"WHEN I AM QUEEN"
Installment #4: Under the Stairs

The hospital had been terrible. My wrist was actually fractured in two places, although how you get that from falling, I don't know, really. My ankle was sprained from the running. I had a pretty bad black eye and my nose had a bruise, although I couldn't remember if I had actually broken anything in my facial area. At the moment, I didn't really care.

I just wanted to sleep and not have to move. My covers were pulled tightly over my body and the lights were out, but I couldn't stop thinking about everything. Lorelai was sitting in a chair across from my bed, trying not to sleep until I was. Strange, even when heavily drugged and both wanting and needing sleep, I couldn't get it. Everything was playing through my mind like a rabid moose on sugar pills.

That was the drugs talking.

I hear a slight tapping on the door, and Lorelai looks up. She rushes over to the door, and slips out. I hear talking and the two figures slide into my room. Lorelai rests her head against Christopher's shoulder and he strokes her hair. I am in a state of near sleep, but I'm still haunted by the images of Dean, leaning over me, seeming like he was ready to do worse than he did, and yet seeming so horrified with himself that he held back. I could only wonder what was going through his mind at the moment.

I could only wonder what was going through Jess's mind at the moment.

Eventually, I went into a deep and restless sleep, with Lorelai and Christopher watching over me until morning. When I woke up, the smell of really strong coffee filled the house and I could hear my parents talking in hushed voices in the kitchen. I could make out part of the conversation.

"So, you're saying her boyfriend did that to her?"

"Chris, calm down."

"I can't calm down! Rory doesn't deserve that. Oh, I swear to God I'm going to harm him."

"Its been taken care of. Dean's already gotten the crap beaten out of him once, I don't think he needs it again from Rory's father."

"Do we know why he did it?"

Lorelai paused, as if thinking, "She hasn't told me yet, but I have an idea."

I sighed and tried to move out of my comforter's death cling to the sides of my bed, but I seemed trapped. "Hey, can't a girl get some service around here?" It sounded like somebody jumped at my voice in the next room, and then Lorelai appeared in the doorway.

"Good morning sleepyhead. Are you feeling better at all?"

"Still groggy. My eye is throbbing though."

"Want some ice? Coffee? Anything?"

"Coffee would be good. And ice might help the throbbing."

"Coffee and ice coming up." When Lorelai disappeared into the kitchen, my father walked into my room and sat across from me.

"Rory, first off, I want to express my sorrow for you. What Dean did is unforgivable and inexcusable, and I don't want you to ever feel like you should have to have this happen to you. If you want, I can kick his ass."

"Dad, its okay. Don't kick Dean's ass, please? I'd just like to have him not be a part of my life anymore." An awkward silence. "What did Mom mean 'Its already been taken care of'?"

"I'm not sure, kiddo. You'd have to ask your mom. Actually, I'm pretty keen on what that means myself," he directed this last comment towards Lorelai who had just arrived in the doorway.

"Coffee for cast-girl and an ice pack for the eye. What are you keen on, Christopher?"

"He's wondering what you meant by 'It's already been taken care of'? How?"

Lorelai sighed, glared at Christopher, and turned to me. "Well, while we were in the hospital, Luke called. Apparently, Jess got up the urge to kill Dean, went to his house, and beat him up pretty badly. I'm very confused as to why Jess would beat up Dean. I mean, I know they don't like each other very much, and I know you and Jess are friends, and I know this is a very good excuse to beat up Dean, but I think I'm starting to understand his logic. The weird thing is, Luke was very vague about what actually happened, and apparently Jess knows why Dean went psycho on you, so spill. If Jess can know, we deserve to also."

"It's a lot more complicated than me just telling Jess and not telling you, Mom."

"Is it, now? It doesn't seem to…" Her face kind of dropped in surprise, as she understood the gist of what I was saying and she stopped and stared at me. My father just looked between the two of us, confusion written all over his face.

"Someone want to fill me in here?" he asked quickly.

"Rory… did you and Jess…" I nodded. "And Dean… saw?" I nodded again. I felt tears starting to run down my cheeks, burning. Lorelai rushed over to me and held my head in her arms, kissing my hair and rocking me. "Sh, it's okay. It's okay." We sat like that for a half hour at least. Chris had gotten up to get a box of tissues and some more coffee. After the crying had subsided, the room was filled with silence. "Rory?"

"Yeah, Mom?"

"What you did… it wasn't wrong, okay? You and Jess are attracted to each other, its kind of hard to avoid that particular outcome. And I know you're hormonal and you probably weren't thinking, and maybe you didn't even realize that you had feelings for him, but you should've thought about what would happen if anyone found out." This prompted more tears. Lorelai continued stroking my hair and Chris came over and hugged me carefully, but it was a bearhug.

"It'll all get better in a few days, okay honey? It'll get better soon, I promise," my mother whispered lovingly to me. My parents were just letting me cry until the drugs caught up to me again and I fell asleep in my mother's arms.

When I woke up again, it was night. Someone was in the kitchen, but again, I felt like I couldn't move. "Hello?" I called out. Chris appeared in the door.

"Hey, kiddo. Your mom's just out getting some food. You slept like a baby." He walked over and sat on the side of the bed. His hand reached up and smoothed my hair. "You're getting so old." He kissed my forehead and I smiled slightly. "How are you feeling?'

"I'm not so sure right at the moment."

"Well you haven't eaten all day, except for maybe a half cup of coffee this morning, and Lord knows, when a Gilmore doesn't eat in more than three hours, she's going to be a very impatient Gilmore girl."

"Indeed."

"Oh, some boy stopped by earlier to see how you were. I didn't let him in because I was being the protective father while your mom had to go to work, but he seemed really concerned."

"Dean?'

"No. If it had been Dean I would've kicked his ass all the way to China. No, this kid was shorter, moodier, monosyllabic."

"Jess."

"Ah, so this is the Jess I've been hearing about but haven't had any explanation about. He seems to mean well."

"He's probably just worried about me, that's all. What did you tell him?"

"That you were asleep and not in a state to have any visitors, so it would be best if he came back some other time."

"Thanks, Dad. I'm not sure if I can deal with Jess right now."

"Yeah, I understand. Well, not really considering I have no idea what you're going through or what significance Jess has to this scenario, but I'll just try to be empathetic."

Then, Lorelai must have burst through the door with food because she called out, "Hey, Chris, give me a hand here?" Chris patted my knee lovingly and then went off to help Lorelai.

"God, there's enough here to feed Iraq."

"Not quite that much. Maybe Indonesia. Unless there are more people in Indonesia, I don't really know." There was rustling in the next room as they placed food across the kitchen. "Rory, honey, can you move or do I need to service you?"

"I can move, but these comforters are like airtight packing."

"I'm on it," said Chris, and he moved in to help me out of bed. Lorelai smiled at me as he helped me into the kitchen.

"Oh, food! How I missed you!" I exclaimed.

"Dig in," Lorelai commanded as we three sat around the table, ready for some major Luke's binging.

"God, this is so much better than I remember. Did Luke start putting heaven in his burgers, because it definitely tastes like it." Lorelai and Chris laughed and continued eating.

For once, we felt like a family, despite the damage going on with everyone. No matter what the two argued about while I was passed out cold, I was the focus and it was nice. Although, I may have overeaten.

However, I could not stop thinking about Jess. I had to see him soon or I'd burst.

Installment four finished.

"Under the Stairs" - written and preformed by The Birthday Massacre for Nothing and Nowhere