How and why indeed...
Makes me wish I was more creative about my routes home. I knew someone has been following me. I should have known of all people it would have been her. Damn, I'll have to move now...and it's hell finding an apartment in New York let me tell ya.
And as much as I've always wanted an attractive woman wearing nothing but a dress shirt in my bed...Nicole isn't what I planned...
Criminally insane, diabolical, evil Nicole. Serial killer...with really great legs.
"What are you doing here Nicole?"
"Nothing, darling. Just relaxing."
"In my bed?"
"Somewhere I always wanted to rest my bones."
I guess the gun is just so I can stay out of her clutches. I'm still haunted by the touch of her skin and mine. I can't erase it. And yet, I want more of it. But I know, no good could come from it. She's like a poison. But probably the sweetest poison ever made.
Why? Why is she here? She could have just broken in, looked around, and left. I wouldn't have been any the wiser. Why risk getting caught...Well, if it's one thing that I've learned about Nicole it's that she doesn't let you catch her unless she wants you to.
She didn't even move anything. At least from what I can tell. Except the shirt...and, it does look. Very nice.
Stop that! It's Nicole we're talking about!
"What's the matter love? Don't like the shirt...I can take it off..."
"No. Don't. Just. Stay right there. And hands where I can see them."
"Alright. Fine. But in my defense...where would I hide a weapon?"
As she slowly places her hands in front of her, I wonder. Where would she hide a weapon...or do I even want to know. I shudder to think...
"Bobby...I can't think with that thing pointed at me...Oh, I meant the gun."
I can feel the heat rush to my face. I know she saw that; as her laugh tells. She'll never talk if I don't at least show some good faith.
I never take my eyes off of her...I carefully unload my gun. I place the empty gun on my night stand and then lock up the bullets.
"Better?"
"Much...now, are you going to sit down?"
"With you? Now I know...you've lost it."
"Don't be a child. Come, sit here. I don't bite. Unless you'd like me to."
I really want to know what her game is. So, I oblige her. I take a seat right beside her. Never breaking eye contact.
I can see the enjoyment reflected in hers. She wanted to be this close to me; wanted me in my own home. To gain an even stronger hold on me. Not that I think that's even possible. She's almost in every part of me. Not that I can deny it.
"What do you want from me Nicole?"
"A little tit for tat, love. Isn't that all we've ever done?"
She's right. And perhaps that's what keeps bringing me back to her. I feel like I'm the only person on Earth that knows the true Nicole Wallace. And still, I'm not afraid of what I see. As startling as that all seems.
I want to not believe I care for her. But I know I do. I'm almost afraid what she'll ask me. What that voice, dripping with pure evil and sugar, will ask.
Do you want me? Do you need me? Are we ever going to be more than adversaries? Perhaps an evening romp between the sheets...GAH!
I feel her warm hands on my face. I want to just run from it. But. I can't. I'm hypnotized by her touch.
"Nicole..."
"Sssshhh, love. I just want to feel your skin on mine. That one touch. Its in me. I couldn't hide from it. I just kept running. Getting any touch I could...but it wasn't what I yearned for. And after this last encounter, after you yet again ruined my best laid plans..."
"You were going to..."
"Save Gwen,Bobby. That was always the plan."
You know, with her hands on my throat, I'm not going to argue. I know she has the power to kill me, if she really wanted. So, I'll play along. For my own morbid curiosity.
Feeling her hands slide down to my arms, I'm almost grateful.
"Now, where was I. Oh yes. Plans. You were never in my plan Bobby. I never encountered anyone like you. Someone I can conquer. Someone that is exactly like me..."
"I. I am not like you Nicole."
"Come now, you know you are...without that badge and gun...who are you?"
"Who are you? You've got no one Nicole. Everyone that you've ever loved, you've distroyed. They all end up dead. You are a killer. A cold, heartless killer."
"You're wrong Bobby. I've got you."
"You most certainly do not. Have me."
Maybe that's what she wanted. Just to mind fuck me here. So I'll never again rest in my own bed without thinking of her. What she doesn't know is...I already think of her when I'm trying to sleep.
"You kill everyone that you've ever loved to keep them from turning on you. Just so you won't have to endure that pain."
I can see the defeat. I got her. This time.
" Oh Bobby, I love you, and I most certainly would never kill you. How about that? I just said..."
Did she just? She did. Nicole...Loves me. Somehow I'm not surprised.
"That you love me. Well, stranger things have happened. When did you know?"
She laughs. "From the moment we met."
"I see."
"So, it's your turn love...what about you? Do you love me?"
I hesitate. If I say no, then she'll know it's a lie. If anyone could know that, it would be her.
What do I say? What good could it do...her hands again, on my thigh. Does she know I've had dreams about this very moment...has she?
"It's taken me quite awhile to admit it. But...Nicole...what good will this do?"
"It'll do me some good. Out with it."
"I love you Nicole. And if things where different...if I could have met you before any of this. Before you'd done all these terrible things. I would have. We could have."
The silence from this revelation is deafening. We just sit and take in the words that still hang in the air.
I wish I could have changed her. Made her believe that not every man is here to hurt her. I would have taken care of her broken heart. Given her everything I had, just to make her smile. I would never have been afraid of what darkness haunts her deepest sleep. If anyone could have saved Nicole from drowning in her own despair, it's me.
And if anyone knows anything at all about inner demons, it's me. Childhood wasn't exactly pleasant on this continent either.
As we sit here, my mind suddenly is rushed with thoughts of the two of us. Together. With a family. Talking walks, watching them play...it's depressing. Heartbreaking. Tragic.
"God has a cruel sense of humor. Doesn't he?"
"Irony, Nicole. This is irony."
She nods. And for only the second time since I've known her, I see tears sliding down her cheeks. And both times, I've been the source of the tears. It pains me to see it. I don't like making women cry; seeing them cry. It...it just rips the heart out of my chest.
She tries to control the pain. The hurt we both share in knowing. That we could never be. But, it gets the better of her. She puts her head down and sobs.
I put my arms around her and pull her into me. If for nothing else, so she can be comforted while she's in pain. She still fights it a little; another sure sign that this is something foreign to her...
"Bobby...do you know. That, uh, no one's ever held me while I cried before..."
"You're. Welcome."
She says nothing. I'll take that as thanks enough. In this moment, Nicole Wallace is human. All that pain she's held in for so long; it's like she's letting go of it. Like she wants to feel something other than that for once.
As she gazes up at me, nothing but adoration in her eyes, I see that innocent girl she once was. The world open to her. Long before her father destroyed it.
She leans in and whispers...
"What now?"
I wonder myself...