Disclaimer: The characters and setting belong to JK Rowling. Thanks
Yawning
My Theory: Everyone looks ugly when they yawn.
Well, it's true. Your nose scrunches up with many, many wrinkles, your forehead creases, also forming many wrinkles, the inside of your mouth is disgusting, your eyes get smaller, your nostrils flare, and once you're finished, you look as if you've been crying.
This is no exaggeration. Take a look in the mirror. No, I'm not saying that you look ugly in general, only when you yawn. Everyone does.
But, just in case, I walked around the entire castle, watching people yawn, and occasionally asking them to yawn for me. I did get some weird looks while asking, but hey, my theory needed to be proven!
I practically watched the entire school, even some of the teachers, and got the same result: all looked ugly. And yes, ugliness is some sort of opinion, but I'm not that biased. I mean, you don't even have to ask Snape or Crabbe or Goyle to yawn before you decide that they are ugly. They're just… unanimously ugly.
It took two moths of watching people yawn to see at least 85 percent of the school. Who has this much time on their hands? Not me. I just wanted to get out of doing my homework.
I had no counterexamples of my theory, and was feeling great. It was after dinner, and as everyone decided to stay for desert, I quietly left the Great Hall for the common room. I wanted some peace and quiet.
Hermione was up there, too, reading ahead from her latest Arithmancy assignment. She obviously had been reading a while, since I hadn't seen her during dinner and she was at the last 30 pages of her 700-something paged book!
So, I had taken notes on the people that I watched, and made a table, listing their names and the characteristics of their yawn. Some people had tried to cover their mouths to be polite, but I saw right through that. Many were still unable to hide the insides of their mouths.
After about 10 minutes of examining my notes, I looked up at Hermione, who was just about to turn a page in her book, and saw her do the unthinkable.
With one hand on the page, she took her left hand to her mouth and began to yawn. Her small hand was able to cover all of her mouth, and on her forehead and the bridge of her nose were minimal wrinkles. Her eyes closed, and the firelight seemed to reflect off of her eyelashes. A small blush quietly crawled upon her cheeks. She then removed her hand, and slowly opened her eyes. She didn't look as though she had been crying, but actually has if someone had blown fairy dust into her eyes. She still had that slight blush, and began to turn the page. Man, she was beautiful.
"Bloody hell, Hermione," I whispered as soon as I got out of my dazed state.
Then, I internally slapped myself. God! She was always the one to prove my theories wrong! After spending two whole months of watching the castle yawn, I watch her yawn for 5 seconds, and all my research goes down the drain! Jesus, Hermione.
I then set my notes on the floor, and saw her yawn once more. I could watch her yawn all day, I thought to myself.
She stopped yawning, began to read, and I realized that she wasn't just pretty when she yawned. I searched through my memories to see if there was ever a time in which I believed her to be ugly. I found none. My heart skipped a beat, and a swarm of butterflies flew through my stomach.This time, I actually did slap myself, and received a look of concern from Hermione. If it has taken me more than 5 years and two months of yawning research to find that Hermione is beautiful, then I must be the largest and stupidest idiot in the whole entire universe!
A/N: Please don't take offense, I'm sure that you look beautiful/ handsome when you yawn; I just needed something to work with.