Draco Malfoy
How many times have I stared into those deep blue eyes in the past few days? How many times have I kissed those lips? I can't count the amount of times I've done so; but how can I kill her when I still feel something for her? Even though I know she betrayed me and that she doesn't really love me, I could quite easily forgive her everything just to know she didn't hate me. But I disobeyed my master for her, and look where that got me.
I honestly thought Voldemort was going to kill me earlier. When he raised his wand, I thought "Avada Kedavra" was going to come from his lips instead of "Crucio." But I was wrong, thank God; I was wrong. I can't defy Voldemort again, or he really will kill me.
I hate the fact that I've become exactly what my father became; a slave to a power-mad killer. I swore that I would never follow in his footsteps, but here I am, walking the same metaphorical ground he did and doing the bidding of a higher power. How could I have taken the same path as my father when I did my best to do the opposite?
Pansy was one of the best things that ever happened to me, yet I had thrown it away just for a moment of heated passion with a girl I thought was serious when she said she loved me. And now I find that I can't even look at her directly, because I get that deep, guilty feeling instead of the previous shudder of lust.
Blaise looked at me with dark fury in her eyes. I found myself slightly chilled at that look, but I gripped my wand tighter than ever and threw a Stunning Spell at her; she didn't have to die yet. If only I could explain that I had orders to kill her.
Why am I wasting time? I wondered, vaguely aware that I was supposed to be killing Blaise. Voldemort will kill me if I don't do it.
She dodged the spell and sent one right back at me. Surprisingly I feel glad that I missed. I am supposed to be unattatched to my victims; why do I feel a strong wall of emotion stopping me from hurting her in any way? I know I can't kill her in cold blood; we've shared too much for that. And yes, I know it was all a lie, but I think some part of me still loves her for some reason.
So that's how it went for a while; I threw spells, curses, hexes at her, she dodged them and sent them back, and it was my turn to dodge them. My fellow Death Eaters had their hands full with Blaise's friends; I should've helped them, but I was too engrossed with not killing Blaise that I forgot everything else.
I wish I had never been tempted into sleeping with her. I wished I'd never hurt Pansy, and that I'd made the Malfoy name one of respect instead of hearing people talk about it with that degree of both fear and contempt in their voices. But I failed, and I am paying the heavy price for that.
Then I heard a triumphant shriek from Voldemort and I turned. He had Potter tied in magical ropes and struggling to get free. I caught my master's eye and I knew he was about to put me under the Imperius Curse. I must have been taking too long to kill Blaise and Voldemort was sick of waiting.
The spell hit me with so much force that I stumbled backwards. But the bliss of not having to think took over and I heard Voldemort's voice in my mind.
"Kill her!" It said, in such a soothing voice I was obliged to do as it asked, "Kill her now!"
In my mind's eye, I saw Blaise's back was facing me. She was trying desperately to fight her way through Death Eaters and Order members to get to Harry. Now was the perfect time to strike.
I raised my wand; noticing that she wasn't going to turn and see me. That she wasn't going to be able to protect herself or jump out of the way. Even though my mind and body were under my master's control, I still felt guilty that she would never reach Potter, or that she would never get to marry him.
But: "AVADA KEDAVRA!" I said regardless, hearing my voice echo around the entrance of Gringotts, and watching the arrow of green light tearing through the air towards her.