'Here I am' shouted Harry, causing all the passer-by's to look at him. 'Did you all miss me?' said Harry in a voice similar to tweety's. All the witches and wizards just ignored him and continued to walk.
Harry was feeling quite disappointed by the fact that nobody seemed to have missed his presence. So he decided to go and try and pick a fight with one of the passer-by's. He shouted to a rather large looking wizard 'hey fuck face, move!' shouted Harry, not being able to hold himself. 'What did you say?' asked the large wizard, Harry stared at him stupidly for a moment and answered... 'I believe I said 'hey fuck face, move!'
The large wizard took out his wand, but before he had a chance to use it on Harry, he shouted, with his own and pointed at him 'expelliames!' sending the large wizards flying with such force that he broke the window of Flourish and Blotts.
By the time this happened, 5 people were watching Harry and got into the fight, wands drawn. He quickly disguised his face to look like Neville Longbottom's, and started throwing punches and hexing anyone who got near him, until the fight became a full blown riot, and a Magical Law Enforcement squad came to break it up. Meanwhile, Harry sneaked away to Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes, laughing his head off all the way.
He found Fred and George bleeding and dishevelled, but smiling. 'Hi Harry, did you see the fight down there?' asked Fred. 'Yes, as a matter of fact I started it', Harry answered with a goofy grin. 'Listen Harry you shouldn't have done that, it really isn't right!' said George 'what has our world come to when our little Harry potter has decided to wreak havoc on the civilised world' snickered Fred.
'On a serious note' said Fred 'that was bloody brilliant! I wish we'd have thought of that' said the twins in unison. 'I'm a little teapot!' shouted Harry. 'What the bloody hell is he on about' whispered Fred into his brother's ear.
Harry then, without any notice whatsoever he, started dancing around their shop, and picking up all sorts of items screaming 'why walk, when you can dance!' Fred couldn't help but snicker at Harry's absolute madness. 'By the way Georgy porgy what's going on with my two best mates, I hear they got married?' said Harry his eyes sparkling. George looked at his twin, 'well actually, Ron is rather concerned abo—'he was cut off by Harry screaming 'what do you mean 'concerned' he is married now, that was more than obvious, and he should be concerned. Anyway, why didn't you attend the ceremony?' asked Harry, his eyes expressing anger. Fred countered, 'are you serious, Harry?' 'Of course not, I'm Harry! anyway, I must get going, thanks for the stuff'. He dropped a Galleon on the counter and dissaparated.
He left the twins gaping, 'How does he know how to apparate? and how come he is not even bruised if he started the fight, and he didn't get caught!.' 'I think we have a worthy substitute in Hogwarts', George answered as he absently touched the coin. Suddenly a turkey appeared in his place and started gobbling madly and jumping around the shop, while Fred rolled on the floor laughing his balls off. 'That boy is a natural'.
Harry found himself back at the Burrow; seeming different he knocked on the door, and found that he was opened by Hermione, still dressed in the tuxedo 'Harry! It wont come off, what the hell is wrong with you, fix this now!' she screeched 'ok, if you say so' said Harry with a familiar expression of slyness. Unexpectedly the tuxedo began to increase in size, falling off, leaving Hermione in her underwear 'there you go, your wish was my command, nice undies by the way' said Harry, with a big smile across his face.
A loud screech was heard through the entire house, Hermione quickly ran up to her room to find some clothes. Harry was feeling happy that he had done his friend a favour. He thought that he should make up for the trouble he had caused in Diagon alley, so he decided to pay a little visit to Ginny who he had not seen in a very long time.
Harry made his way to Ginny's (and Hermione's) room. Straight away she asked, 'what the hell just happened?' 'It is very simple. As you know, Ron and Hermione got married, she probably felt uncomfortable, and asked me to take her clothes off, which is what I did' he answered with a straight face. 'Actually, I should decorate the newlyweds' room. Wanna help?'. This said he left to Ron's room, expanded his bed, forming a heart-shaped one, made the walls pink, with hearts and conjured rose bushes around the bed. He hadn't noticed Ron's presence on his bed, who fell through it as is temporarily disappeared, until he saw it move. Something under it was trying to get out, but the thorns were blocking his way. 'I'm gonna kill you for this Harry', screamed Ron.
Harry just said 'Oops' and with a flick of his hand Ron appeared a foot above his bed and bounced from it onto the bushes, where he landed with renewed swearwords. Ginny, who had watched Harry from the door, couldn't contain herself anymore and started laughing as loud as Harry, who due to his immense laughter was on all fours, hitting the floor and occasionally howling, singing ' I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and gay….lalalala' . It took a long time for their laughter to subside.
It was broken by Mrs. Weasley's call, 'Come down, children, your Hogwarts letters arrived. Ron, Hermione and Harry, your OWL results are here too'. Hermione run down the stairs into the kitchen, looking more excited than ever, 'Are they really here, Oh god I'm so nervous'. The others walked in after her, Harry surreptitiously flicked his hand at Hermione's envelope before getting his own. Hermione went white before reading out her letter 'It can't be, 'Miss Granger, because of your abysmal results, the board of governors has decided to expel you from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, signed, Harry Jamesie Potty, Acting Headmaster'. As she said this she relaxed, before slapping Harry, 'You bastard!' he slumped to the ground unconscious.
She bent over him, and stared at him worriedly for a moment. He abruptly opened his eyes, and laughed, 'Got you again! I thought you were better than that'. The whole room laughed, as Hermione scolded him, 'you are worse than the twins, you know'
Now lest all look at our results, Ron you go first molly urged:
Ron's results
•Divination: D •Transfiguration: A •Charms: E •Potions: A •History of magic: D •Care of magical creatures: E •Defence against the dark arts: E
'Well Ronald, those have to be the worst results anybody in our family( except the twins) but overall not bad, not bad at all, at least you achieved five' said molly.
Now how about you, Hermione, share your results (Harry already changed them back to normal).
•Arithmancy: O •Transfiguration: O •Charms: O •Potions: O •History of magic: O •Care of magical creatures: O •Defence against the dark arts: E •Ancient runes: O •Muggle studies: O
'Well dear, those are pretty good, keep up the good work' said molly Weasly. 'Sorry Mya but those marks, but I am impressed with you punches though, so I'll say keep up the great work'
'Well Harry, you don't think my results are good let's see yours' said Hermione over-confidently. Her mouth dropped open when she glanced at his results, he achieved outstanding for every subject! Every single person in the room, just stared at Harry, who seemed indifferent about his results 'who is up for some scrumptious rock cakes Hagrid makes' said Harry looking excited 'but Hagrid isn't here Harry' said Ron 'he isn't? How can this be? And on my birthday' panted Harry 'oh yea that's right' shouted Hermione, almost going crazy herself, 'it is Harry's birthday, lets celebrate it'
'Oh sorry Harry' all the Weasleys and Hermione in unison, we forgot it was your birthday 'oh its ok you guys, with all the things going on who wouldn't forget my birthday, you two are married'
Everybody just began to laugh, and decided that they should celebrate Harry's birthday by spending that evening at a place of Harry's choice. Harry just grabbed everyone and apparated them to the CN Tower restaurant, in Toronto. Arthur seemed so excited that he might piss himself, while everyone else noticed they were wearing clowns' clothing and being stared at by everyone in the restaurant. Harry was nowhere to be seen, as he had gone to pick up the twins. He was back with them in a few seconds, with the twins dressed like the rest.
'I believe I have a reservation for the Moose Beano and his gang of unruly individuals' said Harry to the manager. 'Are you sure about that sir?' asked the manager. 'Never been surer of anything in my life', answered Harry, grinning like a pelican. 'Well, I'm afraid you have not got one sir'. 'Are you calling me a liar?' replied Harry with a dangerous tone. 'Of course not sir, I am afraid one of my waiters made a mistake, but it does not matter, take this table', he said, pointing to one at the end of the restaurant. 'That was wicked, Harry' said the twins, looking thoroughly impressed. They each ordered their food, but Harry had decided that it would be funny to decide on it, so when the food arrived he turned their drinks into whiskey, but keeping its previous appearance and taste.
Half way through the meal, Arthur asked him, 'Harry, I know you are enjoying yourself (he had made his macaroni grow legs and was chasing them around his plate), but how did you apparate us all here half way across the world, and the Muggles did not notice it, or the magic you are doing'. He answered, 'Simple, I confounded them' and out of the blue he began to sing, 'Happy Birthday to me, I climbed up a tree, I shitted on a leaf, and took a pee'.
He noticed the family was drunk by now, and proceeded to stand them by their table, and conjured a camera out of thin air to take a picture of them dressed as clowns.
He then warned them, 'say two balls in bag, dangling by a string when I take the picture. They were so drunk they did so, and Ron was so blinded by the flash that he asked 'Whoa man! The light is so bright, are you god or something!' Harry noticed everybody was drunk happy, so he yelled 'Mischief managed!' before grabbing their swaying bodies and apparating back to the Burrow, without paying their bill.
A/N: This is the third chapter. Hope you liked it. Feel free to review with any ideas. Please review!