AN: This was written for the November challenge of delusion for the fictionhaven community on Live Journal. I didn't win of course but I think it turned out okay. It is set in the manga, volume 3 while Alucard, Seras, and Pip are in South America and Integral is alone.
Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing (Kohta Hirano does) or A Christmas Carol (obviously owned by Charles Dickens).
Integral Hellsing couldn't sleep – she was haunted by images of the newscasts from South America and the phone calls from Alucard. The Hellsing leader had mixed emotions about the whole incident but her own emotions disturbed her far more than the incident itself. Integral had not answered Alucard's question of whether watching him carry out his orders excited her, but it had. Seeing his power had aroused her but Integral also felt sorrow for the families of the men that died. Integral could not deny that she was just as guilty for their deaths as was Alucard, perhaps even more. He would not have killed them without her orders. It made her wonder who the monster in Hellsing really was.
After another half hour of tumbling and turning in bed, Integral gave up on sleep. Perhaps a cup of tea will help, she thought. The Hellsing leader walked to the kitchen and poured a cup of tea from the pot. Walter must have just prepared this, she mused. The Hellsing leader sipped on it as she walked outside to the terrace. Integral closed her eyes and enjoyed the caress of a breeze on her face. Tonight was a perfect night to be outside and it relaxed her. She heard movement coming from in the house but ignored it, thinking it was probably only Walter or one of the Geese.
"I should have sent you to hell when you were a child, Integral." A man said in a cold, rough voice that was vaguely familiar to her.
Integral opened her eyes, trying to place the voice. After a few seconds, she knew who the speaker was. It can't be him - he is dead, she told herself. Integral Hellsing knew this to be a fact because she had murdered him herself. The sight of Richard Hellsing sent shivers down her spine and the bastard looked just as he had that day, right down to the gun wound she had given him. Suddenly, Integral felt like she was thirteen years old again. "Obviously someone has poisoned my tea because you cannot be real. You are dead." Integral said in a calm voice.
Richard Hellsing laughed hysterically. "Of course I'm dead, bitch…you killed. I did not lead a virtuous life and I'm stuck wondering the earth like this. Hell would be better."
"Oh, is that why you're here?" I'm afraid I can't help you with that. Perhaps, Iscariot can. Maybe if you did not try to kill an innocent child, you would have made it to heaven." Integral watched him cautiously but pretended that his presence did not disturb her.
Richard leaned over the table and laughed. "You – an innocent child? Integral, you may have been many things but innocent is not a word that comes to mind when I think of you. An innocent child does not commit murder. You had that demon to protect you; there was no reason to kill me. I would have left Hellsing, left England, no matter how ridiculous it was that Arthur left control of our family's organization to a child."
It was Integral's turn to laugh now. "Perhaps, my father knew that you would have destroyed Hellsing. You betrayed the Hellsing family by going against his wishes, Uncle. Father taught me that the only penalty for traitors is death."
Richard sat down opposite Integral and glared at her, his eyes glowing a bright shade of yellow. "I did not betray my family name. If anyone has done that, it is you. How can you allow that demon to commit crimes against humanity? Killing human beings, that is not Hellsing's mission, Integral. You were rotten from birth. How could you not be when you came from her? Your mother had no morals, a whore! And your father was no better. I only wanted to preserve the Hellsing organization, to make it more powerful. How can you call me a traitor?"
How dare he criticize my parents? Integral moved to slap him across the face. Ghost, delusion, or the walking dead, he would not speak badly of her parents. Integral struck his face hard but Richard only smiled and grabbed her wrist. "Let go, bastard." Integral cringed from the pain at first but glared at him - she would not back down from anyone.
"Your vampire is not here to protect you from me, Integral. You're not so strong without his protection, are you?" Richard taunted her.
"You can't hurt me – you are a ghost, a vision, or maybe just a delusion." Integral blinked hoping Richard Hellsing was not real but he remained. "Why are you here anyway?"
Richard grinned at her question. "My purpose tonight is not to torment you, Integral, although, that idea is quite tempting. As for why I'm here, I'm surprised you don't remember. It is on this night, so many years ago, that you murdered me and turned to the Devil. I only hope that tonight will change you or Hellsing will be destroyed."
"What are you referring to?" Integral asked. She tried to grab him but he slipped through her fingers. "Bloody hell!" Integral said aloud.
"Sir Integral?" Walter called from inside.
"Yes Walter, I'm out here."
"Is everything okay? I thought I heard voices." Walter asked.
"I suppose so. I think I'm just tired but I have too much work to do to prepare for the meeting with the Queen. Maybe it is this outside air. Can you fix us some more tea?"
"Certainly Sir Integral. I 'm afraid I can't join you though. I have some weapons to repair for the Geese," the butler explained.
"It's all right, I understand, Walter." Integral said and followed him back inside. She turned around to be sure that Richard was gone. Had she imagined him or was he a ghost? I really need to try to get more sleep, she told hers elf, I'm hallucinating.
Integral Hellsing tossed and turned for an hour. No matter how hard she tried, Integral could not get to sleep. "Oh to hell with it, I might as well get some work done." She changed back into her clothes, trousers and a blouse, and walked down the steps. Integral couldn't wait until Alucard and Seras returned. She always felt safer when Alucard was here.
The mail was her least favorite part of her job and she had been avoiding it all week. She started to open a stack of letters. Two of them were from Maxwell. "What could that git possibly want?"
"You are working with Iscariot, Integral? Now, that is a surprise." The voice of an older gentleman asked her.
Integra nearly cut herself with the letter opener. This could not possibly happen twice in one night, could it? She refused to believe but how could Integral deny what was right before her own eyes? "Fa-father?"
"Integral, you have grown into a lovely young woman. No wonder, that monster is so obedient to you." Arthur Hellsing said.
"What the hell is going on, Father?" Integral asked him. It made no sense that after all these years she would see the ghost of her father and her uncle.
Arthur Hellsing did not answer his daughter but admired the child he had created. "Come, Integral – let us go for a walk." He held out his hand to her and waited for his daughter to take it.
Integral took it reluctantly - how could she refuse? This was her father, the only parent she had ever known. The moment their hands touched, the room went black.
Integral blinked and when she opened her eyes, she was no longer in her office. "Father, where are we?"
Arthur put a finger to his lips, "Shhh," he whispered and pointed to the right.
Integral turned her head slowly, certain that whatever the ghost of Arthur Hellsing wanted to show her was not something she would want to see. And it wasn't.
A younger version of herself stood by Alucard and aimed a pistol at Richard Hellsing.
She watched the image of the young girl she used to be shoot and kill her uncle.
Arthur Hellsing grinned at her. "Now tell me, how was it that you didn't miss him? You had never fired a gun before that day."
Integral was dismayed at his reaction. "You're not angry that I killed your brother?"
"Integral, why do you think I chose to leave Hellsing under your care? I knew what an incompetent bastard Richard was. He would have sold his soul to the devil for more power. When we were younger, I had hopes of leaving Hellsing to him. He turned out to be such an awful disappointment." The ghost of Integral's father smiled at her. "Thank goodness I had you."
"But why didn't you tell me about him, Father?" Integral asked, remembering how horrified she had been to find a corpse in the basement.
"Ahh, Alucard – Hellsing's ace. That monster was Hellsing secret's weapon – I never told Richard of his existence because I did not trust him. He probably would have tried to use Alucard to kill me. I planned to tell you when the time was right but I died before it came. I never dreamt Integral, that you would allow him to serve you."
"He saved my life, Father. I would be dead if Alucard had not been there." She argued.
There was a flash of light and they were no longer in the basement. Integral watched herself sleeping. Alucard stood by the bed, watching her and there was no mistaking the look in his eyes for anything else but lust.
"Did you learn nothing during our lessons, Integral? Vampires cannot be trusted and yet you continue to have faith in him even now. You depend on him more than anyone don't you?"
"I trust Walter more than anyone, Father. I know Alucard is dangerous but he has been a loyal servant, one who has never betrayed me. I have faith that he never will." Integral replied.
"Oh he hasn't? What about the girl? He sired another vampire when he was your servant! And you did nothing. Now you have two monsters to worry about."
"That was not a betrayal. I don't know why he sired Seras Victoria, but it is done. I trust Seras with my life, Fath---"The lights flashed again, and then there was darkness. Integral blinked and she was back in her office. She gasped for breath, not sure what was happening to her. Before she could catch her breath, it happened again.
"I must be losing my mind," she said to no one in particular.
"No Integral, I wouldn't say that, although insanity does run in my family." A beautiful woman with black hair and dark eyes stepped out from the shadows. "I haven't seen you for so long, Integral. They put me away when you were a baby."
Integral stared at the woman who looked almost like her twin. First, I see Uncle Richard, then Father and Mother? She wondered if someone had poisoned her, given her a hallucinogen. Integral did not feel drugged but she did not believe in ghosts either. They simply were not real. The only other answer was that she had lost her mind and Integral refused to believe that.
"Don't worry, you're not insane. And I doubt that you'll take after me." Integral's mother approached her. "I suppose Arthur never told you but I cannot blame him. I suppose any husband would be embarrassed of a wife that had to be locked away. Maybe he was trying to spare you the shame."
Integral backed up from the woman or was it a ghost? She could not help but stare at the vision of her mother - amazed at the similarities in their appearances. But, the vision before her was also truly haunting. She was dressed in a long black dress that had several tears in it. Her mother's dark skin was stained with blood from her head to toe. "Mother, it cannot be you. Father told me you died."
"Sweet Integral, isn't your father dead too? But, you saw him tonight." The apparition spoke in a chilling and yet sweet voice.
Integral had finally run out of room as she leaned her back against the wall. She was not exactly afraid but did not like the idea of the ghost touching her. Just being in the same room with the spirit was making her cold. Part of Integral wanted to take her mother into her arms but she did nothing but watch her.
"Don't be afraid, although I know you'd never admit it even if you were, Integral. You are braver than Arthur ever was. I've watched you grow into such a strong woman. He locked the monster away after the war. I suppose I might have done the same thing. There are not many humans who could command a force as powerful him. And yet you did it when you were a child."
"I only did what I had to. If I had not had Alucard's help I would have died that night. What happened to you Mother, how did you die? Father never talked about you."
The ghost smiled wickedly and moved within inches of Integral. "The best way to tell you what happened is to show you. It would take me far too long to explain everything to you." Integral's mother placed her hands on Integral's head.
Her mother's hands were freezing, even cooler than Alucard's and it hurt to have them touching her bare skin. The pain was nothing, however, compared to the images that followed. If she could have found her voice, Integral would have screamed.
The first images she saw were happy ones. Her mother and father were getting married. They were the perfect image of the happily married couple. One thing that disturbed Integral was the age of her mother; she looked like she was barely thirteen. The scene changed - her mother and a man were alone in a room. He looked like a young Walter. He tried to leave as her mother undressed in front of him but she ordered him to stay and tried remove his clothing. No, Integral thought, this could not have happened. The scene changed again to the two of them in bed and the sound of the door opening. Arthur was yelling at her mother but calmly told Walter to leave. And then he started to beat her. No, Integral, thought, father could not have done this.
"Oh Integral, my nightmare was just beginning," the ghost said, "I'm not nearly finished."
More images appeared before her eyes, but they moved faster. Integral's mother in bed with many men, sometimes at the same time and all of them were acquaintances of her father. Sir Islands, Uncle Richard, and other members of the twelve – her mother had seduced them all. "No, you can't be my mother." Integral said. She watched in disgust her mother throw herself at Sir Penbrook, who looked repulsed and walked away.
Integral was relieved when the images changed again, this time to a mental hospital. Arthur was filling out papers to admit her mother but more images sex followed: Her mother with doctors, patients, and nurses. Integral could not believe she had come from such a weak and immoral woman. "How could you, Mother?"
The ghost smiled at her, "The doctors said I was addicted to sex. And every single one of them, who treated me, fed my addiction. Funny isn't it? I believe that is why your father married me. He knew exactly what I was like before we said our vows. Perhaps he thought I would be satisfied with only him but the stupid man should have known better or maybe he didn't care. A ceremony does not change who you are. I'm afraid, Integral, that it is time for you to see how I left this world."
"No Mother, please don't!" Integral protested but it was too late, the images had started already. Her mother was stripping in front of a group of male patients in a deserted room. Several of the men groped at her and Integral knew that her mother was going to have sex with all of them. Watching her mother like this was painful for Integral and she wanted the vision to stop. But, things were only going to get worse. After her mother had fucked a few of the men, she tried to leave. A few of the men left but three men refused to. Integral watched as her mother was brutally raped and beaten to death by three men. For hours after her death, they continued to rape the woman. Integral had tears in her eyes when the images stopped.
"I'm sorry, Integral, but you have to know who I was so you don't make the same mistakes."
"Why," Integral screamed, "did you have to show this to me? Don't you think I've seen enough horror? Why are you even here?"
"I have something else to show you but I promise it is not scary. I hope seeing this will save what is left of your humanity." The ghost put its hands on Integral's head again.
Integral saw a different scene in another country. Was it Brazil? A family was eating supper but there was an empty place. The mood in the room was somber; much like Integral's had been when her own father died. No. Integral hoped what she feared was not true. Don't let it be that.
"Mama, when is Papa coming home?" A small child asked. She could not have been more than four years old.
The mother's eyes were filled with tears. She wiped them away before answering the child. "I'm sorry honey but Papa is never coming home. He is in heaven now watching over you."
"Why? Why would God let Papa die? He was a good man. Papa went to church every Sunday and he was a policeman. And he received a medal from the Police Chief." The little girl started to cry.
"God must have had a reason. Your father was a good man but there are bad people in this world and one of them killed your Papa. He will go to hell for such a terrible sin."
A young boy, barely in his teens, started to cry too. "It's no fair, Mama! They didn't even catch the monsters that killed them! How could we let him get away? I want to kill him myself. One day I will kill the bastard, I swear I will."
Integral watched as the mother tried to comfort her daughter and son. On the tellie, she saw images of impaled corpses, the deaths that she had ordered. The sight of them made her laugh. "This is what you came here to show me? Those people were not without sin. And they chose the wrong side. They started a war with me! This is what happens in war. That man deserved his fate. I don't feel anything for them except for the children but they will get over it just as I did. War makes many orphans and widows – it cannot be helped."
The ghost of her mother looked at Integral with sadness in her eyes and sighed. "I am too late. You are already just like him. Perhaps, Arthur was right." Her mother faded away until she could no longer be seen.
Integral reached out to touch her but could only watch as the image of her mother faded. Integral continued staring into the space where the ghost or vision had been, for several moments. Integral could not move – she was both emotionally and physically drained. Nothing had ever affected her like this; even losing her men when the mansion was attacked had not been this awful. No, she told herself, I am not going to let this get to me. This has to be a dream. But, she felt awake. Integral refused to believe that she had been visited by the ghosts of her mother and father. It has to be a trick, she considered. Perhaps it is Millenium or Maxwell. I wouldn't put anything past that bastard. Whoever it is, I know that someone is fucking with my mind.
"Well, that is one way you are not like her, Integral." An older gentleman's voice, with a slight Dutch accent spoke. Integral was almost afraid to look.
Damn, not another hallucination, she thought to herself. She lit a cigar and inhaled slightly. "Not like who - my mother?"
"I did not have the pleasure of knowing your mother." The gentleman said. "I am referring to the other woman he desired. You are alike in many ways but she was a little more pious." He walked up to Integral's desk and smiled warmly at her.
Integral nearly choked on her cigar as the man came into her vision. This could not be who she thought it was but the resemblance to the photograph was astounding. She stared at him with her mouth dropped open in shock for several seconds.
"Excuse me for being so rude, Integral. I am your great-grandfather, Abraham Hellsing Van helsing. He took her hand and kissed it politely.
Integral shivered and pulled her hand away. Abraham's lips were cold and she felt them even through her gloves. She gained her composure and smirked at him. "So tell me, who do I remind you of?"
"Mina," Abraham replied, studying Integral Hellsing.
"You don't expect me to believe that you are talking about Mina Harker." Integral challenged him.
"You don't have to believe it, Integral, but it is true. Both you and Mrs. Harker are incredibly strong, determined, and stubborn women, ladies ahead of your time. And you share the curse of being desired by the devil himself. Dracula." The ghost reached for one of Integral's cigars. "Do you mind? I haven't had one of these in over 100 years."
"You are mistaken; I am not that much like her. He will never drink from my neck. Dracula serves me now and destroys vampires." Integral sipped on her tea studying the ghost of her great-grandfather.
"Don't you remember your father's warnings about how clever the vampire is? You are closer to being bitten than you realize, Integral. You do realize Integral that Mina had her husband and myself to protect her from Dracula. Who will protect you?"
Integral laughed at his question. "Mina, if what Father told me was true, is the one who led you to Dracula. You never would have found him if it hadn't been for her. She was smarter than all of you. As for me, I don't need any protection from him. I will protect myself."
Abraham Van Helsing put his hand on Integral's and the room became immersed in total darkness. Moments later, she was watching several scenes but none of them looked familiar to her, she wondered if they had taken place yet. All of London was in flames and she was trying to get away. Walter got out of the car and she took the steering wheel. No Walter, don't get out. She sensed something bad would happen. Integral watched as he fought and lost a battle with a Millenium soldier.
And then, darkness, a flash of bright light, and she was taken to a new scene. She watched the Captain, the Geese, and Seras fight. So many of her men were dying but Seras and Pip never gave up. Integral could not help but be proud of the girl. Seras Victoria had come such a long way since Alucard brought her to Hellsing.
Abraham and Integra walked along ground zero in London. The destruction of London both saddened and angered her. They will pay for this, she thought. She watched as her city was attacked by both Iscariot and Millenium forces but finally, her knight arrived. Integral smiled as she watched herself order the deaths of all humans and monsters that opposed Hellsing. Her excitement grew as she watched Alucard's minion slaughter the Iscariot knights and Millenium vampires. They all deserved to die for attacking her city, every last one of them. They will learn what happens when they attack me.
Abraham watched Integral with a look of concern on his face. "There is only one last thing I want to show you." He turned Integral around and pointed.
Integral grinned at what she saw. If watching the slaughter had been foreplay, this was indeed the orgasm. The vision of herself standing in a garden of impaled corpses and her knight bowed before her was so beautiful that it almost took her breath away. Nothing she had experienced in life had aroused her quite like this.
Was this her future? If it was, Integral could not wait for it to happen. She did not want to lose the soldiers, especially Pip, but losses in war were inevitable. Seras will be okay, she thought, Alucard and I will comfort her. A small voice inside of Integral told her she should not be getting excited over something that could not be real but at the moment, she did not care.
"What has he done to you, Integral? Are you not a Hellsing? How can you smile at such an evil vision? You are acting as if he has turned you! Some of the impaled are humans, Integral. Do you think he does it for himself? He wants you, Integral. Do you really think he will take no for an answer?"?
"Abraham, you obviously do not know Dracula very well or perhaps the experiments did change him. "Alucard obeys my orders and he would not do anything to me unless I asked him too." Integral expected the old man to argue with her, tell her that she was wrong but instead she was immersed in darkness. When the darkness turned to light, Integral realized she was in her office.
● ● ●
On a ship in the Atlantic Ocean, Warrant Officer Schrödinger gave a full report of everything he had witnessed in the Hellsing mansion to Major Montana Max as Doc listened. The Major's smile grew as the catboy's described what he had heard at the Hellsing mansion.
"That is splendid, simply splendid, Schrödinger. Integral Hellsing is a superior adversary - Alucard has prepared her well." The Major was becoming aroused just thinking about the symphony of death and destruction he and the Hellsing would create together. "I can hardly wait to meet Fraulein Hellsing on the battlefield; everything is going exactly as I have planned for fifty years." The Major stopped talking to take a bite of his sausage. "You have done well, Schrödinger, as has the butler."
"Yes Major," he replied, "I watched him drug her tea myself. I don't think he even knew what he was doing or why."
"Doc, when the Captain returns him to us, you will need to work quickly." Major Max told the Doctor.
"The preparations are complete, Major."
"Good, now sit and let us enjoy this feast. It may be the last supper we share before our victory." The Major said. Things were going better than he expected and Max could hardly wait for the war to begin.
● ● ●
Integral Hellsing rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock. Then, the memory of last night hit her and it took a minute for Integral to recover. Damn, did all of that really happen? Was it a dream or something far worst? She refused to believe that all that she saw was in her own mind. Integral rubbed her wrist, they were still sore. Uncle Richard did this! She examined them carefully and found a small bruise on both arms. Integral was not sure what to believe any more. She did not believe in ghosts but if he had not done it, who had?
Walter knocked loudly on the door to Integral's office. "Sir Integral, would you like some tea?"
"Yes, please." Integral pushed the thought from her mind. She did not have time to think about last night. She walked over to the couch and sat down.
Walter poured a cup of tea for himself and Integral. He joined Integral on the sofa but frowned as he sat down. "Where could this have come from?" He asked rubbing the sofa.
"What is it Walter?" Integral asked.
"This," Walter held up a small piece of hair. "If I didn't know any better, I would think that this was cat hair."
"Cat hair? But we don't have any cats."
"I'm sure of it. I will talk with the staff after the meeting." Walter replied.
"Thank you, Walter." But Integral Hellsing did not think her butler would discover that any of them owned a cat. Something told her, the cat hair and whatever she saw last night, was from the same source – Millenium. She grinned, thinking of how wonderful it would feel to crush them. Hurry home, Alucard.