Title: Anger Management

Author: S.L. Pagniello

Chapter: 7

Ship: Dr/ Hr

Rating: R

Synopsis: He hates her, everything about her. Her hair, her eyes, her fucking muggle clothes! Now, during their 7th year at Hogwarts, he must not only deal with her but also learn to live with her. However, that may take the destruction of everything in his room... (HBP totally blows this into AU, but oh well!)

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Weeks had passed, and Christmas was fast approaching. Draco and Hermione hardly saw one another. Their common room was never used, the two always being in the separate rooms. True, they had Transfiguration together, however one always got out before the other, and they never spoke to the other.

Draco had already decided to stay at Hogwarts for the break, choosing not to see his mother and father. It wasn't as if either would really notice his absence, but he sent them an owl anyway. Far to often Draco would find himself dwelling on the Head Girl, wondering what she was doing- how she was doing. He toyed with the idea that he didn't see her smile to often anymore, or that he felt her eyes on him when he wasn't watching. But that, alas, was probably his loneliness and overactive imagination plaguing him.

Ha, loneliness. Draco had never believed before that he could truly be lonely. He'd never really had real friends, and it had never before fazed him. He'd always thought he could get along by himself, be happy alone. It was true, years ago. But now, every time he looked at the bushy haired brunette all he could dwell on was his loneliness. All he could think about was how he could have had her, held her to him every night.

Today everyone was to be heading home for the holidays. Draco frowned, knowing he was going to spending his holiday alone, without even Hermione's presence to comfort him. She'd probably go home to her parent's, or spend the holiday with the Weasel family. Draco rubbed his temples, putting such thoughts out of his head. Instead, he wandered out to the common room. Perhaps he'd catch a glimpse of her entering or leaving. He did indeed catch her, but more than a glimpse. She was gathering some parchment off of the shared coffee table, dressed warmly in her Gryffindor colors.

Her head snapped up to look at him, her face flushed from the cold that she had obviously just come in from. She set her face as she looked at him. Draco didn't have the heart to sneer at her. Instead, he stood in his doorway and looked at her.

Hermione had finished gathering her things, holding them to her chest. "I doubt it would interest you to know but I felt I should inform you." She began, stiffly, "I'll be staying at Hogwarts for the Holiday, while Ron and Harry will be at the Burrow." She nodded, as if telling herself that's all she needed to tell him.

"Why?" Draco asked before he could stop himself. Dammit. She stared at him, as she headed back for the door.

"I really don't see why that's your business, but to avoid confrontation I'll tell you. My parent's are at a dental convention in Nova Scotia that I don't particularly wish to attend, and I don't want to intrude at Ron's home." She said, before turning and exiting.

Draco stared after her. So she wasn't leaving him for the winter break. This was a blessing and a curse. He'd be able to look at her daily without those eyesores following after her. But that meant it was going to be harder to put forth the front of hating her, of not wanting anything to do with her. He'd have to avoid her, wouldn't he? But, could he really do that, what with this sickening trail of loneliness following him around? He was tempted to laugh, laugh at all of his sick troubles. Did normal people worry about the woman they loved finding out that they actually had feelings for them?

Fuck. There it was. Draco sat on the couch, leaning his head into his hand, miserable. So, it was true wasn't it? The thought had come out like nothing in the midst of self-loathing. Normal people didn't worry about the woman they loved finding out they actually had feelings for them. God, could his life just get any worse? So he loved her, did he? Most people, when they found out they had fallen in love (that disgusting feeling that made you just want to die when you were away from that person) were happy. But Draco, no. Oh God no. This was positively awful. What in the fuck was he going to do? God, what was he going to do!

Later that night he was in his room. He felt like breaking things again, this time out of pure frustration. Maybe he'd just loose consciousness again, and he could spend the whole holiday in the hospital wing. Then he wouldn't have to worry about Hermione, or these silly little feelings presenting themselves. Christmas was in a few days, wasn't it? He sighed idly, wondering if he ought to get her something. He knew he would, just because he wanted to. He just wouldn't put a name on it. Maybe he'd buy her something to wear, so when he saw her in it he could pretend she knew it was from him. He smirked a little at the thought. How would her friends like it if they saw some pretty trinket around Hermione's neck, wrist or finger from him? Ah, it was delectable, really. He sat up, brushing white blonde starks of hair from his face.

He looked into his mirror, studying his face. He frowned at his reflection, still unhinged at it. He didn't like the boy he was looking at. A boy would couldn't even take the woman he loved and care for he like a man should. But he wasn't a man yet, was he? At this point, he began to think he'd never become a 'man' in the psychological sense of the word. He was such a coward wasn't he?

He lay back on his bed, ignoring his awful reminders of his pathetic life showing through his face. Ultimately he decided he'd buy Hermione something. Something sweet and personal... and he'd just hide it in her things for her to find. She'd never know it was from him, of course. But at least... at least he could pretend.

Christmas morning. He'd successfully stayed away from her until then. They hadn't spoke since she'd told him she'd been staying for the Holidays. It was early now, about 6:30 in the morning. Draco wore a pair of long silk pants, dark green, with an open robe of the same color and fabric. In his hands he toyed with what he'd bought her from Hogsmeade the other day. His mother had always worn one, something from his grandmother before her and very treasured by Narcissa back when she was a real mother, and a real person. It was a thin bracelet, white gold with a lovely diamond every inch or so about the circle of it. It was pretty, even by Draco's standards, but was casual enough for everyday wear even by someone such as Hermione. Not to say that she didn't wear pretty things, she just wasn't the sort of girl to flaunt expensive jewelry and other such assortments.

He set the thing back in its velvet case, intending to go put it on Hermione's pile of things before she awoke. He got up, exiting his door quite silently, only to nearly careen into Hermione herself, about to knock on his door.

She stared at him, her face quite flushed. Obviously she was going to knock once, and run off, convincing herself he was asleep still. Slight change in plans for both parties.

Draco stared down at her, forgetting the malice or hate that he was supposed to conjure as he looked at her petite form. She wore a cotton nightshirt, short, small and pink. A pair of short shorts, matching, completed her onsomble.

"I... I..." She swallowed, gathering her bearings and placing shock elsewhere, "I know we're not... friends, but I got you something for... for Christmas." She whispered quietly. He now noticed she held something in her hands. It was wrapped in enchanted yellow paper with silently quacking ducks on it. How very Hermione-esqe.

Draco tucked a lock of hair behind his ear. Well, he just ought to give it to her, shouldn't it? Damn her friends and all that bull shit. A little gift wasn't going to get either of them killed or maimed, so what the fuck. He'd do it. Instead of speaking, he simply pulled the velvet box from behind him.

Hermione stared at it, and then they exchanged gifts. Again, he was silent as he nudged her towards the couches so they could open their things comfortably. He was trying to be civil without being sweet. It wasn't looking to good... she was going to open that present and... and what? What was she going to do? He hadn't taken that to thought. She could do a variety of things. Kiss him, hit him, scream at him, love him, hate him... But the other question was, what on Earth had she gotten him? He hadn't treated her very well the past weeks... in fact most of the time he treated her as if she didn't exist.

"I'll... save yours for last." She said, setting the box down. He could tell she had wanted to tear into it, but trying to save face she set it aside for now. He nodded, setting Hermione's present for him in his lap. He glanced at his small stack of gifts. So, his parents had remembered him, at least somewhat. It was nothing compared what he usually got, but he didn't care. He got a few things from his former dorm mates, at least the one who didn't hate him. Some candies, nice cologne from Pansy, a few new shirts and sweaters from mother. He ignored it, not even wanting to deal with the things as he watched Hermione open her things.

He watched her smile at every present she opened. One from Potter, Weasly and his family, her parents and other Gryffindors. Her stack far exceeded his own, and it took her nearly fifteen minutes to open it all. At least it was simply Draco's gift waiting to be opened. She picked it up, setting it in her lap. Then, she looked over at him, and spoke again.

"You first." She was blunt, so he decided not to argue. He looked down at the little gift, and the ducks. Again he tried to think of anything she would get him. He tore the paper of with care, not wanting to rip the little ducks. He slid out the gift, and noticed the softness. Now, bare of it's wrapper laid a scarf and hat. Both were handmade, soft and just a little fuzzy. They were both a very dark green, and when the light hit it, the fabric seemed to reflect flecks of silver throughout. The craftsmanship was excellent, and to make both must have taken... weeks.

He looked up at his reddened face, "Did you...?" He asked. She nodded, indicating that she had, in fact made them. Obviously they'd been made with him in mind as the receiver of the gifts. Even through his rough treatment she'd still worked on these gifts, putting her heart into the little trinkets.

"Thank you... Hermione." He said quietly, running his fingers over and over again over the soft fabric, unable to tear his eyes off of it now. "Open yours." He said quietly.

She looked down at the box in her hand, and with shaking fingers opened it. The diamonds sparkled at her and she stared at the thin little bracelet. "F-for me?" She asked, as if he could have possibly put the wrong thing in the little velvet box. She took the delicate bracelet from its confines to show him.

Draco merely nodded in response. She stared at it, and it twinkled at her. Perhaps no one had ever given her such a fine gift? He half expected it to be thrown in his face. Instead however, she undid the little clasp, and put it about her left hand. But her fingers were trembling to badly to rehook the clasp. Draco took her wrist in his hand, flicking the clasp closed with ease, his hands lingering on his skin for a bit longer than they should have. He released her.

Hermione stared at him, her eyes showing those millions of emotions. He could tell she wanted to ask him questions, a lot of questions. That was all right. Today she'd get her answers, she'd understand and they would part their ways. Hermione wasn't the brightest witch of her age for nothing. She'd realize the truth, why things were how they were.

"Why do you do what you do?" She asked quietly, deciding it was the best way to start this. Draco sighed, his hands toying with the fabric in his lap.

"It's all I know how to do. Push people away." He muttered. He glanced at her, and saw his answer wasn't being accepted. He shook his head, looking back down at his new scarf and hat instead of at her. "You don't need to fret over me so, I can take care of myself."

"Obviously not, since you wound up in such a heap so few weeks ago." She said, pointing out a good fact. He frowned; this wasn't going to be simple.

"I made... mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. My mistakes however, as I'm sure you tend to notice a trend with them, all tend to be rather large." He said sourly. Hermione was in front of him in an instant, kneeling at his feet and a hand on each knee. He looked at her face now, unable to keep his eyes from her. She looked so innocent sitting there between his legs, staring up at him as if he were the only man in the world. How true he wished that was at the moment.

"Yes, everyone makes mistakes. But there is no need to keep making them. Shouldn't you learn from them?" She asked. He stared down at her, pain in his eyes that couldn't be masked. "Shouldn't you try and do what's right?"

"I am trying to do what's right. I'm trying... so hard that it hurts me." He said, clutching at his heart now, "It hurts me, to look at you everyday, Hermione, and know I have to stay away from you. And I do have to stay away from you." He said, watching her chocolate brown eyes.

"Why? Why can't you just ask me what I want, doesn't that matter in the 'right or wrong' factor?" She asked him formidably. She knew how to argue her point, he could give her that.

"It doesn't matter, because I know what's right. What's right is not tying you to me and my family. What's right it not causing a rift between you and those little dimwits you adore so much. What's right is letting you be happy." He said, his voice hardly more than a whisper. Hermione took his face into one of her warm hands. His skin was cold, and her hand felt comfortable and soft against it.

"I know what makes me happy, and you're only just learning. Ron and Harry, they have been my friends for years now. They know about me and about my heart. They can forgive whatever injustice I do by tying myself to you. You're family Draco, I don't want them. I don't care about either of them; they aren't the ones that stood up for... for everyone. They didn't sacrifice like you, Draco. They didn't see the wrongs they were committing. They didn't see the beauty in life like you saw..."

He listened to her speak. Why, why did she make things so hard? Why did she come up with all of this, all of these reasons? He could hardly keep himself from just grabbing her up.

"You don't want me and my problems." Draco said bluntly, moving to stand up, his new things clutched in his hands, letting her fingers slip from his face. Hermione bolted up to meet him.

"You don't know what I want! I haven't told you!" She scolded him, pointing a finger in his face. It reminded him so of their younger years, of when she was still just a pretty little know it all.

"It doesn't matter. Don't make things so.. so difficult!" He said, his voice rising somewhat. Hermione glared at him, as if he were being some insufferable child that hadn't the capacity to listen to reason.

"They aren't difficult, you're just making them that way!" She called back. He shook his head, his fingers digging into the fabric as he restrained himself from yelling.

"What would people say? What would they think? You think now, Hermione! Do you really want my reputation to follow you for the rest of your life? I can't make you happy, I'm so fucked up I don't even know what I'm doing here! Voldemort should have killed me, I never should have even made it out of that battle, that's why my... my everything is so messed up!" He said, his voice bordering yelling. She glared at him heatedly.

"I don't care about any of it, what people think or say, nor have I ever! If I did I wouldn't have befriended Harry or Ron, or anyone else for that matter! And don't tell me you can't make me happy, Draco Malfoy, because you have. You know how to, I know you do. Your family's reputation isn't my problem, or yours any longer. You've proved yourself in the eye's of everyone whether they want to believe it or not! But, I believe it, Draco. I believe it, and that's what matters!" Hermione yelled at him, stomping a bare foot on the floor.

He couldn't fight with her any longer; he just didn't have it in him to do it. His whole life had just drained his energy. Pretending to be what he wasn't for the last few weeks were exhausting. He set himself back on the couch, burying his face in the things she'd made for him. They smelled like her, sweet, like vanilla. She again dropped before him, taking his head and upper body in her arms and hugging him tightly to her.

"Draco please give... give things a chance." She murmured into his ear as he shook his head. "Please just let me... let me take care of you. I want to make sure you are happy, that things are how you want them... that you're never lonely again." He stopped shaking his head. The tears were soaking through the little garments, and his body shook just a bit.

God, the loneliness he felt when she wasn't near him. It was unbearable. As she held him in her arms he just felt as if a weight had been lifted, as if he just might be all right.

He pulled his face from the little hand-mades and looked at her. She smiled faintly, her own eyes brimming with tears as she wiped his away, letting her hand rest against his face.

"I'm not a good person. I'm... I'm awful." He said, "I don't deserve you, and I won't ever deserve you." He whispered. She shook her head.

"It's I who will never deserve you." He laughed half-heartedly at her comment. Hermione the pure and innocent not deserve him? He could have laughed himself silly if he had the stamina.

"Don't lie to me to make me feel better." He murmured. Hermione stroked his cheek, smiling at him.
"But I'm not lying. Draco you're... you're perfect. You're beautiful, intelligent... kind and soft hearted when it matters. I never noticed before he fell. But after, I began to think about things. You truly aren't as horrific as you tried to be... and I can see it. In your eyes, Draco. I can see that you care... about me." She said, face pinking lightly.

"I don't just care about you, Hermione," He whispered, staring into her eyes now, "I love you." The words were out. Those three little pathetic words that could mean so much to anyone, and did. Hermione's tears fell as she smiled at him,

"See, that wasn't so hard to say, now was it?" She asked, brushing the droplets quickly from her face. But she was right, it was so difficult. He felt better, also. He felt stronger, as if something he did could matter again. His fears were beginning to fade away, be that good or bad in the long run. He pushed the billion questions about how this could possibly work out of his mind.

"I'm going to warn you Hermione... I'm cranky in the evening. I snore, and take all the bed sheets. I can't hardly make myself a bowl of cereal in the morning, much less cook and I hate to be doing yard work or anything of that sort." Hermione laughed, throwing her arms about him again.

"I'm always cheerful, I am a heavy sleeper and often don't like the blankets anyway. My mother taught me eons ago how to make some simply scrumptious meals, and I never wanted a big yard anyway." Draco chuckled into her shoulder; finally releasing the things she'd given him and wrapping his arms around her. He pulled her into his lap and away from the floor, snuggling his head into her chest as she stroked his hair.

"Don't ever worry about a thing that'll happen. We'll make it through the tough times with nary a scratch just you watch and see. I'll prove to you that I am not another one of your mistakes, and I'll keep you from making anymore." She said, tucking his hair behind his ear.

"You could never be a mistake, Hermione." He murmured into her cotton shirt, closing his eyes and feeling, for once, comfortable and complete.

She kissed the top of his head, and he moved to look up at her. She smiled down at him, her hair dripping down on either side of her face in twisted little curls. He closed his eyes again, awaiting the feel of her lips against his.

Dipping her head down to meet his, she stopped just before him. He could feel her breath tickle his cheeks, teasing him. "Draco," She began, bringing a hand to his face, stroking his lips wit her thumb for a second, "I love you too." And with a kiss, their contract was binding.

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A/N: AHH, there, it happened. :D haha. It's a happy day, Christmas, no? –laughs- I like this chapter, but did it go as smoothly as I think it did? I jumped more than I often do, but I think it was conveyed pretty easily. Think I jumped into the Dramione bit to quick? Perhaps Draco folded to soon? O.o! hmm... I think it was sweet, though. ;.; Oh well, I suppose! The final installment will be soon, I am on a roll. :D

Posted in ONE DAY! How cool and I dammit :D! (btw, thank you for ALL your comments! You guys... have just no idea how much you inspire me, how much you make my day shine. I love to read them before I go to work to know that there are people SOMEWHERE who love me. :D)

Update: spelling and grammar? CHECK!