Author's Notes: I don't own it. Review.

Dobby the house elf was on his way to the kitchens after a particularly wonderful shopping spree through the Slytherins' dirty laundry; he was on a quest for socks. He managed to find a hot pink sock with neon green drawings of snitches and navy blue trim, so he was extremely pleased. He had always loved mismatched socks, and that color combination topped the charts in Dobby's world. As he was nearing the painting in front of the kitchens, he could hear a faint singing that seemed to grow louder as he approached. He discerned that the singing was coming from the kitchen: Winky, to be exact.

Winky: We want Dobby

Give us Dobby

D. O. double B. Y.

We're all his

He's our kind of elf

And ooh what luck

'Cause here he is...

Dobby tickled the pear and made a dramatic entrance. His wardrobe mysteriously changed into formal wear that Tarzan probably owned. It was a simple black sheet with a crooked, mismatched tie.

Dobby: Is everybody here?

Is everybody ready?

Hit it!

Suddenly, the lighting changed. The kitchens went dark and the countertops were immediately cleared off in a tidal wave of oversized ears. They were calling to him to jump up and start his show: The Counters. The spotlight was on them. It was his time—his time to perform.

Dobby: I don't care about expensive things

Bertie Botts, or Firebolts

Don't mean a thing

All I care about is socks

That's what I'm here for

He started to do an extremely fancy tap dance that involved a lot of twirling and jumping up and down, much like a drugged pair of scissors. (sry, inside joke) An umbrella appeared in his hand and he took full advantage of it and used the prop in place of an actual cane. The spotlight suddenly zoomed over to a small stool in the corner, where Winky was sitting, getting drunk with a small shot of Butterbeer.

Winky: That's what he's hiccup here for!

Dobby: I don't care for wearin' silk dress robes,

Hogwarts Scarves, Harry's scar

Don't mean a thing

All I care about is socks

Winky: All he cares about is socks hiccup

Dobby: Give me two

Socks of blue

Soft and cozy, I need you!

Let me see them on my feet

And honest, mister, I cannot be beat!

The spotlight seemed to follow his cue and shined brightly on the random socks that appeared to be materializing out of thin air for the purpose of Dobby's show.

I don't care for any fine attire

The Malfoys might admire

No, no, not me

All I care about is socks...

Winky: All he cares about is socks

Dobby: Maybe you think I'm talking about Polka dot socks.

Well, I'm not. Not just Polka dot socks. There's

other kinds of socks. Like socks mismatched. Socks

of Hermione's SPEW. Socks of stealing from the Slytherins that really loathe you. Socks of Harry Potter. That's the kind of socks I'm talkin' about.

And Polka dot socks ain't so bad either.

It may be sound odd

But all I care about is socks

That's what I'm here for

Winky: That's what he's here for

Dobby: Honest to Merlin

All I care about is socks

Winky: All he cares about is socks

Dobby: Show me long Soccer socks

Real comfy, for me to wear

Let me see

Them sold for free

Keep your Sickle, that's enough for me

I don't care for drivin' flying cars

Or drinking Fire Whiskey

No, no, not me

All I care about is

Doin' the guy in

Who's pickin, on you

Twistin' the ankle

That's holdin' the sock

All I care about is socks!

Winky: All he cares about is socks! hiccup

As Dobby finished his song, he finally noticed a horror-struck Harry and Ginny, laughing hysterically. Harry attempted to formulate a logical sentence, but all that came out was, "D—Dobby insane. Lunatic. Voldemort is trying to make me insane. It's all part of the evil, evil plan!" This, of course, only caused Ginny to laugh harder. When she was able to stop laughing she requested a large chocolate milkshake and two twisty straws for them. Dobby jumped off the counter and went on his way preparing a midnight snack for the Boy-Who-Is-Now-Legally-Insane and Ginny.