Okay, this was written very badly and quickly, I know, but bear with me on this, please. I don't know if I'm going to continue with it, I kind of like how it ends right now. Tell me if I should go on with it.
I knew I was dying, and I knew I would die very soon. I gazed across by wasted life, remembering how happy and ignorant I was before I had Erik. They were glorious, care-free days in which I could sit in the sun in public and be smiled at by passersby. But then it all changed when I had Erik. I'd prefer not to recollect about the rest of my life. I can't turn back the clocks, so why bother dwelling on the subject? Certainly Hell wouldn't be any worse. I was sure that's where I was heading. After all I'd done to Erik, and since I stopped going to Mass, I knew He wouldn't let me into his kingdom.
I felt Marie's hand on mine, and I heard a faint sniff. Through blurry vision, I saw her plain figure, and I knew it was time to let go. "Tell Erik…" I began, struggling to have enough breath support to speak. "Tell him…" but I couldn't finish. Tell him that I'll be waiting for him in Hell.
A cry of "Madeleine!" echoed across the vast darkness that had enveloped me. The persistent voices and little nudges were back, calling me to come with them and rest forever. I finally gave in, falling through the void that had closed in.
It was black. Pitch black. Strange, I thought. I had expected Hell to be full of fires and monstrous beings. But I suppose isolation and the depravation of all of one's senses can be considered a sort of Hell, also.
How long I waited in that terrible void, I know not. Eventually, I started seeing things. Not gruesome visions of gore and war, but white spots. There was a white spot in my vision. I tried to blink it away, but I didn't have eyelids, I had left my body on Earth. The white spot grew persistent, and gradually got bigger. I soon realized it wasn't my eyes playing tricks on me; there was something up ahead. I willed myself to move forward and discover what it was.
It grew, and soon, I reached it. A portal of sorts. I stepped through the light portal and instantly, a great euphoria swept over me. Relief and graciousness washed my soul, and charity cleansed it. I saw others, some with wings, some without, but all dressed in crisp, white robes. It was Heaven.
I was in Heaven. I had made it. I felt like singing for joy, jumping up into the pure air. And I did; I had a body again! It wasn't mine as I left it, though. It was a healthy, well-nourished body without any signs of aging. It was my body in my prime.
All I wanted to do was rest. Meet a few angels, make some friends, and relax. Enjoy myself for the first time in decades. But I couldn't. I felt a calling. A smooth, sweet echo was calling me. I followed. I knew it was God. That awesome, baritone voice that could boom across the cloud fields, or lull a child to sleep. He was there, on his cloud throne. I couldn't see him, the sun the shining directly in my eyes. I think he meant it to be that way. "Madeleine, you are not here permanently, not yet, no." He said in a tongue rich with rolled R's and soft vowels. I understood, even though it wasn't French. I didn't respond, for I knew he could read the confusion in my soul. He continued, "You have committed many wrongs against your only son. Others have shown him worse treatment, but you were his mother. I shall give you one last chance to redeem yourself. You must repent your ways and show Erik what it means to be loved."
I was so confused. Show him what it meant to be loved? "But… How is that possible?" I stammered, as he faded from view.
"Give him the love you refused him in your last life. Give him someone to trust." The words echoed across the clouds.
I was sinking fast, the fleeting image of Heaven blurred and distorted. I lost all conscious thought, as everything faded to black once more.
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The first conscious thought I had after that was a word. Luciekorra! (Loo-see-KOR-uh) But why was I thinking such an absurd word? Then I realized: that was my name. Luciekorra. I am Luciekorra. Then I realized it was warm. And cramped. I wriggled around, pushing against wet lumps. I heard a lot of sound. I couldn't quite make anything distinct out; it was muffled. And a smell; a soft, comforting smell. Mother's scent. It was distinct. I could remember it. I smelt myself and my siblings also, but Mother's scent was distinguishable within our own smells as well.
Then came a tight squeeze and a rush of an unpleasant sensation called cold. I was shocked. Where did the warm coziness go? What was that squeeze? I felt funny, faint. I was aware, a few minutes later, of something rough pushing me around and warming me up. It was Mother's tongue. I opened my mouth in a soundless wail as I tentatively reached a paw out towards it, and moved my hind legs. I was rolled onto my belly and introduced to a large, furry object, that, when suckled, produced a sweet, satisfying liquid. I drank ravenously. I got the breathing thing down, and swallowing came next. I gulped the milk as if there was no tomorrow. All I knew, there wasn't. I fell asleep contentedly after my belly was full.
When I woke, I mewed pitifully and Mother wrapped her paw around me and pulled me to her warm belly. I drank more milk and slept. For a long time, this was the process. Then, one day, I opened my eyes, and could see. I saw Mother's belly and my siblings. They looked as awkward as I felt. Everyday, I would practice crawling, climbing on Mother's tail and biting it playfully. I played with my siblings, and Mother taught her kindle the necessities of being a cat. It was a soft and comforting time. I grew used to my world in that box, and was quite content.
Then one day, my world started moving. I mewed helplessly, frightened by the movement, and unable to stand up. Then it stopped with a particularly hard bump, and the box was tipped on its side. A strange-smelling, hairless creature that was quite big yelled at us and chased us away. I skittered as fast as I could away, bombarded by all the strange sights and smells of this bigger place. It was damp and cold. I found a small crevice to hide in, shivering. I waited there for a long time, though I don't know what I was waiting for. I thought about that hairless creature, and remembered its name: Man. Man was mean. I used to be one. But I was Luciekorra now. I watched as more Mans walked by me, not noticing me. It began to get dark, and I was frightened, cold, and hungry. Then a Man walked by me, paused, and stooped to get a better look at me. The Man was dressed in all black, with an odd, fanlike tail issuing from the back of his neck. The Man had no whiskers, and had odd fur on his face, which hardly looked like fur at all; it was solid, and white. I saw two eyes from this odd fur, such expressive eyes, full of pity and sorrow. I mewed at him. The man was Erik.
I remembered everything; it came on in a blast. My past life, my visit to Heaven, my duty in this life; it flashed in my mind's eye. Erik picked me up and tucked me into his fur. I later learned that it was called a clothes, not fur. The remembrance coupled with Erik scooping me up was unbearable, and I fell into a dreamless sleep.
When I came to, I saw Erik. He had taken off his facial fur and his tail, which are called Mask and Cape. I remembered Erik's face from my life as Madeleine, but it wasn't frightening anymore. I found I didn't care what he looked like. He had quite possibly just saved my life. He held me in the crook of his arm and patted my head gently. "Ayesha, my beautiful cat. You must be hungry. Erik has found you some food, here you are." I later figured out that while my name was Luciekorra, everyone referred to me as Ayesha. I accepted it very early. He set me down near a platter of food-smelling substance. It was Meat, as I learned later. I like Meat, but Erik didn't watch me eat. When I finished, I explored my surroundings until he returned. I was in House. There were many strange objects in it I cannot begin to describe. When Erik returned, I walked over to greet him. He knelt down and held his hand out to me. I sniffed his pale fingers, and nuzzled them. He took the invitation to scratch behind my ear. I was going to give him a companion. I would show him how to be loved. I purred as he stroked my back.
Okay, I'll explain the whole thing with Luciekorra as her name. I was trying to make an allusion to the musical Cats and the poem by T. S. Elliot about how cats have three different names. Ayesha was one, Luciekorra was another, but she wouldn't admit the third, even for my kind readers. I wanted to do this because since she was going back to Earth as a cat, she must have been a Jellicle Cat. So if that makes any sense to you, thanks for reading. And if you didn't understand this extremely long author's not, thanks for taking the time out of your life and allowing me to confuse you. Lol, just kidding. Review, please!