Chapter Nine

New Ideas

Lee hadn't made it back to lunch by the time Fred and George had been forced to leave for fear of running into Hermione, so they met up on the way to Care of Magical Creatures, Lee filling them in quickly on the girls' opinions as they walked across the lawns.

"It's not good," Lee said flatly. "They think you're jackasses for pulling this. They hope Hermione kicks your ass. And they said don't bother trying to be chummy with them until you've stopped being prats."

"Yeah, that's about what I expected them to say," Fred said with a sigh. "Well, when it's all over and done with, we'll all have a good laugh and a butterbeer."

Lee laughed. "By the time this is all over, the entire thing's going to have become so backwards that George will be proposing to Hermione. I mean, this is all funny and everything, but—" Lee stopped. Fred had stopped walking, standing still with a shocked look of realization on his face. "What's with you?" he asked as he and George turned to stare.

"That's brilliant," Fred breathed. "It's bloody brilliant!"

"What's bloody brilliant?" Lee asked, staring at Fred with a careful sort of look, as though Fred might explode and Lee wanted to be prepared to run for the minimum safe distance.

"Oh, no. Not that look," George moaned. "That's the 'epiphany look.' You've just gotten an idea for some crazy scheme that will at the very least have us facing detention until we graduate, and that's if we're lucky. Otherwise, it's off to Azkaban."

"Stop being so fatalistic," Fred said impatiently. "I've got a great idea!"

"Did they buy it?" Hermione asked in a low voice as she, Harry, and Ron sat in the back of their Charms class, practicing the day's spell.

"He almost cracked," Harry said, sighing. "He stopped himself just in time. Pity; Parvati and Lavender were nearby."

"We'll get him," Ron said. He smiled. "Maybe we should go give Fred our blessing or something, Harry. Say he has our full support in dating our best friend."

Harry chuckled. "Or maybe one of us should go up to him and say we have feelings for 'Mione and want to know if he plans to stay broken up for good."

"Don't," Hermione warned them. "That could end the game, if he's smart. All he'd have to do is say 'sure,' and then it would be over."

"Fred wouldn't do that, he's having too much fun. Besides," Ron said with a smile, "if he did that, we could have a big scene where Hermione says no to one of us because she's too in love with Fred. Or whichever one of us did it could go to Fred and start yelling about how Fred doesn't deserve Hermione—what's with you two?"

Both Harry and Hermione were staring at him in amazement. "That's an excellent idea, Ron!" Hermione breathed. "It'd work so perfectly!"

"Wait, I was kidding," Ron said quickly. "It was a joke."

"Think about it, Ron," Harry said slowly. "One of us asks Hermione out where everyone can hear us. The next day the same person goes chasing down Fred to yell at him... and then the day after that, the one who doesn't do it has a shouting match with Fred about it. You know—something along the lines of 'you don't really care! You're just being selfish! Let someone who deserves her have a go! Watch your back!' That sort of thing."

Ron stared at his excited friends in disbelief. "You guys are kidding, right?"

"No! It'd be great!" Hermione said enthusiastically.

"No way!" Ron exclaimed.

"You don't have to do it, Ron," Harry said reluctantly. "I'll... I'll pretend to be the one with the crush. We'll get Ginny to do the yelling."

Ron sighed. "No... they've probably already figured out Ginny knows, Hermione tells her everything. If they do know, and she went and yelled at him, it would be it obvious that the whole thing was a ruse."

"And then they'd figure out you and Harry know," Hermione agreed, nodding. "Okay. So... are you up for it, Ron?"

Ron sighed again. "Why not?" he said, rolling his eyes. "Why not?"

Hermione split up from Harry and Ron after Charms, heading for Arithmancy. George gave Fred and Lee one last "I-don't-want-to-do-this-please-don't-make-me" look before heading after her.

Hermione was the only fifth-year Gryffindor who took Arithmancy; the class was one of the most difficult and as such usually the smallest and composed of students from all four houses. George saw Parvati's twin sister Padma waiting to enter the classroom and smiled; the news he was about to create would definitely be all over Hogwarts soon.

He watched as Hermione struck up a conversation with a couple of Ravenclaw girls George didn't know. Schooling his features into a half-embarrassed, half-hopeful expression, he cleared his throat.

"Hermione?"

She turned, rolled her eyes, and glared at him. "Hello Fred—oh, I mean George," she said, her voice dripping sarcasm.

George's blush had nothing to do with acting as several of the other Arithmancy students exchanged glances and whispers. "Um, can I talk to you for a second?" he asked hesitantly.

"No," Hermione said flatly. "Thanks to you, Fred and I still aren't speaking to each other."

George's shock at her actions was gone in an instant. If she wanted to play the crowd, fine, he could too, but he was more indignant about her words than worried about keeping their little fight going.

"Excuse me?" George said angrily. "Thanks to me? You kissed me! How exactly is that my fault?"

"You knew I thought you were Fred," Hermione said coldly.

"You should be able to tell us apart," George retorted. "You've known us for almost five years now. I know that you've probably had the lights off whenever you spent time with him over the past few months, but—"

"How dare you!" Hermione interrupted, ignoring the whispers and laughs George's remark had gotten from the other students. "If your brother wants to believe it's not your fault, fine, but don't even try to sell me that bull! You kissed me back, you pulled me onto your lap and you didn't even bother to try to tell me you were George! You let me think you were Fred!"

George sighed, trying to fight down his real feelings at her statement and get back to the short script he'd prepared. "I couldn't help it," he said sheepishly.

"You damned well could have helped it, and you know it," Hermione snarled.

"No I couldn't have!" he yelled, causing her to arch an eyebrow at him. "You don't know what it's like, hearing Fred talk about you all the time and having to bite my tongue because you're his girl!"

"What are you talking about?" Hermione demanded.

"Let me talk to you alone," George pleaded.

"No," Hermione said firmly.

George bit his lip. He knew that this would go a lot better in private, as far as getting back at Hermione was concerned, but he knew there would be benefits to having everyone else listening, too. "Fine," he said after a long pause. "Look, I kissed you back because I've been wanting to for years. And ever since this whole mess with Fred started I realized I'd probably never have a shot with you and when you kissed me I just stopped caring about Fred, okay? I have feelings for you. Happy now?"

Hermione simply stared at him in disbelief. George turned tail and ran, grinning.

It had worked.

"I think it was rather pathetic," Hermione told Ginny at breakfast the next morning as they waited for Harry and Ron to show up. "I mean, if that's all they can come up with, I might as well just assume victory now, you know?"

Ginny nodded slowly, looking uncomfortable. "Um, Herm? You do realize that George could have been telling the truth, right?"

Hermione froze, staring at Ginny, a forkful of eggs forgotten halfway to her mouth. "What?" Hermione stammered, confused.

Ginny blushed and toyed with her food absently, looking away. "Well... it's just, think about it. Why else would he have kissed you back?"

Hermione's jaw opened and closed several times before she managed to say, "Gin, there's no way in hell. Besides, Fred kisses back all the time. Why not George? He was just enjoying the moment."

"It's possible that he wasn't," Ginny said bluntly. "He may have a crush on you."

"Yeah, right," Hermione snorted. "Why wouldn't he have told me before now?"

"Why hasn't Ron? Or Neville?" Ginny responded.

Hermione paled visibly and still hadn't remembered the fork she was holding, but she still stubbornly shook her head. "Neville asked me to the Yule Ball."

"Yeah, as a friend," Ginny said, rolling her eyes. "And Ron still hasn't said anything. It took Viktor... what? Almost two months, and he had an excuse—a ball. Not to mention the fact that Viktor knew if you shot him down, he would only have to live with the rejection and humiliation for a few weeks until he went back to Durmstrang. It's quite possible that George just hasn't gotten the nerve to tell you before now. I mean, I saw him kiss Katie a couple of times, and it was never anything like what you said he did. If he thinks you're starting to fall for Fred, then he might have panicked, thinking you're about to be taken, and decided to go for it."

Hermione was struggling to find an argument. She at last realized her hand was still holding up a bite of food and popped it into her mouth to stall. "Wait—if this plan has been in their heads for awhile, they could've easily set me up to kiss him!" Hermione exclaimed triumphantly. "They came up with that 'how-could-you-kiss-my-brother' scene in the common room awfully quick. Maybe it was already planned."

Ginny shook her head. "I don't think they could have planned you would mix up Fred and George. You never have before."

"Damn it, one stupid mistake and the next thing you know..." she grumbled.

Ginny giggled. "Well, let's worry about George later. For now, let's concentrate on Fred."

"Good plan," Hermione agreed.

Harry and Ron arrived just then, sliding onto the bench across from the girls. "Well?" Harry said eagerly.

"Well what?" Hermione said.

"When do we start phase two?" Ron asked impatiently. "Harry and I have some really good ideas for it."

"I thought you weren't too keen on the plan, Ron," Ginny said suspiciously.

"I wasn't, but this is going to be great," Ron told her, grinning mischievously. "I feel like... like I'm finally getting revenge on him and George for every annoying thing they've ever done."

"And for half the annoying things they're going to do in the future," Hermione said happily.