Hidden Fire

"Help Link! I'll distract Vaati!" Bambi called to Zelda. Then she ran to Vaati, sliced at him, and kept running. Vaati's eye squinted, and he began to attack her with his tentacles, slamming them into the ground, attempting to knock the girl off her feet.

Zelda knelt beside Link and shook him hard to make sure he was alive.

"Link! Link! Are you alive!" She slapped him.

"I guess I am then...a-aren't I!" Link hissed, his eyes shut tightly with pain.

"Don't worry, my love! I shall heal you!" Zelda pulled out the fairy. It lay at the bottom of the jar, looking pretty dead. Zelda shook the jar violently.

"LIVE! LIIIIIIIVE!" she yelled at the fairy. It twitched a wing weakly. The princess unscrewed the jar, and dumped the fairy out. It tumbled and landed on Link's chest.

Slowly, its glow returned, and it fluttered around Link, showering gold sparks. Then it shit on his face and flew away.

Completely healed, Link sat up and wiped the feces off.

"Ew! That is sooo disgusting!"

"BIG BROTHER! YOU'RE ALIVE!" Aryll yelled happily from her cage.

"Well, DUH!" snorted Link. He watched Bambi whizz past and dart around Vaati, taking stabs at him and dodging his attacks.

"Ok, uh...what is that blimp thing and what is SHE doing fighting it?" Link asked.

"Damn you!" Zelda slapped him. "You were unconcious, and now I need to explain things...well...ok then.

Bambi was posessed by a wind sorcerer named Vaati this whole time, so she's actually one of the good guys! Vaati was the real enemy all along, he was just in Bambi's body."

"Oh...that man I saw before I fell unconcious..." muttered Link.

"Yes, yes, that was him! Anyway, Bambi was about to kill him when he knocked her away and turned into a blimp! Now come on -- get the Master Sword, and let's kill him! It's three against one now, Vaati doesen't stand a chance!" said Zelda, dashing off to recover her katana. Link obeyed, and picked up the Master Sword. Together, princess and hero lept to join the fray.

"DISTRACT HIM!" Bambi said, running in Link's direction.

"Umm...right..." said Link. When Bambi ran past him, he shoved her to the ground and yelled to Vaati, "TAKE THE GIRL, NOT ME!" Then he ran away.

Zelda rushed past him, avoiding a tentacle.

"Link, you idiot! She's one of us now!"

"So -- ACK!" Link got hit in the stomach by a tentacle, and was flung yards away.

"Link! Are you ok?" Zelda called.

"NO, BUT I'LL BE FINE!" Link snapped bitterly.

"Get up, Link!" Bambi said, rolling out of the way as Vaati attempted to slam her with a tentacle. She then stood up and started running again.

Link slowly started to get up, but his pace was forced to quicken as Vaati used his eye to shoot a laser beam at him. Link scrambled away.

"The Master Sword, Link! The Master Sword!" Zelda screamed.

"COOL IT!" Link snapped. He rushed in at Vaati and made an attempt to stab him with the blade, but Vaati pushed him away.

"Link! Zelda and I will do our best to distract him! Go for the opening!" Bambi instructed. She and Zelda ran to his left side and began darting around it, stabbing at him on occasion.

Link shrugged, and attacked the open side with the Master Sword. Vaati winced, but did not seem to be in any severe, dangerous pain.

"Let's use our powers! Focus, now!" commanded Zelda. Bambi looked confused.

"What's your problem, bitch?" Link snapped.

"...I don't know how to use...them..." she said quietly.

Zelda sighed exasperatedly.

"If you want to use the Triforce of Power, then focus on power!" she said. Bambi nodded, and the three crest keepers began to focus.

The Master Sword glowed green, the katana glowed blue, and the twin swords glowed red. The three attacked with ferocity. This time, Vaati seemed to be in great pain. Then he spun around, hitting the three with his tentacles.

"That was a good starter attack!" said Zelda.

"GO, BROTHER! GO! GO! GO!" cheered Aryll.

"COME ON, SHOW NO MERCY!" Komali bellowed.

Link began to race around the massive enemy, looking for another opening. Bambi and Zelda did the same.

Vaati slid a tentacle across the ground in an attempt to get Zelda, but she jumped on top of it. The tentacle flew into the air, and, thinking hard about her element, Zelda lept like a tiger and drove her blade into Vaati's eye. An inhuman scream pierced the air. Zelda landed back on the ground.

Vaati attacked harder. He was pretty pissed about a sword being in his eye.

Being without a weapon, Zelda ran to retrieve the Light Arrows.

"Link, I'm going to try to do as Zelda did! Our swords can hurt him, but yours has the power to finish the job! Just avoid getting hurt, dodge his attacks, and when I get my swords in his eye, make your move, ok?" Bambi said to Link when she was close to him.

"'Kay..." said Link.

Hmm...so I don't have to do anything until she stabs him in the eye. Sweet. Link thought as he strode to the edge of the arena and started eating oreos.

"Oh my gosh, Link! Don't you know how fattening those are? There's like...160 calories per oreo or something!" Komali gasped.

"Tch...you think I watch my weight?" Link grunted.

"It's kind of obvious you haven't lately. Your tunic DOES look a bit tight. You seem rounder," noted Komali.

"WHAT!" Link snapped.

"He's right!" Aryll said. "Wow...I didn't notice until now!"

"In other words, you've gained weight, and eating all those oreos doesen't help," conclued the Rito prince.

"DAMMIT!" Link growled, tossing the oreos over the edge of the arena. He stuck his finger down his throat to make himself throw up.

Zelda watched Link purge and shook her head.

"You didn't have to tell him to do NOTHING, you know! You see the things he does when he's bored?" the princess called to Bambi.

"Uhhh, a little busy!" replied Bambi, slightly irritated. She was gasping for breath as she dodged attack after attack. Zelda ran in and pierced Vaati with the arrows. The creature growled.

"Link and I will occupy his attention!" said Zelda. She ran up to Link and hit him on the back of the head. He stopped puking, and turned to his girlfriend while wiping his mouth.

"Hey, what's the deal? Didn't you see I was busy?" Link spat.

"Change of plans! You're going to help me keep Vaati occupied, but it is as Bambi said -- you must remain safe, so be careful. You and the Master Sword hold the power of the sages!" said Zelda. Reluctantly, Link followed her, and together they poked Vaati.

Bambi saw her opportunity. She jumped onto a tentacle that was lower to the ground. When the tentacle moved up, she jumped and stabbed Vaati in the eye. Swordless, she went to the ground.

"Link! Now is your chance!" she said.

His entire quest flashed before his eyes. Knowing that it was about to end, Link eagerly ran to the great foe, and purposefully buried the Master Sword into Vaati's side.

Unearthly screams rang out so loud they could've pierced the sound barrier. Vaati glowed, and then shrank back to Hylian form. Bambi and Zelda's weapons remained stuck in his head.

"Ahhh...it hurts...I...I can't see! I'M BLIND!" screamed Vaati. "But at least I'm still drop-dead sexy..."

Link, Zelda, and Bambi approached Vaati, looking dark and angry. Link pulled the Master Sword out of his body, and raised it above Vaati, clutching the weapon tightly. Bambi clutched it too, and so did Zelda.

"Good-bye, Vaati! And thanks for nothing!" spat Bambi. The three kids focused on power, wisdom, and courage, and with a sense of finality, they stabbed Vaati in the chest.

The villain choked, and then stiffened. He then proceeded to die. Everyone pulled their weapons from his grossly maimed form. When that was done, a wind blew, and Vaati's body and bones dissolved.

Heavy, shocked silence fell. No one could believe that the mission was over. Bambi fell to her knees.

"It's over...it's finally over...my curse has been broken..." she said. The young fighter turned to look at her companions. She stood and and faced them.

"Link, Zelda, I really am sorry. My foolishness put you all in danger..." she said, looking down.

"You bet your ass it did," snorted Link. Zelda slapped him, and put her hands on Bambi's shoulders.

"It's like I said before, Bambi. Even if you had turned your back on him, this still probably would have happened... Don't apologize," said the princess with a smile. Bambi smiled back.

"You're trusting her, Zelda...er...Tetra? She turned our lives upside down!" Link shrieked.

"That was VAATI, dufus! Not Bambi! Vaati took over her body! Everything was Vaati's doing, got it?" replied Zelda.

"Wait...so that one time when Bambi raped me...it was Vaati all along?"

"Yes... Thanks to his escapades, Vaati has robbed me of my virginity," said Bambi.

"Well, that's good, right? No one wants to be a virgin...no one but Dark Link," Link said. Bambi's eyes glazed with sadness at the mention of his name.

"Well, I'm sick of this place. Let's get the hell out of here!" said Zelda. "It's time to go back to the way things were..." The group headed for the stairs.

"HEY! WHAT ABOUT US?" Komali called.

"Yeah!" Aryll said.

"Those cages are so high up..." Bambi murmured.

"Do you guys have anything to pick the locks with?" Zelda shouted up to them.

"No," Komali and Aryll replied in unison.

"This is a problem," Link noted.

A loud crash sounded from above as a big hole was made in the ceiling.

"A problem, maybe, but one that can be easily solved!" declared Nabooru, leaping from the hole and on top of Komali's cage.

"Nabooru!" Link gasped.

"The one and only!" chuckled Nabooru.

Said she, "These cages are suspended by magic. I'll use my powers to bring them down." Nabooru shut her eyes, and looked as though she were praying. The cages slowly lowered.

When they were on the ground, Nabooru lept off Komali's cages and took out two curved daggers. With tremendous strength, she cut off the doors of the cages. Link watched her boobs jiggle as she did it.

Komali and Aryll gladly left their prisons. Aryll attached herself to Link's legs.

"BIG BROTHER! I MISSED YOU!" she cried. Link hugged her. When everyone stared, he stopped and shoved Aryll to the ground.

"Wow! You girls! You ROCKED!" Komali exclaimed to Bambi and Zelda, hugging them.

"AHEM... I fought too, ya know!" snapped Link.

"Yes, Link, but not WELL," replied Komali.

"Stop fighting, kids! Let's get out of here! Everyone's waiting for you outside the tower," said Nabooru, and with that, she lead the group out of VAATI'S lair.

Upon their exit, the kids spotted all the other sages (aside from Ruto and Impa) and Daphness waiting for them. Bambi quickly explained what happened when she saw the looks she was recieving.

"Vaati...ah, yes, he is an ancient wind mage. Well...WAS. He's dead now," said the king.

Everyone heard a noise behind them, and turned to see the tower collapsing.

"Think of that as a sign that all of this is over," said Rauru.

Link then remembered something.

"Tetra...er...Zelda! The eye mark! Is it still on my neck?" Zelda looked, and grinned.

"No, Link! It's gone!" she said.

"YES! NOW I'M BACK TO HAVING ONLY ONE TATOO! It's on my...nevermind."

Bambi smiled to herself and looked at the back of her now eyeless left hand.

"Hey! What happened to Gaylord?" Aryll asked.

"Ummm...he...ran away?" Link tried.

"Oh! Ok!" said Aryll. There was a moment of silence following.

"Big brother?"

"Yeah, Aryll?"

"Can I get another dog?"

"No."

"Come on, I'm sick o' this place! Let's get back to the world above! OUR world!" said Makar, and the party started their hike to the portal between Hyrule and the Great Sea.

After walking in silence for a while, Link finally spoke.

"Y-you guys don't really think I'm getting fat...do you?"

Everyone laughed.

"DO YOU?" Link demanded.

No one replied.

At last, they reached the portal.

"Unfortunately..." said Daphness, "We cannot seem to seal Hyrule again... It must remain hidden. No one must tell a soul of its whereabouts. Do you swear?"

"I swear," everyone said solemnly.

"We're coming to the surface world with you guys!" said Saria, hugging Komali.

"Dammit..." Link cursed.

"We'll follow you five out," said Nabooru, shoving Link, Zelda, Bambi, Komali, and Aryll forward towards the portal.

"We've arranged boats to take you to Windfall...you'll find a surprise there," said Medli, glaring at Komali.

Saria kissed Komali, then stepped back to join the other sages.

"I'll meet you at Windfall, sweetie!" she said.

"Bye, lovey!" cooed Komali, stepping into the portal. Bambi and Zelda exchanged glances, and then followed Komali. Aryll went after them.

Link looked around at Hyrule one last time, then stepped into the portal himself.

ONE MORE CHAPTER TO GO! YOU AIN'T DONE READIN' 'TILL I'VE SAID SO!