Author's Notes: I don't own it.

"Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy," Dumbledore called out during dinner, "Please report to my office; I would like to discuss next year's Head Duties with you." They both finished eating and got up from their tables. They were walking down the long corridor in an eerie silence that they both felt wouldn't last for much longer, for an unknown reason…well, Hermione had a clue Fred the SPED and George the Pranking Mastermind had something to do with it…

Draco:
...Gone, it's all gone.

"What's gone?" Hermione snapped. "Are you on drugs!"

Draco:
It's good, isn't it?
Grand, isn't it?
Great, isn't it?
Swell, isn't it?
Fun, isn't it?
Nowadays

"Oh, Merlin," Hermione whimpered. "I'm going to start singing. Bloody He—"

Hermione:
There's elves, everywhere
Pranks, everywhere
Brooms, everywhere
Sweets, everywhere
Magic, everywhere
Nowadays

Draco:
You can like the life you're livin'
You can live the life you like

Hermione: You can even marry Harry
But mess around with Ron

Both: And that's
Good, isn't it?
Grand, isn't it?
Great, isn't it?
Swell, isn't it?
Fun, isn't it...

Dumbledore (spoken):
Ladies and gentlemen, Hogwarts School,
England's finest, finest home of wizard entertainment,
is proud to announce a first. The first time, anywhere,
there has been an act of this nature. Not only one
little lady, but two! Oh, wait! Just one little lady. And one guy that's like a little lady! You've read about them in the papers
and now here they are- a double act! Chicago's own
killer dillers- those two scintillating sinners-
Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy!

Both: You can like the life you're livin'
You can live the life you like
You can even marry Harry
But mess around with Ron
And that's
Good, isn't it?
Grand, isn't it?
Great, isn't it?
Swell, isn't it?
Fun, isn't it?
But nothing stays

In fifty years or so
It's gonna change, you know
But, oh, it's heaven
Nowadays

They were rounding the corner when they spotted Fred and George spying from a closet and Filch, who was mopping up the floor—actually, he was dancing with the mop and singing…

Filch:
Okay, you mischievous rats. Let's pick up the pace.
Let's shake the pranks away. Let's make torture legal.
Let's make the punishments longer and longer. Let's make
the rules even more strict. Let's go to hell on a Firebolt and
KEEP IT HOT!

"That was a random ending," George stated, frightened. Horrified, to be exact.

"Who'd have thought Filch would say something like that?" Fred said.

"I guess we have driven him insane…" George concluded.

"This calls for a celebration!" Fred shouted.