Chapter 16

March 5

God, I feel weak. I feel sick, like any second I might throw up. My vision's unsteady and so are my stomach and my hand. So that night with Ginny… could anything have gone so wrong and yet been so right? I'm so confused. She's Ron's sister and… we have a history.

That night, Ginny and I stayed up talking all night. Dobby brought us butterbeer. She told me how Ron had lost his over protectiveness and had just given up bullying her boyfriends. I told her about how Remus offered me a chance to catch up in Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"That's great, Harry," she said happily. "You still want to be an Auror, then?"

"Yeah," I said. "I sent my application in. What about you? What do you want to do?"

"I applied for the Auror position, too, but I also applied for a job like Charlie's—a magical creature job. It might not be with dragons, but I like animals."

"You're still taking Hagrid's class, then?"

"Well… no," she said, blushing. "I've got a busy schedule, and I still wanted a period off to study. But Hagrid told me he would give me extra lessons if I wanted them, since… well, not many people are taking his class. I go over there a few nights a week after dinner." There was a pause. "So," she said, "what are your backups?"

"Didn't send any in," I told her.

"You don't have any?"

"No."

"But Harry, you're not guaranteed a job. What if you don't get the Auror position?"

"I will," I told her firmly. "After all, how many times have I defeated Voldemort?"

Ginny looked wary. "Yes, but I think you should send in a backup anyway, just in case." I ignored her. "Let's change the subject," she suggested. I agreed. But we were both silent.

"Ginny?" I asked. "Can I tell you something and you'll promise you won't think I'm crazy?"

"Sure, Harry," she said, looking slightly confused.

"Well… you remember Danielle."

"No."

"What?"

"Who's Danielle?"

"Oh. Remember when you came into the boys' dorms, and I said Danielle was there but then she vanished? And I had two bottles of whisky but one of them was hers?"

"Oh… yes. Go on."

"Well… she disappears every time I try to introduce her to a friend, and lately I haven't seen or heard from her. It's been bothering me. It's just… weird."

Ginny pondered this. "Well, I don't really know what to say, Harry. Take a picture of her the next time you see her and I'll tell you if I've seen her around. Unless of course you already have one."

"No… I will. Thanks, Gin…ny."

She laughed. "Its okay, call me whatever you want, I really don't mind. I was just… in a mood earlier."

"Will do… And you don't think I'm crazy?"

"No, of course not."

"Good." I smiled uncomfortably, mostly because there was nothing else to do. For a little while, we sat by the fire. Then she turned to me, and I saw something odd in her eyes I had never seen before. And… she kissed me. Something erupted inside me then. I have no idea what. It wasn't love, that I'm sure of. I don't do that kind of love. And I didn't pull back. All was quiet at two in the morning, and we just kissed.

I'm so utterly confused. Little Ginny Weasley! But she's not so little anymore, I guess, is she? I don't know what to do. I don't know how I feel. But I guess I have to face it; if she gets the Auror position we'll be working together for our entire lives. And being best friends with Ron will play a part in seeing a lot of her, too.

Quidditch match today against Ravenclaw. Ginny and Cho were going at it as much as they could while on the field. I had to yell at the rest of the team to keep their eyes on the game. They kept ramming broomsticks even though they weren't supposed to even be near each other on the pitch.

I saw Cho talking to the Ravenclaw beaters during a time-out. When the game resumed, they both seemed to aim their Bludgers at Ginny. One eventually hit her broom tail and broke her Cleansweep. It sent her spinning and into a nosedive, and she was really high up. Luckily, I was right by the Snitch, so I caught it and flew after Ginny. Dumbledore had slowed her fall and I flew under her near the ground and caught her. Her broomstick, however, continued its fall and smashed.

Earlier today I ran into Ginny in the hall and gave her a broom catalog, telling her I had used one in third year to find a broom and that it might help. In response, she thanked me and pulled me into a broom closet.

"Harry," she said, "the night before last was amazing. I waited yesterday for you to say something, but when you didn't I decided to confront you. I was happier than I had been in a long time. I want to know… did it mean anything?"

This is why I didn't want to get involved with a girl. That was the problem with Cho—she was so complicated. Ginny's not complicated, not really—well I guess besides being bummed she was pretty—but the whole analyzing things to see what they mean, then there's the "us" talk, and all that junk us guys don't need to go through.

I said, "I… don't know. I had a great time, too, but… it's us. Will we work?"

I expected her to blow up at the fact that I said I didn't know, but she said "Anything can work, Harry, if your heart's in it. Is it? Harry," she continued before I could say anything, "I've been searching. You know that. But I don't want you to feel guilty and date me because of that. I don't want you unless your heart's in it."

I thought about this for a minute or two. "Ginny, I really enjoyed that night, and I'm willing to make it work and try this new thing out."

She smiled a smile that lit up her whole face and kissed me. "Meet me at the Three Broomsticks this Saturday at seven." She left the broom closet and rushed to class.

What am I doing? I've got work to do, I promised myself I'd do it; I need to make sure I get the Auror job. Now I'm dating Ginny, Ron's little sister! What the hell have I gotten myself into, Sirius?

Dammit. That's just great. On top of everything, I'm addressing Sirius again. I thought I was over this whole thing. Sirius is dead. Sirius is dead. Maybe if I repeat that over and over it'll sink in deep enough.

Well, for a change of pace, Danielle just walked in. I asked her where the hell she's been lately, with her listening ear and the drinks. She smiled bitterly and said around, but she's glad to be back. And then she pulled out the firewhisky. Bless her. It burned all the way down.

Then I remembered what Ginny said. I asked her if I could take our picture. An odd look came over her face, but she said sure. Colin Creevey's camera was lying on top of his trunk, so I picked it up and pointed it at my and Danielle's faces. I'll develop it in the potion later.

I told her about Ginny. She said that it was one sure way to lose Ron, and that I shouldn't date Ginny. I've been worrying about that, too, to tell that truth. I just got Ron's trust and friendship back, and I don't want to lose it over Ginny. On the other hand, I told Ginny I'd meet her on Saturday and I'm not going to stand her up. I'm above that. Besides, if I didn't show Ginny would be hurt and Ron would be mad at me anyway. So I guess I'll go.

March 9

Yesterday was Saturday, and I did meet Ginny. She wasn't there when I got there and for a moment I thought she had stood me up. But she came running in at 7:15, apologizing and saying she was held up by Michael Corner saying he wanted to get back together. Laughing, she told me she told him she was on her way to a date and if he didn't move she'd hit him with a Bat Bogey hex, because he was making her late, and he shut up. I laughed. She had grown up. This was the Ginny I knew.

Madam Rosmerta brought us oak-matured mead and a gillywater for Ginny. I apologized profusely, but Ginny waved it away, saying she was perfectly fine and she was doing a lot better in support group—one of the top, actually, she's about to become a leader. I congratulated her, and she said it wasn't a big deal. Then she invited me to group.

"No way," I told her. "Much as I like you, I wouldn't go to one of those." Then she smiled kind of secretly into her gillywater. I can't imagine what I said that was so funny. She said the invitation is always on the table, but I don't think I'd take her up on it.

We went into the broomstick store first to see if there was anything Ginny wanted to replace her Cleansweep. There were a couple she liked, but she leapt back when she saw the prices. She didn't buy anything there.

Next we went to Honeydukes and tasted the new sweets. I tried to get her to sample a sour gummy caterpillar that really crawled its way down your throat. She refused, so I did a Rictusempra on her and made her laugh. While her mouth was open I shoved the caterpillar into it. She shrieked and I lifted the spell. She began whacking me with her hand and said something like, "Harry, you're sick!" I laughed. We got kicked out of Honeydukes for making too much noise, but it was definitely worth it.

As we walked through the slowly-melting slush of the streets, Ginny told me her birthday is coming up.

"Ron's planning me a surprise party," she said, laughing. "He's so loud; he can't keep anything a secret. I overheard him telling Dean and Seamus about it. He's so cute sometimes," she said, shaking her head. "I know he's my older brother, but sometimes it seems like he's so much younger. You know?" I nodded, wondering why I hadn't heard about Ginny's party from Ron when Dean and Seamus already had.

After a little while we came back to GryffindorTower. We didn't stay out too late.

Great. Now I have pressure to buy her a gift. I have no idea what to get her. Maybe I'll ask Ron… but he hasn't even asked me to this stupid party. See? Exactly why I never liked girls or the whole dating issue.

But Ginny's… different. I don't know how, but somehow different. I'm not annoyed by her, and her laugh isn't that fake, over-bubbly kind of laugh—it's genuine. She really pays attention to what I say—but not like Danielle. Ginny really listens and helps. When I talk to Danielle, I feel depressed afterwards, like things are bound to suck.

Hopefully I'll think of something to get Ginny for her birthday in my sleep or something… if Sirius was still here, he'd know what to get her. He always had good ideas. After all, he was a ladies' man; he must've gotten dozens of gifts for girls. Or maybe Dad…he must've gotten Mum something really special all the time; he really loved her. And something had to make her want to go out with him.

Well, on the bright side, Ron just came in. I think he and Hermione were snogging in the Common Room. Anyway, he just told me about Ginny's party and asked if I wanted to go. He apologized for asking so late, but he had been waiting for me to be alone and he could never find me. Well, at least he asked.

A/N: So, there you go. Leave a pretty review!

IamSiriusgrl- Well, now she's back. Maybe not permanently. I guess we'll see, won't we? Next chapter.

ghst.sama-You know, I really valued your opinion and now I'm not thinking so highly of you, as you know. No, I guess Voldy's not dead but he won't be included in this fiction. You're absolutely horrible and I don't see why you were compelled to do that.

potts-Thanks for your constant support.

roxygurl25-I will when I have time. I want to finish at least this one this summer.

Cecilia Orechio- You're back! I think your last review was Chapter 8… I thought you had left my story for good! Anyway, thanks for returning. Good luck with your new life!