AN: Set in the mangaverse after the war with Millenium and very AU. Just a little on the lemony side.
Disclaimer: Hellsing is owned by Kohta Hirano.
Seras wondered if it was real. If he was. Maybe I'm just making this all up in my mind, she thought. The vampire didn't think it was possible. Seeing or feeling things that weren't there is what the insane did. Had she started to lose her mind like Alucard? Impossible, she thought. I don't feel crazy. Still, Seras had lost so much during the war; perhaps surviving had come at a cost.
The first time it happened, Seras was so frightened that she ran away. She arrived at the grave just before dusk to tell him she was sorry…about everything - the hard time she always gave him when he was alive, not being strong enough to save him, and most of all for his death. Her eyes filled with tears as the pain from her loss consumed her. She didn't mind, the vampire wanted to hurt; it was the only thing that lessened her guilt. Seras turned around to leave when she felt something touch her arse. She wouldn't even have thought twice about it, but then the humming started. The tune sounded familiar and it annoyed her. Where did I hear that before? A few seconds passed before she remembered. That song, she thought. Someone was humming the tune to The Eskimo Song. It could be no one else except for the perverted Captain.
"Ne pleurez pas, cherìe. Please don't cry." His voice whispered into her ear.
Seras jumped back from his grave. "What in the bloody hell?" He can't be talking to me – he is dead. Pip died in my arms. I must be going insane if I'm hearing his voice. Seras wondered if vampires could lose their minds but then she thought of her master. Alucard certainly acted crazy at times and she had no desire to end up like him. Something grabbed at her breast and it was more than Seras could handle. There was no one at the grave but her and yet she was hearing voices and feeling things. I can't take this. I can't. She stopped fighting her tears and let them fall. "I'm sorry Pip," Seras yelled as she ran away from the grave.
Seras stayed away from Pip's grave after that night but she was haunted by the thoughts of her visit every day. The memory of the words he whispered to her and the touch on her arse would not let her be. As hard as she tried to block the memory from her mind, it invaded her dreams nearly every night. And there were some nights when she woke up and swore that Pip was in the room with her. Nothing Seras did seemed to work. Staying alone in her room only made her think about Pip more and when she tried to keep busy training new soldiers, Seras saw Pip in every one of the soldiers' eyes. There were days that she wanted to fall apart and retreat to her room, but as a member of Hellsing there were duties to perform. Seras struggled through her evenings training the soldiers and spent all of her free time alone in her room. The vampire was beginning to wonder if she would ever get over Pip's memory. The answer was given to her by conversation with Integral. Even if Seras' master did not notice her suffering, her boss did.
She was in her office to report on the progress of the soldiers' training when Integral asked her. Integral poured herself and Seras a glass of blood. She studied her Captain for a few moments trying to determine her mood. "Seras," she said, "you don't seem yourself lately. Is everything all right?"
Seras shrugged and looked down. "I'm fine, Sir. I suppose I just miss him."
"Why did you stop visiting his grave then? Did it upset you?" Integral asked.
"Well…I'm not sure. Not really, it is just that I thought…I know it sounds crazy but I felt him there." Seras looked at Integral. I'm sure she thinks I'm insane now.
"I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing." Integral said, inhaling on her cigar.
"Not a bad thing? But Sir, it's not normal to see dead people! I don't want lose my mind like---I mean I just didn't like it."
"Did you ever consider the possibility that what you felt may have been his ghost?" Integral asked.
Pip's ghost? The thought wasn't an unpleasant one. If Pip was a ghost now, her behavior would have hurt him - that is, if ghost even had feelings. Seras felt a chill remembering his whisper in her ear. She was still deep in thought when Integral's phone rang and Seras felt like she had been woken up from a wonderful dream.
"Hello Father," Integral said into the phone. "A meeting? I don't see why that is really necessary." Silence followed for a few moments. "Fine, if you insist, let me check my calendar."
The interruption was Seras' chance to leave. She waved good-bye to Integral and left quickly. The vampire almost felt guilty for leaving her to deal with Iscariot alone but she had some thinking to do.
And here I am again, she thought, at the same place that I ran away from. Maybe I am crazy. Seras didn't quite believe it herself. Part of her was still a little afraid. What if it was not Pip's ghost that touched her? Maybe she was losing contact with reality but part of her did not care if what she felt, what she heard wasn't real. Losing some of her sanity was worth the chance to see Pip again, wasn't it?
A few hours had passed since Seras arrived at his grave and nothing had happened. She had not seen, heard, or felt anything unusual. "Damn," she said aloud, maybe it was just that night. Seras looked at the name on his tombstone and started to walk away. Tears started to build up in her eyes but Seras held them back. She was supposed to be strong now, she couldn't cry.
Seras smiled as a gentle breeze blew her hair back. The wind blew up her shirt slightly and Seras laughed. She was almost afraid to think that it was Pip. If she wanted something bad, she was sure it would never come true. Seras received her answer when the buttons on her blouse popped open. The wind could not do that.
"Pip?" She called.
He responded with a touch. A moan escaped her throat when his ghost started to caress her breasts with his cool hands. Seras leaned back into one of the invisible arms and enjoyed the pleasure his touches gave her.
"I had given up on you, cherìe." He whispered into her ear.
"Pip! I-I-I'm sorry." After the words left her mouth, an image of the mercenary started to form. She tried to hug Pip but her hands went right through him. "Why…can't I touch you?"
Pip grinned at her, "Sorry, girlie, I don't have a body anymore. This is as good as it gets. You can't touch me. I'm not solid."
Seras frowned at his remark. "I can't? But I don't understand, a few minutes ago---"
"I said you couldn't touch me. I am able," Pip said, running his hands down Seras body, "to touch you."
Seras smiled as Pip's hands roamed her body. She watched Pip stroke her in places that had never been touched before. "Pip," she moaned.
"Migonette, come down here with me." Pip whispered, pulling Seras to the ground. "Are you sure you want me to do this?"
Seras smiled at him, unable to speak. Pip moved her legs apart gently and she didn't resist, a reaction that surprised even her. It shouldn't have because she had wanted this since the day they kissed, maybe even longer.
She closed her eyes as the knickers were slipped off her legs. Seras shivered when she felt the cool sensation between her legs when Pip entered her.
Pip kissed her breasts as he moved inside of her and his ministrations sent her over the edge. A feeling of total bliss settled over her body and Seras could not help but smile. Pip laid his head on one of her breasts and he gently squeezed the other. "Pervert," she whispered, as she drifted off to sleep.
From the woods, Integral and Alucard watched. They could not see Pip and Alucard was confused by the sight of Seras writhing on the ground. "What is she doing?"
Integral chuckled at his comment. "I think it is quite obvious what she is doing, Count. Seras told me a ghost came to visit her the last time she visited his grave. Maybe it is true."
"A ghost. That's ridiculous, Integral. I would feel his presence." Alucard turned his head from Seras. He didn't feel right watching her in such a private moment.
"Perhaps, you are right. Seras was worried she was losing her mind, feeling and hearing things that weren't there." Integral replied.
"She seems quite normal inside the mansion."
"Yes she does. I don't think it matters, Alucard, if it is a delusion or a ghost. Seras deserves a little happiness, doesn't she?" Integra leaned back into Alucard. She purred as the Count groped her breast. And Seras thought that her Captain was the pervert?
Seras closed her eyes while she rested. When she opened them, Pip was gone. "Pip?"
"I'm here, Seras, but you better go. I think your family is curious about what you're doing. Next time, cherìe, don't make me wait so long." Pip's voice whispered into her ear. He pushed the hair from her eyes and kissed her softly on the lips before leaving.
Seras blushed when she realized Pip was right, she felt her Master's presence. The vampire buttoned her shirt as fast as she could. Did they actually watch us? The very thought terrified her and Seras turned to mist and hurried back to the mansion. The one thing she did not want was to face Alucard or even Integral so soon after her activities with Pip.
In the months that followed, Seras visited Pip's grave every week. She wanted to come more often but was afraid that Alucard or Integral would figure out what she was doing. The visits still frightened her a little and she still wasn't sure if he was a ghost or a delusion, but with each visit Seras cared less and less whether or not what Pip was – she refused to lose him again, no matter what it cost her.