Disclaimer: the only thing that belongs to me is the poem, nothing else.
A/N: I wrote this poem and then thought of the fic to go with it…shrug too much time too little to do…
I am empty,
Emptiness is the only thing I feel.
Nothing exists,
Not beyond the desolate hollowness,
The hollowness that is my mind.
I am hollow.
I am nothing,
I have nothing of my own,
Nothing to call my own,
Save a mind of broken dreams,
Shards of shattered memories.
I just am.
There is nothing in me,
Only what people see,
A broken man,
A tortured soul,
One who turned to dark,
To abandon the light.
I left everything behind.
I left love I left life,
I left myself,
I lost who I truly was.
I had forgotten.
There was nothing to remember,
Nothing beyond pain and horrors,
Horrors that sent me insane.
I clung to the last shred of my sanity,
And then I fell,
I fell back to you.
I had been defeated. By the same stranger, I had faced him thrice, and thrice he won, yet the first time…that amulet…why was is so familiar? I had one like it…why? Where was the thing I seemed to prize beyond all else, although I did not know why?
Why was that stranger so familiar? Why was it a face that my heart remembered clearly, and yearned for with a painful longing? I do not know. He seemed to remember me, I remember the look of surprise on his face, the shock, how did he know me? Why would he want to know me?
I am nothing. Nihil, they call me, it means nothing. Who would willingly seem upset on delivering the supposed killing blow like he did? Is it possible someone truly cared for me? No, no one could care, not for a thing such as I. Who was I really?
Why do I remember splinters of a life before this pain…before my slavery? I remember feelings that I have never experienced…is it all a trick? Is my master just playing with me? Giving me false sense of security only to rip it from me violently as he always does?
I do not know anymore. This uncertainty is scaring me, I have never been afraid of anything…yet the notion of everything I have ever known being questioned…it is a terrifying thought, one I wish to be rid of. I know what I am, who I am, don't I? Why am I questioning myself like this? What makes me do it?
I hate it, please, I want it taken away? I want no memories of my failure, it is too much to bear. That face…it haunts me still, who was he? I do not remember encountering such a warrior before, but this familiarity is…overwhelming…I should know him, what is left of my heart seems to, why doesn't my mind?
I just want this suffering to end, I am too weak to fight it anymore, I can feel the call of death, the same call I have heard many times before, but it has never been granted, why not then? Will I be granted such a small mercy this time? I hope so, I want to be free of this existence.
I could hear someone walking toward me, perhaps someone has found me, perhaps this person would be the one to release me from this hell that is my life, all of the pain and suffering, why did it suddenly repulse me? I have committed such horrors, I was suddenly feeling sick over the thought. What was happening to me?
I weakly looked up to see the same man as before staring down at me, maybe he had found the mercy within him to finish me off, I lowered my head and close my eyes, ready to welcome this killing blow he should deliver, yet it did not come, why did he want to prolong my suffering?
Something cold touched my face lightly, I opened my eyes a little to find it was his bare hand, he had gloves on before, I hesitantly look up to him and saw everything but the cold his hands otherwise suggested. His eyes…they hold such sadness…such…despair…why?
"Vergil," he whispered softly as he knelt by me and took me in his arms ever so gently, a gentleness I had not felt in such a long time…it was starting to come back to me, in a burst of painful memory, full of love and kindness…thoughts and feelings I never thought I was going to experience again.
"Dante…" my hoarse voice croaked out, looking up weakly, he was my twin, my brother, the other half of my darkened soul, my light, I remembered everything, the love we had shared, the argument after mother…I felt something dampen my cheek and I realised it was me…for the first time I remembered, I cried.
He looked over me a short while longer, "I am sorry Verge," he whispered in a soft, pain filled voice, "It should never have gone this far between us…I should have tried to help you more than I did."
I noticed he too was crying, a few tears slipped onto my face to join my own, my shaky and bloody hand tentatively reached up weakly, gently brushing the tears from his face, "Never…your fault…" how long had I been gone? I barely remembered the language I was brought up with.
Dante smiled down to me softly, "I never did stop loving you Verge," he spoke so gently, "I had to come back and look for you…I'm glad I did…" he stood, with me in his arms, I was grateful, although I would never admit it, I knew I lacked the strength to stand by myself.
He paused a moment and nearly dropped me, my armour was too heavy for him to carry, he slowly took it off and placed it down and it was then I knew that the dark past of m y life was being left behind, as he wrapped his red jacket around me carefully as I practically wore nothing beneath my armour.
He carried me through the crumbled halls, it looked as if the castle had been caught in an earthquake, and he took me outside and for the first time in I can't remember how long, I actually felt alive, just by being out of that castle and under the light of the sun, but more importantly, i felt alive being in the arms of the one I love again.
You brought me back from the dark,
You are the light that slays my shadows,
You are my world, You are my life, my love,
You are my twin, my brother, my lover,
My everything.
