Chapter 12

February 19

Dear Sirius,

Dumbledore called me into his office and gave me something… well, it was really weird. He called me in during breakfast—I was actually up earlier than usual, so it was really early for me—and was all, "Harry, I noticed you've been a bit preoccupied lately."

"Professor," I had said, "I'm fine—"

"Let me finish," he said. "I've been through this also, though not at your age. That is why I want to give you this." He pulled out a fishbowl with a silvery liquid inside.

"Professor, what is that?"

"You know perfectly well what this is, Harry. You've been inside one yourself. I'm sure you remember." I gasped. "Yes, Harry. It's a Pensieve. You really shouldn't have need for one at your age, but I figured it may come in handy. Not right now, maybe, but some time in the near future."

"How do I use it, exactly? I mean, I know you put your thoughts in it, but… how? What's the spell?" Dumbledore only winked and left.

I'm not "preoccupied"! I'm perfectly fine. And has he been watching me? Merlin, that's creepy. I don't even know how to work it! I've seen Dumbledore put his wand up to his temple and take a thought out, but I have no idea how to. I guess it's worth a try.

Well, I tried simply putting my wand up to my temple, and nothing happened. Why the hell would Dumbledore give me this if I can't even work it? That man is confusing me more and more.

Oh. Merlin.

You'll never, in a million years, guess where I've been. Ginny asked me to meet her in Hogsmeade. I hesitated, but eventually went. Turned out it was that moron group and she had tricked me into coming! God, I am so ashamed and embarrassed. Am I really that stupid?

So anyway, I'm sitting in this room full of idiots. They're all fidgeting, some were twitching. I felt so out of place. Ginny wasn't like any of them; perfectly normal, but in some weird way she didn't seem all that out of place or awkward. She said hi to a few people as we walked in. I followed her to a chair and sat as she said a few more hellos.

When group started… man, it was torture. Merlin, Sirius, these people were in deep… this girl Kara was all "Hi, I'm Kara and I'm an alcoholic. I've got a serious problem with drinking. Sometimes it consumes me. I drink when I'm stressed to relax a little, but I never have only a little. It always gets out of control." Man, that sucks. This other guy Caleb was like, "I'm Caleb. I'm an alcoholic and I haven't had a drink in twenty-eight days." Everyone clapped… like this was a big deal! I mean, I haven't had a drink in… well, a couple days, but it's not like I drink so much at a time. I haven't had a cigarette in… about seven hours… and now I'm craving one again.

Why, Sirius? I smoke when I'm stressed… but I'm not stressed right now! Why the hell do I need one now? I'm so confused… but I've got to take care of this craving.

There, that's better. Aw, shit—I just remembered that I forgot to send in my job application! I guess I'll do it now, since I'm up…

Name: Harry James Potter

Age: seventeen

Birthdate: July 31, 1987

Current occupation: Student

Well, there's a long list more, but I'll do that after I'm done with this letter and send it with Hedwig. I'm glad I don't have to worry about sending in backup applications, because filling out all these forms is a pain in the arse. I mean, they've gotta let me in. How could they not? Besides being a pain, these nuisance applications cost quite a bit, too, and since I don't have a job right now… I thought I'd be okay with the money my parents left me—it was a lot, you have to admit—but surprisingly, when I went to my Gringotts vault to buy an application (well, I didn't actually go to the vault; the bank owl-mailed my vault information to me) it was surprisingly low. I probably shouldn't buy anything for a while and let the account grow. I wonder what could have emptied my vault.

Wow. I just looked at what cigarettes cost, and the drinks I've been buying at the Hog's Head this year… man, no wonder my vault balance was low! With the amount of packs I've been smoking lately, and my drinks… I should stop. At least stop buying so many… maybe I can suppress the cravings. After all, I'm Harry Potter.

Am I an alcoholic, Sirius?

Harry

A/N: Hope you liked… I wrote it in like a day. Leave me great feedback! (Ignore typos... I didn't proof-read.)

OutofAzkaban

topps- Thanks for reviewing!

ghst.sama- I already emailed you about this. I've decided against Harry/Ginny permanently… and you'll see why he can't get together with Danielle in the end.