Note: I pwn3d all these characters, but Paramount owns them.
"Hey, Zuko, over here!" Sonny shouted in his usual obnoxious tone. Sonny was sitting in a booth at his favorite burger joint eating a nice meatless tofu burger with a side of bean sprouts. He was sipping on some chocolate soymilk while snapping his fingers to "You Found Another Guy" by: Boy George on the jukebox. Danny Zuko walked up to him, gave him a big smooch right on the mouth, and sat down across from him.
"Hey, pookie, this place is so cute! Oh my gosh, I just, like, love it! It was far, but atleast no one familiar will see us." Zuko babbled. "That is why I asked you to come here. Look, this is getting out of hand. Why should we have to hide our love? Is it really that wrong? I don't care what the hell anyway says, I love you, and no one can tell me that is wrong. I hate us having to lie to everyone, especially Marty and Sandy. I mean, I love Marty, just not that way…" Sonny trailed off.
"Oh my gosh! Sonny, being serious? What are you, gay? Just kidding, pookie! I know how you feel. I've been having the same thoughts. If our friends really love us, they'll accept us for who we are, fags and all!" Zuko gaily proclaimed.
"My thoughts exactly! I thought they'd take a hint by now, I mean, seriously, we're always fixing our hair, popping our collars, and slapping each other's butts. It's pretty obvious. I can't believe they haven't figured out that Grease is just a slang term that means anal lube." Sonny said analytically. "Ugh, I know! Everything I say ends with an exclamation point! Do I sound straight to you? Hell no, girlfriend!" Zuko sassily spoke.
"Let's make a pact. Tomorrow at school, let's act as gay as possible, and be all over each other. For now on, we won't lie about our gayness. Let's just be as open as possible, and see what happens. Are you up for it?" questioned Sonny daringly. "Well, only if I get to wear those cute shorts you bought me in Cancun." Zuko winked.
"Oh, sweetie, the honor would be mine." Sonny sassed flirtatiously, until he realized it made no sense.
"Okay….then I won't wear them." Zuko monotonously spoke in a turned off way.
The next day the two strolled up to school hand in hand. They both wore matching (and quite cute) outfits. They were composed of tight khaki pants, white long sleeve collared shirts with vertical blue stripes, and navy blue vests that each had their names embroidered into them. Of course, their collars were popped, and sleeves were rolled.
"Hey there, Marty girlfriend!" Sonny shrieked as he broke off his grip from Zuko.
"Oh, hey!" Marty greeted him sweetly, completely oblivious to his queerness.
"Oh my gosh, stay right there, in that position. Your thighs…they look fabulous in those jeans! I'd like to put them in a pipe and smoke it." Sonny said in a shrilly fashion.
"Really, you think? You are the sweetest boyfriend in the whole world, Sonny!" and for that he received a big smacker on the cheek.
"Gee, that's swell…" Sonny was starting to tell that his plan might not work after all.
The bell rang. Everyone scampered to their first block of classes at Rydell High. Sonny's first class was Physical Education. He knew this was a good way to show off how gay he was to the world.
"Alright, ya land lovers. Ya first task is to climb this here rope. Make sure ya don't burn ye wang!" Pirate Bob told the students.
Hearing this, Sonny pulled out a bottle of Astroglide, his favorite anal lubricant, from his pocket. He rubbed it all over where the sun didn't shine, knowing for sure someone would call him a homo.
That call never came.
Instead, all the guys in his class (mostly from the football team) told him they left their bottles at home, and asked to borrow his. They all lathered up and got ready to climb the rope. One by one they climbed, and then slid down, as if pushed by liquid silk. When the bell rang, they all ran to the locker rooms for a nice, hot shower.
Sonny was completely baffled now. "Is this the 1950s, or what?" he thought, "I haven't been called a fag once all day! There must be something wrong. I'm gay, why won't they notice it?"
Just then, a group of sparkling clean football players came up to him. They all seemed to have snarls on their faces. Looks like his question will be answered shortly…