Chapter 20

Stunned Snape

As Fred waltzed into the Great Hall beside his exhausted brother and friend, he caught sight of Angelina, Alicia and Katie, who were all marching towards the twins and Lee with black looks on their faces. Fred braced himself, but was in far too good a mood to worry.

"Hey, guys," Fred said, giving them a small smile and having enough sense not to make a joke; he'd known the girls long enough to know when they wanted to strangle him.

"Do the words 'Quidditch practice' mean anything to you?" barked Angelina, the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain.

"Oh," Fred said, cringing. "Yeah, that."

"I've spoken to McGonagall, and she said that you can come to practice as soon as you've finished the bathroom you're to clean today," Angelina continued. "Meet us in the common room when you're done, and hurry up. And tell George, too."

The girls swept away. Fred frowned, wondering what she'd meant by "tell George," and looked behind him to find that Lee and George had both run for it when they'd seen the girls approach.

Fred rolled his eyes and went to pick him up some breakfast. Who cared if his three closest friends—after George and Lee—were pissed off? He had a girl to win over.

Classes moved quickly, Fred barely hearing a word that was said as he waited for day to end and detention to begin, idly marveling at his peculiar desire to actually go to detention. Just after dinner, he arrived at McGonagall's office to find Hermione already there, wordlessly gathering supplies before heading out to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. Fred got his own stuff and followed, unable to stop grinning the whole way. He thought for a few moments about whether he should put up a "Closed for Cleaning" sign on the door, but decided against it; given what had happened yesterday, that would attract twice as many people.

Fred set down his bottles and brushes and turned to Hermione, who was all ready starting to clean the sinks. Fred opened his mouth, a prepared speech all ready to tumble out when a knock on the door sounded. Hermione practically ran to the door to open it, leaving Fred to frown and wonder who dared disrupt his master plan.

"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed happily. "Oh, I'm so glad you could make it!"

Fred gaped in furious disbelief as Harry stepped into the bathroom, smiling. "Thanks for letting me come," he said. He held up his Charm book. "I'm really behind."

"Oh, Harry, how can you be behind two days after vacation?" Hermione said in exasperation as she shut the door behind Harry.

"I was behind long before vacation," Harry said with a shrug. "Besides, normal people don't do extra homework on vacation, Hermione."

Hermione giggled. "All right, what are you having problems with?"

"Well, this thing about—"

"You invited Harry to our detention!" Fred burst out suddenly, for all the world as though Hermione had brought Harry along on their honeymoon.

Harry and Hermione turned to look at him blankly, remembering his presence. "He needed homework help," Hermione said, raising her eyebrows at Fred's tone and angry expression.

"But… but… this is our detention!"

"Yes, and it'll be a lot less boring if I have Harry to talk to," Hermione told him, then promptly turned her back on him and started scrubbing a sink.

Fred stared at her back, enraged. She was messing up his plan! And she was doing it on purpose! She was sending a message, and Fred got it, loud and clear—she would rather spend time with Harry than with Fred. Fred picked up a bottle of cleaner, squeezing it so hard it was a wonder it didn't break.

"I haven't been in here in years," Harry was saying, glancing around. "That's where we brewed the Polyjuice Potion—and oh, wow. The entrance to the Chamber of Secrets—"

"Oh, yes, I see the little snake you told me about," Hermione said. "So you just spoke to it and it let you right in?"

"It took a second to figure out how to use Parseltongue on demand, but yeah, that was how it worked." Harry grinned. "I can still see Ron shoving Lockheart down the pipe—"

"Oh, no one cares!" Fred roared, his yell so abrupt that Harry and Hermione jumped. "Get out of my detention, Harry! Go on, get!"

Once again, Harry and Hermione just sort of stared at him, startled. "You heard me!" Fred shouted. "Out! Out! Now is a time for ki—cleaning! Go on, you can do your homework later! By yourself, like a normal stupid person!"

Hermione glared at Fred, while Harry settled on a blank, Fred-really-has-lost-it look. Fred could have sworn he heard a suppressed chuckle, but if either Harry or Hermione was amused, they were hiding it well. "You have no right to make him leave," Hermione snapped at Fred.

Fred thought for a second, then pointed the bottle of cleaner at her in triumph. "Ha! It's a girls' bathroom! He's not allowed!"

"Like that ever stopped anyone," Hermione said, rolling her eyes. "And in case you haven't noticed, Fred, you're a guy. A sad excuse for one, but a guy nonetheless."

Fred ignored the insult. "I was ordered to be here! He was not! Therefore, he should leave!"

"There's no reason for him to leave, and you can't make him, anyway!"

"Yeah? What do you think McGonagall would say about this?"

"Fred Weasley, telling on someone who's breaking a rule? Yeah, right. Besides, I looked it up. As long as it doesn't affect the work getting done, there's no rule against socializing during a detention."

"Then how come we keep getting in trouble for it, eh?" Fred said. "It is obviously quite illegal! Harry now belongs in Azkaban!"

"Would you listen to yourself?" Hermione said, throwing up her hands. "You're a raving lunatic!"

"Which I'm sure is your fault!"

"I should have brought popcorn," Harry muttered, sitting down on a sink.

"My fault? You've driven me far crazier than I've driven you!"

"Excuse me? I'm turning into Oliver Wood! Drawing battle plans and discussing strategy at one in the morning! The horror!"

Fred realized that he was waving his arms around wildly only after the bottle of cleaner slipped from his fingers and went flying; it soared unheeded into a corner—and then bounced off of something before it could hit the wall.

"OW! IDIOT GRYFFINDORS!"

Harry, Hermione and Fred all turned towards the corner, their wands raised. "Who's there?" Harry called.

"I'm warning you, now is not the time to intrude on me!" Fred yelled at whoever it was.

"What do we do?" came a soft whisper, a different voice than the first they'd heard, a female voice that sounded quite familiar.

"Show yourself!" Hermione snapped. "I'm a prefect!"

"Yes, and prefects are oh-so-scary," Fred said, rolling his eyes.

"Shut up, Fred!"

"Make me, you… you… bookwormy little prude, you!"

"How DARE you! Don't even start that—"

"IF WHOEVER IS IN THAT CORNER DOESN'T COME OUT NOW," Harry roared over the sound of Fred and Hermione's bickering, "I'M GOING TO CURSE YOU BUT GOOD."

"Run!" hissed another new voice.

"Go! GO!" said another.

"Fifty points from Gryffindor!" the first voice said.

There was the sound of hurried footsteps and then the door opened of its own accord. "Stupefy!" Hermione shouted several times aiming wildly at the door, and Fred and Harry joined in.

When they couldn't hear anyone else trying to run, Hermione strode forward with her hands outstretched until she bumped into something, a Stunned person, and yanked the invisibility cloak they were wearing down—

Revealing the face of none other than Professor Severus Snape.

Harry, Hermione and Fred stared in disbelief and not a little horror. "So THAT'S how he keeps catching us," Fred breathed. "What a slimy little git."

"I just Stunned Snape!" Hermione wailed. "Oh my god! What do we do!"

Fred, the resident expert on avoiding getting into trouble, pointed his wand around the room, muttering the cleaning spells that would take care of the work they were supposed to do by hand. "What do you think?" he snapped, scooping up the cleaning supplies and pushing past her to sprint out the door. Hermione followed a split-second later, after throwing the cloak back over Snape's face, Harry right on her heels. Harry and Hermione dashed towards Gryffindor Tower, while Fred ran to McGonagall's office to return the cleaning supplies.

If Fred hadn't been so intent on putting as much distance as possible between himself and the Stunned Head of Slytherin House, he would have wondered at the peculiar scene of Professors McGonagall, Hooch, Sinistra, Vector and Sprout, grouped just down the hall from the bathroom and laughing their heads off.

Ron sat in the common room with Angelina, Alicia and Katie, waiting for Fred to show up so that they could start Quidditch practice. The three girls were gossiping about something or another; he had absolutely no idea what, however. Once again, he was dwelling on Fred and Hermione.

Ron had first developed a crush on Hermione the moment he saw her, popping into the train compartment five years ago on his first trip to Hogwarts, storming in and taking over his life. He'd never said anything to her about his feelings, not wanting to ruin their friendship or have her reject him and as such be awkward around him for the rest of her life. Over the years, he'd started to resign himself to just being her friend, figuring that it was better than nothing, and for the most part, he'd enjoyed her friendship without feeling like he wouldn't be satisfied with only being friends.

It bugged him, though, that Hermione liked Fred; there was no doubt about that. It would probably always bug him. But he knew from experience that there was no helping who you had a crush on. If she liked Fred, and not Ron, Ron doubted he could change that. He doubted he could do anything but be happy for her, like Harry was trying to be, and Ginny. Ron knew he had to let it go, stop being angry with Harry and Ginny for trying to tell him that he should support Hermione, and just take their advice.

Just then, the portrait hole swung open, and Hermione and Harry practically leaped through the entrance before sagging against it, gasping. They turned to look at each other and then both started laughing. Ron frowned, wondering just what was going on.

"I have Quidditch practice," Harry gasped finally. "I'd better go change."

"Yes, I'll see you later," Hermione said, and headed up the stairs to the girls' dormitories.

Harry headed for his own room, still smiling. "What's going on?" Katie said as he passed. "Is Hermione's detention over?"

"Yeah," Harry told her. "Fred should be here any second."

Ron watched as Harry started up the stairs, and suddenly made up his mind, his anger about Hermione and Fred evaporating. If Ron could only be friends with Hermione, then so be it.

"Hey, Harry!" Ron called. "Wait up."

George didn't say anything as he headed down to Quidditch practice with Fred, following Angelina, Alicia and Katie at minimum safe distance, with Harry and Ron—the team's Keeper—not far behind, the two of them talking amicably, a drastic change from the frosty silence Ron had been keeping since morning. George stored that information away for later thought, and turned instead to his twin, who was doing his best to seem fine. George wasn't fooled, however. He knew Fred was unbelievably pissed off, and it didn't take an Einstein to figure out that it had something to do with Hermione.

Practice started with few words exchanged between most of the team; Harry concentrated on the Snitch, Angelina and Alicia and Katie attempted to get the Quaffle past Ron, and George and Fred smacked a single Bludger to each other, then one twin would protect the team while the other tried to knock the team off their brooms before they switched positions. Fred wasn't playing his best; he was too good a player to let the Bludger by too often, but there were a few near misses and some screams from the rest of the team. George frowned each time Fred missed an easy hit and stayed lost in thought himself for most of the practice.

For some time now, he'd wondered if Fred really liked Hermione. It wasn't exactly inconceivable. She was intelligent, she was clever, she was nice, she was tough, and she was fun to be around when she wasn't trying to pretend that she'd never broken a rule in her life. She wasn't bad-looking, either; she wasn't gorgeous like some girls, but she was a far cry from ugly, especially when she tried or gave in to Ginny's pleas to put more thought into her appearance. And George knew first-hand that she was a damned good kisser. Yeah, they'd always just sort of thought of her as Ron's friend, or Harry's friend, or the chick with some freakish love of books and a somewhat misplaced sense of injustice about house elves, but she was still a cool, good-looking girl. Now that Fred had stopped thinking of her as a kid who liked to read and occasionally pull some heroic feat, George wouldn't be at all surprised if Fred had a thing for her. In all actuality, the question probably wasn't if Fred liked her or not; no, the question was how to get Fred to pull his head out of his ass and do something normal for a change, like ask out the girl he liked. Although another question might be just why Fred kept trying to kill Harry all throughout practice (Harry was now on the lookout for the Bludger more than the Snitch) and what had happened last night to make Fred start an Oliver-Wood-like meeting in the middle of the night.

Well, if George wanted to make his brother pull his head out of his ass, his best bet was probably to get Hermione to pull her head out of her ass first. She might be stubborn, but at least she wasn't completely insane.