Maybe It Was Something I Ate…
Post-Ep for The Al Smith Dinner
Teen for a naughty word or two.
A/N: I really wish they hadn't cut away from Josh in the car so quick…
Previously: "Get Joey to put that question in tomorrow's poll," Josh instructed Lou.
"I'm on it," replied Lou, cell phone already dialed and pressed to her ear.
Donna's gaze flicked briefly to Josh before she faced forward again.
Josh stared at the back of Donna's head, not easy to do with Bram sitting in between them. Bram glanced at Josh but lowered his eyes quickly when he saw Josh's expression. It was not a pleasant one. Josh looked like he might have an upset stomach, as if something he'd eaten hadn't agreed with him. Bram would have been correct in his diagnosis – sort of.
What Josh had eaten wasn't food – it was part crow, part humble pie. And neither one was sitting well on his stomach just now.
Josh turned his gaze to the scenery passing by the window, but he wasn't really seeing anything outside. What his mind was seeing was a different Donna. This was not the Donna who had been his trusted assistant for almost eight years. No, this Donna was a far cry from the shy, almost waif-like girl he'd found in his office in Manchester. This Donna, this woman was mature, confident and…hardened. There was an edge to her now, 'Bambi has left the forest, folks' he thought with a mental grunt. Donna apparently had managed to impress Lou, not an easy feat as Josh knew all too well.
'Where did she develop such an edge?' Josh mused silently. He had noticed her restlessness after Germany, especially once she had regained her mobility. But as usual Josh tried to push away the knowledge that she was outgrowing her current position. By quitting as she did, Donna forced him to take a hard look at his own situation, which is how he wound up in Houston on Matt Santos' doorstep. Josh knew deep down that she had only been doing what she needed to do – prove herself outside of the sphere of his influence. He had been loathe to expand her duties for fear he'd lose the best assistant he'd ever had, yet she had been ready for so much more for so long. And by going to work for the Russell campaign, she'd gone and proven just how ready she had been.
The first time Josh had caught one of Donna's press conferences, he had been floored by how well Donna handled it. He could detect a little bit of CJ in her delivery, and possibly a touch of Toby, but the rest was all Donna. It became an unconscious habit to make sure to catch her daily conferences whenever he could. Now here she was spokeswoman for the Santos/McGarry campaign, in spite of his best efforts to the contrary. And as a result here he sat, willing his stomach to quiet down. He was starting to realize that Donna's leaving the White House was never really about leaving him, it was about her needing to move on with her career. And she had done well for herself, the chicken incident notwithstanding. If he were truly honest about it, it was his own damn fault. He had been a selfish jerk. He had been wrong to hold her back and he really needed to admit it to her soon, otherwise his stomach lining might not survive until Election Day.
Bram snuck another peek at Josh. It seemed to him that Josh still looked a little green around the gills, so he decided to test the waters.
"Josh, are you okay? You look a little queasy there."
Donna swiveled around at Bram's words and took a closer look at Josh. He did look a little uncomfortable, but she would be willing to wager that his "indigestion" was not food-induced. No, she was pretty certain that a few uncomfortable truths had finally penetrated Joshua Lyman's thick skull. Josh had turned away from the window in response to Bram's inquiry at the same time Donna turned around. The two locked gazes, Donna raising an eyebrow as if to say, 'finally figured it out, didn't you?' Josh's look in return was of shame and penitence 'Yes, I am an ass and I was wrong, and though I don't deserve you, can we try to fix this?' With a slight nod, Donna faced forward again. For Josh, her nod was a life preserver, maybe there was a way they could get back what they had, or more.
His train of thought was interrupted by Bram.
"Josh, are you alright?"
Josh shook himself, and focused on Bram. By this time Lou was looking sideways at Josh, wondering just what the hell was going on with him. Josh decided to go with humor.
"Sorry, my mind was elsewhere for a minute. I'm fine Bram, probably just a little indigestion from something I ate earlier. A tainted taco, perhaps."
"Or maybe it's the anticipation of yet another four star rubber chicken dinner at the fundraiser tonight. The mind is very persuasive where Josh's stomach is concerned."
Donna quipped from the back seat. A small smile graced Josh's face because her comment let him know that his message had been received and accepted. 'It's a place to start'.
Bram and Lou just looked at each other. They got the feeling that the current conversation didn't require any contribution from them, so they each went back to what they had been doing. Donna snuck a peek back at Josh to find that he was gazing out the window once again.
But this time there was a smile on his face, and a dimple pointed in her direction.