disclaimer: All recognizable characters are owned by Marvel, except Jenny who is MINE! (though I have been known to share if you ask nicely.) I expect to make no money off this fic. Dammit.

Human and the Demon
by Dizi

Chapter 5

After the afternoon training session, Kurt whistled his way through the locker room door and couldn't stop smiling. Yesterday had been the most fun he'd had in a long time. Of course, that was what he had said for the last six weeks with Jenny after every date, but yesterday had been different. They had gone to the circus. Jenny had never been to one and wanted Kurt to explain everything, which he did in great detail. She had been fascinated by the little things that most wouldn't care about. She might have been slightly influenced by his enthusiam, but even so she had been caught up very quickly.

It had been a great day shared with someone he'd come to care about, though how deeply he wasn't sure yet. The more time he spent with Jenny the more he wanted to, and he seemed to be with her more than the team. He'd even developed a taste for Moonpies, especially when he kissed her right after 'snack time'. There was something to be said about the taste of chocolate, marshmallow, and Jenny all together.

He'd been taking it slow, wanting to build a strong foundation for their relationship. Not to mention, he had come to understand the front Jenny put up. She was very shy underneath her up-front manner. He was torn between her two sides, the blushing young woman and the strong carefree barmaid, but he was drawn to the whole woman.

"Well, it's been good seeing you again, stranger." Kitty teased from behind him. "I guess Jenny's responsible for the constant good mood and the absences? We're going to have to get onto her for stealing you away so much."

Still smiling, Kurt told her about the outing to the circus, "... and I haf been valking her home from vork. She does not like ze image-inducer so ve are limited in vhat ve can do, but she is off today and I am meeting her later."

"I know I'm going to sound like Jubilee, but I am so happy for you both!" Kitty gushed. "Both of you have been so lonely. From what I've been told about Jenny, she's had a hard life."

Kurt nodded agreement, thinking of the circumstances of Jenny's friends death and her having been homeless. Her life had been hard and he understood it had affected her in many ways.

"She's suffered so much," Kitty continued, "and when I heard about her back, I just couldn't believe what was done to her."

Freezing, Kurt's mind went blank. 'There was something wrong with Jenny?' he thought 'She seemed fine last night.'

"... to think they never caught them. Ororo said they barely looked for them." Kitty went on. "Not to get too personal, but how bad is it? I think 'Ro's still upset about the pictures the police had."

It took him a full minute to find his voice, before he was able to force out, "I vill see to you later, Katzchen. I must speak vith Logan."

Smile gone, Kurt immediately went in search of his long time friend. He found Logan in the garage with Remy, both men about to leave for one of their seedier hangouts. Whether they were actually going to the same location was irrelevant. He was sure one or both of them would have the answers he was seeking.

"Ve need to talk." he said stiffly, his accent became thick with the strength of his emotions. "Vas ist vrong vith Jenny?"

Logan growled. "Somethin' happen?"

"Zat ist vhat I vant to know. Kitty seemed to zink zere vast somezing vrong vith Jenny, zat she hast been attacked." His voice shook. "You vill tell me, now. Vas ist vrong vith Jenny?"

Logan cursed loudly, knowing no matter which way the conversation went from here he wouldn't like it. "Which time?" he asked, not sure what Kitty had said.

Kurt's eyes narrowed at him and he hissed before letting out a sting of German that both men were shocked at coming from the normally even-tempered Kurt. Though they were unsure of the meaning of the outburst, the intent behind the words was obvious. After some deep breaths he was able to get out, "Katerine asked about Jenny's back."

Logan and Remy exchanged guarded looks. Obviously, the couple had not gotten far physically, or the question would not have been brought to them.

"He weren't here an' she ain't told him." Logan growled.

"Maybe Jenny don' wan' him to know?" Remy suggested, eyeing Kurt warily having never seen him like this.

"Vhat?" Kurt demanded, clenching his fists, and forcing himself to remain calm and wait for the answers.

Logan ground out pointedly, "They keep on the way they have he's gonna find out the hard way, an' that ain't right."

"But if Jenny don' wan' to tell, we don' have de right, homme." Remy said quietly.

"Hell." Logan ran a hand through his hair, trying to think of a way to tell Kurt but not betray Jenny's trust. "Maybe call her an' ask?"

Cocking his head to the side, Remy shrugged, "He you frien', you tell him 'bout de chere. Remy, he needs a drink."

"Huh. Runnin' away, Gumbo?" Logan glared at him.

"Remy don' t'ink Kurt gon' like how Remy be dere for her." He looked Kurt in the eyes. "If you don' take de news good, Remy be dere again. Dat what Remy do for Jenny." he warned.

"Vas ist vrong vith Jenny!" Kurt exploded, tired of waiting for answers they weren't giving. Couldn't they see he needed to know?

"Not'ing new, homme," Remy shook his head sadly, "not'ing new." He climbed on his motorcycle and roared out of the garage before Kurt demand a better answer.

"C'mon, we'll go call Jenny." Logan sighed, when Kurt rounded on him.

Kurt followed Logan to his room and watched impatiently as he picked up a battered phone and called the woman he suddenly realized he was in love with yet knew less about than the rest of the mansion. He tried to listen to the low conversation but could only hear the rage and hurt ringing in his ears unable to believe such things had been kept from him - and he still didn't know what those things even were.

Slowly, Logan hung up the phone and sighed. "She thought we woulda already told ya, said it weren't a secret since ever'body here knows. Jenny asked me ta tell ya everything." He wasn't sure what everything meant. Was it everything everyone else knew, everything a select few in the mansion knew, or everything he knew?

"Just tell me, mein fruend." Kurt begged as calmly as he could.

Taking a deep breath and wishing with everything inside that he wasn't the one to have to tell the story, Logan started explaining Jenny's history, deciding to keep back what Jenny hadn't actually told anyone.

Knowing about Jenny's friend's death and hearing the details were two different things, and Kurt's heart ached for her, as did hearing of her loneliness at school and her parents abandonment. Then Logan's anger started coloring his words as he explained the torture and rape Jenny had suffered when she was fourteen, and went on to the events of the previous year. Horrified by what had been done to her, Kurt just stared at him and felt rage that such a thing could have happened to anyone, unable to fully grasp that it was done to his Jenny. By the time Logan finished, Kurt's mind was numb and his eyes were bleak. Such terrifying events had happened to Jenny, his Jenny, and he hadn't known, had no idea.

But there was one thought that he could not get out of his mind and he whispered, "Vhy didn't she tell me?"

Not sure how to explain, Logan grunted, "She probably didn't think 'bout it. Jenny hides her scars automatically an' ain't gonna go around showin' 'em off, but she ain't ashamed of 'em no more. She wasn't keepin' it from ya, she thought ya knew, thought we'd told ya. An' how was she supposed ta tell ya? When would be the time fer a gal ta tell her boyfriend 'bout this? Ya both seemed happy, when was she supposed ta bring it up? I don't think ya know how different she is now. Yer the first man Jenny's ever been interested in an' ya don't know how big a thing that is."

Kurt nodded but still had a bleak expression on his face. He felt Jenny should have told him herself, trusted him, and he took it as a lack of faith in him.

Seeing the other man's reaction, Logan knew he needed to force his mind in another direction. Kurt needed to understand the full depth of what was done to Jenny for him to be able to let her know her appearance didn't bother him. He needed to understand fully how big it was that Jenny could feel like a woman with him instead of at most a friend. Kurt needed to be shocked past his own feelings.

Thinking quickly, he made a decision to do something he would do for no one else, and wouldn't now if it wasn't to help Jenny in a round about way. Besides, if Kurt felt as strongly about her as Logan thought he did, then he had a right. He went to his closet and came out with his travel bag. "I got something fer ya ta see, but ya cain't tell anyone that I got this. Especially Jenny. She thinks they're all gone. Maybe if ya see, you'll understand better."

Reaching into the bag, Logan pulled out an envelope and took out a photograph. His face was hard as stone when he looked at it before handing it to Kurt.

Kurt's stomach clenched and he felt so sick at the sight he was almost physically ill. Jenny, his beautiful Jenny, was crying and surrounded by blood. He'd known she was special since he'd first met her but now he understood why everyone said she was strong when even she admitted to being a pushover. Now he understood Logan's words months ago at Jenny's house, "She's suffered fer her friendship with mutants... Jenny's stronger'n she looks. She's had ta be." His mind flooded with images from the last couple months and he had trouble reconciling the woman he knew with the child in the picture...

the look on her face the first time he had kissed her hand... her joyful expression while helping the homeless...
the utter agony on her face...
snipping the singed fur off Hank's back after an experiment gone bad... staring at her as she slept in the boat when they were on the lake...
the frozen scream he could almost hear...
teaching her to ice-skate when Bobby prematurely froze the lake for the afternoon... holding her hand as he walked her home from work...
blood splattered on her arms and dripping down her back...
the delight on her face as she walked in to a surprise romantic dinner and how beautiful she was in candlelight... how she hesitated at their first kiss but immediately responded...
how--

Dimly he heard Logan say, "Now, ya understand why she don't talk 'bout it. Hell, I don't like ta talk 'bout it."

"Ja, I understand." Kurt whispered. Suddenly, the need to know she was alright was overwhelming and he surged to his feet. "I haf to see her."

Logan plucked the picture from his hand and put it away. He looked at Kurt closely, and seeing the desperation in his eyes, he knew he'd done the right thing. He nodded, saying, "I'll drive ya."

Kurt couldn't sit still during the trip. He needed to see her, touch her, know she was whole and safe. As they came within sight of the house, he couldn't wait anymore and teleported from the jeep to her living room, filling it with the scent of sulfur and brimstone.

Her hand rubbing at a spot on her left shoulder, Jenny was sitting curled up in a corner of the couch with her phone beside her, and he knew she'd been sitting there since Logan had called. At his sudden appearance, she looked up at him through tear-filled eyes, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry... I thought you knew. If you don't want to see me anymore..."

Almost running across the room, Kurt sat beside her and gathered Jenny into his arms. "Sshhh, liebling, it does not matter," he said softly, stroking her hair. He put a finger to her lips when she started to speak. "I need to feel you are alive and you need to be held. Let me hold you."

Pulling her onto his lap, he held her as he would a child and kissed the top of her head, while Jenny snuggled her face against the downy softness of the skin on his neck. They sat like that for a long time, with Kurt murmuring reassurances in German and stroking her hair while Jenny slowly controlled her tears.

Finally, when she was calm and comfortable, Jenny whispered, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I guess I wanted to take the easy way out. I knew Ororo was telling Kitty and Logan is your friend, so I just assumed one of them would have told you."

Never stopping his stoking of her hair, he said, "I understand."

"Logan told you everything?"

"Ja, everyzing you told zem," Kurt said quietly. "Do not be afraid, I could not turn avay from you, Jenny. You are lieb zu mir, important. I vant to share everyzing vith you, gut und schlecht."

Her hand shaking, Jenny reached up and ran her fingertips up and down his face in a slow caress. Her eyes, when she met his, were vulnerable and turning his head, Kurt kissed her palm.

Suddenly, Jenny leaned forward and kissed him, a deep lingering kiss. Responding eagerly to her new boldness, Kurt was awed that she could think of him sexually and was terrified he might do something to scare her.

Then, just as suddenly, she pulled away, and her eyes were no longer vulnerable but determined.

"I want to share with you too." Moving off his lap, Jenny took a deep breath reaching deep to drag up all her courage, grasped the hem of her shirt, and slowly pulled it over her head. As she pulled her hair free, she was surprised that she didn't feel any fear, and knew she was doing the right thing. "I've never shown anyone. Ever. Some have seen, but I've never shown my scars to them, it just happened. But I want you to see me, Kurt, because they're part of me and I don't want to hide from you."

Valiantly keeping his eyes on her face instead of the black lace bra - or more precisely what was barely inside the black lace bra - Kurt was worried he had pressured her into doing something she wasn't ready for without meaning to, "You do not have to do zis if you do not vish to, liebchen. I vould never vant you to do somezing you are not comfortable vith."

Jenny smiled and took his hand in hers, rubbing her cheek against it as she said, "That just makes it better, Kurt. The night of the barbeque I told Ororo that I had to let people accept me scars and all, but I didn't do that with you as I should have. I told myself I was, but I didn't. This is me, Kurt, and I want you to know me, scars and all."

His yellow eyes gleamed as Kurt pulled her back onto his lap, "Zen lets start vith zis." He kissed her leisurely, then he trailed kisses across her cheek and down her neck to her left shoulder.

Sliding her bra strap over, he kissed red scar tissue. "Is it sore from your bra or from rubbing it?" he asked.

Swallowing, Jenny whispered, "Both, the bra strap sometimes irritates it and I rub it without thinking about it."

Brushing her hair aside, Kurt followed one scar to the next and kissed it's length from shoulderblade to shoulderblade. "Do zey hurt? Damage like zis can haf long lasting effects."

Breathing deep and shivering at his breath on her skin, she made an effort to speak normally, "The muscles spasm sometimes if I do too much or if I don't stretch regularly."

"You do zat often, I did not realize vhat you vere doing." He released the clasp on her bra to begin tracing his lips across the entire mass, wanting to kiss and make it better, though he knew it would really never be better for either of them. Her living with it and him knowing what was done to her. "You make zem look like natural movements."

"They are now. I don't even realize what I'm doing most of the time. Like when I rub my shoulder." Her breath was coming faster now, even though she couldn't really feel him very well through the scar tissue. Just knowing he was touching her was affecting her.

"I am not scaring you?" Kurt asked concern evident in his voice.

"You've never scared me." Jenny turned to look at him, his fingers still tracing the mass of scars. "I like you touching me. I've never wanted anyone to touch me before."

"Sie sind so sehr schön." He was unable to find the words in English as he looked into her eyes.

She pulled away slightly and was serious in her reply, "I'm not beautiful, really I'm not. No," she went on quickly before he could stop her, "I don't mean my back. I look in a mirror every day, and I'm passable, but not beautiful."

"You are to me." He hadn't realized she didn't understand her beauty. "Your mirror lies to you. I see lovely vomen all ze time, none are as you. You are beautiful inside and out."

He kissed her again before turning her around and kissing every inch of her back, every scar both big and small, every indentation and ridge. Proving to her in the only way he knew that she was beautiful all over in his eyes.

In the end, Jenny lay on her stomach on the couch, her bra on the floor, and a dazed but pleased expression on her face.

Riding home beside Logan a little more than two hours after arriving, Kurt told himself he would have to control himself better. Considering their time together, he realized that since the beginning Jenny had followed where he led in their relationship. It would be very easy to go somewhere she wasn't ready for. Too easy, and he couldn't let himself.

No matter how ready he was himself, he couldn't take the chance he might scare her or, even inadvertently, push her into a sexual relationship she wasn't ready for. She was too important to him.

to be continued.

German key:
lieb zu mir - dear to me
gut und schlecht - good and bad
Sie sind so sehr schön. - You are so beautiful.
note:
GothikStrawberry- You have been hiding things! Where were you when I was working on the German accent and phases? Just you remember if its wrong all I had to go by was tv and the AOL translator.
Elizabeth Robbins- I don't think she will. Simply, because she's seen too many people misrepresent God to take the chance. She believes in God and is a good person. It's enuf.
B Oots- Lots to come! Just you wait!
CaptainTish- Isn't he neat? I actually had a priest somewhat like him in that no one knew he was a priest unless he told you. Jenny is against organized religion, until or unless she sees one that actually accepts all. I'm sure there's Buddism and such but we are speaking of Christianity in this sense because she is Christian. Comicverse is VERY complicated and you should hear some of us when we argue about things because Marvel tends to contradict itself. I ignore what doesn't work for me.
S- I was actually trying to be subtle about it. Jenny wouldn't want it to be too obvious. Very private you know. Remember also, that F&N was alternate Jenny and that sequence didn't happen here. However if you pay attention, she tends to watch him ALOT, as though she can't help it...
Irbis- You are right, however it was early days and they really didn't have a relationship yet, just kinda the promise of one. I had to put a bump in there and I really don't see them arguing much.

As a special favor (and because I don't want to get nagged about it at work by someone who didn't even REVIEW! Personal comments don't count!) I will post again on Monday. If I get up to speed as I hope to I will then go to a 4-5day span between postings. That's if, no promises.

Also, I sincerely apologize for getting off-track, but it wasn't by much... I mean, Jenny to Kurt, Kurt to Mystique... it works out. I think I have an idea for a short story that would have fit between ch4 and 5, if I get it done and back I will post it. So, if you have ideas for the title on the short stories send 'em quick!

Next Chapter! There's trouble in paradise in the words (or thoughts) of Harry...

Update: I am redoing chapter 16 because I wasn't happy with it, and I wrote... um... 2 or 3 short-stories, and working on an adult for aff, but they were all Jenny! Really. Promise. Sorry, but I know where I want to go and its just getting there. I think I should have turned and I went straight.

Thanks for reading and the support,
Dizi