A/N: I want to thank my reviewers! You make me feel all tingly inside :)

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5-Alone in this Already Lonely World

"I'm back!" Drake shouted throughout the dark apartment. He expected a loud rumbling then to be swiftly pounced on by a blurry figure. But there was no sound whatsoever. He sighed heavily, knowing JJ was more than likely very upset with him. It wasn't his fault his flight back in was delayed. Drake figured his friend was probably out somewhere doing God knows what.

He readjusted the strap over his shoulder, the bag it clung to pulling it down digging deep into his skin. The detective made his way around in the darkness, occasionally bumping into a wall or a piece of furniture. When he reached his room, he swiftly swung his luggage on the floor and flopped into bed.

Drake felt awful, scared, happy, and stressed all at the same time. He felt really bad he had missed JJ's birthday when he promised he'd be here. But he was happy to be home; Cyndi's family had drove him up the wall with all their openness. He wanted to tell his best bud about his vacation torture, but JJ obviously didn't want to see him. Drake, most of all, felt completely frightened about the future, especially the changes when he went to Arkansas. His gut told him JJ would turn furious madman when he found out what had happened.

Drake slid off the comfy bed reluctantly and treaded out of his room. He walked sleepily all the way down to the end of the hallway. He stared at the closed door wondering if JJ was actually home; it was late after all. Taking a deep breath, he twisted the doorknob and pushed the door open silently. There was a soft glowing light from the digital clock that revealed a shivering lump on the king-sized bed. Drake had almost wished that JJ wasn't home and was rather having fun at some bar.

He tiptoed over, stopping when the sight before him suddenly unfolded into a picture of chaos. JJ was surrounded by tissues, pills were poured out on the bedside table, and empty bottles of what used to contain strong liquors. The normal tanned face was deathly pale, hair was ragged and disheveled, dry and cracked lips were quivering, and the entire body shuddering underneath the plush comforter. JJ looked like he was in an awkward position; one arm and leg dangling over the side, the other arm draped across this forehead in a dramatic pose. Drake had never seen him like this.

Drake trembled from the sight; his heart wrenching painfully. He managed to drag himself over to his partner and tugged at JJ's limbs to place him in a better position. He shoved the leg back under the covers and removed the arm on his head and stuck that under the sheets as well. Drake then grabbed a hold of the other arm dangling off the bed. He held the bony wrist lightly, his amber eyes catching sight of a wadded up piece of paper enclosed between refined fingers. Trying to pry the paper from the strong grip proved to be harder as JJ clenched his fist tighter. Drake glanced back into the sleeping face and was shocked to find two piercing blue eyes staring back at him.

Drake had no idea what to say, but knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to ask what had happened, but was afraid of the answer. He wanted to know if JJ had fallen ill. He also wanted to apologize for breaking his promise. He wanted to see JJ's striking, heart-warming smile because he was happy Drake was home.

In the dull light, Drake saw that JJ's face was glistening with wetness. Tears pooled in the blue eyes, but never fell. Drake squeezed his friend's wrist firmly. They stared at each other, both waiting for the other to speak. Drake was aware his mouth kept opening and closing like a fish, but he couldn't will it to stop.

"I hate you."

Drake's eyes widened when he heard the scratchy voice say one of the most dreaded phrases. He searched JJ's eyes for some sort of sign that he wasn't serious, but only cold, unforgiving eyes glared back. Drake dropped JJ's wrist and took a step backward, almost tripping over an empty container.

"JJ, I--"

"Don't care," JJ snapped.

"But--"

"Go away."

"Listen to me!"

"No." JJ turned over on his other side, giving Drake the cold shoulder. Drake crawled onto the bed desperately, and place a hand on a bony shoulder. It quivered under his touch.

"Please, let me explain," Drake whispered into JJ's ear. He received no argument so he continued softly, "I couldn't help it. The flight was delayed because of engine trouble. Wouldn't you rather have me alive and late, than dead and never have made it at all?" He laid completely down beside the younger man, burrowing his head in JJ's back and then wrapping his arms around the slender body. "I was going to call, but everything was so hectic. Please, forgive me."

JJ felt as if he were on fire. He had missed Drake terribly and was glad he was back; he even more thrilled at the current position. But a sharp knife had driven deep in his heart when he had woken up to an empty apartment once again. His best friend--no, his love was slipping away slowly. JJ feared the day Drake would finally let go, leaving him all alone in this already lonely world. He choked back the tears, not wanting to appear vulnerable or weak. He wanted to stop time and never have to move again. It felt just like that day summers ago, like he belonged right beside Drake.

JJ heard labored breathing, indicating that Drake had fallen asleep. JJ smiled at the fantasy playing out, but it disappeared when he realized that it was just a fantasy. In the morning, Drake will brush the night off forever like dust on a suit. But JJ didn't want to be brushed off, he wanted to always have a part in Drake's life--to be a stain on that damned suit that, no matter how hard you try, you can't get rid of it.

JJ opened his clenched fist and unfolded the paper that fell out. It was the picture he had laid eyes on Thanksgiving day. He remembered everything of that exact moment. He remembered Drake pulling out his digital camera form the black backpack. Remembered Drake swinging his arm around him pulling him in tightly. They both put on cheesy smiles as he held up the camera and took the picture. Then they both were reviewing the photo taken, both laughing at their tacky expressions. Then they took vows of never-ending friendship. JJ would make sure that Drake would keep that one promise, even if he broke all his others.

When JJ awoke, he was quite aware of the heat pressed up against his back. Last night flooded his mind and he couldn't help but genuinely smile. It may have been, overall, a dreadful birthday, but the birth night had been wonderful. JJ squirmed out of Drake's embrace and headed for the bathroom. He had a good feeling about today.

They had had a great breakfast, Drake's cooking being top-notch. Drake had then told JJ all about what had happened, and although JJ didn't particularly care for some details, he was happy to hear that Drake would have rather have stayed home.

Come lunchtime, they had shared a few good laughs over the disasters Drake had over his trip. JJ's personal favorite was the part where Cyndi's father, Bobby Joe, had spent the night in bed with him, in fear his supposed thirty-three year old virgin daughter wouldn't be able to resist her boyfriend's sex attempts.

"It was the most embarrassing night in my entire life," Drake said. "I never got an ounce of sleep. He kept asking me questions all night. Very personal questions."

"Like what?" JJ asked completely fascinated.

Drake lowered his voice and added a southern accent. "How many times have you had sex? Have you ever watched a pornographic movie? Do you masturbate often? Ever paid for sex? Do you cheat on you girlfriends? When are you going to get married?" JJ laughed heartily throughout, until the last question. He stopped laughing abruptly and stared at Drake whom was smiling sheepishly.

"Married?" JJ questioned with a nervous giggle. "Isn't it too soon?" He watched as the auburn-haired man next to him quickly averted his eyes. "Drake?"

"A osed er at harrie ze," Drake mumbled into his palm.

"Come again?" Panic started to rise inside JJ.

Slowly, Drake removed his hand and looked straight into sapphire eyes. He repeated more clearly, "I asked her to marry me."

Before his eyes, JJ saw the love of his life up on the altar, pledging undying love till death to her. JJ's life had come to another road block, and he had no idea how to get around it. He began laughing; he couldn't help it. Drake looked at him crazily.

"OH! You're…you're getting married!" JJ patted Drake on the back awkwardly. "That's…that's…wow." JJ stood up from his seat and exited the living room quickly. He ran up the stairs and into his room, shutting the door firmly. He realized his whole body was shaking. JJ slid down the door and fell into a heap on the floor.

"How could you?"