Author's Notes: I don't own it. Review.
A Weasley Twin Survey
It had been roughly a week since the beginning of the prank. The Weasley Twins had been, until this point, wandering the halls of Hogwarts, laughing at those affected by their singing prank. Now, however, they felt it was time to see what the students of Hogwarts thought of their ingenious plan.
"Gred?" asked Forge.
"Yes, Forge?" Gred replied
"It's time to go question the little buggers that we call Hogwarts Students."
"That it is, Forge; that it is."
"Oooo!"
"Dubbleyouw Teay Eff, mayet?"
"What?" George was extremely confused.
"Sorry, it's WTF in an Australian accent."
"Anyway," George interrupted, "we should go around with microphones and messed up clothes and annoying voices and really bother people!"
"That was the general idea, George," said Fred in an obnoxious, snobby voice. He sounded a lot like Percy…After a short pause they both burst out into a high-pitched chant of "Bother, bother, bother, bother, bother!"
"STOP!" Harry yelled from the top of the boys' staircase.
After a momentary pause, the Weasley twins got matching diabolical grins on their faces and whispered, "Ah, our first victim." That was followed by cackling. Things are not looking good for our whiny, mentally screwed up frie—um—hero? Nah, hero complex, more like.
"Why of course, Mister Potter," George grinned as Fred took an exaggerated bow.
"Um…thanks?" Harry squeaked as he attempted to retreat to the safety of his room. Fred and George had him cornered within seconds.
"Harry, Harry, Harry," Fred sighed.
"What are we going to do with you?" George chuckled…which turned into a cackle…which turned into maniacal laughter.
"I HATE YOU!" Harry exploded.
"He's mental, that one!" Hermione exclaimed from across the room.
"Dubbleyouw Teay Eff, mayet?" Fred asked. Fred didn't even think anyone else was there in the first place.
"I HATE EVERYONE!"
"Can we ask you a few simple questions, Harry?" George asked.
"NO!" Harry then sprinted towards the stairs, but instead of going down them like a sane, normal person, he decided it would be more heroic for him to make a daring escape…by jumping over the railing from the top of the stairs.
"Harry!" Hermione yelled, "You refused to take your medicine again today, didn't you!"
"Mebe."
"Harry James Pot—"
"SURE," Harry interrupted while standing next to the portrait hole, "YOU JUST HAD TO RUB IN THE FACT THAT JAMES IS DEAD! DIDN'T YOU! YOU CAN'T STAND TO SEE ME HAPPY! I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL! WHY IS EVERYONE STARING AT MEEEEEE!" Harry scrambled through the portrait hole, ungracefully. In the process of walking out the door, he tripped over his shoelaces. That may have been caused by the fact that they were tied together, but maybe he was just clumsy.
"Fred! George!" Hermione scolded.
"Oh, sod off, Herms," Ron laughed.
"You have to admit, Hermione, that was pretty funny—"
"—especially when his face turned red with anger—"
"I liked the part where his face got all contorted with confusion!" Ron informed them.
"That happens all the time, Ronald," Hermione reminded him.
"If you'll excuse us—" Fred began.
"—duty calls—" George continued.
"—we really must get on with our prank's intermission."
"But don't fret—"
"We'll be back to tor—"
"—visit you," George smoothly corrected his brother.
Fred and George Weasley have always been incapable of being serious and sane. Today was no different. They decided that to fully torture every witch and wizard in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, they would have to dress to distress. George had decided to wear long, billowing, black robes, a removable tattoo of the Dark Mark, and dye his hair black. After that, he went swimming in a large vat of pure grease. Disgusting—certainly, but The Twins had never done a prank without going the whole 9 yards, and, in order to portray Snivellus Snape, one had to be as vile and disgusting as the grease-ball extraordinaire.
Fred's outfit was much more attention grabbing—shall we say. He had chosen to impersonate a certain divination teacher. Much to his surprise, however, was that Hermione Granger, prefect, was the one to suggest the idea. Fred decided on a pair of hideous coke-bottle glasses and robes that a blind man may have picked out. After much pestering from George, who was in the grease vat at the time, he put on obnoxious make-up, and his look had been topped off by styling his hair. He didn't have any hair styling products or tools, so he went with the classic technique—sticking a fork in a toaster while standing in a bucket of water. His hair was frizzled and fried to perfection. The Twins were ready to show the school.
Fred and George were currently standing outside of the Transfiguration Classroom, waiting for class to dismiss so they would be able to talk to Harry before he disappeared. They heard the bell ring and stealthily went on either side of the doorway, so Harry wouldn't be able to escape. As Harry was coming out of the room, Fred tripped him, and George took his wand. "Alright, Harry," Fred said.
"It's time for you to give us some feedback on the prank," George continued.
"What you think—"
"Who has the best voice—"
"—Worst voice—"
"—Favorite song—"
"Favorite performance—"
"—Anything—"
"—Everything—"
"Um…okay," Harry whispered.
"Good!" Fred exclaimed. "Now, let's start with the basics."
"Yes, I do agree, brother." George took the liberty of asking the first question, while Fred waved his microphone in Harry's face. "Has your voice always been that bad?"
"Hey!"
"If you could choose to be any animal, which one would you choose?" Fred asked.
"WHO TOLD YOU I WAS AN ANIMANGUS!"
"What?"
"Huh?"
"Right-o!"
"If you had to die by someone killing you—" Harry paled.
"—how would you prefer to die?"
"A: Being beaten to death by a hollow, plastic, baseball bat."
"B: Bleeding to death from millions of paper cuts."
"C: Getting trapped in a room and being forced to listen to Hilary Duff music for hours and hours until you have a nervous breakdown and die and—"
"WE GET THE POINT, FRED!"
"Right-o!"
"D: Having Dumbledore talk you to death."
"E: Having to stare at Snape for 5 minutes straight."
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Harry screamed his head off and ran down the halls of Hogwarts, never to be seen or heard from again. Not really, he just ran so mindlessly that he whacked his head against a door that he was attempting to open, and due to his lack of coordination he opened it into his face. Brilliant.
"I SEE THE GRIM IN YOUR CUP OF TEA LEAVES!" Fred shouted after him. "You will die a painful death!"
George added, in honor of his outfit (knowing it wouldn't actually change the points), "525,600 points from Griffindor for being a moronic narcissist with a hero complex!"
"Well, George…"
"Yes, Fred?"
"We need to—"
"—find our next victim."
"But—"
"—who?"
"Let's start with the basics."
"Which house?"
"HUFFLEPUFF!" They both yelled, simultaneously.
"Year?"
"They're all whimps…"
"First year?"
"Second."
"Let's go!"
"Oo! The Ramones!" a random voice shouted from behind them.
&&&&
"Hi, Professor Snape, sir," a little blonde-haired Hufflepuff said quietly.
"Hel—I mean die little Hufflepuff!" George said pompously. "5 points from Hufflepuff for disturbing my brooding!"
"I-I'm s-s-sorry, s-sir," the girl stuttered.
"You can make up for your naïveté by answering a few questions for me." George smirked, "Keep in mind that I am being very generous."
"O-of c-course, s-sir!"
"Good. Professor Trelawney shall be assisting me with this."
"O-o-o-o—"
"STOP STUTTERING!" George barked.
"O-okay," the girl finished quickly.
"First question!" George shouted.
"Who is better looking: Fred or George?"
"Harry Potter!"
"Harry's a whiny, mentally-unstable woman!" Fred yelled.
"That wasn't even one of the options, you SPED!" George barked.
"But I don't know who Fred and George are!" the girl squeaked.
"What!" They both yelled.
"How do you not know the pranksters!"
"Do you live in a box?"
"A hole!"
"I HATE HUFFLEPUFFS!"
"Next question," Fred said, doing a great impression of the far away, drugged up behavior of Trelawney.
"Would you rather watch someone run into a brick wall repeatedly oooorrrr—"
"Spontaneously combust!" George cackled, mimicking Snape.
"EEEEEPPPPP!" The girl ran away and spontanteously combusted, which caused her to crash into the wall…repeatedly.
"So," Fred began, "which did you find more entertaining?"
"I liked the part where she crashed into the wall!" a violent looking Gryffindor, Mary, laughed in delight. The crowd of students around her all murmured agreement.
"I liked the part where she caught on fire!" a maniacal Ravenclaw, Liz, screamed as a Slytherin did impressions of the flailing and sound effects.
"SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!" George and Fred screamed simultaneously. "The show is going to be starting in a few moments. Please make your way back to your seats."
"We don't have seats," an annoying 7th year Hufflepuff sneered. Mary explained the gruesome death that awaited him for being a moron. Fred smiled as he heard bits of the description. He didn't hear much, but the main points he got out of it were: intestines, a pole and some walking. He liked the sound of it.
"My father did an article in the Quibbler about this show," a familiar, distant-sounding voice stated. Luna wandered away from the large ground of students.
"Chicago will resume in 5 minutes!"
"WEASLEYS!" A voice bellowed from down the hall: Severus Snape. Fred and George bravely ran away. "YOU'D BETTER RUN!" He bellowed. "50 POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR—EACH—AND 25 FROM HUFFLEPUFF! AND 30 TO SLYTHERIN!"