"On the Subject of Inuyasha Pairings"
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Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. If I did own it, the world would be a very, very scary place to live. Later in the story, there is a reference to a "butt breeze." I don't own that, either. It belongs to Kuro of Ear-Tweak. I, erm, borrowed it. Without permission. o.o;
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Konnichi wa yo! This is just random, meant to be corny. Though, do tell me if you happen to like it. Or, if you don't like it…tell me why. :only hungry for reviews: At the ending, I think I will put a little glossary of sorts for unfamiliar little Japanese phrases. That is, if I remember to. ):3
Other than that, enjoy.
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Kagome- Nee, Inuyasha…
Inuyasha- Aa?
Kagome- What if I told you I loved Kouga-kun?
Inuyasha- …Aa!
Kagome- What if I told you I loved Kouga-kun?
Inuyasha- But you don't, right?
Kagome- I don't know. Just answer my question.
Inuyasha- Would you love me instead if I killed him?
Kagome- …
Inuyasha- Nani?
Kagome- …Is that even a question!
Inuyasha- Isn't there a question mark!
Kagome- Then your answer is…
Inuyasha- Aa?..
Kagome- Osuwari.
Inuyasha- Wtf!
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:insert recovery time and a war:
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Kagome- Nee, Inuyasha…
Inuyasha- Aa?
Kagome- What if I said I was in love with your brother?
Inuyasha- You mean Sesshoumaru?
Kagome- Do you have another brother?..
Inuyasha- But didn't we just talk about this?
Kagome- Ee. Just answer.
Inuyasha- Who would be stupid enough to love that heartless B45T4R)?
Kagome- Haven't you ever seen that special, "The Woman Who Loved Sesshoumaru?"
Inuyasha- With the way he looks, it could've been, "The Man Who Loved Sesshoumaru."
Kagome- …
Inuyasha- ..?
Kagome- Only you would know.
Inuyasha- Well, it's kind of hard to miss how pretty he is when he gets right in your face!
Kagome- Tch. I knew it.
Inuyasha- Knew what?
Kagome- Nothing. Nevermind.
Inuyasha- Knew what?
Kagome- Osuwari.
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:insert recovery time and excessive bloodflow:
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Inuyasha- Kagura loved him.
Kagome- Well, duh. She stalked him like there was no tomorrow.
Inuyasha- Maybe she thought she wasn't going to have a tomorrow.
Kagome- And he is very pretty…
Inuyasha- …
Kagome- …
Inuyasha- …
Kagome- …
Inuyasha- …I'm not gay, y'know!
Kagome- I didn't say you were!
Inuyasha- Well, you implied it!
Kagome- I did not!
Inuyasha- Yes, you did!
Kagome- No, I didn't!
Inuyasha- You did!
Kagome- Did not!
Inuyasha- Did so!
Kagome- Did not!
Inuyasha- Did so!
Kagome- Osuwari!
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:insert a rock:
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Inuyasha- So…
Kagome- Nani?
Inuyasha- Do you think Sesshoumaru…
Kagome- ?
Inuyasha- …loves Rin?
Kagome- I dunno. Why do you ask?
Inuyasha- Would that make him a…pedophile if he did?
Kagome- Well, yeah… He's two hundred something, and she's under ten…:Author's Note- I'm totally guessing Rin's age.:
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:insert shudder:
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Inuyasha- Oh my god, he doesn't love her like that, right!
Kagome- How would I know!
Inuyasha- I don't know!
Kagome- Well, maybe you should ask him!
Inuyasha- Have a perfectly docile conversation…with Sesshoumaru?
Kagome- I doubt you've ever had a docile conversation in your life.
Inuyasha- I've had plenty, thanks!
Kagome- Sesshoumaru isn't all that bad, you know. Besides, you always start the fight.
Inuyasha- Not every time. -.-
Kagome- And he's fluffy. :big grin:
Inuyasha- …
Kagome- Something tells me that keeping Tessaiga out of his face would help just a little…
Inuyasha- But he's so fast that I-
Kagome- Come on.
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:insert great, lengthy journey:
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Sesshoumaru- …
Kagome- Ano…konnichi wa.
Sesshoumaru- …
Inuyasha- …
Rin- Konnichi wa!
Jaken- …
Inuyasha- …
Sesshoumaru- …
Inuyasha- …
Sesshoumaru- …
Inuyasha- …
Sesshoumaru- …
Inuyasha- …
Sesshoumaru- …
Inuyasha- …Ano…
Sesshoumaru- ..?
Inuyasha- …Yoo.
Sesshoumaru- ……………
Inuyasha- So, um…
Sesshoumaru- ……?
Inuyasha- Sesshoumaru, are you a pedophile?
Sesshoumaru- …………………………………………
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:insert the wind:
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Inuyasha- Was that just…a butt breeze!
Kagome- Isn't…Kagura the free wind?
Sesshoumaru- …Hai. -.-;
Inuyasha- So she still stalks you!
Sesshoumaru- Damare.
Kagome- I think we should leave…
Inuyasha- Aa…
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:insert a long, long journey, longer than the last for precautions against random butt breezes:
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Kagome- Well, now we know that Sesshoumaru isn't a pedophile…
Inuyasha- They always did say he was more of a father figure, anyway…
Kagome- Yeah…
Inuyasha- 6.6;
Kagome- 9.9;
Inuyasha- 9.9;
Kagome- 6.6;
Inuyasha- 6.9;
Kagome- O.o;
Inuyasha- So she gropes him?
Kagome- Osuwari.
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Bankotsu- I love my Banryuu.
Jakotsu- I love Inuyasha.
Bankotsu- I love blood.
Jakotsu- I love Inuyasha.
Bankotsu- I love killing people.
Jakotsu- I love Inuyasha.
Bankotsu- I love killing youkai.
Jakotsu- I love Inuyasha.
Bankotsu- I love blood.
Jakotsu- I love Inuyasha.
Bankotsu- I love you, Jakotsu.
Jakotsu- I love Inuyasha.
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Naraku- Notice how my love life is totally neglected in this series.
Kanna- As Onigumo you loved Kikyou.
Naraku- That doesn't count.
Kanna- Oh.
Naraku- Why can't I have a love life!
Sesshoumaru- Because no one likes you and your boday (yes, bodAy) is ew.
Naraku- You shouldn't be one to speak, girly man.
Sesshoumaru- You don't have much room yourself to be talking about girly men, hanyou.
Naraku- How did you get in here, anyway?
Sesshoumaru- You forgot to put up your barrier today.
Naraku- Well, if you're wanting to kill me, you'll be disappointed.
Sesshoumaru- ..?
Naraku- My heart's run off.
Kanna- I wonder…could that be the reason for his lack of a love life?
Naraku- …
Sesshoumaru- …
Kanna- Apparently I said that out loud.
Inuyasha- If a heart is what keeps someone alive…does that mean my brother runs on batteries?
Sesshoumaru- …I prefer Duracell.
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Kagome- Nee, Inuyasha…
Inuyasha- Aa?
Kagome- Notice how many guys follow me and think I'm pretty, and realize that I could dump you and day.
Inuyasha- What brought this on?
Kagome- Do you love me?
Inuyasha- Nani?
Kagome- Do you love me?
Inuyasha- Kagome (kindly note my using your name), you know that my heart has unconditional, bottomless love for you and Kikyou.
Kagome- … -.-
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:insert murder:
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Kouga- Hakkaku, Ginta, do you think I chase the impossible?
Ginta- We think you're impossible to chase, if that counts.
Hakkaku- Totally. -.-
Kouga- … I meant Kagome.
Hakkaku- Oh, I never knew she ran that fast.
Kouga- Oh my god…nevermind…
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Sango- :smile:
Miroku- :smile:
Sango- :smile:
Miroku- :smile:
Sango- O.o!
Miroku- :wider smile:
Sango- :total P1554T10N:
Miroku- o.e;
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The End
Aa- a roughish way to say yes
Nani- what
Ee- yet another way to say yes
Hai- wouldn't you know it, this also means yes
Damare- this means shut up / be quiet
Nee- say / hey; this is used to grab attention
Youkai- demon(s)
Hanyou- half demon
Yoo (or You)- almost like saying yo…just in Japanese
Well, now that you have read…you desire to review, right? Right? Right.