Enter the Writer!
Osaka's eyes opened, revealing the strange world around her. She was within a spherical room, about the size of a football stadium. Several dawn-tinted kangaroos jumped gleefully here and there.
"Excuse me Mr. Kangaroo," Osaka asked the nearest kangaroo, "Where do you think I might be able to find Mizu Miyamoto?" The kangaroo scratched its pink head, and then hopped away. "That was of no use," sighed Osaka. All of a sudden, the fuschia marsupial began to jump and down crazily. Osaka walked over to it, and then a door appeared. She raised an eyebrow, opened the door, and walked in.
Back in the physical world, Ritsu glanced anxiously at his wristwatch. The assault boats with the mustachioed, machine gun carrying Oompa Loompas were getting closer by the minute.
"When do you think Osaka will get things straightened out?" Asuka questioned Major Kusanagi.
"It depends on several factors. I'm expecting it will take around thirty- to forty-five minutes," Motoko retorted.
"And how much time do we have till the Oompa Loompas arrive?"
"About forty-six minutes. And even if Osaka does manage to contact the writer, we will need heavy backup to kill off the invading Oompa Loompas." Ritsu and Asuka sighed.
"Is there any good news you can give us?" interrogated Asuka.
"For such an egregious situation, no." Asuka made a mad face.
"Hurry up Osaka…."
Now, Osaka was in a room even stranger than the next. She was in an office building full of rotting bovine carcasses. The schoolgirl pinched her nose, hoping to relieve herself from the malodorous stench. It did her no good. Then, without warning, the rotting cow corpses began to rise off the ground.
"AAGHH!COW ZOMBIES!" screamed Osaka in absolute terror. The cow's rotting eyes glowed red, and oozed with a thick, syrupy mucus the color of cheetos. The ooze dripped onto the floor, and from the slime garden gnomes were born. Osaka screamed some more. Then, the zombie cows, and the garden gnomes fell to the ground, dead.
"Did you want to see Mrs. Patterson?" questioned a handsome young man clad in army fatigues. It was none other than the famous Jimmy Patterson, the star of the Medal of Honor: Frontline video game!
"Yes! Where is she!" Osaka asked.
"Follow me," said Lieutenant First Class Jimmy Patterson. Osaka followed him obediently into an elevator. The soldier pressed a few buttons, the doors closed, and the elevator sped up to the thirteen and a half floor. There, the door slid open. Now, Osaka and Jimmy were in a normal room. It was like room that the CEO of a an office would have: it had a oaken desk at the end of the room, a ninety-nine inch plasma TV on the wall, a Pocky machine, several bookshelves of books (mostly manga), and the CEO, Mizu Miyamoto of course. She was wearing a black pinstripe suit.
"What is it Jimmy?" Mizu questioned.
"This anime character, Osaka, came here for you," he replied.
"Oh, did she? You know I have this place limits off to everyone except you and me, right Jimmy? Oh well. What's your problem Osaka?"
"Well, you see, the fan-fiction I'm in is in danger of being taken over by Oompa Loompas," explained Osaka.
"How very serious," mused Mizu, holding a stick of chocolate Pocky between her fingers, "Jimmy, I think we have ourselves a mission." Mizu snapped her fingers, and the bookshelves slid down into the floor below, revealing shelves of various guns. There were machine guns, sub-machine guns, pistols, shot guns, muskets, blunderbusses, rifles, sniper rifles, bazookas, slingshots, and potato mashers.
"Go ahead and take your pick," Mizu said to Osaka.The schoolgirl picked up a magnum complete with a golden barrel and handle. Mizu picked up her personal favorite, the Gewher sniper rifle. She picked up a Browning automatic rifle for Jimmy.
"Oh, and Jimmy," Mizu cooed, walking over to the soldier, "Stay alive, and I'll treat you to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory."
Asuka tapped her foot impatiently. "They should be back in nineteen minutes," remarked, Ritsu, looking at his watch. There was a flash of brilliant light, and three more people were standing on the beach.
"Osaka! You're back! And you're with Mizu!" exclaimed Asuka, "And who's this handsome soldier?"
"Back off redhead, he's mine," snapped Mizu. Asuka hunched over. "Man, why are the cute guys always unavailable…" she muttered to herself.
"Well, anyway," said Major Motoko, "Here's weapons for you guys." She distributed two machine guns plus ammo to Ritsuko and Asuka. GIR received a Colt .45 pistol.
"Oh my, God, the Oompa Loompas!" gasped Ritsu, they're almost here!" The Ooompa Loompas were now four minutes from reaching the shore. Motoko whispered some stuff into a walkie-talkie. Then, several spider-like tanks crawled out from the forest. These were the Tachikoma, the special weapons of Section Nine.
"Everyone! Battle positions!" shouted Mizu. Ritsu and Osaka scrambled behind a rock. GIR hid under a leaf. Motoko sat on the top one of the Tachikoma, and Mizu and Jimmy hid behind a pile of sandbags, which appeared with the snap of Mizu's fingers. Then, the first shots rang out. The Oompa Loompas began to disembark, firing their guns as soon as they got out of the assault boats. The Tachikoma returned fire at the Oompa Loompas, knocking out dozens of the maniacal midgets. Osaka hopped out from behind the rock, and shot an Oompa Loompa right between the eyes. Ritsu nailed several in the stomach, and some in the head. GIR even managed to kill an Oompa Loompa! But then, the Oompa Loompas revealed their secret weapon; The Loompa Panzer! It rolled off one of the assault ships, into the shallow water. It fired a single shell at a nearby Tachikoma, blowing it to pieces. Another Loompa Panzer rolled off an assault boat. Another Tachikoma was reduced to smithereens.
"Leave this to me," said Jimmy. He pulled out a beer bottle full of a brown liquid, pulled the cap off, stuck a rag in the neck of the bottle, and then lit one end on fire. Next, he dashed out to the nearest Loompa Panzer, firing his machine gun as he ran.
"Good God Jimmy, not a Molotov cocktail…" There was an explosion, and one of the Loompa Panzers blew up. Jimmy ran back to the pile of sandbags where Mizu was. "Just throw a grenade next time…you got me worried that you would blow yourself up…" sighed the author of this story.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the battlefield, Osaka, Asuka, GIR, and Ritsu were running low on ammunition. "SheiBe! Out of bullets!" cursed Asuka, throwing her gun to the ground. A nearby Tachikoma was blown to oblivion.
"I don't think we can hold on much longer…" lamented Ritsu.
"No! We must continue! We must continue to please the fans!" retorted Osaka.
"I don't care about the fans anymore," said Ritsu.
"But what about that one who always says that you're hers! You can't let her down!"
"I guess I can't," said Ritsu, a bullet barely missing his beautiful face.
"NO! GIR!" shouted Asuka, watching GIR being dragged off by an Oompa Loompa. She was about to run out to go save him, but someone held her back.
"Mizu! I have to save GIR!" snarled Asuka.
"No. I won't let two people be booted off the island in one chapter."
"So this is all about you, isn't it? All you care about is getting more fan reviews! Well, I have a fellow anime character in need and I'm not just going to let him, or her, whatever GIR is, be captured and held prisoner by Oompa Loompas! Now let me go!" snapped Asuka, thrashing wildly to get out of Mizu's grip. Finally, Mizu gave up, and Asuka ran out to get liberate GIR, her only weapon being her empty machine gun. A tank shell exploded not too far away from her, nonetheless, she cotinued to run, butting Oompa Loompas aside with her gun. Then, a bullet ripped into her leg, sending her falling face first into the water.
"This is a man's job," said Jimmy, speaking up.
"No! Not you Jimmy!" Jimmy ignored Mizu, and charged out into the battelfield. Asuka rose out of the water, dripping wet, but the pain from her wound was too much for her to handle. She slumped into the shallow water, gritting her teeth in pain. Soon enough Jimmy came to her aid, and picked the red headed warrior up. Then he too, was injured by a bullet, but instead the small projectile had ripped through his abdomen. He shrugged off the pain, and ran back towards the shore where Mizu and the others were.
"JIMMY!" cried Mizu, sobbing. A bullet sunk itself into Jimmy's torso, and then another sped through his left arm. He dumped Asuka, who had passed out, to the ground near Ritsuko's feet, and then he collapsed to the sand. Mizu ripped off a long strand of material from the bottom of her pinstripe pants, and tied it around Jimmy's wounded arm. He turned his head to the side, and coughed up a large amount of blood.
"Oh good God, Motoko!" shouted Mizu at the top of her lungs, " I need medical assistance!" There was no reply from Motoko, who was nowhere to be seen.
"Mizu…" coughed Jimmy, hacking up more blood, "I…love you." And then, without warning, both Mizu and Jimmy disappeared in a flash of blinding white light.
"Where did they go?" gasped Osaka.
"MUAHAHHHAAAAA!" boomed a sinister, demonic voice.
"Who is that? What did you do with Jimmy and Mizu?" interrogated Ritsu.
"They are with me now!" blasted the voice, "As for I, I am WILLY WONKA!"
"No! Not the creepy guy from that one movie!" cried Ritsu, burying his head in his arms. Asuka woke up. "What's going on here guys?"
To answer her question, Willy Wonka stepped out from behind a rock, equipped with rocket launchers, and Oompa Loompa bodyguards.
"Oh meine Gott!" gasped Asuka, subsequently fainting. The Oompa Loompas pointed their machine guns at Asuka, Osaka, and Ritsuko.
"Don't kill them. Instead, let's take them to our Chocolate Factory!" ordered Willy Wonka. The Oompa Loompas restrained the anime characters with chains and ropes of various sizes. They put Asuka in a cage, since she was knocked out. Next, they loaded them up onto Willy Wonka's Viking ship.
"How humiliating…taken prisoner by Oompa Loompas…" sighed Ritsu, "If only Jimmy and Mizu were still here…"
End of this chapter.
Coming up next: Osaka, Asuka, and Ritsuko are now imprisoned within the walls of the Wonka Chocolate Factory! Willy Wonka has some sadistic plans for our anime characters up his sleeve, some containing usage of…. lingerie! What will they do? And what about Mizu, GIR, and Jimmy? What will become of them? And most importantly, what will become of Anime Survivor, Season Two: Shreenan Island now that Willy Wonka has taken control of the story! The insanity insues in chapter nine!