Collide
7- For Better or For Worse
Besides work, JJ barely ever saw Drake anymore. Even then, they didn't talk about trivial tings like they used to, just work. Then to JJ's irritation, Cyndi would always pop in every so often unexpectedly. And she had the nerve to kiss Drake in front of him and then try to make a conversation.
"Bitch," JJ muttered as she once more entered without warning. He wasn't in the best of moods with the case he was working on not going anywhere, and it worsened when she leaned down by Drake and--
JJ kept his eyes locked on his computer screen. He heard a wet smack and cringed. Only when he heard her high voice did he dare look back over. Cyndi smiled sweetly and waved to him. "Hiya!" she squealed.
"Hmm." JJ turned back to the screen, uninterested at her sappy chit-chat she always forced upon him.
He heard her whisper, "What's wrong with him?"
Drake answered loud enough for JJ to hear, "That time of the month." They shared a laugh, earning them both death looks.
"Fuck you," JJ spat.
"Are you upset because I'm never home?" Drake asked curiously.
"I don't give a flying fuck if you're home or not," JJ snapped. "It's much more peaceful without you around." He felt bad instantly as he saw the hurt in his partner's eyes.
"I didn't know I was such an inconvenience," Drake said quietly.
"Oh, Silly-Pee!" Cyndi cried. "You can live with me!"
"No, we agreed to do that after we're married. And don't call me that."
"That's stupid," JJ voiced. "Why would you get married to someone without knowing what they're always like? Same goes for sex. You know, what if you just totally clashed? Then your totally screwed if you find out that after you're married."
Cyndi's eyes burned. "Just because we don't do things before we wed doesn't mean we'll clash. We love each other and both of us know everything about each other. Waiting to experience things together like sex and a home is genuine love."
"Genuine stupidity," JJ corrected.
"It proves we love each other!" Cyndi bellowed.
"…or not."
"Why are you so pessimistic!"
"Cuz everything in the world is evil. Good and right will never prevail."
She pursed her red lips in anger. "You'll be lucky if you find anyone with that attitude."
JJ couldn't help himself. He blurted, "I did find someone. Just so happened he was stolen away from me. See? Good and right never prevail."
Cyndi smirked evilly. "Good and right? What makes you think your people are good and right?"
"Excuse me? My people? If your referring to gays, my ignorant unfriend, we at least have stronger relationships and understand each other better. It might have to do with the fact that there's no bitchy women like you to bring us down. I feel sorry for Drake. Wait, no I don't. He gets what he deserves." JJ couldn't believe what he was blurting out. Everything he said had just wiped Drake's face clean and emotionless. But those brown eyes flared dangerously.
That look said he had just lost his most important friendship.
The clock slowly blinked in the darkness, flipping numbers to indicate it was one o'clock in the morning. The faint noise of the heater clicked off. Soft mumbling came from underneath three shuddering bedcovers. Sheets rustled when the person beneath moved to an upright position.
"No more crying," JJ told himself. He tilted his head back until his watering eyes stopped. "Merry-fucking-happy New Years," he slurred. The alcohol he consumed earlier still hadn't worn off. He turned to his end table and spittle the bottle of vodka sitting wonderfully in the dim light. "Ah! My only friend!" JJ reached out and grabbed at the drink.
He winced as it burned down his throat. He belched loudly, feeling satisfied with himself. He swayed slightly and fell backwards. His head collided into the headboard with a loud smack that echoed in the quiet. "Ow." He rubbed the back of his head with one hand, and his other hand brought the bottle to his lips again. He chugged the little that was left. As soon as it was completely drained, he flung it clumsily and it shattered on the ground.
JJ stared, mesmerized by the glittering specks on his floor. "Glass is much prettier in a thousand pieces." An idea struck him brilliant, especially in his state of mind. He would break anything glass, and make all his floors speckle! He liked that idea very much.
He slipped out of bed and onto the floor. He crawled over to the broken bottle and picked up the largest intact piece. JJ turned it over and over in his hand to see it in different views. He set it down and reached for another section. As the glass was being enclosed, it sharply cut through his skin making him drop it quickly. JJ stared at the crimson flowing out of the slash. As it trickled down, he became enchanted by the ease and smooth way it moved. He crawled back into the light and raised his bleeding hand into the glow.
He watched every drop trickle down his wrist and pool around his sleeve. When the flow ceased, JJ felt suddenly angered. He reached behind him, harshly knocking the lamp to the floor, where it smashed. He grasped a slice with a sharp edge. He brought it to his left wrist, pushing downward.
Something in this mind sobered him up instantly. He assessed the situation carefully. Before the glass broke skin, he lifted it away and threw it aside.
Defeated, he crawled back into bed. As he laid there, he remembered a time when he had been happy. It seemed like ten years ago, when in reality it wasn't even half that long.
"Hey! Let's go JJ! We don't have all day!"
"Actually, we do."
"Yeah, well, I have plans for the two of us."
"Oh really? Like what?"
"It's a secret."
JJ smacked Drake in the arm. "Please, just tell me!"
Drake smiled but shook his head. He swung a prepared backpack over his shoulder and hooked their elbows together, leading his friend out of his apartment. JJ didn't object, but was quite confused. His partner barely ever acted so secretive, and there was something definitely strange in the way he was acting. If JJ didn't know better, he'd say Drake was taking him out on a date.
They walked arm in arm down the sidewalk, earning them strange, disapproving looks. JJ wondered what on earth his partner was thinking. JJ was used to the stares and name calling, having come out when he was sixteen. Drake should be defending himself and be conscious to the fact people were judging him. Why was he doing this?
He glanced sideways to look at the brown-haired man. He didn't seem to be the least bit bothered by the whispers and glares. JJ figured Drake really didn't have to be offended since it wasn't true, but still…
One particular lady marched right up to them. She spat out hateful words, jabbing them both in the chest with her pointer finger. JJ brushed off the insults, soon to revert to the way he took care of these messes. Everyone told him he was weird for doing it, but it brought humor and joy into the situation. When the old lady let out a peculiar string of curses, JJ took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
The woman poked him harshly again, and JJ opened his eyes in a flash. He jutted his hip out and rested a hand there, while he wildly flailed the other one around. He smiled crazily and turned to Drake. With a strong lisp and high voice, he said, "Oh, Dwakey, we've got ourselves another crazy." Drake raised an eyebrow but played along. Drake nodded his head and put his body in a pose like JJ. JJ giggled like a girl and stroked Drake's cheek affectionately. "Sweetie, why don't we go home and screw each other senseless?" He turned to the woman. "Do you wanna come an watch us? It'd be quite an education for you." He curled up next to Drake, who threw an arm around him.
The lady was quite taken aback. She retreated in horror, muttering obscenities as she left. When she was ten steps away, she looked back over her shoulder at the two men. JJ waved and she took off in a sprint. When she was finally out of sight, they dropped their act and burst out laughing.
Drake and JJ ended up in Central Park, where the shade from the trees brought little comfort from the smoldering summer heat. Drake threw down his backpack and took a seat in the shade. He rummaged through his bag and pulled out his brand-new digital camera. JJ sat next to his companion, examining his new camera.
"That's nice," JJ complimented. Drake smiled and held it out in front of them with the lens pointing towards them.
"Smile," Drake said, and threw an arm around JJ, pulling him close. They both smiled widely and Drake snapped the picture. He turned the camera around and reviewed the photo. "That's going on the wall."
JJ laughed at the picture, their expressions priceless. "I want a copy."
"Sure thing." Drake turned off his camera and put it back in the bag. "So, tell me, what was that with the lady?"
JJ laughed. "My 'stereotypical' act?"
"Is that was you call it?"
"Yep. It took a lot of practice, but I finally nailed it."
"I'm sure it's not the only thing you've ever nailed."
JJ gave Drake an evil glare. "Ha ha. Very funny."
"I thought it was." Drake chuckled briefly, but then turned very serious. "It didn't bother you? What she said?"
"It stings at first, but I get over it quickly."
"You're strong. When she started yelling at us, it hurt. You know, I'm not, but I still…"
"I know. Trust me, I know."
Drake stared at JJ. Drake was amazed how JJ handled things, and didn't let anyone get under his skin. He was truly the most resilient person he knew. "You're incredible, JJ. After everything, you still stand strong. I'm glad we're friends."
"Me too." JJ was surprised when Drake engulfed him in a tight embrace.
"We'll be friends forever, right?"
JJ knotted his eyebrows together. Drake was acting ultimately strange. He feared Drake was hiding something. He hoped nothing was wrong. "Of course. Friends forever."
" No matter what?"
"For better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health; from this day forward until death do us part."
Drake pulled away and gave JJ a weird look. "I said friends, not husband and…husband…"
"Right, of course." JJ giggled and messed up his friend's light brown hair. Drake let a smile appear on his face. He fell back and spread out on the grass. JJ looked down, watching the sunlight spill over Drake's body, then disappear when the tree swayed, engulfing him in shadows. A weird feeling crept into JJ's heart as he stared at his longtime friend.
"What cha thinking?" Drake asked, noticing the younger man's blank stare.
"Not sure," JJ answered truthfully.
"Hmm." Drake rolled over onto his side and propped his head on his hand. "Does it have anything to do with a certain black-haired man?"
"Dee?" JJ questioned. Drake nodded. JJ didn't really know. Now that he was mentioned, it made him think more. A feeling of resolution or happiness. Something that he used to feel for Dee was missing. It was now directed toward Drake instead. "No."
"Oh, then what?"
JJ smiled. "Nothing."
They spent the entire day at the park, mostly talking and playing around. JJ was thankful for the distractions; he didn't want to spend anymore time thinking about feelings. So, now, when they were lounging around back at Drake's apartment in silence, JJ's mind wandered uncontrollably. He kept catching himself staring at his best friend, and couldn't help but think he was strongly attracted to him. The more he thought, the more he was sure. He was in love.
JJ wanted to smack himself for it, but you can't help who you fall in love with. He was sure that he had been harboring these feelings for some time now, but was subconsciously hiding them. JJ wondered if his friend was bisexual; he sometimes felt gay vibes coming from him, a lot this afternoon.
JJ gazed longingly at Drake seated next to him. Drake felt eyes on him and turned to stare back. JJ felt himself leaning, closing the distance between them. Before he reached his destination, Drake stood up and ran off.
So, technically, it wasn't the happiest memory he had of Drake, but it was one of the most cherished.
He then recalled the hyper puppy, yipping away and flaunting itself like a god. He envied Jake. He envied a dog. But the furball stood for JJ's past, and it made him think way too much. He wasn't getting anywhere with his new attitude. He was losing friends and respect. He was even harming his health.
JJ smiled. He wasn't going to let things bother him anymore. He was going to apologize to everyone. And, above all, he was going to get Drake back and take him even if they were forever destined to be only friends.
Besides, Drake still owed him for the hospitality.
