chaye710-Awesome! A new reviewer! You win a prize! Thanks for the compliments—enjoy!

BlackLupin- All is forgiven. And I'm busy working on TBYA as I write this—it's got almost 4000 words so far! I'm kind of behind, I know… but I put aside a lot of time today for writing just for you! I'll see what I can do about the Remus situation. Ooh! Brilliant idea has struck the brilliant Mimi. Hehe…

Potts- Yes, Harry is being a hypocrite. –sigh- It pains me to see such young ones be so blind… hehe! JK Well, we'll see what happens next!

Cecilia Orechio- I want to send out a special thank-you to you for this story. You've always been supportive, inquisitive, and left me long reviews! I feel you deserve special thanks! Keep it up! And yes, Sirius would definitely not agree with Harry; that was my point entirely. I do not agree with Harry; Harry does, keep that in mind. Harry is under the false impression that Sirius would approve of everything he is doing at the moment, and, since Sirius isn't there to tell Harry himself, Harry is left to his own assumptions. And the Ginny bit—yes, that's my ultimate goal. We'll see if it works out.

uNoeWho- Could you give me some more feedback, please? I'm glad you're enjoying it!

Chapter 6

January 21

Sirius,

About two hours ago, around midnight, I went to the Common Room and found Ginny Weasley asleep on the couch. I shook her to wake her up, and she just… I don't know. She was drunk and had passed out. She wouldn't wake up, so I sent a message with Hedwig to Hermione to come and open the door to the girls' dormitories. She did, and took Ginny in. After that, I found an empty firewhiskey bottle shoved under the couch.

I feel really bad not telling Hermione where I was going, but I don't think she needed to know. I crept into the kitchen, and Dobby was there, just like I'd hoped. I asked him for a butterbeer, since I didn't feel like sneaking out into Hogsmeade right now. I just feel drugged. I'm so tired, but I can't sleep, so I thought I'd write to you. Dobby brought me bottle after bottle, because I kept telling him that it wasn't strong for humans. After about six, though, I think he began to realize I wasn't quite sober anymore and told me to come straight upstairs.

I'm planning a get-together for Ron, Hermione and me in the Hog's Head tomorrow. I haven't told them yet, but I will first thing in the morning (I mean when they wake up, since it's about 2:30 am now). I hope it'll at least make up for a little bit of what I've done lately, and maybe they'll forgive me. I hope so—I think we really need to patch up our friendship. It's been falling out ever since sixth year.

I really think I'm a bad influence on Ginny. I've found her drinking, cutting class… and I know it's my entire fault. Ron will certainly have my head when he finds out. Maybe I should just break up with her… or whatever you'd call it, since we're not exactly going out. Argh—why do I have to keep telling myself that? Oh well… I'll just talk to her about it and hope she changes the habit. If she doesn't, I'll talk to Ron about her.

Later

Oh Merlin. I was in the Great Hall eating lunch, and Ginny comes up to me and asks, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I tell her. I suppose I looked really tired or something due to lack of sleep.

"Harry, I know you," she says. "It isn't nothing. Really, what is the matter? Did you not sleep?"

"Yes, Ginny," I said tiredly. "Quit pestering me." She looked really offended at that, and I felt really guilty. "Sorry," I said. "I didn't mean that. I guess I'm just grouchy because I didn't get much sleep last night, like you said."

She sits down next to me. "I knew it," she said. "What's on your mind?"

"Just crap, Ginny," is all I say. She pouts.

"Aw, come on, Harry," she says. "You haven't talked to me—really talked to me—in ages. We used to all the time. Tell me—what's wrong with you?"

"I'm just… really confused about a bunch of shit, Ginny," I say.

"Fine, I won't pry," she says, holding up her hands in front of her. Then she gets serious all of a sudden. "Harry… its Friday. What are you doing?"

I don't want to lie to her, so I say, "I'll be up in the dorm, trying to sleep but not succeeding all night." For some reason, at this her eyes lit up.

"Then why don't you come with me? A bunch of my friends and I are going to that new club-type thing they opened in Hogsmeade. Join us!"

"No thanks, Ginny," I say. "Clubs definitely aren't my sort of thing."

"Oh come on, it'll be fun," she pleads. She whines all through lunch, so I finally agree and she squeals.

"Thanks, Harry! Seven o'clock in the Common Room!" she says over her shoulder.

What have I gotten myself into?

January 22

Sirius,

It's three-thirty in the morning right now, but again I can't sleep. I just got back from the Psychic Llama (that's the name of that new club) with Ginny and all her friends. This is what it turned out to be like:

I went downstairs to meet everyone at seven o'clock, and they were already there. It was Ginny, Michael Corner (I guess they remained friends then or something), Neville, Lavendar, Parvati, Luna, and a few other people I didn't know. I wonder why she didn't invite Ron and Hermione? Anyway, we all went down to the club, and while everyone started dancing, I sat down and ordered a drink. The bartender was a little creepy… I think he was new at the whole bartending business and took his job very seriously. He brought me a firewhiskey really quickly. Everyone (including Ginny) was too busy dancing to talk to me. Not that I cared or anything. The place was really boring, and much too bright. The music was loud and hurt my ears—it was like this constant drumming going on inside my head.

After about two hours, Ginny comes over to me, looking breathless and her face was a little red. She pleads with me again, but this time to dance. I tell her no firmly, because dancing isn't my thing.

"Oh, Harry. Everyone can dance—come on."

"Ginny, how many times do you have to ask me? I will not dance. Period."

"Harry, its fun! Come on- let loose a little."

"Ginny! Leave me the fuck alone! I only came because you were whining. I won't give in again! Now leave me alone!"

She looked really hurt and then left. I felt kind of guilty, but I didn't say anything to her. I don't think she danced after that.

Towards the end of the evening, we were preparing to wrap it up, and Ginny pulled me aside while everyone was getting their coats.

"Harry," she said. "I'm really, really sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you into any of that and I know it. From now on, I'll just leave you alone."

"Actually, Ginny," I said, "that's what I want. But you shouldn't be apologizing."

"Why not, Harry?" I swear, that girl is so naïve.

"Never mind, Ginevra," I say sharply and turn away to leave.

"Harry?" she asks softly. For some reason, I turn around, but still have a glare on my face.

"What?"

"I was wondering… if you weren't busy or anything… I mean if you didn't have anything else to do… would you go out with me?"

Sirius, you'll never believe what I did. I said yes. I don't know why! It might be because her eyes were so big and pleading… or because she sounded so sincere… I don't know!

And now I'm in deep shit. Especially with Ron—if I break up with her, he'll break me. I don't want to end up marrying Ginny, Sirius! I don't know how to say no to her, and I don't know how to break any of this off without hurting her. You were an expert on women—tell me, what do I do?

Oh, who the fuck am I kidding? You're not here. You're dead, Sirius. Dead. Why am I even wasting time and ink on this? It's just a bunch of bull. Nothing's 'helping' me, and I don't need help. I can take care of myself. I'm seventeen.

This is all bull.

I just got a letter from Hedwig. I mean, not from Hedwig… oh, never mind. It says:

Mr. Potter,

You need not know who I am. But I will tell you that I can help you. I do not agree with the headmaster Dumbledore about your 'therapy'. You do not have any problems, Mr. Potter. I understand you. You are acting as normally as anyone could. It is the world that is wrong.

Meet me by the witch's hump at midnight tomorrow night. I'm sure you know where that is.

I have to admit, it's a little creepy, but I'll take anything right now. Including a smoke.

Harry