Ah, yes. This chapter has that 'Wind Waker feel' to it, does it not? Same kind of zanyness, or whatever that word is. Ppht.

Anyway, I can tell that almost everyone is ready for Hidden Fire to end. I am too. And it is, sad to say, almost over. I have already started The Sister (it's not out yet, though), and I guarantee that it will be better than Hidden Fire. It's still funny, of course, but there's a lot more action, angst and romance (And some yaoi!). It's sort of a unique mixture of Lord of the Rings, The Prince of Egypt, and the Lost Desert Neopets Plot...

REVIEW!

Trapped in the Dark

Link, Komali, and Daphness had been walking for quite a while. At last, Komali turned.

"Hey...Impa? Impa!" he called.

"She's...not here," Link commented.

"Well, there's another fact from Captain Genius..." Daphness mumured sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"I don't remember her coming in with us either..." Komali said steadily.

"Me neither... Come on, guys, let's go back to the entrance," said Daphness, and off they went, only to find it blocked.

Link shrieked and began to vibrate wildly.

"WE'RE LOCKED IN, WE'RE LOCKED IN! WE'RE GONNA RUN OUT OF OXYGEN! WE'RE GOING TO STARVE AND BE FORCED TO EAT EACHOTHER! AH! I'M NOT GONNA BE THE FIRST EATEN, PLEASE DON'T EAT ME! WE'RE GONNA RUN OUT OF WATER! I DON'T LIKE BEING DEHYDRATED, I GET HEADACHES! AND WHAT IF A ZOMBIE COMES OUT! WHAT IF IT --" Komali slapped Link, who began to hyperventilate.

Daphness, meanwhile, examined the blockage.

"Hmm...this stone is heavy. This was deliberate. But who...?"

"I bet it was Impa," Komali stated darkly, holding onto Link by the wrists.

"WHY DOES IT FUCKING MATTER? WE'RE GONNA RUN OUT OF OXYGEN ANYWAY!" cried Link hysterically.

"Link, calm down! We'll get out of here..." Komali murmured soothingly.

"STOP HITTING ON ME!" Link screamed, his eyes wide.

"What? I'm not hitting on you!"

Link started yelling and crying nonstop. But then he got very quiet when Daphness knocked him unconcious with a rock.

"Jeez...I didn't know he was so claustrophobic..." said Komali.

"Oh, who cares... Let's just keep going as we normally would. We just need the medallion, right? We don't really need Impa all that much..." Daphness grumbled. Komali shrugged half-heartedly, and dragging Link by the ankles, followed the king as he set forth through the temple.

"Stop!" squeaked a voice a few rooms from the starting point.

"Huh? Who said that?" Daphness demanded.

"I did!" piped the voice, and a Keese appeared.

"What the fuck? A talking bat?" Komali snorted.

"'Aye! I ain't no bat, bitch!" the Keese snapped at the Rito prince.

"You sure look like a bat to me..." Komali retorted.

The Keese whipped out a pistol.

"I SAID...I AIN'T...NO...BAT!" he loudly warned. Komali fell silent.

Daphness rolled his eyes.

"Look, what do you want? We're trying to get a medallion here, ya know."

"There are many dangers in this temple. You'll probably get killed. Like that guy." The Keese looked at Link.

"Oh, he's not dead, he's claustrophobic," Komali said.

"Claustrophobic, dead, there's little difference these days..."

"Ok, whatever... Look...what do you mean when you say we'll get killed? We've triumphed over a lot, you know. This should be nothing," Daphness told the Keese confidently.

"The army of the dead lies a few rooms beyond. You'll wake them, and they'll be pretty pissed," the Keese replied.

"Look, we're not afraid of some zombies, ok?" Komali said impatiently.

"Zombies? Zombies are the least of your troubles! After them, you will face the bones of the dead."

"Skeletons are lame... We can take 'em," said Daphness.

"But there's more! Beyond them, you will come across those too horrible to name..." hissed the Keese.

"Huh? Who?" Komali asked.

"Well, they're too horrible to name! That means I'm not going to tell you, right?"

"DUH, Komali..." snorted Daphness.

"And lastly, you will encounter the boss. I suggest you turn back now -- it's dangerous." The Keese flew away.

"HEY! BUT WE'RE LOCKED IN!" Komali shouted.

"Jeez, Komali...when Link's unconcious, do you have to make up for his stupidity or something?"

As if on cue, Link woke up.

"Ugh...why does my head hurt...and...where are we?" he moaned.

"Oh, we're just stuck inside a tomb and are slowly running out of oxygen," Daphness said.

"MOTHER FUCKER! AAAAAHHHHHHH!" Link screamed, vomiting and wetting himself at the same time.

"And you say I'm stupid!" Komali yelled over Link's cries.

"Well, there aren't any rocks around... Let's just keep going..." the king sighed, and off they went again, Link clinging to Komali's legs.

After quite a hike, the small group reached a dank room, more eerie than the others.

"I-is it just me or does there seem to b...be l-less air in...here?" Link stuttered hoarsely.

Komali sighed. "Relax, Link, it's all in your head..."

"IT'S NOT, IS IT? YOU'RE JUST LYING TO ME, TELLING ME THAT IT'S NOT HAPPENING SO I DON'T KNOW THAT IT'S REALLY HAPPENING! I CAN FEEL IT! OOOOOHHHH, YES, I CAN FEEL IT! WE ARE SLOWLY BREATHING UP THE LAST OF THE AIR IN HERE... STOP BREATHING MY AIR!"

"Link, you're paranoid! Quit it!" Komali barked.

"Both of you be quiet! Do you want to wake something up?" Daphness hissed. Suddenly, zombie-ish moans erupted, and the undead began to climb out of the floor.

"Oh, you did it now, Daphness...you did it now..." Komali gasped, shaking his head and backing away.

"I am assuming these are the zombies that that bat thing was talking about..." Daphness said, nervously wiping sweat from his brow.

Link let out a strange noise that seemed to be a mixture of a scream and a squeak. He shuddered.

"I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU THEY WOULD COME! AND YOU KNOW WHAT! THEY'RE OUT TO GET ME! THEY'RE ALL OUT TO GET ME! THAT'S WHY WE HAVE SO LITTLE OXYGEN! THEY'VE BEEN THE ONES BREATHING THE AIR, ALONG WITH YOU TWO! IT'S A CONSPIRACY, RIGHT? YOU'VE ALL BEEN PLOTTING THIS BEHIND MY BACK, HAVEN'T YOU? YOU GOT TOGETHER AND DECIDED THAT YOU'D ALL WORK TOGETHER TO BREATHE MY AIR SO I WOULD SUFFOCATE TO DEATH! I'M ALREADY FEELING LIGHT-HEADED! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! I'M GONNA DIE!"

"STOP IT, LINK! WE'RE GONNA GET OUT OF HERE, AND WE ARE NOT RUNNING OUT OF OXYGEN!" bellowed an irritated Daphness.

The zombies began to approach.

"THEY'RE COMING!" Link wailed, backing into a zombie-less corner.

"We're just gonna have to do this ourselves, Komali," sighed the king, shaking his head.

"Let's take these bitches down!" cried Komali. Prince and king lept into the fray.

"Take THIS! And THIS!" panted Komali, karate chopping another zombie and backing away from another one.

"Our attacks have no affect, Komali! Whenever you chop off one part, it regrows itself!" Daphness complained.

"Dammit! What are we gonna do!"

"There's only one thing left we can do, Komali."

"What's that, king?"

"We'll just have to fuck them to death!" the king announced.

"Umm...what?" Komali said.

"Shut the fuck up and take your clothes off! We have work to do!"

The pair did just that.

Komali jammed his cock in the ass crack of one zombie and began to pound it. It exploded.

"Woah! It works!"

"OF COURSE IT DOES! KEEP FUCKING!"

So Daphness and Komali fucked and fucked and fucked until there was icky zombie goo all over the place. The two panted as they pulled their clothes back on.

"No...NO! STOP PANTING! STOP IT NOW!" Link screeched.

"Shut up, Link..." Komali grumbled, dragging Link to the next room.

The next room had the same feel as the previous one.

"There are more air-breathers here...there are...there are..." wheezed Link, shaking like mad.

And of course, skeletons began popping out of the floor.

"Well, that's a surprise," snorted Daphness. "I really didn't expect that."

"What I wonder is, how do they stay together without muscle tendons or fatty tissue and stuff?" Komali thought out loud.

All the skeletons immediately fell apart. Prince Komali and Daphness Nohansen Hyrule dragged Link to the final room of trial.

The room was mostly dark aside from two torches near the entrance, and the door slammed shut behind them. Link began to scream like hell; Komali covered his mouth.

Beady red eyes began to glow everywhere. Then, Daphness had to stifle a scream when the owners of the eyes hopped into the light of the torches.

The room was covered in furry white bunnies.

"Oh...oh...oh, goddesses..." Komali stuttered, his eyes wide.

With loud hisses in unison, the bunnies lunged for the king's and prince's throats.

"KOMALI, SHIELD YOUR NECK! GAAAH!" Daphness covered his neck. Luckily, the bunnies only knocked him on his back.

"DAPHNESS! DAPHNESS, ARE YOU OK?" screamed Komali, clutching his neck protectively.

"I'M FINE, BUT...BUT THEY'VE GOT ME PINNED TO THE GROUND! THEY'RE STRONG, KOMALI, REALLY STRONG! YOU'LL HAVE TO DO THIS ALONE!"

"But king! I...I need you!"

"You must do it yourself, my child! Use the force!"

Komali knew he had a job to do.

"HYAAAA!" the prince screamed, stepping on a bunny and crushing it to death. Another flew into the air and headed straight for his head, but he karate-chopped it in half. Komali kicked another against the wall, and it exploded.

At last, Komali freed Daphness of his bunny prison. Together, they killed off the last of the heinous big-eared creatures.

Panting, Daphness and Komali looked towards Link, who was staring back at them with wide eyes. All was silent.

Finally, Link stuttered, "D-does anyone else feel the oxygen running out?"

At long last, the two nobles turned the key in the keyhole of the boss room and stepped inside, Link clinging to their heels. They shut the door behind them.

"Woah!" Komali jumped out of the way as a ninja star flew from the darkness at the far end of the room and nearly embedded itself in his skull.

"Hahaha... You were just lucky. But now you face REAL peril..." said a female voice.

It was not Tetra's, nor was it Bambi's. But...whose was it?