Hisoka looked apathetically out of the bay window in the small hotel room he was sharing with Tsuzuki. He had managed to go from sitting up straight to completely slumped over, so that he was almost lying on his back in the wooden chair. There's an open book in his hand, although he hasn't been reading it. He stopped when he realized he'd read an entire chapter without remembering any of it.
Now he was watching the moon set. Just minutes ago, or so it seemed like, he had been mesmerized by the black branches of the trees against the pale purple sky as the last few rays of the sun vanished from view. Now the night was lit up by street lights, making the clouds a pale peach until they crossed the crescent moon's path, when they became a soft and transparent blue. Stars twinkled behind them, but only the brightest since they were in the city.
The night was beginning to make Hisoka tired. No, he was already tired. It was making him relaxed enough so that maybe tonight he would finally be able to sleep. His body had long ago become numb, but he was quite content to just sit. He let his body fade from his consciousness until it was only him, staring without any thought at the sky.
Hisoka didn't like sleeping, and he vaguely wondered if it was possible for him to leave his body so it could rest, but he didn't have to. Were they able to do that? Technically they weren't spirits, but they weren't really attached to the physical forms, either. Minutes later, Hisoka didn't remember thinking about this at all; he was unable to hold any conscious thought without effort he didn't want to give.
There was rustling to Hisoka's right, and Hisoka's eyes left the moon for the first time in hours. He turned his eyes to Tsuzuki sleeping restlessly, but was too tired for any more movement then that. Perhaps this was where the sense of insomnia was coming from. No, no it couldn't be. He hadn't slept in five days, and this was the first night on assignment.
But then again, Tsuzuki was always restless when he slept, and they had spent the last few nights sleeping at the office, or in his case, reading and working. Hisoka didn't remember a single night when Tsuzuki had slept through all of it, and even then, without turning over at least ten times.
Tsuzuki finally settled on his left, facing Hisoka, although he was still asleep. To make sure of this, Hisoka didn't move or draw attention to himself in any form until Tsuzuki started snoring lightly again. He exhaled and looked back at the moon which had turned slightly orange and gotten bigger as it approached the horizon.
Hisoka's eyes began to close as he chanted at himself not to be happy or excited about finally being able to sleep – that would keep him up for at least another hour.
He would have fallen completely asleep if it hadn't been cold. Hisoka noticed this and identified it as the reason why his body was numb as soon as his eyes closed. His body wouldn't let him sleep like this. It was dangerous to fall asleep when you're cold, and the human body doesn't allow it. Hisoka debated with himself which would be worse: restless sleep or good sleep in a few hours, perhaps after dawn.
He just didn't have the conviction to move; he'd take being cold.
"Hisoka?"
Hisoka jumped and then gave off a groan. He'd been so close! So close!
"If you're going to fall asleep come over here. You'll catch cold."
A father's cryptic worry, making excuses for caring.
Hisoka opened his eyes. Tsuzuki was staring at him, and after a second he moved towards the edge of the bed near the wall to make room, and lifted the edge of the comforter to allow Hisoka to slide in next to him.
"No, that's alright. I'm going to be up for awhile longer, I think." Hisoka sat up and crossed his legs. He didn't want to look tired, although he knew his face was pale and may even look waxy.
"You haven't been sleeping well, have you?" Tsuzuki asked.
A sister's gentle prying.
Hisoka shrugged nonchalantly, although he was far from it. "I'm used to it."
"Yeah, but you always collapse after a week or so without any."
"I do not collapse," he said sternly, sitting up straight.
"Yes, yes you do." Tsuzuki sat up and leaned against the huge pillow. "Common now, you're letting the heat out."
It did look inviting...
"I'm not the one holding the blanket up," Hisoka said.
"Aww, Hisoka. If you don't sleep soon you're going to ruin your complexion. Again. Saya and Yuma won't be pleased. Again. And you remember what happened last time."
Oh, Hisoka remembered it too well. They'd insisted on him using a whole slew of beauty products, and when he refused, they'd physically forced it on him. Tsuzuki hadn't been any help; he'd sat near by, sipping coffee, looking amused.
"Now, you can have your choice: me fussing over you, or them."
An older brother's teasing.
Hisoka stared. "That's low," he said, giving Tsuzuki a look of disdain.
Tsuzuki raised his eyebrows and titled his head. The gesture clearly said, "Too bad, so sad."
Hisoka sighed and set his book down, getting up reluctantly. His back cracked as he did so, and now that he was standing he supposed the position had been rather awkward and not one he would've liked to have slept in.
He kicked off his shoes and sat down next to Tsuzuki. "Happy now?"
Tsuzuki smiled. "Yep." He threw the corner of the blanket over Hisoka who was surprised at how soft it was. Usually the blankets in the hotel rooms they stayed in were cheap things that felt like burlap sacs rather then blankets.
He laid down on his side and almost immediately he found Tsuzuki's arm around his chest.
It was warm and cozy, sleeping like this. Normally Hisoka hated heat of any kind, whether it was physical or emotional. There were heated emotions that he just couldn't tolerate. Two he absolutely hated were lust and anger. If anyone was feeling those he had to get away before they overwhelmed him. They were dangerous; it was too easy to get sucked in and start feeling them himself.
But this heat was different, he decided. It was heart-warming, leaving his mind and body untouched, something rare when it came to the emotions he absorbed.
Hisoka turned onto his back, preferring that to his side. Tsuzuki made an irritated sound, but eventually settled on putting his head on Hisoka's chest, his arm still around him protectively. Tsuzuki had already made it quite clear to Hisoka that it was reassuring for him. He knew Hisoka could hold his own, but he felt better standing between him and the world, and so Hisoka allowed it.
"You know I don't like sleeping on my side," Hisoka said when Tsuzuki started fidgeting. He caught the stray thought '…easier to sleep if he were on his side….'
"You don't like sleeping at all," Tsuzuki said, words slightly mumbled as he found a comfortable position.
"True," Hisoka said. Had he been less tired he would've run his fingers through Tsuzuki's brown hair. It was tempting. He'd always liked the way Tsuzuki's hair smelled after it was washed.
"Hisoka?"
"What?"
Tsuzuki paused before asking softly, "do I belong here?" as though he was afraid someone else would hear it.
A younger brother coming to hide from his fears.
"Of course. You belong right here with me. You're human, and you should never think differently." The response had become automatic, but Hisoka still meant it, and it still calmed Tsuzuki.
Hisoka realized that the arm around his chest wasn't a gesture of protection anymore when he felt a strong desire to be shielded. Hisoka knew what it was. It was Tsuzuki hoping Hisoka would protect him and help him with his pain, hoping Hisoka would keep him safe from the world he wanted to be a member of so badly. But the feeling was fleetingly, and soon it was just a normal gesture.
Tsuzuki shifted his grip. "Love you."
Hisoka closed his eyes contently. "I know." He ran his fingers through Tsuzuki's hair. "You don't have to say it."
"I know. But I like to." Tsuzuki yawned sleepily. "I don't get to say if often enough."
A mother's care.
Hisoka was awake for several more hours, but it was by choice rather then insomnia. It was too warm for him to sleep. Tsuzuki was right; he didn't feel like this often enough, and Hisoka wasn't going to let the moment pass without drinking in the warm feeling.