Bobby POV

I can't believe this. I can't sleep because she was there. Because I kissed her...because she wanted this to happened. And now, she's an even bigger part of me...

To top it all off, I have to explain it to Eames. I still don't know what to say...But I need to talk to her about it. She always has a great opinion about everything. Plus, she's usually right. And I'm really glad she's letting me come over...Hopefully this will help.

Lucky for me it's only a few blocks, so this walk over helps to clear my head. It's a little cold, but it's sobering. I need it. It still amazes me the amount of people out and about at an given time in this city. Perhaps that's why it was so easy to be followed...Stalked. But I'll get to that...

As I stand on the door step to Eames' building, I can feel this overwhelming feeling of guilt. Almost like I feel bad for telling her about this. Usually I don't kiss and tell, but this...Is an exception to that rule.

After she buzzes me in, I climb the stairs to her apartment. I think about. About all those private moments we've had. Things that she wouldn't want anyone in the department to know about. Like her first days home after she gave birth. The tears she cried over it. The tears she let me see. She's a strong woman, but even strong women feel pain. I'm grateful she trusts me enough to keep her secrets...

And I trust she'll extend me the same courtesy...

She opens the door and offers a sarcastic smile as I sit down on her couch.

"What's up...You lose a sock or something.."

Her sense of humor, well timed, "Actually. It's worse...You'd. Uh, sit."

"Must be serious. Well, we both need some rest. So, out with it."

"It's. I don't know how to say it."

"Bobby, just say it."

She looks so worried. I think she knows that if I'm here then it must be terrible. She's probably already assumed the worst.

"When I came home tonight...Nicole. She was. She broke into my apartment."

"Bobby..."

"No. That's. That's not all...I found her on my bed. Wearing...One of my shirts. Nothing else."

"Obsess much."

"I asked her. What she wanted. Why she was there. You won't believe it..."

"I swore I could smell moonbeams...try me."

"Nicole. Said that...That she loved me."

"You do have a way with the psycho wench..."

"That's the thing, Alex, " Did I just call her Alex, "I. I love her too. Not because I want to love her. I just. Do. It's there and that's it."

"That's not all, is it?"

"No. And I don't appreciate being interrogated."

"Sorry. Habit."

"Didn't mean. To, uh, snap at you. It's just hard..." Breathe, just breathe. She'll just give you that look that says I'm disappointed in you and you'll have to live with it.

"Then I'll just listen. I won't ask a thing."

"I. We...I kissed her. I pressed my body against hers and ran my fingers over every curve of her body," And it was wonderful. Her kiss is electric...It made me feel alive.

Eames stays quiet. She really just wants to listen. I know she can see how disturbed I am over it.

"I couldn't help myself. She. She's a beautiful woman and. And completely my type. But, she's. Criminally insane," I press my palms against my eyes, "What is wrong with me...Have I lost my mind..."

Eames sits down beside me and puts her arm around my shoulder, "Keep going...I'm here for you okay..."

"It's like I wasn't myself. Then, I came back and. And pushed her away. I told her it was wrong...That it. We could never be together. I told her to get dressed and leave. And, without question she did what I asked."

"You just let her go?"

"Uh, well. I asked her about a story. One with no ending. Where you get to decide for yourself. And she told me what she would have picked...so sure that I was on the same page as she was. I leaned into her...She. Probably thought I was going to kiss her again...I hand cuffed her to a chair."

"You didn't...leave her there did you..."

"Absolutely not. I called and had her arrested for a b and e."

"That's my boy."

"Well. I know you want to say something here..."

She sighs, "Bobby. I know the hold Nicole has on you. I know she knows it too. She was so sure that she would walk away from you. No consequences. But you proved her wrong. You proved to her that her hold, is only in her mind."

"Are you. Mad at me..."

"For what? Kissing her...Just a little creeped out. You should just drink mouth wash."

She can always make me laugh. She's. A good friend. "Probably a good idea."

"Why does she get to you so much anyway? No one knows criminals better than you; you know their minds...So, why Bobby...What makes her so special?"

"It's like. I know her, intimately. Without having anything physical between us; besides. One touch. I have some idea the life she's had to endure. How her childhood effected her adulthood. If life could have been different...I would have loved her anyway. Given her everything..."

"But that doesn't matter. You love her, so what? She's never going to change Bobby. She will always hurt people. But what she's done to you. She's always going to be a part of you. You identify with her. You can't help be connected. And, you're still a man. A beautiful woman presents herself to you...So, you gave in a little. No big deal."

"But I wanted more, Alex," I did it again, "I wanted to know her. On a. Physical level. I want to tell myself that being with her that way would get her out of my mind, but I know better. It would have made it worse..."

"Like every guy in the world that passes it up, you're sorry. Bobby, this is Nicole we're talking about!"

"I know. This is. A weird conversation."

"I'll second that. You talking about anything sexual is weird."

"How so?"

"I don't know Bobby...It just is."

"Why? You said it yourself. I just a guy."

"I don't picture you that way alright. You don't strike me as the type to bed down with every girl you've ever dated. Kissed. Met."

"You're right about that."

"Here's the thing. Nicole was baiting you. She was probably in hopes you'd throw her down on your bed and ravage her. Then she'd get what she came for and would haunt you forever."

"Okay. We've crossed from weird to..."

"Disgusting. I need a shower after that thought."

"You really think she came to me for that?"

"Yeah. I can see the way she looks at you. It actually surprises me that she hasn't tried it before. You can't tell me you don't see that."

"Would you believe me if I told you no?"

"I'd say you were a bad liar."

I nod in agreement. But, then again. She's right.

"I wasn't kidding about that shower. I really need it...And you. You're staying here tonight. I know you won't sleep if you go back to your place. And I can't have you walking around like a zombie all day tomorrow."

"No choice. Then, I'll stay."

"Good. Listen, Bobby...I'm glad you came to me. You're secrets safe with me."

"I'm glad. Glad I talked to you, Alex," It feels right, Alex, "It. Helped. Thank you."

"That's what partners are for."

She smiles and disappears into her bathroom.

Alex. Still strange to call her that...I wonder what she thinks about it.