Disclaimer: I don't own G.I. Joe or "T'was The Night Before Christmas".

"T'was The Night Before Christmas Leave"
By: J.T. Magnus, Turbo

T'was the night before Christmas Leave and all through The Pit,
Not a Greenshirt or Joe was stirring, except for the night watch.
The Duty Roster was sorted out and laid carefully on the General's desk,
And all those not on it would be gone and away upon these, the holidays.
The team was nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Cobra-free days danced in their heads.

(I suspect that Barrel Roll and Blackout's still was involved somehow.)

I leaned back at the main computer, a quiet night for a change,
When the intruder alarm went off and caused such a clatter,
I sprang up in my seat to see what was the matter.
To the security monitors, my eyes moved like a flash,
It seemed like before most of us went on vacation, we'd have to kick ass.
The moon shone clear on the desert night,
And unlike what alarms and instincts screamed, everything looked alright.
With a call to Hi-Tech to relieve me, I went to the top,
And what I saw there made me stand and stop.
In a hanger of Conquests and Storm Eagles sat a sleigh,
Powered not by jet engines, but by eight reindeer.

(Either St. Nick was here or Cobra Commander had lost it,
And the latter seemed more likely to me than the former.)

True, it seemed, my thoughts were, when my hand passed through where the leader stood,

(A holographic trick, two months too late)

And in the corner of my eye, what did I see but a grey-clad Firefly.

"WIDESCOPE! SHOCKWAVE! LAW and ORDER!
BARRICADE! SURESHOT! MUTT and JUNKYARD!
Intruder Alert! Intruder Alert! Firefly's in the Hanger!"

Into my Gauntlet with a fury I screamed.
From all entrances, Joes into the hanger poured,
Security, Mechanics, and an annoyed Beachhead and Cover Girl.

(In civilian clothes, those two, appearantly back from a night on the town)

Toward the saboteur with anger they flew,
Ready to punch him into the wall or the roof.
Then with an explosion, the wall fell in,
And the fence came down before HISSes and STUNs,
Explosions and MG fire lit up the night,
As Greenshirts and Joes joined in the fight.
HISSes against MOBATs,
VAMPs against STUNs,
If they were smart,
They should have chose to run.
Stupid snakes, don't they know?
If you want to have a good night, don't wake G.I. Joe.
With a smirk on my face and guns in my hands,
I gave a loud "Yo, JOE!" as I joined the fray,
Valor and freedom would win the day.
In the dark of night, a shining light,
To drive the serpentine demons away.

(Definately need to lay off the twins' 'special' eggnog...)

A battle hard-fought,
And daybreak did show,
The victory was ours,
and again we cried, "Yo, JOE!"
He slept through the battle,
through the gunfire and bombs,
but the Tomahawk awoke to our victory cry.
After we filled him in, he looked slowly around,
then he said with a grin,

"An extra week of Leave to all...
Now get out of my sight."