Why You Don't Let OCs Have A Camera
Chapter 2: Of Annoying Blonde Thieves and Bathing Swordmasters
A/N: Hullo there! And welcome to the second installment of chaos. This is chapter 2 of my story. Disclaimer?
Larx: Lindsay Suzanne does not own Fire Emblem, Nintendo does. But all characters featured or mentioned are either hers of her friend, Chibi's.
"Hello? Hello? Is this thing on?" the nomadic trooper said, tapping the lens with his finger repetitively. The myrmidon looked through the lens and nodded to Talirei.
"Shooting, Talirei!"
"Hello, and welcome to part two of our-"
"Wait! The red light's blinking. Does that mean-"
Cut to black.
"I thought you charged the battery last night, Klaei!"
"You know very well I was preoccupied!"
"You mean," said a thief, sitting cross-legged on a log that substituted as a couch in the camp until further modernizations could be made for their comfort, "that you two were so wrapped up in each other that you neglected to remember the camera... We all know what you do at night, you're not at all quiet about it."
Both of them blushed... And then they realized that the camera, sitting on a rock, was turned on them, and blushed darker, then Klaei looked to the thief, livid.
"You knew that camera was on... Didn't you?" the voice was practically a growl, showing how angry the myrmidon truly was at the blonde-haired thief, who tried to look innocent, but failed, most likely, on purpose.
"Me? Why, of course not."
"Why you little-"
The nomadic trooper had to grab hold of the myrmidon to keep him from attacking the thief who, quickly and wisely, fled into the nearby forest. After the target- I mean, thief- was out of sight, and the myrmidon was not as rabid as he was before, and he took the camera, and started filming once again.
"Hello again! It's me, Talirei," our favorite nomadic trooper host said, smiling falsely at the camera once again, half-waving and trying not to seem angered. "And that thief you just saw was Larx, our resident thief..."
"Who is going to die soon," came the voice of the myrmidon behind the camera, before he was silenced by one of Talirei's trademark 'shut-your-mouth-this-second-or-I-will-shoot-you' glares, which quickly melted back into one of his fake smiled when he looked back at the camera.
"Today, there's someone we've wanted to get on film for a long time on our list to hunt down, and he's number one. He's a swordmaster, named Kana. And we got a tip from one of our nutcases that he was headed towards the nearby waterfall pond this morning, he likes to go there to meditate, and he's been rather perturbed about the whole idea of being on camera. Let's go!"
Cut to black.
Cut to scene of Talirei crouching down behind a tree. He glanced back at the camera, pressing his finger to his lips, telling the myrmidon behind the camera to be absolutely silent. The camera then turned to the tall waterfall that lead to a small pool, first noticing the blue clothing (and sword, as well,) on the ground, then the sword master, waist high in the water, thoroughly soaked, with water dripping off his shoulders and down his back. Talirei couldn't help staring, making our camera-myrmidon a little annoyed, but neither said anything.
The swordmaster didn't notice. He was wringing a little of the water out of his dark blue hair, which was extremely long, and trailed down into the water, revealing his pale-skinned back, not exactly muscular, but by no means scrawny. There was a pause, and then the swordmaster looked over his shoulder, revealing the numerous scars on his face, but also sharp, blue eyes.
The camera-myrmidon and our favorite host began slowly creeping back, until the swordmaster looked away, and they ran all the way back to camp.
"Whoo!" Talirei said, smiling. "We got away! That was definitely a rarity... Well, now we're safe.."
"Oh," said a hoarse voice from behind them, making Talirei look rather frightened, "are you?"
Shot of the swordmaster, dressed, now, standing behind the nomadic trooper, his sword resting against Talirei's throat.
"Damn, he's fast," commented the camera-myrmidon.
Cut to black.
Cut to Damien, the mercenary, as host, standing in front of the camera, smirking rather obviously. The thief, Larx, is the current camera-man.
"Hello, and welcome to 'Why Idiots Don't Get Cameras'. These are two oh so poor, pitiful idiots that missed the first lesson, Talirei and Klaei."
The camera turned to two cots, revealing that they're inside a tent, and on those two cots, are a rather banged-and-bruised nomadic trooper, and a myrmidon looking like he was run over by a herd of huge horses, which were all overweight Clydesdales. The latter was unconscious at the moment, and the nomadic trooper was sitting semi-upright, glaring.
"Shut up, Damien, and get that damn camera off me."
"Now, now, Talirei, calm down. It's all in good fun... Don't we need to warn our audiences? Don't want a repeat performance, do we?"
"Shut up."
With that, and a rude gesture involving the nomadic trooper's middle finger (even though it was bandaged and bleeding), filled the camera lens, and then the nomadic trooper turned away.
"Well, as you can see, it's better not to annoy bathing swordmasters, you end up like these two. Don't repeat their mistakes."
Cut to black.
A/N: Much longer, and hopefully funnier. Review, please?