Thanks for the reviews:
Devonshirelass: Sometimes people act a certain way because of reasons we don't understand. I think maybe you'll change your mind as the story progresses. But I'm really glad you like it. Hope I don't disappoint later.
LANCELOTTRISTANBABY: You're very astute! Let me know if the story is progressing too fast. Sometimes I think it is, then I reread what I've written and can't decide how to change anything, so I just don't. Hope you like the next chapter.
Lady11Ocult: Maybe there is no 'right' or 'wrong', just different perceptions. Hope you like the rest.
Disclaimer: I own no part of the Arthurian legend, including characters and scenes that can be recognized from the movie by Jerry Bruckheimer or the book by Frank Thompson or the screenplay by David Franzoni. The legend belongs to no one, including me. There is no infringement on property owned by others intended and since I own nothing but sentimental items, suing would be pointless. I don't even own Sarah, she is modeled and named after a friend that I admire a good deal.
On with my story…
The ride back to fort had been uneventful. They had not crossed paths with any more Woads and even though she could tell Gawain was in pain, he had kept up with the others without any trouble. A couple of times, Dagonet had checked his wound and each time had not looked happy. She assumed it was because the cloth looked more soaked with blood as the day progressed. She didn't know how much blood he had lost, but it had been a lot.
They entered the courtyard and Gawain was helped down from his horse. Dagonet and Galahad took him and went into the fortress. Sarah stepped off her horse and stood looking after them for a minute. She was brought out of her thoughts when Lancelot reached for her reins. "I'll take your horse and see that it is taken care of." She gave him a dirty look, "I said I would return with you and I will not try to sneak away. I don't go back on my word even if I don't agree with what you made me do." Then she turned and headed toward the tavern. Maybe Vanora would let her work again. She had to do something until she was allowed to leave.
On the way to Gawain's room, Dag noticed that the man had passed out. He hoped it was a response to the pain, but figured it more likely brought on by the amount of blood he had lost. He realized there must be more damage on the inside than he had hoped. Otherwise the bleeding would have completely stopped by now. He shook his head, he wished he knew how to repair the damage. But all they could do was keep pressure until the bleeding stopped on it's own and hope it was soon or the man could die.
Galahad helped him lay Gawain on the bed. They removed his clothing and covered him up. Dag went to get more material for bandages and some of the salve he used to stave off infection. Galahad stayed with his friend and watched for any sign that he would be waking up soon. "Damn that woman," he said aloud to the empty room. "She didn't act like she cared that he could be dying, we should have just let the Woads have her." Gawain's voice got his attention, "You don't mean that, Galahad."
He saw that Gawain was looking at him, pain in his features. "Yes I do. She means nothing to me and it's plain that she cares for no one but herself." He told him angrily. "You're wrong, Galahad. She cares. She's just confused." Gawain tried to make him see what he'd seen in her eyes as she knelt beside Dag. "She was going to leave without waiting to see if you would be alright." Galahad didn't know what he saw in the woman, but he didn't want him to have some false sense of her.
"She lost her family and won't admit it even to herself. How do we know she wasn't afraid to stay. If she stayed she would know for sure if I lived or died. If she left she could always believe that I'd lived whether I did or not." He took a deep breath and winced from the pain. "Don't judge her. We can only guess at what she holds in her heart." He closed his eyes, trying to gain strength from not having to work at focusing on his friend. "I'll not say another cross word about her, but not because I believe you're right. I'll do it only because you ask." He didn't know if Gawain had heard him or not. He was sleeping again and Galahad knew that would be the best thing for him to do.
Dag returned with the supplies he would need to really deal with Gawain's wound. Galahad told him that the man had been awake just moments before and Dag told him it was a good sign. He unwrapped the makeshift bandage and began to clean around the hole left by the arrow. The blood was not pouring out anymore and Dag hoped it was because it had finally stopped bleeding and not because there wasn't much blood left. He heard him moan a couple of times as he worked on the wound. Once he thought he heard him call her name, but he couldn't be sure. His voice was soft whatever he said. He told Galahad that all they could do was sit and wait, he left saying something about needing a drink, so Dag pulled a chair up to sit. He didn't want to leave him alone until he was sure the bleeding wouldn't start up again. It looked like it was going to be a long day, so he made himself comfortable.
Sarah was behind the counter filling pitchers when she saw Galahad come into the tavern. She let one of the other girls wait on him. She didn't want to face him after what had been said on the trail. She wanted to tell him that she wasn't abandoning his friend. She just had to get away from him. He made her feel things that weren't right for a woman who was betrothed to someone else. His eyes made her remember the kiss from the day before. They made her want to kiss him again and she couldn't do that to Derek until she knew for sure whether he was alive or dead. The thought startled her, causing her to drop one of the pewter pitchers. "Of course, he's alive." She said aloud to herself. Then she made a silent plea, 'Please be alive.' She had meant it about Derek, but it was Gawain's face she saw behind her closed eyelids.
She quickly opened her eyes and shook her head. 'I've got to get him off my mind and the only way to do that is to face him again.' She headed toward Vanora, "Vanora, I know I said I wanted to work today, but I really need to check on Gawain." She saw the look Vanora was giving her as she said, "Of course, Girl, go on. Everything's under control. Come back when you're sure he'll be alright." Then she quickly shooed her toward the entrance. Sarah gave her a small smile of thanks and pulled her apron off, handing it to her before she left.
She had never been to the knight's quarters before and wasn't sure which door to knock on when she stepped into the hallway. Steeling herself against her sudden shyness, she knocked on the first door. When no one answered, she moved to the next. She had knocked on four doors when she heard someone move toward the door. She stepped back, trying to prepare what she would say when the door opened, and she saw Dagonet standing there. "I just wanted to check on Gawain. Is this his room?" She quickly asked before she lost her nerve.
"Yeah, come in. He's sleeping right now, but the bleeding finally stopped and I cleaned and dressed the wound." He was filling her in as she stepped toward the man laying on the bed. She looked at his face and saw that it was extremely pale. "Are you sure he's just asleep? He looks so pale." She never removed her gaze from his face and had to keep herself from reaching over and touching his face.
"Yeah, Galahad said he was awake earlier. His breathing is unlabored and steady. His heartbeat is strong. With rest I think he will recover without any more trouble." She nodded without looking at him. He thought she looked relieved. He studied her while she was occupied and saw the worry still etched in her features. He decided to try a little experiment, "I've got some things I need to attend to. Could you sit with him until I return?" She didn't look in his direction as she spoke, "Yes. I'd like to stay until he wakes anyway. I want to thank him." Then she finally pulled her eyes from Gawain and looked up, "I'm not as cold and heartless as Galahad believes. I just had to get away from… from…" She let her words trail off for a moment, then with renewed strength, "from the blood. It made me feel ill."
He stood looking into her eyes for a moment, then asked, "From the blood, or from Gawain?" He saw the uncertainty that she quickly covered by looking back at the man on the bed, "The blood. Why would I need to get away from him?" It was as Dag thought, Gawain had affected her and she was trying to deny it. "You wouldn't. He is a good man. You just need to give him a chance to show you." She didn't say anything and he hadn't expected her to. But he did want her to think about it while she stayed there and watched him. Dag reached out and touched her arm, "Here, sit on this chair. I won't be too long, but you'll get tired if you stand the whole time." She followed his guidance without looking up. When he turned to leave the room he saw that she hadn't taken her eyes off Gawain's face. He shook his head and left.
Sarah sat watching his chest rise and fall as he slept. She looked at his face and noticed that he was very handsome, even with the blood that still covered him. She noticed he had many scars on his shoulders and chest. One in particular looked like it had been a bad wound before it healed. She could see that it had required stitches and she wondered how a man could take the kind of pain the wound would have caused and still be willing to put himself in a position to be hurt again. Before she realized it she was standing next to him and was tracing her finger down the scar. She stopped where the covers began, even though the scar ran beneath them. So intent on what she had been doing, she didn't realized his eyes were open and he was watching her. She jumped when he put his hand on top of hers.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you. I was just… just…" She couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't sound lame and she didn't want to admit even to herself, that she hadn't realized she was going to touch him until she already had started. She felt her face blush and wanted to cover up her embarrassment by turning away, but she couldn't with him holding her gaze with his.
"Sarah, you didn't disturb me." He said quietly, then a little more forcefully, "Galahad didn't mean what he said earlier. He says things when he's worried and we've all learned not to be offended. I'm sorry if his words hurt you." She began to shake her head to deny that she had been hurt, but she couldn't lie to him. Not when his eyes seemed to be looking straight into her heart. She stopped shaking her head and shrugged, "I deserved what he said." She said as she tried to pull her hand from beneath his.
His hand closed around hers and she shivered from the sensations she felt. She tried to think of something to say that would take his attention away from her face. She knew it had to be bright red from the heat she felt rise to the top of her head. She relaxed her arm and stopped trying to pull her hand free. He lifted her hand and placed it on his chest. "I'm glad you came." He whispered as he closed his eyes. He only meant to rest them for a moment, but he was so tired he soon fell asleep.
She saw him close his eyes and felt a chill replace the heat in her face. It was like having the sun on your face and then a cloud covers the sun and you miss the heat. She waited for him to open his eyes and when she realized he had fallen back to sleep, she gently pulled her hand free from his and returned to the chair. This is where Lancelot found her when he stopped to check on Gawain.
"Ahh, Lady Sarah, I didn't realize Gawain was entertaining a guest. I would have waited and not interrupted." He said cheekily when he entered the room without knocking. He watched her blush as she quickly stood up and turned to face him. He smiled inwardly, failing to inform her that he did indeed know that she was with Gawain. Dag had informed them when he came to the tavern. Galahad had not been happy about it, saying rather adamantly that they should have just let her go on her way. Dag had described how she was behaving and he wanted to see for himself. For if what Dag said was true, then it sounded like she was just as enamored with the man as he was with her.
"He is sleeping, you didn't interrupt anything. I am just waiting for Dagonet to return and …" She stopped talking when she saw the smirk on his face. "You knew I was here. Why did you find it necessary to try to embarrass me?" She wanted to be angry, but she was tired of being angry whenever these men were near.
"I apologize, but I find it interesting that after such a tantrum about leaving, you are sitting with the man who delayed your trip. I wonder… could he have peaked your interest?" He was tapping his lips as he spoke and staring at the man asleep on the bed. He saw her place her hands on her hips as her eyes flashed. But only for a moment, before she lowered her eyes and turned to look at Gawain. "I assure you that my interest lies elsewhere, with the man I am to marry when I return home. I am merely thankful that he is recovering so that I may thank him for being concerned with my well being. Now if you are going to stay, I will go back to the tavern. I'm sure Vanora could use the help."
She turned and headed toward the door but Lancelot stopped her when he said, "No, Lady, I cannot stay. I just stopped to check on him on my way to see Arthur. He will be asking about his condition." He watched the war going on behind her eyes. She went from being aggravated to being relieved. He wasn't sure which emotion was for the fact that she would have to stay, relief or aggravation. Being a betting man, his money was on relief.