on the boy's birth certificate) was from New York City, and his men located some addresses and phone numbers with that name there. There was a slim chance that one of them belongs to 452, but he wasn't going to discard anything. He was going to find her even if life was taken away from him while he was trying.
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"You don't look surprised" Max said, trying to hide his joy. Maybe her chances to be happy with Alec weren't doomed after all.
Alec grinned. "I'm not. In my heart I knew it the first time I saw him. But it still feels great to hear you saying it. I just have one question for you" His stare was serious now. "Why did you lie to me, Max? "
"I didn't, Alec. It's just that… when I discovered that you … that you were the father of my child, it was too late. I tried to catch you, but then the explosions happened…" She looked at him intensely. "I was so afraid that the government had caught you and I'd never see you again"
"oh, Max, if I knew it… " Alec said sadly. " the explosions were our diversion for the escape and I gave the order. If only I had waited a little bit more… "
"… The army and White would caught you for sure" Max completed his sentence. "Alec, you did what you had to do. It was my fault, only my fault that we were separated all these years and that you missed Ben's first years. You can't imagine how much I regret it. All these years away from you was torture for me."
"For me too." He kissed her again, pulling her naked body close to him. "So did you tell Logan? I mean, when you discovered the truth"
"No, I thought that I could outsmart him, that his love for me would leave him blind and he wouldn't be able to see the truth. I wanted Ben to have a real family, the kind we never had, and I really thought Logan could provide it to us both… and for a while I thought I really fooled him... but I didn't. Years passed and he became colder with him. At first I thought it was because I was so overprotective and Logan was only trying to balance things, but it wasn't like that at all…. I was so selfish, only thinking about my baby and me; I never stopped to see how he was feeling. My love for Ben didn't let me see what was going on inside Logan's head until it was too late. And now it's my entire fault that my little boy is in danger ", she said, trying to contain the tears I wont' cry… Alec is with me now, I won't cry anymore
Alec could see her inner struggle. And in that moment he clearly realized that the woman in front of him wasn't the Max he used to know. She was stronger, not physically, but emotionally. She wasn't anymore the stubborn chick who can be easily provoked to fight. Ben's presence in her life had changed her. He knew that she might have been through hell and back, that she might live a lonely life, without love and isolated from her kind, but she endured it because she thought it was the only way to ensure her son's happiness. And when he understood it, he admired her more than ever. And he also understood that Logan hadn't made her happy at all, but he could sense that there was a missing piece from the puzzle… There was something else that she wasn't still telling him.
"Max, but you haven't answered my question. Why isn't Logan with you? Even if he knew that Ben wasn't his, he isn't the kind of person that could leave you alone with this problem. And how did White get wind of you?"
"I told you that Logan hates Ben. I don't know when he started to feel like that, maybe since he was born, but…"
"He was the one who alerted White, wasn't he?" Alec said suddenly, not knowing how that particular thought started in his mind. Max's horrified face told him what he needed to know.
"Son of a bitch! Why would he do that? Ben is only an innocent boy!" Alec said with disbelief, half of himself unable to picture Logan as such a monster, but the other half certain of it.
"But in his sick mind he isn't innocent, Alec." Alec looked at her, surprised of her response. "In his mind, you and Ben are the ones to blame of my lack of love for him, among of other things. And as you weren't available for punishment, he decided to take revenge on Ben."
"But it isn't fair!. Why does a boy have to pay for the sins of his parents? I understand if he hates me, if he doesn't like Ben because he looks like me, but why calling White? Why not just disappear from your lives? I mean, you're legally married and a divorce could settle things fine."
"I don't know for sure, but I think he didn't want to divorce. I mean, I discovered about his involvement with White just because Ben wasn't capture by White, and I decided to run away to save him. If White had caught Ben as it was planned, I'd never know about it." Logan's words still resonated in her ears. "You just need to turn him in and everything's gonna be fine, Max. They don't know about you, only about him" "He just wanted to disappear Ben from his life, not me. He still loves me in his own sick way. And that makes him more dangerous than White."
"I'll protect him, Max." Alec said and resolution sounded clear on his voice "I won't let Logan or White or anyone else harm Ben even if I have to sacrifice my own life to do it. I promise."
Max couldn't control her emotions anymore. She just put her face on his chest and started to cry, like she hadn't done in a lot of time.
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"Hi, Asha, it's me, Logan."
It sounded really stupid, but he didn't know what else to say.
"Logan, what the hell are you doing? I thought I made clear the last time we talked that I didn't want to talk to you ever. EVER! And do you know what time is here, in NY? 3 am in the morning, Logan! I have to work and a child … " A really angry Asha said, yelling at the phone.
"I know Asha, I know! It's just that I'm desperate and I need S1W help", Logan said, swallowing his pride. Max was more important than an angry Asha.
"I thought I made clear that the S1W ended any kind of relationship with you, Logan. We can't help you. We don't want to"
"You are the one who doesn't want to help me, Asha, not the S1W. I know I'd probably deserve it, but you and your group owe EO big time… "
"Of course you deserve it, you idiot! Treating my child and me like you did! So the answer is no, whatever you might want…" Asha yelled. It felt really good to yell at him She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. "Besides, you said YOU needed help, not EO. S1W owe EO, not you" Asha said suspiciously.
"It's a job that EO is doing for me, as a favor." Logan said quickly. He needed to be more careful about EO identity. He almost forgot that he'd never reveal Asha EO's true identity. And this wasn't a good time to do it. Not when Max was at stake. "And we need your help. Innocents are involved, Asha. Haven't you seen your emails recently? All the information is there."
"I saw your email, but I deleted it, like all the things from you. What do you think I would do after what you did?
"Asha, please, I know I did wrong… and I know you must be angry… but please…" Logan said, trying to sound remorseful, even when he wasn't at all.
Asha wasn't ready to give up yet. "What is EO doing for you, by the way? I suppose it must be something really important, if EO is willing to help you." She said, trying to sound casual and uninterested.
"It's about Max and my… son" He said hesitant. He couldn't tell Asha the truth, so he decided to go for the sentimental way. He could be really convincing when he wanted to. "Someone kidnapped them three months ago, a former government agent who was hunting the transgenics after their escape from Manticore. Maybe you remember him… His name is Ames White. He took them and I haven't known about them since them" Logan said all this with his most distressed tone of voice, trying to make the right impression on Asha. He knew Asha was a good woman, and he'd decided to take advantage of it.
Asha sensed the sadness in Logan's voice and she felt sympathetic despite their past. She knew how much he loved Max and she could only imagine how desperate he might be with her disappearance. And there was the boy too. She remembered how proud Logan was when Max was about to give birth to his child. She couldn't be so cruel to not help him, even if she didn't like him right now. Max and her kid deserve a chance to live
"Ok, if you send me again the information, I'll send it to my S1W contacts. But I can't promise you anything. It has been a long time and they could be dead by now. And for the record, I'm doing it just for Max and the kid, not for you."
"I know, Asha. And please, don't say Caitlin I called"
"I won't. I don't want to see the disappointment in her face." Asha was about to hang up, but she decided to keep talking instead. "Wait. I just wanna know something. Have you ever tell Max? About Caitlin?"
"No. She'd abandon me if I did" Logan said and he hang up without thinking, leaving Asha on the other side of the line, wondering how on earth she ended up in love with a man who never loved her back.
o – o – o – o - o – o – o – o
A/N: ok, I know I introduced other things, but well, let me know whether you liked them or not…
o – o – o – o - o – o – o – o
Tks for your encouragement… it means a lot!
Ro : I'm smiling too :D and yeah, she's telling him in this very chapter… I hope you liked it
AmyLynn: Tks a lot! I'm sorry I kept you waiting so long :( … but here's the update and your answer…
Calistra : Tks ! sure he is smart! Like you said, just like his daddy… :D Tks for adding me to your alerts…
Alec'sAngel494: Sorry for the waiting… I hope you liked this one :)
Kelzaa: Tks! Well, I'll keep you wondering a little bit longer about it … hehe …
4eva Jensen: Yes, they're going to be a family, definitively! But not yet… just wait a little bit, I promise it won't take me this long to update again…
AngelKougaeri: I hope you like this one too…
Suenooneus: Tks, I'm really glad you liked it…
Pillow of doom: you also made my day when I read your review… Tks for your comments! I just hope you didn't have problems with your boss, hehe :D
Pola: I'm sorry I can't pleased you about the rating, but you can fill in the blanks... hehe ;P and about when Max's telling Ben, next chapter, for sure!
Aur: Yeah, ch5 was quick, unlike this one… I'm sorry! This chapter has a kind of romantic scene, and I promise I'll keep your suggestion in mind. And tks for your good wishes… it means a lot :D
HoneyX5-452: I'm glad you like it! Unfortunately Ben didn't appear in this chapter, but he'll be in the next one.
Alana84: I'm glad you liked the fight and the love scene, I enjoyed a lot writing both… and yeah, Logan is all that… and you probably will be hating him more
Serenity Wintirs: Tks for your advise, and I'll have it in mind for the following chapters. I'm glad you liked it even with the bad stuff.
Secret adm : Here I am! ;P
Bell: Thanks for your comments! I'm glad you liked last chapter… and about Ben, believe me, I'm still figuring out that…
Army girl: well, it wasn't soon, but here's the update, I hope you like it :D
EminemIsCool: I'll try to update Timeline too, but I can't promise anything soon. I need to correct some things there before I continued it…
Salcyra: Thank you! I'm pleased you like it… here's the update! I hope you enjoyed it ;P