Chapter Six

A Bit More Complicated

George and Lee were waiting up for Fred when he got back to the dormitory. "Well?" George asked eagerly.

Fred sighed. He'd told both George and Lee about how he'd been hoping to get answers out of Hermione; they were both putting as much thought into what her problem was as Fred was. "All I got out of her was another detention," he said glumly.

"How the hell did you manage that?" Lee demanded.

"She kissed me again."

"She did what?!" George and Lee exclaimed at the same time.

"She kissed me again," Fred repeated irritably. "And Snape showed up. Again."

George and Lee stared at him. "Well," George said finally, "I think it's safe to say she's lost it."

"You should have seen what she was wearing," Fred said, flopping down on his bed. "What the hell is she doing?"

"I don't know, mate, but you've got to do something about her," Lee said. "If this keeps up, you guys will be shagging by Christmas holidays."

George raised his eyebrows. "And the downside of that would be...?"

"George," Fred whined. "She's... she's evil. She's prissy, bossy, evil—"

"And hot," George supplied. "Face it, brother mine, you don't make out like that with a girl three times for no good reason. She's up to something. She's declared war."

"Why?" Lee asked no one in particular. "What's her motive? How is she getting back at him by making everyone think they're shagging in broom closets?"

"I don't know," George said slowly. "Maybe she's not trying to get back at him." His eyes widened suddenly. "Maybe she's trying to get with him!"

"What?" Lee and Fred said in unison.

"Come on, think about it. You like a girl, you flirt with said girl. And today she kissed you when no one was around—it's about more than keeping up the charade now. Maybe she's trying to make you like her. By making your hormones like her."

"My hormones already like her," Fred said, rolling his eyes. "That's not a bad theory, but it's not at all like Hermione."

"When was the last time Hermione was like Hermione lately?" George replied. "Maybe all those little adventures with Harry and Ron pushed her off the deep end or something, gave her a few too many head injuries. But you've kissed her once. She's kissed you twice. And Lee's right, if this keeps up you'll be shagging by Christmas."

"I don't know—I find it a bit hard to believe that she'd try to seduce me," Fred said skeptically.

"She's playing something, there's no doubt about that," Lee said with a sigh.

Fred sat up suddenly. "Well, she's playing with the wrong Weasley. She wants war, I'll give her war." He grinned mischievously. "I don't know what her problem is. But her most likely motive is getting back at me, making me tell the truth. Well, let her try. I'll show her!"

"I know that look," George said, staring at Fred as though he might be dangerous. "That look means you're prepared to do something stupid. Something very reckless, including absolute mayhem and a rule-breaking plan that's going to get us all in very deep trouble with Hermione, Filch, McGonagall, probably Snape somehow and maybe even Dumbledore."

"Are you in?" Fred asked him calmly.

"Oh, hell yeah. I'm very in."

They sat up late into the night discussing ideas, but in the end they didn't come up with much. All they had was a somewhat suicidal plan to find her and to get her to talk.

Unfortunately for Fred, winning his little war wasn't what was truly at the top of his to-do list. After tonight, he wasn't sure he'd ever look at Hermione in the same way again. A large part of him was confused, but he understood enough of the mess to realize that he was slowly developing feelings for Hermione Granger, and if he didn't sort things out soon, he was going to be in for it. He was on dangerous ground, and things were about to get deadly.

Fred's plan was simple: drag the truth out of Hermione at all costs. The twins and Lee had compiled a list of just how to do this... and if none of them worked, Fred figured he'd just make out with Hermione and then ask her what was going on while she was still stunned, which would be fun even if it didn't work. Meanwhile, if she wanted to act like Fred had been telling the truth, Fred would not only go along, he would further the rumor.

He called it Operation Karma, which basically meant he was going to give what he got, and she was going to get what she gave, and he was going to win. Unfortunately, he had no real plan beyond that, so he figured he'd just go with the flow and come up with another idea somewhere along the line.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Lee asked for the fifth time as the three of them marched to the library.

"Yes."

"Fred, it's not that this isn't a decent plan. It just might be a bad idea for you to make it a mission to antagonize our brother's best friend," George said.

"And long-standing crush," Lee added.

"Who's a Prefect," George said.

"And really, really good at Defense Against the Dark Arts," Lee pointed out.

"If you just want to make out with her, say so," George continued, smirking.

Fred stopped at the library doors with his hand on the knob and glared at George. "It is not about kissing her! Yes, she's good at it. No, it's not my motive. I'm going to get to her and figure out what the hell is going on. Unless you guys have got a better plan, this is it. We're going to mess with her head, and then we're going to figure out something else to do."

Fred burst through the door. Hermione, the only patron, looked up in surprise and mild anxiety before her face became expressionless. "Hello, darling," Fred drawled.

"Hello," she said calmly, turning back to her books. She began to pack them up, just as she had done in the common room. The three boys looked at each other, wondering what their next move should be. Then George stepped forward, dutifully trying to help his brother.

"Come now," George said cheerfully, sitting down next to her. "Is that all your 'boyfriend' gets? A hello and a cold shoulder?"

Hermione looked up at him. "We 'broke up,' Fred, remember?"

George blinked. Oops, he thought, swallowing as she stared at him coolly. She wasn't paying attention when I came over, she thinks I'm Fred—holy shit!

Just as he opened his mouth to point out that he was George, Hermione leaned in to kiss him. George suddenly understood just why Hermione was driving his twin brother insane. She kissed like Aphrodite herself. He'd never kissed a girl who was half as good. Before he knew what he was doing, he was pulling her onto his lap. It was a good long while before he came back to reality—and it would have been a longer while if Lee hadn't cleared his throat loudly (well, it was pretty loud by the fifth time, which was when George finally heard him).

George's eyes snapped open and he pulled back. Hermione kissed him a few more times on the lips, quickly, barely anything deeper than pecks, though by the third one George was prepared to return to full-out making out. Hermione abruptly stood, grabbed her bag, and was sauntering out the door before any of them could blink.

"Stop her!" George yelled belatedly, shaking his head in an attempt to clear the mental fog. "Stop that girl! I forgot to tell her I'm not Fred!"

Fred was gaping at him. Gaping, in pure, undiluted shock. Lee was trying not to laugh.

"Okay, Fred," George said, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. "This is a bit more complicated than we thought."

Ginny was talking to Harry and Ron in the common room. What they were discussing, Hermione couldn't care less about. She threw her bag down on their table, grabbed Ginny by the arm and without a word dragged Ginny straight out the portrait hole and down the hall to the girls' toilets. She checked to make sure they were alone, cast an Imperturbable Charm on the door and let out a scream so loud that Ginny screamed back in surprise and nervousness.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Ginny asked when they'd both calmed down.

"I—I kissed—AAAAAAAHHHH!" Hermione screamed again.

"You kissed Fred, right?" Ginny said, confused. Hermione shook her head and moaned. "Then who... oh, gods above, 'Mione. Tell me you didn't."

"I thought he was Fred!" Hermione wailed. "What the hell did I get myself into?!"

"How do you know it was George?" Ginny demanded.

"It clicked when I was making my hasty exit and heard him yelling he forgot to tell me he wasn't Fred," Hermione snapped.

"Well, what exactly happened?"

Hermione quickly related the story. "I can't believe it," she added afterwards. "I mean, I looked down, and when I looked up, there was a Weasley twin next to me saying 'is that all your boyfriend gets' and giving me that annoying little smirk. I thought for sure he was Fred."

Ginny bit her lip. "Well, that was a pretty major case of mistaken identity, but to tell you the truth, I don't think this matters in the scheme of things. It sounds like George enjoyed it as much as Fred—"

"Maybe even more than," Hermione muttered.

"—so George will be a lot more understanding of Fred. Which means George will help Fred solve the little mystery at all costs. Which means they'll play right into our hands. But I think there's a slight problem—they know we're playing a game."

"What do you mean?"

"They know you're up to something, fooling with their heads. They don't believe this is about you liking Fred. So let's make them believe it."

"How?" Hermione asked, wincing at the evil look on Ginny's face.

"You'll see."

"Uh-oh."