"WHEN I AM QUEEN"
Installment #2: "Glamour Ghouls"
Lorelai was still looking at me quizzically about the fading mark on my cheek as we walked through the town, on our way to Luke's.
"You sure there weren't any bikers and lowlifes?" she asked me concerned. I rolled my eyes and nodded as we walked up the steps and she opened the door.
He was inside, wiping off a table. I knew that the moment I went in, I wouldn't be able to avoid him. I knew I couldn't go in, I just couldn't. I don't know why I hadn't thought of the facts that he a- worked and b- lived there. I turned to Lorelai still holding the door.
"Uhm, mom, I left something at home. I'll be back in a couple of minutes."
"Hiding a biker or a lowlife under your bed, I see. Well, go, I don't want to keep him waiting," my mother jested, still obviously concerned. I turned and she went in.
I wasn't sure where I was walking, but I was walking and there was nothing stopping me. I'd have to meet up with my mother sometime. She'd find me. Eventually she'd figure out that Dean had hit me and I'd have to explain everything to her. At the moment, I didn't want to talk to Dean, Jess, or my mother.
My feet carried me to the old bridge where I sat down, letting lose a breath I had held for the past several months. I hadn't sorted through it all yet. However, now Lorelai was back and I'd have to go on with my life accordingly. I stared down at my sad reflection in the water and wondered if I were drowning.
"Mind if I sit?" a voice came from behind me. Jess's head floated above mine on the water and I shook my head silently. He sat down beside me, his legs dangling over the edge, swinging like rag dolls. We sat in silence, both staring at the water.
I was tired of thinking about everything. I was tired of thinking about how I feel around Jess and Dean and Lorelai. I was sick and tired of it. I sighed and twisted my head to face Jess.
"I want… I want you to leave me alone." His expression was emotionless, but there was something happening on the inside. His eyes suddenly flared.
"Okay then," he whispered, not understanding, but pretending to.
"Starting now."
"Okay," he said again. I could see heat rising in him and he balled his fingers into a fist. "Why?"
"Because… you're dangerous for me."
"How? How am I dangerous for you? All I've done since I met you was treated you with more respect than I've ever treated anybody with and you want me to leave you alone because I'm dangerous for you?"
"I kissed you. I let you kiss me. I'm not sure who instigated the kiss, but it happened. And it can't again, okay? So just stay away from me and Dean and my mother."
"I can't stay away from you and your mother, you come into Luke's every day."
"Then go back to New York," I said harshly. The hurt was now completely visible on his face. I couldn't look at him anymore.
"Wow. So. I would not have pegged you to be someone like that, Rory." He got up angrily.
"Jess, wait," I got up after him and grabbed his hand.
"What do you think is going to happen? I have been stepping on eggshells around you ever since I met you, trying to respect your wishes and your feelings. And this is what I get? You tell me to go back to New York."
"You hate it here anyway! What the hell is your problem?"
"What the hell is your problem, huh Gilmore? You have no right. No right whatsoever." He looked so angry and pained that it killed me inside. I felt tears well up and I let out a sob, falling into his arms. He was surprised but he stroked my back and sat us down. My legs were tucked under my body as he held me tightly, rocking me back and forth, stroking my back, telling me to shush.
I cried into his chest, entwining my fingers in his jacket and letting him hug me awkwardly. My tears were soaking his shirt and he just rocked me back and forth, telling me it would be okay, whatever it was. It just made me cry harder.
When I felt like I didn't have it in me to cry anymore, I pulled away a little bit so that our heads were level. I looked into his eyes and mine flickered to his lips and then back to his enticing gaze.
He leaned forward a little bit, waiting for my response. I was lost in his gaze and I responded his gesture, falling into the kiss. His hands, which were still on my back, pulled me closer to him, making attempts to deepen the kiss. It was like fire freezing in my veins. It was ecstasy being in his mouth and body and feeling the warmth of his torso emanating from beneath the thin cotton of his tee shirt.
I pulled away slowly, breathing heavily. He wiped a tear from my cheek and I smiled meekly at him. "Wanna tell me what's going on?" he asked, interested, allowing his hand to hold my chin gently. I turned away and refused to look him in the eye.
He just looked at me, caring more than I could've ever imagined. "I can't talk about it yet…" I stood up, leaving him sitting there, perplexed. "I have to meet my mom," I said self-consciously, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. Jess just stared after me, completely confused.
As I walked, I clutched my arms to my body. I was walking home. Clearly, Lorelai would've left Luke's by now. I was gone more than a half an hour.
I walked heavily into the house and an inundation of thoughts broke into my brain. I kissed Jess. Again. Dean would find out somehow. He just knew about this, didn't he? But I couldn't break up with him. My heart wanted to but my head told me that there was still some scene to be played out here.
I sat down on the couch with a magazine and flipped through absent-mindedly. Someone rapped on the door, causing me to jump. Before opening it, I could tell it was a really tall figure.
"Dean."
"Hi, Rory. How was your day?"
"It's only a little bit past 11 o'clock in the morning. I haven't had much of a day yet."
"Talk to anyone interesting?"
"Nope."
"Nobody? Go anywhere interesting, such as, I don't know, the old bridge?" I looked up at him with horror. Hurt glistened in his eyes.
"You… saw me… at the bridge?"
"How long have you been lying to me, Rory? How long?" I just shook my head and he grabbed my arms, tightly. "Rory… how long have you been lying to me?" I sniffed and tried to free myself from his hands.
"Please let me go," I begged. He pushed me inside, still clinging on to my arms.
"How long?" he repeated. I just looked into his eyes, begging him to let me go. Tears welled up in my eyes and fell down my cheeks silently. "Answer me, bitch," he yelled, slapping me across the face. I fell to the ground, landing hard on my hand. Pain seared through my veins, bones, and tendons of my wrist. I heard a loud crack and let out a silent gasp. He turned me to face him, clutching my upper arms tightly. His fatal mistake was leaving my legs in between his.
My foot flew up hard, and he toppled over, clutching his crotch, groaning in pain. I took many sharp intakes of breath as I slithered to the kitchen, using the table leg as leverage to get up. I looked back as Dean was regrouping, and bolted out the back down.
"Babette! Babette!" I screamed and ran over to the neighbour's house, knocking on the door manically, but nobody was answering. I gave up as soon as Dean burst through the front door of the Gilmore house. I grasped my wrist with my one good hand and sprinted away as quickly as possible, running into town.
Ahead of me, I saw a familiar contemplative figure walking slowly down the road. "Jess! Jess, turn around!" I shouted to him. He did as I said and saw me limping at high paces towards him, clutching one of my wrists up to my chest.
"Rory, what the hell is going on?"
"Don't stop. Help me, please."
"I kind of have to stop to help you," he said, taking my arm, pulling me in the direction of Luke's. We burst through the door and that damnable bell rang, announcing our presence. Luke looked at the two of us wide eyed. Tears started streaming down my face, leaving stains. My eye was throbbing from when Dean had hit me and my nose was bleeding from the contact with the floor. I winced in pain as Jess pulled me up the stairs, Luke hot on our heels.
The workers weren't there at the moment, most likely on a break. Jess lay me down in his bed. I was quaking constantly in his arms as he pushed hair out of my face. "Luke, could you get a first-aid kit?" Luke nodded just out of line of my vision and disappeared down the stairs. "Lucky noone was in there, huh?" Jess joked, wiping blood from under my nose.
"Jess…"
"What happened?"
"He… saw us," I whispered hoarsely and Jess's eyes widened.
"What?"
"On the bridge. He knew something was up the other night and… he hit me. But he looked so sorry about it, I just had to… I dunno, forgive him. And then, today," I gulped and Jess held a finger to my lips. Luke arrived with the first aid kit.
"I called Lorelai. She's on her way." Jess nodded to Luke and I squeezed his hand tightly. He smiled forlornly down at me and got up slowly.
"I have to go somewhere," he whispered to Luke and Luke looked at him, confused.
"What happened here?"
"There was an accident. And the devil's going to pay." He stole a glance back at me and I looked at him pleadingly.
"Jess… don't. Stay, please." He just shook his head and went out the door. I sat up in the bed, wincing in pain, shouting after him. Luke just looked completely confused. I got up and ran out after him, shaking off the arm Luke had put out to stop me.
I caught up with Jess just outside the diner and pulled him over to me. "Jess, don't do this."
"Rory, he can't do this. Bastard deserves what's coming to him."
"Jess, let someone else handle this, please. I need you here." He sighed heavily. "Please?" He gave me a frustrated but caring look and turned back to the diner. I followed him inside and up the stairs.
"What the hell was that about, Jess? Rory?" Luke asked, annoyed.
"Sit down," Jess ordered to me lovingly. My hand parted from his and I sat down on the bed. He pulled out an ice pack and gave it to me. "For your eye." It was extremely cold and I could feel it burning my face.
"So, what is going on?" Luke asked impatiently when the door burst open.
"Oh my god. Rory, what happened?" Lorelai rushed to my side and hugged me tightly. I gasped in pain and she let me go. "Okay, we need to get you to the hospital. Come on." She took me in her arms and pulled me out of Luke's apartment, both males looking at us with mixed expressions playing across their faces.
Lorelai piled me into her car and we drove off to the hospital. I let the tears run freely now and Lorelai pulled over, holding me in a close embrace.
Installment #2 ended.
Glamour Ghouls -written and performed by the World/Inferno Friendship Society for East Coast Super Sound Punk of Today