I apologize profusely. I can't believe it took this long… I don't even have a good excuse. Please don't hurt me too badly…

Disclaimer: The characters, basic story line, and other things like that still belong to J.K. Rowling. Darn.

To All My Reviewers: Thank you so much, you guys are the best. I'll put individual ones next time, but for this chapter I'm just going to work on the story. But thank you!

Chapter 4: The Art of Avoidance

Deep breaths. DEEP breaths. Calm Hermione. Calm.

So it's nothing new- just walking down to dinner right? So I'm just a little shaken. Possibly because I missed the fact that the last class ended… and Ron was the one who had to yell at me to tell me I had. And quite possibly because the reason I missed it was because I was daydreaming.

And quite QUITE possibly because I was daydreaming about him.

So as you can see, the whole breathing-and-walking-at-the-same-time thing has kind of gone out the door, mostly because I'm too busy over-analyzing the entire scene:

Maybe he didn't notice…

YOU WERE SITTING THERE DROOLING LIKE AN IDIOT! OF COURSE HE NOTICED!

Maybe note, I mean, he doesn't notice me when I try to get his attention usually!

Yes, well, maybe you're just a tad too subtle. Keep at this, though, and he'll be sure to notice you. He might even call his nice friends at the psychiatry ward.

I am NOT psychotic!

Hello? Having conversations in your brain? Just a little…

I looked over to see Ron talking animatedly to Harry. He did something with his hands that looked vaguely like he was trying to be a Muggle airplane, like little kids do when they're playing. Shaking my head and promising myself I wouldn't ask, I slipped away to go sit with Parvarti and Lavender, who were talking about, what else, boys.

"Hermione! Oh my gosh, hi!" Lavender squealed as I slid into the seat next to her.

"Hey Hermione! Aren't you going to sit with Ron and Harry?" Parvati questioned, a look on her face that obviously stated that she knew that something was up, and she wanted to know. I decided to play it cool. HAHAHA. More to the point, I decided to stammer a response, blush, and try to convince them that this was perfectly normal.

"Umm, no, they were going on about something, and I really didn't feel like joining in the conversation, so, yeah…" I could feel my face burning, so I looked down at the pork chop I had just transferred onto my plate and concentrated on cutting it without somehow injuring myself or any other person in the process.

"Really? You guys didn't fight or anything? 'Cause, you know, you've been out roommate for like, 5 years, and if something happened, you can tell us, honest. We can keep a secret, we swear." Great. Now Lavender was looking at me all intensely and trying-to-be-sympathetically like she knew that I was hiding something, and that she knew I knew that she knew it, and if she played the whole roommate-for-5-going-on-6-years card I might tell. Jeez, for someone so blonde she can be so sneaky! Well, two can play this game. She's getting nothing out of me.

"Oh, I know. Nothing happened, I just felt like some gossip and girl-talk, that's all." Hah, take that Lavender Brown. Hmm, it seemed to have worked, she and Parvati are looking at each other, and shrugging and…. Yes! Back to the conversation on who was on the 50 Sexiest Wizards in England list in Witches Weekly. Now I'll just nod I like I follow that garbage too.

"Hermione! What's up? Did you and my brother have a fight?" Dang it, easier said than done. If it isn't Miss Ginevra Weasley, Thou-Who-I-Am-Determined-Not-To-Think-About's sister.

"Oh, no, I just needed little change. Too much testosterone for me," I laughed. Hmm… maybe she'll but that. After all, she did grow up in a house with 6 brothers.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Just checking, because if you had, I might have to beat his sorry little ass." I laughed with Ginny, both of us knowing full well that she could beat his "sorry little ass" if she wanted to. But he does have really strong arms… and I doubt the rest of him is so bad either…

No! Stop it brain! No thinking like that at the dinner table!

Fine! You're so boring!

Yea, but at least I'm not thinking dirty thoughts at dinner!

Yes you are! We're the same brain! Oh oh! Score!

Quiet you.

"So, Hermione, what do you think of John Thompson? You know, the lead singer of Grinding Ghouls? Isn't he just DIVINE?" Sigh, the smaller life forms at the table seem to have been reduced to giggling heaps. Hmm, maybe I should look at this guy, it might help me get over…You-Know-Who. Wait- not THAT You-Know-Who. The You-Know-Who who has a red hair. Yes, that's it. From now on, HE's The Redhead. Enh, that sound weird. Oh well, I know who I'm talking about

So does the rest of the wizarding world, genius.

…Shut up. He'll be…oh whatever he'll just be HIM or HE.

'Cause THAT's differentiating.

Again, shut up.

Wow, that arguing took up a lot of time. The Bimbos and Ginny were done eating, and I had pretty much destroyed my pork chop, so we started heading back, all laughing about something, I missed what but I figured if I laughed I'd look less pathetic.

Hmm, was that HIM (See? See? It works!) looking at me? Oh oh! Was that HIM (Hehe fun!) leaning over to whisper something to Harry? Score!

Either that or I have something in my teeth or I sat in something, but we won't discuss this possibility.

We kept going back to the dorm, gossiping about the Supreme Gorgeousness of some wizard, not that Thompson guy. Its so confusing to have a conversation with them I swear. Whatever, I'll take Orlando Bloom any day. He is most definitely the Epitome of Hottness. But I digress. We made it to the Gryffindor Tower, where the Bimbos went off to dive into Cosmo Witch and Ginny went to finish her Charms homework. I decided to get my latest book, History of Hogsmeade, (it's fascinating, really) and make a serious dent in it. I just can't get enough of the history of these Wizarding communities.

Oops, here come Lavender and Parvati again. I never should have eaten dinner with them. BIG mistake. They better not be coming to tell me that I should let them make me over, because they have that same solemn look on their face that they did the last four hundred seventy six times they told me that. Oh, they have books. That's good. That's very good. Or it may be bad. Very bad. I'm leaning towards the latter.

"Hey Hermione. Parvati and I were talking, weren't we Parvati?" Lavender said, looking at Parvati for confirmation, which she got in the form of a solemn nod. You'd think someone died.

"Well, we found these books and thought you might like to use them." Lavender finished talking and was now holding to books out to me. One said Wizards are From Mars, Witches are from Venus on the cover, the other said Charms to Improve Your Appearance.

"Because you like reading and stuff," Parvati explained, now looking at me hopefully while Lavender went to say something else.

"And, if you like, we can make you over. I'm sure Ron would like it. You were only staring at him all dinner."

Bad Words. Very Bad Words.

"Don't worry, he was staring at you too. God, you guys need flirting advice," Parvati reassured me, shaking her head.

"So what do you say?" Twin pairs of big eyes stared at me, like they wanted a doggy treat or something. Right then Ron came in. And immediately his eyes found me, and I looked away. I must be tomato red by now. Oh great, now the Bimbos are raising they're eyebrows, and opening they're mouths really wide….

Isn't this blackmail?

"Fine," I said, before they could yell anything I'd regret. Wait does that make sense? Oh well.

The things I do for avoidance…

So there it is. More to come. I swear. A pinkie promise. Before Christmas. And if I don't update by then…. you have my permission to never review again. gasps So, anyhoo, please review, and a new one will come soon. SOOO…. G'night. (I'm finishing this at night, but feel free to substitute another time of day in there.)

Oh, and I swear there won't be any "transformed" Hermione, because I'm all for Hermione being bookish and brainy and sans-pancake make-up, so don't worry, there is a method to my madness, as one of my teachers would say.