Li's Feelings for Sakura

"Sakura, I love you. No I can't say that. How about…um…I know we haven't known each other for a long time, but I feel some sort of connection between us. No, I don't want her to think that I watch Days of Our Lives or something." I stared blankly at the mirror in my room. Why was I having so much trouble with telling Sakura my true feelings? I fell backwards on my bed and began to think about something else. No matter how hard I tried, she wouldn't get out of my mind. Every thing I thought about was connected to her somehow.

"Sakura, I love you." Raged swelled through me as I heard that taunting voice. "Sakura, I just want to kiss you all day and night." Why couldn't she be normal like every other cousin in the world, but no, my cousin had the nerve to use my weakness against me. "Get out of here now!" I yelled at her. I could feel my face burning red with fury. All she did was laugh even though she could clearly see that I found nothing funny. "You're so cute when you get mad. I am soooo happy my parents let my come to Reedington for the week." I noticed she wasn't going to leave so I had too. I put on my coat and left, completely ignoring the fact that was raining cats and dogs.

I walked down the street towards Reedington Elementary. There were couples everywhere I looked. I even saw Chelsea and Zachary arguing as usual. "Hey Li, going to Sakura's house?" they asked. At the mere mention of her name, I began to walk faster completely ignoring them, but they had a point. Was I really just going to Reedington Elementary or was I just simply trying to go visit Sakura? I thought about apologizing to Chelsea and Zachary, but I knew they were probably gone by now. Slowly, I continued to walk still questioning where I was heading to.

This teenage couple walked past me. They seemed to enjoy what love had to offer. When they passed, I began to bang my head against the wall. I was so torn up inside that I wanted to feel the blood trickle between my fingers. I wanted to drown in my tears. Why was I acting like this? I felt ridiculous so I began to laugh, but the laughter couldn't cover up my anger and confusion.

I decided to just go to the pond; at least there I could finally relax. The seat I took was previously occupied by some couple (I saw them get up and leave) which made me just want to stand. I told myself I was being too silly, so I just began to gaze at the beauty of the pond. (I eventually took the seat) The white ducks mingling with the brown ones. The raindrops that created ripples on the pond's surface. Was this nature's way of flirting or was it nature's way of tormenting me even more? I guess worst things could happen because…

"Li, how are you. I was just heading to Tory's house, I'm sure Sakura will be glad to see you." Why did Julian have to mention her name? I got up, red in the face with fury once more. I was about to punch him in the face, but something held me back. I began to have these feelings all over again. Was this love? If I did love Julian, that would explain a lot. Why I couldn't tell Sakura I loved her and why I was so shy in front of Julian. Thinking of Julian made me blush brighter than the rose colored sweater I had on. I quickly looked down hoping Julian wouldn't notice.

We walked in silence along the way. There were times where I wanted to just get close on Julian and times when I wished Julian was actually Sakura. There was no way someone in the world was more confused than me. I decided to take a risk and stop Julian.

"Um… can I tell you something?"

"Sure, go on."

"Well, for some t-t-t-time now I-I-I had these feelings.

"Um, okay?"

"Well what I-I-I-I am trying to s-s-say is…"

"Yes."

"Julian, I-I-I, l-l-lo…"

"You what?"

"I LOVE YOU!"

I couldn't believe I just said that. I began to run, but Julian had caught me on the shoulder. I tried no to stare him in the eyes, but his eyes were like magnets attracting to mine. "Oh, are you just practicing for Sakura?" he asked. I nodded assuringly because I didn't think I could bring myself to lie.

It was at that moment that it started to rain harder. Was this god's way of punishing me for lying? I began to stroll behind Julian with my head down. His eyes, I could feel them trying to penetrate my mind's barrier to see what I was thinking. Why did I do that? No normal person yells something like that out loud. My mother always told me you can learn something for every action you take, so what did I learn from this? Did this prove that I really loved Julian, or did it prove that I have no common sense what so ever?

When I looked across the street, I saw a brown haired girl talking to some other girl. Her laugh, no, it couldn't be Sakura. What we she be doing out in the rain, but I would recognize that laugh anywhere. Julian must have noticed because he came over to me and tapped me on the shoulder. "Um, Li, are you okay? What are you staring at anyway?" It was like I just woke up from a dream, I rubbed my eyes and when I looked across the street, no one was there. Had it all been a figment of my imagination? This got me thinking again, did I love Sakura? Is that why she appeared everywhere I went? I was more confused than before if that was even possible. I took a seat on the wall completely ignoring the fact that Julian was watching me. I wanted to cry. Crying seemed to solve everything lately. The only thing that stopped me was Julian. I didn't want him to think I was, well you know…I felt a few tears drop, one after the other. Julian must have noticed because he came over and hugged me. There it was that feeling of safety and security. I embraced that moment like it was my last. I felt so safe with him, like nothing could hurt me now.