Thursday, July 1, 1976
Dear Diary,
I wonder how long I can procrastinate on this project.
Well, I'm actually not procrastinating. I was not made a prefect for nothing. I am a good student- a great one in fact. And that is why I am giving James Potter a few weeks off before I decide to get started on this project.
I'm sure he's not even thinking about it. He's probably running around his neighborhood with Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew, pulling more immature pranks. God, they all think they are so funny.
Fine, I admit it, diary. I'm scared to send an owl to James Potter and ask him to work with me.
But I am going to, right now. As soon as I am done writing this sentence, I will start a letter to him. As soon as possible, we will be writing a four-foot long essay on 'The Benefits of Horcruxes'.
Dear James.
Even though you're probably having too much fun doing something really lame like putting jelly in someone's shoes, I think I have to remind you that some of us students like to pass and would enjoy beginning to work on Transfiguration projects.
Lily Evans
Bloody hell, no! I can't send him that. I sound like a pricky bitch. I can't sound like a pricky bitch. Let's try again.
Dear James,
I would find it most stupendous if we could get together to work on our Transfiguration project. Please send me a return owl with dates when you are free to get together.
Yours,
Lily Evans
Damn, what kind of nerd am I? I can't send him that either.
James,
We have about two months left to work on that Transfiguration project. We should probably get together sometime soon. Can you owl me back and tell me when you're free? Thanks. –Lily
There, I guess that will have to do. I don't sound too pricky, I don't sound to friendly, I don't sound too uptight.
Or maybe I do.
Oh, forget this. I'm mailing this letter right now.
Saturday, July 3, 1976
Dear Diary,
I was sitting outside on the back patio this afternoon, trying to get a tan. I mean, even if I'm not going to Majorca with the girls, I should at least go back to school with a slight golden glow.
Then, the elderly women next door starts to have a heart attack. She is screaming and carrying on about something or other. At first I thought it was something about her garden; she's always out there watering her plants and singing to them.
Then I see that an overly large, black owl is swooping around her property.
And all I can think is, 'I should have known'. It's not my fault, though. I completely forgot James had such a large owl; an owl that is as prone to mischief as he is himself. So I run next door, pick up neighbor-lady's garden hoe, and start whacking James' owl until it drops my letter.
Then I give the neighbor-lady a bright smile, hope she forgets that she saw any of that, and dart back onto my lawn chair.
I rip open the envelope and spread out the letter, recognizing James' scrawl immediately.
My dearest Lily,
I would love to come over to your house to work on the project. How does next Tuesday sound?
Yours,
James
Stop right there. When did I invite James Potter to my house? I simply asked him when he would like to work on the project. I did not invite his scummy self into my home.
I can picture it now.
Petunia and Vernon on the couch in the sitting room, watching a movie. Vernon holding Petunia's hand and whispering some sort of garbage in her ear, just to hear her make that god-awful high-pitched giggle she does when she thinks she's being flirty. Mom and Dad in the kitchen, preparing dinner and going through the evening news. James barging through the front door with a bag full of tricks, transfiguring the remote control into a toad and setting the stove on fire.
And where does that leave the family now? Petunia will be washing her hands after having touched a toad and my family will starve one night due to the fact that our stove will be charred to ash.
I hate James Potter.
Sunday, July 4, 1976Dear Diary,
Remind me never again to leave my mail on the kitchen counter. Mother was making dinner last night when she came across my letter from James.
All through dinner she was carrying on about how sweet James sounds and how she would love to have him over for dinner on Tuesday. She thinks it will be a perfect opportunity for us to work on the project. And besides, she keeps on telling me, Petunia is with Vernon, when am I going to start bringing boys back to the house?
Bloody hell. She thinks James Potter and I might be romantically involved.
That would involve James holding my hand and James whispering sweet nothings in my ear, and James Potter snogging me. Oh my Lord, did I just think about James Potter kissing me! I am officially scarred for life. I cannot believe that occurred to me. I think I need to take a very long shower right now.
The worst part is, though, that now I have to tell James that he is, in fact, welcome at my house.
Dear James,
Tuesday is fine. You can come over around three o'clock if you like and stay for dinner, also. I live just outside of London, it's your second right after you get through muggle London.
By the way, James, I'm reminding you now that my family and my neighbors are muggles. If you do anything to torment or disturb them, I will hex you worse than you will ever imagine.
Looking forward to seeing you. –Lily
There. That should be good enough.