Harry Potter (POV)

Somewhere between working for the Order and asking my fiancé to work for me, I forgot that Blaise can't be totally unaffected by sleeping with Malfoy.

I came home today, and found her crying in our room. Seeing her so vulnerable really hit home hard; I never wanted to make her so miserable, but I did somewhere along the line and I can only apologise repeatedly for that. I hope taking her out to dinner was a good start.

She's looking at me sadly, and I can almost read what's going on in her mind. She still feels guilty for sleeping with that pig.

"It's okay" I say, "you don't have to feel bad. I was so caught up in what was best for the Order, I forgot about what's best for us. I'm sorry"

"Don't be" she says, "you asked me to do it; I could've said no. But I didn't, so therefore it's not your fault."

"Well" I say, "don't beat yourself up about it anymore. You don't have to do it anymore, if you don't want to"

"Let's forget about it shall we?" she says, smiling.

"Of course" I agree.

So the night passed in perfection; I can see Blaise visibly relaxing now that she doesn't have to think about Malfoy, and it's nice to see her genuine smile again.

But sometime, during the main course, a slight irritation crept into the conversation.

Blaise kept saying sorry for what she'd done, and I kept brushing away her apologies, saying that it didn't matter anymore. But she went ahead and kept apologising.

"I get it" I said tightly, when she'd said it for the sixth time.

She looked at me strangely and the atmosphere between us suddenly tensed.

During the remainder of the main course, we talked less and barely exchanged glances. I don't know why but seeing Blaise looking subdued at her plate only irritated me even further.

The only reason I can think of that made me angry at her, is that she had only recently slept with Malfoy, and that had a bigger effect on me than I'd first thought.
So I asked her several questions about how she'd met Malfoy that day, and her replies were monosyllabic.

Eventually it just annoyed me so much that I turned on her.

"Could you say more than yes or no?" I snapped.

"It's difficult to relive" she replied tightly, "sorry if that's an inconvenience"

"Inconvenience my arse" I said harshly, "you just don't want to tell me"

I'll say now that I was paranoid and jealous, so I acted like a five year old. Don't hold it against me.

"Well if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have to tell you" she said darkly.

I listened in shock at her words; "Excuse me for asking you to do something for me. It can't have been too much against your will; you hopped into bed with him easily enough" I spat.

Blaise looked at me, hurt glimmering in her eyes, but I was too far gone to give a damn.

"I can't believe you!" she hissed, "You asked me to do it, without giving me much of a choice, and now you're saying that it's my fault, and that I'm basically a whore? That seems pretty screwed logic if you ask me"

"That's not the only thing that's getting screwed is it?" I asked venomously.

Blaise stood up, slamming her knife and fork down on the table, and almost turning her chair over.

"Thanks very much for that." She said furiously, "Now I know what you really think, everything else is pretty clear all of a sudden. It seems I've been wasting my time feeling guilty for sleeping with Malfoy, since you don't really give a shit about me. I'm going home; and Harry? When you finally get it into your thick skull, I hope you realise what you've lost. It's such a pity you're not getting it back"

She turned and took a step, then she looked back at me;

"And for your information, I enjoyed every second of it."

Then she really did leave, and I felt like such a shit.

There were people staring at me, with accusing looks on their faces.

"Mind your own bloody business!" I snapped at a woman at the next table, who was looking at me with the most infuriating contrary expression.

I followed Blaise's lead and stood up. I threw some notes on the table and stalked out of the restaurant.

When I finally got a taxi, it was beginning to rain; so I had to stand outside in the freezing cold for about half an hour until it pulled up on the curb.

At home, Blaise was already asleep in bed, so I took some blankets from the linen cupboard and slept on the couch.

If only I hadn't blown up at Blaise like that; we could've been happily sat in the restaurant, anticipating the night ahead.

But I did and now I'm laid here on this bloody couch and feeling every bit as regretful as I should be.