Disclaimer: I don't own Captain Jack Sparrow.
A/N: This is what Black Friday does to you-makes you think you see fictional characters. How depressing.
I know a man
His name is Jack
He's captain of the Pearl.
He's really funny
And oh so cunning
But he walks like a girl.
I told him that
It's not so bad
Looking so very dumb.
He told me, "Shut up,"
So I gave him a cup
Of the Caribbean's finest rum.
He got really drunk
And almost sunk
Under the blue-green sea.
I saved his life
And he kissed me thrice,
So I'm as happy as can be.