Chapter 20: A Hangover and Yoko

Though they stood still for a long time, simply breathing in the scent of the other and ignoring everything around them. Somehow or another they separated and went back to the common room, James holding onto Lily's hand awkwardly. He couldn't help being surprised that he wasn't being pushed away. She'd never given an indication that she did not want him to--on the contrary, she looked somewhat pleased that he was-- but before now it had not seemed right.

"Do you remember," Lily said quietly, "that you were afraid to hold my hand this summer?" she smiled, and he did too. The person he was then was so distant and different, or otherwise seriously misinformed, because James found that he enjoyed holding Lily's hand immensely.

When they reached the common room and gave the password, they were greeted by a very drunken Peter.

"Hallo there, lads." he said, his voice slurred, "This is…the bloody best party I've ever seen, eh? Shame I didn't get one so--so good for mine, eh?" He giggled, then stumbled out of the portrait hole.

"We should probably stop him." James said offhandedly, "Being Head students and all."

Lily looked up at him with her eyebrows raised.

"I forgot that you started caring." she said lightly, "That's impressive."

"Well, I was going to say 'screw that', but now that you've reminded me…" he rolled his eyes and Lily laughed.

"We really should stop him, though. Especially since it's your fault that there's alcohol around at all."

James sighed dramatically, then ran to catch up with Peter. With some gentle but firm words, he managed to coax him back through the portrait hole, patting him on the back and declaring to Lily that James was a "bloody beautiful boy, bloody fucking beautiful." James smiled at that. Peter rarely swore, but managed to do so profusely when he was drunk.

"Jaaaaaaammmmmmmmmie." Sirius called, gliding toward them from across the room, "Lily, darling, so happy to see you've taken care of this one." he planted a sloppy kiss on her cheek.

"Hello, Sirius." she said, "It'd be rather redundant to ask you if you were drunk, wouldn't it?" She clearly disapproved, a crease appearing in her forehead, but she didn't say anything.

"Don't use words big words." he laughed wildly, then turned to James.

"Happy birthday!" he said loudly, "I've forgotten your present this year."

"It's alright." James said, knowing that later he'd be sure to give him a hard time about it. James didn't particularly want a present, but he knew he couldn't just let Sirius get away with it. As Sirius laughed and called out to someone else, Lily said, her frown deepening,

"That reminds me--did your Mum send you something?"

James looked down, and it was clear to him that she was worried that this would cause further tension between him and his parents. He shook his head.

"No, they give me my presents when--"

"Sorry, I can't hear you." Lily said, smiling apologetically. James realized then that he had been talking quietly in a loud room, while Lily and everyone else had been talking loudly. Not feeling like shouting, he lead Lily to the stairs to the dormitories, where it was quieter.

"Now, what were you saying?" Lily asked.

"My parents give me my presents when I go home for Christmas because they don't fit in the post."

"Oh really? I suppose that means they buy you ridiculously large things that you barely get to use?"

"Not to mention ridiculously expensive."

"James, darling, that was a given."

"A lot of it's really cool, though." James said, running a hand through his hair, "There's--well, you'll see it over Christmas break, won't you?"

"I will?" Lily tilted her head back slightly, "I don't think so."

"You live right near me though!" he exclaimed, confused.

"I'm not going home."

"But--"

"James, I can't go home. That would be needlessly forcing myself on my family, and it'd just make us all miserable."

James felt like an idiot. She'd told him about her sister. Not to mention there would be memories of her mother in that house. He didn't blame her for not wanting to go home.

"So you'll just stay…"

"Yes. I'll stay here over Christmas. You'd better owl me!" She gave him a small, sad smile, and he wanted, overwhelmingly, to invite her home with him. In fact, he opened his mouth to do so when he remembered his mother. She was prejudiced and trying to set James up with a veela's daughter, and no doubt she would make Lily just as uncomfortable, if not more so, as if she had gone home.

It was as though Lily saw what he was thinking, because she put a hand on his shoulder reassuringly.

"It's fine. I'm--I'm interested to see what Christmas here is like." She took her hand from his shoulder and took his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. He returned it, and, after giving each other comforting glances, they went to their separate dormitories.

"You did? Are you bloody fucking kidding me?"

"Er--no."

It was the next morning, and, as James reflected after the fact, it wasn't the best time to have told Sirius that he'd basically admitted how he felt to Lily. Especially because Sirius had a terrible hangover and had run out of his private store of Pepperup potion.

"Why?" Sirius asked, "Why would you do something so bloody stupid?"

"She told me first!" James said defensively, "What was I supposed to do, lie and say that I didn't like her?"

"You could've!" Seeing the incredulous look on James's face, Sirius ground his knuckles into his head and groaned miserably.

"Look," he said through gritted teeth, "have you heard of Florence bloody Nightingale?"

"What?"

"Florence Nightingale. Muggle nurse."

"Why are you bringing up--"

"Just listen, alright? Florence Nightingale was some old Muggle nurse, and she fell in love with her patients. You're not a nurse, but that's you, mate!"

James stared, wondering if alcohol poisoning had driven his friend crazy.

"You can't go out with her now! You fancy her because she's a bloody crying mess!"

"Er--"

"What're you going to do when she turns back into her old sugar-cookie-baking self?"

"She doesn't bake sugar cookies." James said, absently wondering if she actually did, and, if so, if she'd make some for him.

"Sure. The point is once she goes back to her old self, it'll be like John and Yoko. She'll break up our whole fucking band!"

James stiffened. Even he knew who John Lennon and Yoko Ono were.

"Look, why don't you shut up." James muttered, any remainder of a good mood he might have had evaporating, "Some friend you are, telling me she's bloody Yoko."

It seemed that Sirius realized that he'd struck a nerve, because then he said, his tone placating,

"I didn't mean it like that. I just meant you need to think about what you're doing. James, this is your first girlfriend, for Christ's sake!"

"Is not. I went out with Celestina…"

"For a week, and she was using you 'cause she knew you had connections in the record business."

James crossed his arms and started toward the door of their dormitory. Sirius let out a loud sound of frustration.

"If it makes you feel better, I knew you'd probably end up with her anyway."

James stopped and ran a hand through his hair.

"It doesn't, really. Maybe if I didn't think you were saying it because you want me to fetch you some Pepperup potion from Pomfrey…"

"Oh, would you?" Sirius brightened up considerably.

"No. Get up, you prat, we've got classes. Remus and Peter've already gone, and Peter was more drunk than you were."

Sirius dragged himself off his bed and said, dully,

"Nobody gets more drunk than me. Ever."

James couldn't tell if Sirius said it because he was proud or ashamed.

When he sat down in the Great Hall, the first thing that James noticed was that Lily wasn't there.

It didn't bother him at first--after all, she'd probably woken up late as he had. But by the time he'd finished breakfast (and had been asked at least four times, by people in various states of shock, whether he was dating Lily Evans), he was worried. Lily never missed breakfast.

When he asked Remus and Peter whether they'd seen her, they shook their heads no, though Peter seemed distracted. When James asked him about it, he turned deep red and muttered a quick 'nothing' before scurrying out of the hall. This caused James to be even more confused, and to steadfastly try and ignore the look Sirius was giving him, practically trying to penetrate into his thoughts. Absentmindedly, he ran his finger over his scar, and was slightly cheered up by the fact that it no longer hurt. He had been carefully avoiding it the last few weeks, which was why he hadn't known.

Lily didn't take potions, which was what he had first, so the whole class he couldn't figure out if she was simply not at breakfast or not going to classes. The next class, History of Magic, he did have with her, and he was pleased to see that she was sitting in her usual seat. She looked a bit tired, but other than that, she looked like her usual self. Ignoring Professor Binns, who was also looking more tired than usual that day, he spent the whole time trying to get her attention. She didn't or wouldn't notice, even when he tried to toss a note at her asking where she'd been. After class was over, he caught up with her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Are you alright?" he murmured in her ear, noticing, with some discomfort, that several people were staring interestedly.

"Yes." she said, her voice matching his in quietness, "But I figured that you didn't appreciate all the attention we got from just hand-holding. I didn't want to embarrass you…"

"Who the hell cares about them?" James asked, his voice much louder as he said this. Though he had said it for some added bravado, he found himself believing in his words wholeheartedly. The person who's opinion he really cared about was Sirius, and it'd be the same whether he and Lily talked to each other or not. His loud statement caused everyone who had been staring to look away hurriedly, and he nodded in approval at his own handiwork.

Lily smiled at this.

"That's sweet." she said, taking his hand and walking with him in silence.

They went to lunch together, and James sat to Sirius's left as Lily sat to Sirius's right, earning her curious looks from both Sirius and James. She ignored them, heaping large mounds of food onto her plate.

"Lily," James said, surprised, "you're actually eating?"

Lily glanced up, though she quickly turned her eyes back to her plate.

"It was the most wonderful thing," she said, putting her plate down and lifting her fork, "this morning I woke up and I was hungry." This remark was lost on Sirius, but not on James, who watched her begin to dig into her food ravenously.

"That's really good." he said, and it was.

The whole time, Peter had been goggling at them, though Remus had simply watched them with a bored expression that said he already knew what had happened.

"Peter, for the love of God pull yourself together." Sirius said irritably, "You would think if you're not hung over, you'd at least try to act like you're not an idiot." James noticed faint puffs of steam coming out of Peter's ears at irregular intervals, something he did not find with Sirius. James smiled to himself. It was clear that only one of them had gotten their hands on some Pepperup potion.

About five minutes into the meal, they were approached by Marlene, who looked a little apprehensive.

"Hello." she said anxiously, staring at the floor, "I've--er--I've come to bring you something." She shoved a letter at them, which Remus took and opened.

"This is--"

"You can't say anything." Marlene looked up, and her eyes held a warning, "Just read it, all of you, and--" she stopped and noticed Lily for the first time. She smiled, and Lily smiled back, as though there was a secret passing between them. Marlene handed Lily a letter of her own, then continued as though nothing had happened, "then destroy it. Dumbledore's orders."

"Why does she get her own letter?" Sirius complained, "We all have to share."

Marlene shrugged, turning red as she realized that Sirius was staring at her.

"I didn't make them up." she mumbled, "I just deliver them." She was about to turn away when she added, as an afterthought, "It was nice to see you all." she gave them a wave, and then gave Lily one more appreciative smile before hurrying off the Ravenclaw table.

"She's no dog, is she?" Sirius asked thoughtfully, "I wouldn't mind--"

"Don't even, Sirius." Lily said sharply, though her face remained impassive, "She has a boyfriend."

Sirius looked at the other three Marauders, as though asking Can you believe this?. Remus, however, nodded approvingly at what Lily had said and Peter was busy reading the letter that Remus had handed him.

"So, what is it then?" James asked Lily, breaking the awkward silence. She handed him the letter, which said,

Dear Ms. Evans,

A meeting is being held tonight to discuss a special defense league that is forming in response to the increasingly violent attacks against Muggles, Muggle-borns, and those who support them. It will be held in my office at eight thirty, and let it be known that I have always been especially particular to Toffee.

You have received this letter because, of the many people who attend this school, I have extreme faith in your discretion and loyalty.

Sincerely,

Professor Dumbledore

Headmaster

James looked around at the rest of them, wide-eyed. It appeared that they were as intrigued as he was.

"So we're going, right?" he asked, handing the letter over to Lily and looking at Sirius for confirmation. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"You idiot, why wouldn't we? A chance to 'accidentally' murder Snape while he's running around playing Death Eater? Brilliance!" This caused him to look a good deal more cheerful than he'd been before, and he dug into his food with almost the same amount of vigor that Lily had.

"Lily?"

Lily looked slightly troubled by what Sirius said, but she nodded her head vigorously.

"Of course. Dumbledore trusts us." The pride in her voice was clear, and James couldn't help feeling pride swell in his chest as well.

"Moony? Wormtail?" They nodded, and Lily raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

"Those names are interesting. I mean, I can understand why M--" she stopped, going slightly pale.

"Sorry." she said quickly. James had to think for a minute before he realized what she was going to say. She was going to say something about understanding 'Moony' because she knew that Remus was a werewolf. He had forgotten that she knew about that. He ignored the questioning glances that were being exchanged by the rest of them, hoping that they would not question him about it later. Lily set her letter on fire to give herself an excuse not to look at them, and James followed suit with the other letter.

Peter looked down at his watch and let out a sound that could only be described as a squeak.

"I have to go." he said quickly, "I forgot that I have--well, I need to go." He got up, the food on his plate only half-eaten, and hurried away.

"What was that about?" Remus asked, frowning. James frowned too. If Remus didn't know, then something strange was going on.

"He's been acting like a real clumsy bugger lately." Sirius commented, "Jumpy, y'know?"

A silence fell on them, and James's eyes happened to land on Lily. She was steadfastly avoiding looking at any of them.

"Lily?" She looked up, and he knew that she knew what was going on. He felt his heart fill with dread. What wouldn't she tell them?

"It's nothing bad." she said quickly, giving him a reassuring smile, "I just can't say, that's all. It wouldn't be fair." He felt a wave relief wash over him.

"Well, fuck it." Sirius said loudly, pushing his plate away, "If she knows more about it than Lupin, we're all going to hell." In spite of that, James could see that Sirius looked relieved too. Even though they never talked about it or acknowledged it, sometimes they worried about Peter.

Well, there are several things to address in this chapter: First, if you love Yoko Ono, please don't flame me. If you hate Yoko Ono, I'm not joining a hate club, either. And if you are Yoko Ono, please don't sue me for using your name. Ditto on the topic of Florence Nightingale, though the likelihood of her reading this is far slimmer than that of Yoko, as she's dead.(See all the trouble one has to go through when using the names of real people?). If your wondering where Sirius is getting all these Muggle references from, don't ask me; he collects them here and there, and he likes to think he's clever ;) I swear, people are going to kill me for making Sirius such a prat.

Next, I mentioned that James dated a 'Celestina', who, as you may or may not realize, is Celestina Warbeck, the famous singing sorceress.In book six, it clearly states that Mr.and Mrs. Weasley--whoare quite a few years older than James and co.-- listened to one of her songs when they were teenagers. Lucky for me, this story is AU, so I can ignore such canon if I so choose (though mycreative excuse is that they listened to that song and Celestina remade it later on).

Lastly--back toFlorence Nightingale. Sirius is refering to Florence Nightingale Syndrome, when a nurse falls inlove with their patient. He's got it a bit messed up, which is why I'm mentioning it.

Okay, with that all out of the way, let me next say this: OMG 289! That is brilliant! Thank you so much. That is so much more than I actually expected this story to get, and it always manages to make me squeal like a fangirl.

Thank you, ever so much, to: sugur-huny-bun, Evercare (Goodness, how I love your reviews. You see the characters exactly how I hope people will see them, and I'm glad that last chapter was your favorite, because I think it's my favorite so far, too. And to hear that the characters have matured is good, too, because that's what I'm aiming for more than anything. Thank you so much! ;D), taniita (lol! I'm glad it made you giddy. That's my favorite sort of romantic read, after all. And I'm glad that you like how I didn't have them kiss, because I was afraid that I'd be attacked by rabid readers demanding that they snog NOW.), ElspethRenee, Siriusly.Mad.for.Sweets (Yeah, it is extreme, which is why she didn't tell him. She knew that it was too, though it's probably no different than being in love with...Johnny Depp, for example.James ispopular, even if he doesn't realize it. And Snape should be coming...in a couple of chapters, I think. We'll see more with him and Lily then.), Lady Radcliffe (Oh, that review definitely had me grinning. After I started writing, I realized that she reminded me of Stargirl, too! If I recall, the ending of that book was sad, wasn't it? Oh, now I want to read it again.), Blackness Angel (thank you so much forall of your reviews. It was nice to hear what you thought of each chapter, and I'm so glad you took the time to do it. I was particularly happy to hear what you thought of Coronation Street because, as I've said, I've never seen it. Funny how I happened to pick out the boring onefor Lily to love! Oh, well. And this is seventh year.), Countess Jackman (Alas, Lily and James arerather timid as far as their relationship goes. They're honest, but timid. Not to mention if James kissed Lily, it'd be like when Harry kissed Cho; she'd be crying all over him ;D), GoddessoftheMaaN(glad you liked it!), czarina-kathryn (Thank you for that! And I haven't had time to review, but I have to say that I love your story Kissing the Enemy. This might sound odd, but I'm in love with your chapter titles ;D), sodafizzz9, Laina3 (Thank you! I loathe my penname, and therefore take it upon myself to commend people for being brilliant in the creation of theirs. Whether yours was creative or not, it sounds beautiful), keanu (I love to hear that you're excited! And gorgeous? Wow, I wouldn't go that far, but thank you for that :D), man eating plant (It's okay that you didn't review last chapter! Honestly, holidaying in outback Australia sounds like much more fun, lol.), Kaitsy (I loved your last chapter. And as I said in my most recent review, that first review was no problem, as I really am starting to worship your writing. I'm glad you liked 'The Floor'- it amused me, because that's just how I imagine a boy's dormitory would be. I'm glad you like their relationship, and I'm surprised to hear you like the first chapter, even more so to hear that it's your favorite first chapter ever! Because there really are some brilliant first chapters floating around.Thank you thank you thank you, those last three sentences made me giddy :D), yellowcard-1991 (Wow, you think so? Thank you so much!), and May Olivia (I completely understand being busy. I love to hear that you're excited about it, because it makes me excited too! And thank you for saying to take my time--even though I try to put the chapters out quick, it's nice to know that people would understand if I wasn't able to.)